Started potty training today - anyone else want to give / get a bit of moral support?

[Biscuitsandtea]

Hi, DS is 3 and we've started potty training him today. We were hoping to wait until he woke up one morning and said 'I'm done with nappies thanks very much Mummy - let's go wild with the pants', but this hasn't happened so we thought we'd just try him with nothing on at first and then pants and see how it goes.

Just wondered if anyone else was starting too and wanted to go through it together?

We've done various bits of nappy free time for months with varying amounts of success, but only ever an hour or two here and there with no consistency to see how he was doing and whether we thought he knew when he was weeing or pooing. It's only recently that I've thought that he actually does know hence deciding to give it a go today.

We had a quiet weekend so thought 'no time like the present!'

Now a couple of times in the week we'd had no nappy on and a fair bit of success in the potty. Wednesday = lots of mopping up wees but a few 'hits' at the end of the afternoon. Thursday was better with no accidents. but this was still doing everything bare bum!

Today we were doing pretty well this morning. Everything going in the potty and no accidents, so after lunch we thought we'd try adding pants into the equation. previously pants = accidents (I wonder if he would forget it wasn't a nappy?) so we never persevered with them, but we have this afternoon. Certainly more accidents this afternoon, which is I think a mixture of being tired and the 'pant effect' and we had a very rough few hours between say 3 and 5. Then we've had a few more wees on the potty and going a bit better this evening.

We're planning more of the same tomorrow but we have a birthday party to go to in the afternoon and I'm in a bit of a predicament about that in as much as I don't want to go back to nappies and confuse / demoralise him, but equally don't want loads of accidents at my friend's DDs party so as yet we're undecided. I think at the moment we'll be erring on the side of a nappy as it's just not fair if he has an accident in the middle of the party?

Anyway, anyone who wants to join me for the ride, please come aboard :-)

I'll have , and to help the journey go along!

Oh, and rhetorician, I think yes, ask the nursery to take her every hour, especially at first until she gets used to weeing etc there. They should be fine with that shouldn't they?

biscuits arse for you; is he just fed up with the whole thing? I feel like I am constantly asking dd, and she just says 'no mummy, I don't need to wee' or 'no, I won't forget'. What would happen if you just backed off and said to him 'DS, you know how to do this and where to go, it's up to you; ask if you need help'?

We had no accidents today and she did wee on the toilet. I think I'll ask them if I can show her the toilet there tomorrow, and then for them to take her through the day. I did talk to her about it and ask her what she needed to do at nursery and she said that she needed to say 'please can I go to the toilet'. Bless. I expect some accidents, but if they will persevere she'll probably be fine.

She is actually rather pleased with herself.

Aw rhetorician that sounds like a great day

We have pretty much been leaving him to it - I do remind him occasionally but more often than not he's just been taking himself. I make sure he knows where the potty is and remind that the toilet exists and then leave him to it.

Just didn't work today

To the question on nursery I think u should get them to take her my ds has just started nursery but they only take them when they ask & after every meal.
I hope today is a better day for you sometimes I feel like ? when ds has a bad day (Friday) but if u stick with it it will all b worth it.
Update for over the weekend:
Friday disaster Saturday was a lot better loads of wees on the potty either me telling him or him taking himself & than sunday loads of wees on potty & 2 ? than he shocked me & dh at midnight by coming up to us saying he needed a wee grand total is 3 accidents from Saturday- sunday I hope it's all up from now ?

just dropped her off - am a bit worried about her as I think she is anxious about it; I talked to her about it this morning and she said 'mummy I want you to help me with the toilet' :( she has done so so well, and I feel really sorry that she has to make the transition so soon. But I am sure she will do fine - they are fully expecting accidents and so am I - I just think she won't be happy about it

Aw rhetorician - hope it all goes ok for her. Keeping fingers crossed for her (and you) xx

Good luck ? hope all goes well

Well, DS must have got through almost all of the day with no accidents as when I got to nursery he was wearing the same clothes he went in, except for the addition of a big wet patch round his bum and it turned out he had just had a double whammy poo and wee accident :(

So clean him up, another pep talk about getting some stickers etc. walking home and half way he says he needs a wee so we popped into a pub we were close to and he did the tiniest little wee, but cue much praise etc from me for managing to tell me.

Anyway, we got in and before I'd get him something to eat / put the TV on etc I said we had to tidy up from his accident at nursery so was just washing out the clothes. He's gone all quiet stood there so I ask if he needs a poo. 'No' he says. Then starts making his poo noise so I asked him again and he said yes, but just stood there. So I said 'well let's go to the toilet quickly then'. 'But I've already done it Mummy' :(. So he had literally stood there and pushed the poo out without even attempting to do anything about it.

