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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Won't poo in a potty/toilet - always in a nappy

120 replies

gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck · 04/02/2011 17:36

My daughter, 2.7, has been wet potty trained for a few months now but refuses to do a poo unless she's wearing a nappy. For half an hour before her lunch sleep I alternate between sitting her on the potty and the toilet while saying that poos like to go in the water and go for a ride when the loo is flushed. She will not produce anything but within 2 mins of having a nappy on and being in bed she's calling out that she's done a poo. I've tried not putting a nappy on her for her sleep but this just stops her sleeping. I've tried not putting her down for a sleep but this just means that she won't poo until she goes to bed at night time which can't be good for her as she obviously needs to go because she spends the day farting! Has anyone found a way to change this or is it something I need to leave and hope it she sorts it out in her own time?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Caz10 · 15/04/2011 17:14

Apparently the minute you turn your back to post on MN about pooing in pants, she will poo in her pants....

HalleLouja · 17/04/2011 11:10

Well today and yesterday DS poo-ed in the potty and initiated it himself. He did it on Weds too but then it all fell apart on Thursday and Friday. So we will see. Hopefully he will start to realise its much nicer to poo in potty than in pants. But am not too hopeful.

Have a friend whose DD still will only poo in a nappy and she is quite past her 4th birthday...... DCs who would have them - she says 30 weeks pregnant.

bebejones · 17/04/2011 16:19

DD has now decided to only poo about once a week it would seem! Although when she decides she needs to go she will do it in the toilet (or potty if upstairs). Not sure why she is holding it in so much This whole situation is getting very tedious!

2sons1hubby · 17/04/2011 19:55

well, it is reassuring to hear other people going through the same thing! I was worried that I'd somehow psychologically damaged him but I think he genuinely doesn't care!

Wormshuffler · 17/04/2011 20:06

I have no words of advise on how to crack this problem, but my DD now 11 did this and ended up holding her poos in until it was forcing it's way out. She doesn't hold them in now but, doesn't feel the urge to poo for several days at a time sometimes 5! as her bowel tubes have stretched and the recepticles that tell you when you want to go are further apart. Her poos are now absolutely eye watering, I have no idea how She parts with them.

girliefriend · 17/04/2011 20:17

I had this problem for nearly a year after dd was dry, eventually after the problem began to cause problems with constipation, she would hold on for so long that even when she got a nappy on she wouldn't be able to go ifswim?!

Spoke to gp and tried movocol and within a few days we had cracked it!!! It was amazing and I wish we had tried it 6 months earlier at least!!!

Once she was on the movocol she just couldn't hold on, I started by putting a nappy in the potty and quickly moved onto tissues, then moved on again to putting tissues down the toilet. Also lots of encouragement, praise and gold stars!!! It also helped once she was sat on the potty/ loo to give her some privacy!!!

Its a real pain but my advice is speak to the gp and see if movocol is an option

bebejones · 17/04/2011 20:35

Girliefriend - I am going to have to do something, will talk to GP. It can't be good for her to hold onto it for 5+ days like she is doing!

bebejones · 19/04/2011 10:41

Bit the bullet & rang the HV!!! She has advised me to monitor the situation for 2 weeks giving DD regular prunes/fruit/oj & if she is still holding on for ages then she will see her.

Wouldn't it be interesting to know what is going through their little brains as to why they won't do it?! DD will now happily poo on the toilet...in her own time! (Which just happens to be when she can't hold it in any longer) This just can't be good for her! I'd rather she was pooing in her knickers than only once a week! It's clearly making her uncomfortable & therefore grumpy & badly behaved (more so than usual )!

HalleLouja · 19/04/2011 11:13

Bebe - In a way I am happy DS will poo in his pants / nappy and not hold it in. As you say it must make them miserable. Children.....

Caz10 · 21/04/2011 17:47

So glad to see this thread still going, when it went quiet I thought everyone's problems were solved!!

Very similar to your situation here bebejones, dd using the toilet or potty for her once every 5 or 6 days poo...sigh...and the day or so before the grand event are hellish because she has a sore tum, is grumpy, and worst of all can't quite hold it in so we get skittery pants. JOY !

bebejones · 21/04/2011 21:09

We had a 2 poo in the toilet day today! Woohoo! And she asked to go both times! Still holding it in though! Same as your DD Caz. She gets so bad tempered & her tummy looks sooooooooo puffy!

Caz10 · 22/04/2011 19:36

Oh asking to go is great!! We are still relying on watching dd like a hawk and taking her to the loo, BUT she will come happily now which is a step forward! Think you've got another week to go now before the next poo?!!

Original poster

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck · 22/04/2011 20:52

Woooohoooooo!!! I have the answer - sit child on 'special seat' on toilet, give child copy of Now, Closer, Heat or similar, leave room and tidy, put clothes away for a few minutes, go back in and ask if the mag was good. The result should be a poo in the toilet!

