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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Horrible experience today

129 replies

frogwell1 · 19/08/2013 17:06

Hello all, I'm potty training my 2 year old and have a 16 month old baby, and today had a day off work so thought I'd treat us to a nice lunch out in House of Fraser cafe in the mall in Sutton Coldfield. During lunch of course the 2 year old wanted a wee, so I got the travel pot out and put it between the pushchair and table so nobody could really see, the little one was still having lunch and there is no way my little girl could hold it long enough to pack everything up, go in a lift to the floor where the toilet is, queue etc.

Anyway she was just finishing when the manageress of the cafe came up and said that 'people were complaining' about the little girl being on the potty and that there were facilities downstairs. I explained that she couldn't wait to go downstairs and that I had the other one eating dinner!! So said 'yes, but it is a restaurant' - would the silly woman rather my little girl weed on the floor?? Or in the highchair?? And also, it would be impossible to even see her unless you were craning your neck, she is obviously tiny, was on the floor being hidden by the pushchair, and we weren't even sitting near anyone.

It turned out that the people who were complaining were a table of nasty old people, because one of them came up to have a go at me and tell me that 'there are facilities' - to which I replied she is being potty trained and can't wait, you nasty, mean piece of work.' to which she didn't really have a reply.

I can't believe that people can be so petty and spiteful. And I'm disgusted at the manageress for upholding such a stupid nasty complaint. Its really upset me to be attacked like that, its hard enough with 2 under 3 anyway without being subjected to abuse when I'm out. I'm sitting here crying.

OP posts:

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ChippingInHopHopHop · 19/08/2013 18:31

No - this isn't netmums, it's Mumsnet. Here you will be told straight when you are out of line. If you want sympathetic 'hunning' then you need netmums.

If she has been 'potty trained' for a month she should be able to wait long enough for you to get to a toilet.

A potty in a cafe just isn't acceptable.

K8Middleton · 19/08/2013 18:33

When an urgent wee has occurred out (and it still does from time to time even when they're 4) and we have been in a department store cafe we have legged it to the loo leaving purchased food and drinks on the table and unpurchasd food on the tray.

However, we always choose somewhere that we know has an accessible loo close by although on one occasion baby dd was left outside the door to the ladies with the shopping while Ds and I did the dash to the loo.

He's even had the odd outside wee including one by the traffic lights in a flower bed (lovely ) but never, never have I caused a situation like the op has by choosing an unsuitable venue and taking a potty.

At least it is very easy to prevent this situation happening again so that's one fewer cause for a horrible day. There will be more. That's the nature of parenting.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 19/08/2013 18:34

Well, actually, to put it more accurately - I wouldn't mind a small child on a potty having a wee in a cafe - but I would think that a large percentage of people would mind, so would never do it and would be surprised to see it being done. Also, there is always that risk of it turning into a poo while she's there!

OneStepCloser · 19/08/2013 18:38

Potty training does not mean allowing you dc to piss anywhere, I cant believe this needs to be pointed out to you tbh.

chilipeppers · 19/08/2013 18:43

Ffs people you all need to get over yourselves. A toddler doing a little wee very discreetly by the sounds of it would really upset you that much?? Like she could hold it while this poor ladie packed everything up, got both her children into a buggy and found the loo. Get a grip people!!

Tweasels · 19/08/2013 18:44

I saw a woman at the aquarium whip out a potty (a normal one) and make her DD sit on it. I was , it was about a 30 second walk to the toilets.

I have never carried a potty anywhere, it wouldn't enter my head.

Sirzy · 19/08/2013 18:45

Then chilli you don't go out until she can or you plan trips carefully.

It is not acceptable for anyone to wee in a cafe.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 19/08/2013 18:48

chilli would you say that had she had a poo or the runs suddenly or missed the potty , tipped it over etc. it was a cafe. Not the place for toileting.

I wouldn't have complained as I would feel that the mum was just trying to deal with a situation but I would never allow my children to pee in a potty where people are trying to eat. It's just not what you do.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 19/08/2013 18:50

Completely unacceptable for anyone of any age to be weeing anywhere in anything (but a nappy) in a café. End of.

fengirl1 · 19/08/2013 18:50

YAB totally U.

chilipeppers · 19/08/2013 18:53

But she didnt poo it was a wee!!

Fourbears · 19/08/2013 18:54

I guess I'm coming to it from the perspective of having had a child who was very slow to potty train. If i hadn't have used a travel potty we wouldn't have left the house for 2+ years! Dc2 on the other hand trained at 2 and a half after one week. I was all psyched up for an almighty battle again!

The woman coming over to complain after the manageress had had a word was unnecessary and depending on the tone could be taken as being nasty.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 19/08/2013 18:54

But a two year old can call either a wee. Mine did. op couldn't way have been able to know what it was going to be. Are you seriously saying your children have never said "I need a wee" and gone on to do a poo too???

Delayingtactic · 19/08/2013 18:57

Oh that's just grim. She obviously wasn't that well hidden because people saw her.

Ewwww.

But sorry you wanted head tilting and hair stroking so there, there, don't let the mean oldies get to you

chilipeppers · 19/08/2013 18:58

Are you really saying you should stay in for months on end if your DC can't hold a wee in for more then 5 minutes. Really?? Some children can take a long time to get to that point. It's just not practial!

tryasimight · 19/08/2013 18:59

You couldn't think what else to do?

I've been in this situation. I shoved all the food back on the tray and asked the lady behind the counter if she could save it for me then gathered up my 2 children under 3 and raced to the toilets.

tryasimight · 19/08/2013 18:59

(and with DC2 I ignored all the bollocks about not using pull ups and used them in these situations for the first couple of months).

littlemisswise · 19/08/2013 19:00

If they can't hold on then put them in trainer pants or pulls up. You don't, ever, put them on a potty in a bloody restaurant.

You have to be practical when choosing where to eat, too. The OP knew there wasn't a toilet nearby, so it wasn't a suitable place for lunch.

usualsuspect · 19/08/2013 19:01

It's unbelievable really.

LIZS · 19/08/2013 19:01

No but they are not really trained either if they are unreliable that long. You pick where you go according to the stage your child is at and the logistics involved. Having another small child complicates the whole situation for example. Café in shopping centre on your own with 2 lo's is inevitably a tricky one.

mynameisslimshady · 19/08/2013 19:02

You don't have to stay in for months, but you do need to put pullups on while out, or check the toilet situation before you go anywhere and plan ahead,

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 19/08/2013 19:02

No one stays in. You just alter what you do. I used to get an earlier bus so I could take dd to the lol before I had to be somewhere. I went to parks for a picnic where there were bushes to hide behind. Of we had to go somewhere where it wasn't possible to have a loo near by i used a pull up. I planned trips so that there was always time before and after to take dd to the toilet so the bus journey home wasn't an issue.

Jovellanos · 19/08/2013 19:02

Using ageist language ('nasty old people', 'OAPs') is almost as bad as letting your children urinate in a place where people are eating.

You'll be old one day OP. And I hope you are plagued with pissing children wherever you go.

Rank.

kelda · 19/08/2013 19:04

Did you really call the 'nasty old person' a 'nasty, mean piece of work'? That's really quick shocking and very spiteful of you.

K8Middleton · 19/08/2013 19:04

If they can't hold a wee for 5 minutes they're not trained.

Training is about learning to use the toilet/potty in the toilet. It is not about learning to piss in a potty instead of a nappy. At best that is advanced elimination communication.

We used pull ups for a long time and chose our venues carefully. I don't feel we missed out by not being able to go to HoF department store cafe away from the loos.

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