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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Nursery forcing us to toilet train DS at 2.5yrs?

131 replies

GoldenLeaves20 · 20/05/2023 10:50

Anyone else had this? DS is 2.5, and nurses are making all the kids in his class to toilet train. They want all the kids to be out of nappies by July. We are starting this weekend, pants only in the day and sitting on the toilet every 20mins.

DS pees and poops in the toilet, he's fine about it. But he has zero idea of when he needs to go.

But but but, it's soooo hard and tedious. He's had so many accidents already. Our carpet has been sprayed in lots of places with pet cleaner. I've internally lost my shit 100x this morning and it's only 10:30!!

How the fuck do I keep it together AND keep my house sanitary and the sofa, carpet and chairs not ruined by this process????

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Okunevo · 20/05/2023 10:51

How often are you prompting him to go?

Mrsjayy · 20/05/2023 10:53

Well you have to take him to the toilet are you doing that or just letting him have free rein? Put him in a pull up take him at regular intervals and see how he goes it can take weeks as an aside the nursery is expecting a lot.

BuffaloCauliflower · 20/05/2023 10:53

It’s absolutely not up to them to decide this and I’d put my foot down. I’m about to try and toilet train my 2.5yo because I think he’s ready to try, but can’t be sure until we give it a go. If your DS can’t tell when he needs to go after 3-4 days of trying he’s probably not ready. But this is a decision that you make as a parent for your son, nursery have zero say and should just be supporting your choices.

Okunevo · 20/05/2023 10:54

Sorry, he is sitting every 20 minutes? That seems a bit frequent, is he weeing that often?

statetrooperstacey · 20/05/2023 10:54

If he’s having lots of accidents then I would say he’s not physically ready. What will happen if he’s not out of nappies by July? Will he be expelled?!!

Hugasauras · 20/05/2023 10:54

Nursery cannot 'make' children potty train. Just say he's not ready and you will not be doing it.

Mrsjayy · 20/05/2023 10:54

Well if he's going to the toilet why is he peeing all over the house?

immergeradeaus · 20/05/2023 10:55

You started this morning and your ds is having lots of accidents… this is normal! Just have a few potties round the house and lots of praise for when he gets something in the loo or potty. He’ll pick it up soon enough.

Mrsjayy · 20/05/2023 10:56

It's not even 11 am

lostat · 20/05/2023 10:56

It's day one! In a week if there is no progress (more like 3 days in my experience) then shelve it for a month or two.

discan · 20/05/2023 10:57

Your child isn't ready and it's not up to nursery to dictate when you do this.

dementedpixie · 20/05/2023 10:58

Use pull ups and take to the toilet regularly. Every 20 minutes is too often though. If he's not ready he's not ready so you might not get there just yet.

ChildcarePanic · 20/05/2023 10:58

I wouldn't have liked this. I potty trained my son just before he turned 3 and it was so easy. He literally was properly toilet trained within less than a month. We tried at just before 2.5 and it was disastrous and he would scream and shout and cry. So glad I waited for both our sakes.

SheilaFentiman · 20/05/2023 10:59

We tried with DS2 at about 2.4, he just wasn’t getting it, so we agreed with nursery to leave it, tried again just before 3 and it went fine.

that said, it’s his first day so I wouldn’t despair just yet.

discan · 20/05/2023 10:59

The fact that nursery is putting all kids into the same expectation box would be enough for me to pull mine out though. Children are individual and develop their various skills at different rates. A nursery who has a blanket time on potty training are indicating they do not understand child development at all.

ILoveMyCaravan · 20/05/2023 10:59

Absolutely NOT up to the nursery to dictate this! Some children are just not physically ready at the same time. I would refuse until my child had shown real signs that he was ready.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/05/2023 11:00

I hope you’re not “losing your shit” with your son, not his fault.

ChildcarePanic · 20/05/2023 11:01

SheilaFentiman · 20/05/2023 10:59

We tried with DS2 at about 2.4, he just wasn’t getting it, so we agreed with nursery to leave it, tried again just before 3 and it went fine.

that said, it’s his first day so I wouldn’t despair just yet.

Cross posted but this was exactly our situation

Hugasauras · 20/05/2023 11:04

We tried DD1 at just before 2.5, she got very distressed so we stopped. Three months later she did a pee on the potty so we gave it another shot and it was so easy. It does take some persevering, but the issue is that you're persevering because of some arbitrary non-child-led rule set by nursery (that you're presumably paying for). Our nursery supported our decision to potty train, they didn't tell us when to do it or give us a deadline.

SheilaFentiman · 20/05/2023 11:07

I think between us and nursery we tried for around a week the first time, before a “yeah, this isn’t working, back to pull ups!” conversation, which was all very amicable (I think it was our idea to try)

mynameiscalypso · 20/05/2023 11:19

My DS was pretty traumatised by trying to train at about that age, maybe a bit later. He was so distressed by it all that it definitely set him back and he ended up not toilet training until 3.5 (and was dry day and nights after one day). Nursery don't get to dictate this.

hungryh1ppo · 20/05/2023 11:22

Our ds trained when he was 18mo. Our reason for starting was his interest as he watched his not much bigger brother use the loo.

The first day we did pants and sitting on the toilet every 20mins and after a snack, food or drink. We had quite a few accidents the first day but the second only a couple and dry the 3rd day. So it might still work for you.

We had more success when wearing pants than not because he could feel the damp rather than it flowing away from him.

I would try and keep it pressure free with him. Can you spend a lot of time in the garden to save your carpets and chairs?

hungryh1ppo · 20/05/2023 11:23

Or could you try wearing pants inside pull-ups so he gets the sensation of wetting but your house is saved?

RandomMess · 20/05/2023 11:23

Stick him in leggings and pants, they help soak up the wee and make them very aware that they are wet.

Play outside for the day.

I never did the lots of prompting, they need to make a connection between bladder being full and taking themselves to the toilet/potty.

Give it 48 hours if he isn't get the hang of it leave it for a month.

Toffeebythesea · 20/05/2023 11:25

I had this with with a nursery. They accepted DC for a place and then said he couldn't come because he wasn't toilet trained aged 3. They then refused to return my deposit.
My DC wasn't ready until 3.5 years. Don't be pushed into it. You know what's best for your child not them

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