This was an act of desperation in dh's part. Dd just sat on the loo doing nothing so he decided she was like me and couldn't poo with people around (I have to be in a locked room -pref a bathroom- in my own house with no one within hearing distance) so he gave her a magazine and walked out to count to 10 and regroup. When he went back in the deed had been done. We carried on doing this for a couple of days and now she goes upstairs and calls for us. When we get up there she has a trousers and pants round her ankles, her seat on the loo and is holding 'her' magazine (I think she's on a March issue of Now today) ready to be lifted on. When she's done she waves goodbye as it flushes away, announces "all gone now" and washes her hands.

We are still getting the odd poo in a nappy but the issue of going on the loo has gone .

I hope this is a trend that dd has started and your dcs follow on!

OP posts:

perrinelli · 23/04/2011 07:59

OP, My DD is the same and has just turned 3, she has been ok doing wees in the potty for around six months now but just will not poo in the potty or the toilet. Similarly to what someone else says she can happily tell you that poos go in the toilet and she now will not do them in her pants (pleased not to have to deal with pooey pants anymore), but she just tells me her poo is coming and asks for a pull up, does it standing up (bending over against the edge of the sofa so pressure is on her tummy.....!). She will not do them at nursery and this sometimes means that as soon as she comes through the door she asks for the pull up. A few months ago we decided to take a hard line and wouldn't give her a pull up or pants so she just had a bare bottom, this did work to an extend and forced her to do a few poos in the potty because she didn't want to do them on the floor, but think she found it quite traumatic and it just resulted in her refusing to do them at all, getting a swollen tummy and not going for days! She had got the message from nursery (and probably us) that she shouldn't do them in pants but since she didn't want to do them in te potty decided not to do them at all. This was awful so we really encouraged her that it was better to do them in the pull up than not at all.

Since then we have left her until she is ready as the current arrangement is not really stressful for her or us. When she turned 3 we were going to try getting tough again and saying we'd run out of pullups but when we tried her overnight she wasn't at all ready in terms of the wees. I also thought is was unfair as she had shown no signs of being any more ready. I'm afraid if we force it again that she will hold them in again.

Anyway, I think we are going to leave things for the moment. If she becomes dry at night then we might try saying that we've run out of pullups and see what happens, or if she still hasn't cracked it by the time she's 4, will seek professional advice but I hope she'll get over it in her own time.

So my advice would be not to try forcing it, or if you're really worried about it try going for it once, but be prepared to back track if they are clearly not ready. And also try to do it in a way that doesn't run the risk of damaging self esteem if they don't succeed.

HalleLouja · 27/04/2011 18:24

Well after a couple of successful days we went back to square one. But the last couple of days he has told us he needs to do a poo and done them on the potty. No hassle. So just playing it by ear - maybe he will do it by himself. He did look chuffed with himself yesterday. Bless him.

bebejones · 01/05/2011 21:38

I really think not even mentioning poo was the key for us. I think the pressure was too much for DD, she got there in the end in her own time. Plus all the stuff about not being cross about pooey pants didn't work. I took a calm approach but made it clear to her it wasn't a good thing, rather than 'Oh well, never mind, maybe next time' etc.

Think we have cracked it here. DD has a nice collection of toy cars now! :o We have moved onto sticker charts and the deal was a sticker for a poo in the toilet & a present of her choice when she got 5 stickers. In less than aweek she got 7 stickers! 3 in one day!!

Hang in there everyone. I didn't think we were going to crack this but got there in the end!

Original poster

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck · 04/05/2011 21:17

Dd is still pumping them out into the loo!! It's so exciting to hear that telltale 'plip' ! I've only had to bribe her once with one chocolate mini egg so far so fingers crossed this a lifelong decision she's made!

OP posts:

bebejones · 05/05/2011 09:58

lol at 'lifelong decision'! :o

TeachMySelfBalance · 08/05/2011 23:02

My dd is 3.2. She does very well with pee but will poo anywhere except the potty/loo. She did do it once and I did all the celebrations, etc but she has not once since. If she is bare bottom, she'll just lay one down on the floor/ground where ever she is(my teen about puked-life of a mom ). She'll poo in the tub, too. She does go off for privacy behind a big chair or into the kitchen, or into another room. I'll try the magazine/privacy strategy with her. Thanks.

TettyLouBar · 09/05/2011 21:06

Hi all,
for those looking for "poo goes to pooland" story to read to the LO. Here it is!
Ive just printed it off to read to DD (2.11) in the morning after having a nightmare day of trying to convince her to poo on toilet/potty. She was so upset she went to bed without pooing and I feel just awful for her. (Day 5 of training and weeing wasn't an issue whatsoever)
Hope this helps somebody. Apologies if I'm duplicating somebody else who has already posted the link but I read back on one of the first pages of this thread that people were looking for the link to the story

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