I'm really trying to not be totally exasperated but I just don't get it!!

So anyway, there we are tidying up the poo accident and I run out of loo roll, look round, no spare there. Tell DS to just stay where he is while I run upstairs for some more. Come back in. 'I've done a wee too Mummy'. Like, all over his clothes that were on the floor that we'd just taken off! Not even an attempt to get on the toilet or anything even though he's stood next to it.

I am just beside myself :(

I know I have to stay calm but why oh why does this have to be so fricking hard :(

Also, apparently at nursery the teacher asked DS if he needed a wee and he very proudly told her he'd already done a wee in his pants? Except that he hadn't.

I just want to cry. A lot.

We can't go back to nappies because I know he can do it and physically has the bladder control etc, so it's just behavioural now I think. And if we went back to nappies that would just teach him that it was OK to give up and go back to them.

I know how u feel ds went most if the day without having a accident (taking his pants down by himself) than he got lazy & started weeing everywhere (3 accidents) but than started using the potty again (bare bum) I know he can do it as it showed earlier on in the day but it does get frustrating but I just stay calm & say we don't do that big boys use potty or toilet so hopefully tomorrow will b better

I think I need some kind of calming therapy to deal with the accidents.....

hello everyone, haven't been on in a while. We managed to beat DS's balanitis with salt in the bath thankfully so going to stick with that to try and prevent any recurrence.
This is week 4. Feeling fed up. Biscuits, I could have written your post. We are probably having an accident once every couple of days. Mostly they happen towards the end of the day. Think my DS is fed up with listening to me asking him if he wants to do a wee. Today on way home from shopping centre, he weed in his car seat (he did tell me though). We got home and 15-20 mins in, he pooed in his pants. I can no longer do patient kind mummy and to be honest when he does this, I do sound exasperated with him. I can't go back as I think he is ready but maybe just not ready enough if that makes sense. This is hard. I offer my symnpathies up to the rest of you. When will he get it? He looks at me in bewilderment when he poos in his pants probably because I have this half-crazed bewildered look on my face. He stops and stares at me while he does it. Doesn't ask for a potty etc.....have sent DH out for a Magnum to help me through the evening.

Obviously I don't want you to be going through the same exasperating stage but it does kind of help to know it's not just us! I had to blame a sneaky toffee crisp that I ate yesterday on DH as DS found the wrapper. But I did confess my sins to DH and pointed out that while DS might get treats for successes, I get them for accidents!

Same thing here though, where I can see he knows he's pooing but just doesn't do anything about it, like tell me, or ask for the potty or toilet, or even attempt to take himself. I guess as adults we would do anything rather than go in our clothes, but I guess they don't have the same hang ups after so long in nappies?

Well I'm going to try everything I can to be patient with him today. The problem I often have is that directly after an accident, he's often quite naughty so I have to tell him off for that so it is impossible to separate 'calm for the accidents' from 'cross / exasperated' at him being naughty'. I don't know whether the accident triggers the naughty phase (normally about a 5 min spell) or the naughty spell triggers the accident. I think it might be that he knows he's done something 'wrong'?

Good luck one and all

Morning all so far 1 accident but I can't find the puddle but he did manage to get to the potty & do his ? & than he done a wee on the potty all by himself with no help with taking his pants down I think he has finally mastered pulling his pants down ( even if it is completely off) I think the next step he is working on is the timing

hello again; well, nursery didn't go too well, really. Two accidents, one wee and one poo, but I think she found it very stressful, perhaps because they kept taking her, whereas we let her take the lead. She was in a bit of state when I picked her up :( Clearly she held on for so long that then she just couldn't any more

But, she came home, immediately went on the potty and later on the loo, so she is happy enough to do it at home. I am not sure how to handle things from here - we might just wait and see how it goes and whether she just works it out herself at nursery, but I don't like her being so stressed and anxious about it.

She asked if she could stay in nappies all day today - she's at home - but she has happily gone for a wee. In fact she is going for a wee, or trying about every 20 minutes! So maybe she is just practicing.

At a slight loss as to how to handle the nursery thing.

biscuits good luck with the calm, calm, calm approach: it's difficult to keep your patience, isn't it?

