Nursery forcing us to toilet train DS at 2.5yrs?

[GoldenLeaves20]

Anyone else had this? DS is 2.5, and nurses are making all the kids in his class to toilet train. They want all the kids to be out of nappies by July. We are starting this weekend, pants only in the day and sitting on the toilet every 20mins.

DS pees and poops in the toilet, he's fine about it. But he has zero idea of when he needs to go.

But but but, it's soooo hard and tedious. He's had so many accidents already. Our carpet has been sprayed in lots of places with pet cleaner. I've internally lost my shit 100x this morning and it's only 10:30!!

How the fuck do I keep it together AND keep my house sanitary and the sofa, carpet and chairs not ruined by this process????

I'm sure disposable nappies are one of the reasons toilet training happens so much later these days. The main selling point on all the ads is that the precious little darlings will be happy and sleep through because they won't feel wet.

I tried training my son at 2.5 and he absolutely wasn't ready and we had a fortnight of complete chaos. Gave up and tried again 6 months later - this time he was ready and was toilet trained within 3 days.

It's not up to the nursery to dictate when your kids should be toilet trained. Kids are ready on their own schedule and the nursery should know this. Personally, I'd put my foot down. (And maybe speak to other parents and see how they feel about it. Mijght be easier if several of you feel the same and can support each other in pushing back.)

@jannier I went to nursery at 3 in 1982, as did my elder brother in 1980, as did every other child I went to school with.

As for potty training before nursery when my DD's started nursery at 3 in 2003 & 2005 the rule was they had to be potty trained to start but the majority of children were already trained & it gave the parents who hadn't got round to it a kick up the bum to get it done.

By the time DS started in 2011 that rule had changed & his nursery class had more un-trained than trained children which caused a lot of disruption with staff having to constantly be out changing nappies.

OP it's definitely not one of the joys of motherhood but it's only for a week or so & it really does make life so much easier once it's done - hang in there & make sure you have a supply of wine/cake/chocolate/treat of choice to reward yourself.

Pre 1998/9 children in England started school nursery at 4 this changed at the same time the reception entry was lowered so my son went into reception aged 5 my daughter aged 4 and just as it is now most children starting school nursery the term after they turn 3 are potty trained.....I know I work with them. Children have not changed they still typically potty train at around 30 months some younger some older ....in around a week.....some people choose to wee catch and spend months at it by starting before their child is ready.
If you wait until the child is ready there is no need for wine otherwise after 30 years continually doing it I'd be an alcoholic living in a home that smelt like a toilet.

@jannier I'm in Scotland where kids have always gone to nursery at 3.

I never expected anyone else to potty train my kids though & took the time off work to be able to do it myself - all 3DC were done at 2, within the week & with very few accidents once the week was done.

You're right in that fundamentally children haven't changed but even just amongst family & friends with younger children I find most people are waiting later to potty train these days & starting school rather than nursery seems to be the deadline this is set at now - for some children here that can be at almost 6 due to the deferral policy.

He might not be ready. Trying before he is ready is very likely to be counter productive and take longer than if you just waited a bit. Surely the nursery can't decide when to toilet train him? They must realise all children are different..
Insisting he goes to the toilet every 20 minutes is likely to lead to him refusing to go!