Question: Which toilet should a male use when taking DD to the loo??

[Dawnyann]

Hi,

My & my DH are having a dilema over when he takes our DD out on his own and she needs the toilet, should he take her into the ladies or the mens??

I say it should be the ladies for a number of reasons:

1. There won't be any mean standing with their bits out wee'ing up urinals for her to see
2. he can go in cubicle with her
3. Ladies toilets are generally cleaner (and nicer smelling than mens)

He disagrees and says he always takes her in the mens!!

Is there a politically correct answer to this question?? I'd like to hear what other people think on this?

D
x

I would use the disabled loo - I tend to do this when I have my DSs anyway as there is a bit more space etc (and usually no queue - when they need to go, they need to go NOW!!). If I was in the ladies and a man came in with a small child and politely/embarrassedly explained the little girl needed the loo I would not have a problem with it, and would be v.surprised if anyone else did. My DS2 always asks me to take him to the loo when we are out as a family because he says the mens loos are really smelly!

I remember going into the men's toilets with my Dad. And the men's shower blocks when camping.

I'm not scarred for life :)

Although I don't remember any willies. Probably small children don't even notice these things.

It is rare my DH has to take DD to the public toilets now as when he used to (to the mens) she would start having a fit about not being able to use the urinals.

def the mens loo. If the loos employ a male cleaner they have to put up a sign saying so as some women (not me I couldnt care less) would be offended if a man come in without warning. Alot of bigger shopping areas now have family loos

Surely he'd go into the Men's as usual, wouldn't he? Women normally take their young sons into the Ladies with them, it's the same thing.

the men's of course!!
would you take a DS into the Gents?

DH takes DD to the disabled.

To my and everyone else's a man brought his dd into the ladies' swimming pool changing room the other week.

It is a school, but there were teenage girls and adult instructors as well as children getting changed.

The supervisor had to charge in with a puce face and tell him in no uncertain terms that he had to leave immediately. He didn't turn a hair and said he thought it was ok for a man to accompany a daughter. Er... no.

If a disabled toilet is free then I think that should be used when dh is with ur dd alone, i'm sure no one would object, as mens loos on the whole are rather yuk, or cover her eyes ( and her nose) till she is in cubicle in the mens.

For some disabilities, urgency is a feature. Dealing with a puddle because another disabled person required the specialist facilities, and was there first, is one thing. It's hard to remain calm when it is able-bodied people.

Agree with meditrina, I wouldn't use the loo for disabled people unless I (somehow) knew for a fact that I wouldn't be holding up anyone with an actual disability who might need to use it. I'd rather the OP's DH went into the Ladies rather than did that, though as most of us have said he should just use the Men's.

Chandon, I'm not saying a child would object to going in the 'wrong' toilet, I'm saying my particular children have objected when they got to a certain age (older than potty training, younger than .... 6).

I just roll with it. If there is not a baby change (where we'd all go for a family wee), they get to go in whichever one they choose (i.e. Dd into ladies Ds into gents). If we are in the situation where there is not a person of the right sex to accompany (i.e. me and DS, or DH and DD), the adult kind of hovers outside. If the child gets in a muddle then, big deal, the adult knocks and goes in to help.

IME, I've generally only ended up in empty mens toilets. If there is a man in there already, they generally have the wherewithall to pass DS to too-high paper towel, or press the soap dispenser for him or whatever.

I agree it has to be the mens however i have memories of being quite a young girl and being out with my dad and he took me into the mens (to a cubicle obvs) but we had to walk past the urinals with men standing there urinating and it used to really freak me out and upset me!

What is the big deal about a young dd seeing a brief glimpse of another mans willy anyway? Don't think she will be scarred for life seeing men standing at a urinal doing a wee. My DH always takes dd with him into the gents if she needs a wee, although the other day he did manage to stop her just in time from washing her hands in the urinal. We have just explained to her that men have willies so can wee standing up but girls have to sit down to wee. She is pretty disappointed that she can't do a wee standing up though!

Am I alone in not being bothered whether DD catches sight of a stray penis now & again?

ah, cross post - clearly JenAT I am not alone.

Why not use the disabled loo? I use this with my DC as he is terrified of hand driers

dh always took dd to the men's, if out alone with her
started when she was a baby
quite a few have baby changing in men's as well

it does not matter she knows people are different but does not really notice iyswim

• and why can't he can in the cubicle in the men's?

these days dd object to the smell mostly so might go by herself to the ladies with dh standing outside if at all practical

otherwise I see no issue with it at all

Mens definitely. If there is a problem such as only one cubicle and its out of order then the women's (assuming no baby change/family loo).

I think the using women's and announcing oneself loudly is preferable to using the disabled.

It's not a good idea to use the disabled loo, for reasons that we've done to death on here before. There's no problem with a dad taking his daughter into the men's loos - I'm sure many dads do it every day.

Oh my goodness, it's nice to know someone else's DC is scared of hand dryers. DD (2.5) is petrified of them and has to check we have hand gel with us before we go in so she doesn't have to use the hand dryer.

The other point being made about disabled toilets being for disabled people is a good point. However, i am seeing more and more disabled loos being labelled as such plus baby change, which makes it hard for those with babes in arms as you have no choice.

I found it particularly hard when DD was tiny as often I needed a wee and the diabled loo was the only place I could get to with a pram. There was no way I was leaving my 4 week old daughter alone in her pram outside my cubicle whilst I had a wee. So I chose to use the disabled loos.
If there were family loos, i would happily use them. The Traffford centre in Manchester is especially good for these.

disabled toilet would be the best bet .I would not like my small daughter to be taken in to the men's toilet at all

Having cleaned loos in my younger years I just want to correct the assumption that the men's are worse than the women's. IME it is usually the other way round.

why not, annie?