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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Question: Which toilet should a male use when taking DD to the loo??

149 replies

Dawnyann · 30/03/2011 11:05

Hi,

My & my DH are having a dilema over when he takes our DD out on his own and she needs the toilet, should he take her into the ladies or the mens??

I say it should be the ladies for a number of reasons:

  1. There won't be any mean standing with their bits out wee'ing up urinals for her to see
  2. he can go in cubicle with her
  3. Ladies toilets are generally cleaner (and nicer smelling than mens) Wink

He disagrees and says he always takes her in the mens!!

Is there a politically correct answer to this question?? I'd like to hear what other people think on this?

D
x

OP posts:
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Kewcumber · 30/03/2011 11:28

Ds is 5 and perfectly capable of understanding that he needs to go to the toilet with an appropriate adult until he is 7 (mostly) and that means the ladies when he is with mummy. Actually if he just neds a quick wee I will let him go into the mens and wiat outside the door at some places.

Don;t understand why its OK for boys to be in womens changing roomsand see women unclothes but not acceptable for a girl to see the merest glimpse (if she's really trying to look) of a willy?

Lots of toilets are unsanitory (not just mens) and if at all possible I'd walk out and either get DS to wait.

Elsjas · 30/03/2011 11:29

Definitely the men's loos.

cupnoodle · 30/03/2011 11:30

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smartyparts · 30/03/2011 11:30

He should take her into the men's. I'd be mighty surprised if I saw a bloke in the ladies regardless of having a dd with him.

I always took my ds to the ladies when they were smaller. The idea of me going into the men's just cos they're boys is quite frankly, bonkers!

cupnoodle · 30/03/2011 11:34

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Flisspaps · 30/03/2011 11:39

Men's.

Or the baby change if the men's are really horrendous, there's usually an adult loo in there.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 30/03/2011 11:41

DAWNY - I haven't read any sort of rule book or anything Grin - it has just never occurred to me to do it the other way round.

Yes, the child might see a flash of penis in the mens toilets. But it will be quick, and not inappropriate, given that people are going to the toilet.

The best thing to do it seek out somewhere that is likely to have better toilets - yes, mens are often worse than womens, but no public toilets are clean. ANd we aren't talking about street toilets, are we, more likely something like M&S.

Bramshott · 30/03/2011 11:45

I am OFTEN tempted to use the mens toilets when there's a massive queue for the ladies, but it's not really done is it?!

Original poster
Dawnyann · 30/03/2011 11:47

Pfft, so not only am i wrong now your telling me that i'm going to scruffy places & that I should be using a little more upmarket toilets - well thanks lmao :Op

Actually im thinking of taking my DD into the mens toilets myself now, so I might get to see a free flash of willy!!! Thats sure to brighten any ladies day! hehe x

OP posts:
SylvanianFamily · 30/03/2011 12:08

It is a minority issue in any case. You're assuming a place big enough to have cubicle toilets, but too small to have a baby change with a toilet (the obvious first choice for 'family toiletting'.

meditrina · 30/03/2011 12:17

I don't think an adult male should go into a ladies loo. So I'd say the child goes with a man to the gents and a woman to the ladies until the child is old enough to go on their own.

hogsback · 30/03/2011 12:22

Bramshott: not appropriate for women to use the men's toilets? Long time since you've been to a nightclub or student union then :)

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 30/03/2011 12:26

" There are only cubicles in women's loos"

Really - do men sit and do a shit in full view of everyone else then Shock!

Bunnynamedstanely · 30/03/2011 13:04

My husband takes my daughter into the men's loos just as I take my son into the ladies. My daughter (3) understands that men and women are differently shaped and I have no more issue with it than I would have with my son seeing ladies changing at the swimming pool.

Interesting question OP, point 3 in your postwas that ladies toilets are nicer - I agree but if you had a DS instead if a DD would you expect you DH to take a boy into the ladies cos it was nicer?

ImeldaM · 30/03/2011 13:06

Think poster meant that in women's loo's there are only cubicles, ie no urinals and man or boy won't see women doing anything that is 'private', not that the only cubicles are in the womens Grin

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 30/03/2011 13:12

ahhh - I see - had visions of all these men sitting around doing craps while others were using the urinal you just one big happy family Grin

SylvanianFamily · 30/03/2011 13:13

i was in a fancy newbuild school the other day, and they had mixed toilets - a la Ally McBeal. So large open plan room without a door. A dozen or so well enclosed cubicles and big hand washing 'fountain' in the middle.

I read somewhere that mixed sex loos were supposed to reduce bullying. The presence of the opposite sex has a civilizing effect, apparently, reducing the temptation to make nasty personal comments, flush your friend's head down the toilet and such like.

I like it. I think separate loos are an outdated thing tracing back to when women didn;t fart and didn;t sweat (and men couldn't be trusted to aim straight - plus ca change...).

LawrieMarlow · 30/03/2011 13:14

Not sure what DH does if he is with DD. Will have to ask him.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 30/03/2011 13:17

but Sylcanian - male poos STINK - I don't want to go into public toilets that smell like that - it's bad enough having 3 boys at home Grin

MIFLAW · 30/03/2011 13:33

Men's absolutely.

Or disabled.

I am a man and once had to change my (then infant) daughter in a women's toilet in France as (sexist country that it is) that was where the baby change was. Very uncomfortable for all concerned. The next time I insisted they let us use the disabled loo - even though I then had to change her on the floor (on a mat) it still seemed preferable.

tiggyfours · 30/03/2011 13:45

What about she goes into the ladies while he waits outside?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 30/03/2011 13:48

tiggy - that surely depends on the age of the child???

MerryMarigold · 30/03/2011 13:52

Dh is right. I would not feel happy if a man was in the ladies. I would never go into the men's with ds1 (though he is 5) and make him queue for the ladies or else he goes in by himself (which I don't like really, various reasons).

No, he has to take her in men's and hold her 'hovercraft' over the toilet seat.

doireallywant3 · 30/03/2011 14:02

i would go straight for the disabled/babychange loo. men's cubicles are rotten surely!!

Chandon · 30/03/2011 14:07

men's.

I take my boys into the ladies. They survived despite the sign saying "ladies" (poster above said this would upset a child. Nonsense).

Age 6 they go to the mens on their own.

Had a bit of a hairy moment when DS came out all happy, saying men's loos are great as you can wash your hands whilst flushing (put hands in urinals....aaaaaargh) but that was all really.

I would not be impressed by a man in the ladies, even if he was accompanying a small girl.

Same as I would not wander into the mens with a small boy!