Maybe you could speak to the nursery & just say to them only take her after meals or snacks or both & than the rest is down to her that's what my ds nursery does & he has settled fine & is beginning to ask for potty & so far he has had 2 accidents max

yes, I think I will tell them to let her lead the way - she can't perform if she feels under pressure, I think. She's a funny little thing, she needs to feel like she's in control of it (which is understandable, I wouldn't like it if someone kept taking me to the toilet and telling me to wee!)

I wish u the best if luck ?

I think the problem might be that we let her lead the way at home, and help her out a bit watching for cues etc - they obviously can't do this, and I am not sure that after a week that she is quite ready to be able to say 'I need to go to the toilet' which is the only way it will work at nursery.

She had huge pee in her pushchair on the way home from the library. 2 steps forward, one step back...I think yesterday confused her

Morning ladies,

Well yesterday was better. Had five successes by lunchtime / early afternoon and no accidents. They were a mixture of him asking and me promoting. Plus we were out for some of the time so then I tend to take him when I know we're near a loo, so eg we went before going round the supermarket etc. Still, it was all motivational and he liked getting the stickers.

Then he did a big wee on my LR rug while playing with done stickers. He was literally 3 steps from the potty at the time . Anyway, tv off, no playing until I've cleaned him up, mopped up, washed the clothes out and got him clean pants. Then not that much later, he told me he needed a wee and we had a good go on the loo, so that was another sticker.

Then later on he did another on the loo, earned a sticker and was being soooooo naughty while DH was trying to wash his hands, get his pants back on etc, we ended up not giving him the sticker! . He was subsequently naughty until he also had to have a bath with no toys, and no story at bedtime! Talk about pushing boundaries!

Bit weird then really because we ended up cutting so much out if his bedtime routine for him being naughty that we were back downstairs with him in bed by 6:40! Didn't quite know what to do with ourselves! I think he was tired though because he didn't even complain about no story - just snuggled down and went to sleep .

I do find though that when he has an accident, he's really troublesome for about 5-10 mins after. One of the nursery ladies reckons it is sort of the shame of it, in that he knows it's not good. But it really buggers up my bring calm because I can't distinguish between being calm about the accident but then having to tell him off for being disobedient.

Still, let's hope the stickers work again today......

I am a proud mum ds has done 3 ?& 13 wees all in potty with no help pulling his pants down ?.
3 accidents as well but that was because he was distracted so I think we have to work on that how's everyone else doing

Morning biscuit I was going to say could if be that he is upset about having accidents my ds use to cry when he had a accident, just an idea instead of cutting down his bedtime routine & not giving him a sticker have u tried the naughty step or a chill out time cos otherwise he might think there is no point in using the potty if he ain't getting a reward for it or maybe do a behaviour chart for each time he uses the potty or he don't use the potty just an idea

Oh the bedtime routine thing wasn't for the accident - it was several hours later. He was just being naughty! We do sometimes use the naughty step but this just seemed to work yesterday. He's only lost one sticker, but was being horrid! I actually wished I hadn't said it but I thought he would behave and once I've said something I do stick with it! I actually would have given it back if he'd showed any sign of repentance but he was so tired I think all bets were off and all he needed was to get in bed (on this occasion).

He still very much gets the idea that the stickers reward the potty and did really well with them yesterday. And in fact has done a wee on the loo this morning.

We are having to work on his general discipline too though (just his age) and we are taking a fairly tough stance so sometimes he just has to learn that there are consequences to being naughty (not potty accidents, I mean actually being disobedient / naughty). And I find the time out step works better when he's sort of frantic and needs to calm down, but that wasn't quite it yesterday.

Oh right I have that with ds but with the naughty step I knows when he is naughty he has got to go there & sometimes he puts himself there so it don't work for me but I wish u the best of luck for today

Morning everyone. Suffering from a bad cold so probably not in the best potty training form. We had an okay day yesterday. Went to collect DS from nursery and he was sat on the potty with pee around his feet as they hadn't pushed him down correctly. Changed him then had nightmare journey home where he managed to pee in his car seat again (can't blame him but wonder where the heck it is all coming from). Stripped him as soon as we were through the door and straight into bath/PJs (did I mention he was screaming all through this). When I eventually got him downstairs, got the soaked clothes into the machine etc, I was exhausted. He had been good at nursery and was asking to go but the two incidents we had leaving and on the way home weren't his fault. I think I am accepting that this is going to take longer and won't be wrapped up in a couple of weeks which I am okay about as I have my cleaning up routine perfected.

So far 2 accidents this morning 1 was not his fault he couldn't get his pants down quick enough but the other he just sat there & done it & didnt even attempt to get to one of the potties hopefully the rest of the day will b better