Won't poo in a potty/toilet - always in a nappy

[gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck]

My daughter, 2.7, has been wet potty trained for a few months now but refuses to do a poo unless she's wearing a nappy. For half an hour before her lunch sleep I alternate between sitting her on the potty and the toilet while saying that poos like to go in the water and go for a ride when the loo is flushed. She will not produce anything but within 2 mins of having a nappy on and being in bed she's calling out that she's done a poo. I've tried not putting a nappy on her for her sleep but this just stops her sleeping. I've tried not putting her down for a sleep but this just means that she won't poo until she goes to bed at night time which can't be good for her as she obviously needs to go because she spends the day farting! Has anyone found a way to change this or is it something I need to leave and hope it she sorts it out in her own time?

We had a few poo issues when we did potty training at the same age.

My DD wouldn't poo. My first reaction would be to leave the nappy off for naps but you have already tried that.

When she poos in her nappy, do you tell her big girls do it in the toilet? It might be a good idea to take the poo out of the nappy and put it in the toilet to show her where it is meant to go.

To get my DD to poo on the potty I ended up sitting her on it when she needed to go and doing drawings or reading a book and she would forget about needing the poo and just do it. Then I threw a mini party in the same manner when you praised the wee when you first started the training.

I have heard of "Poo goes to Pooland" is a good thing to read too.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I've tried everything I can think of. I've told her that her nappies don't like poos so they should go in the big girl toilet and then tipping it in. I've had her on the potty for stories etc. I've shown her when her brother does a poo on the toilet and made a big deal of how good it is. I've taken her potty into her bedroom and gone back in 2 minutes after leaving her and sitting her on it but she just won't do it. I think the problem stems from (and I'm clutching at straws here) her current phase of everything having to be pretty. When she did do a poo on the potty a couple of months ago we did the big celebration bit but she was horrified by it and just stood there shaking and crying while I was hugging her. I guess her poo just wasn't pretty enough ! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that like everything else, this is just a phase but 3 months on and it's getting frustrating!

I wouldn't worry about it to be honest. DS was like this for a few months and he was well over 3 when he decided to use the toilet. Why not just put a nappy on her for a few minutes during the day and save all the aggravation, I'm sure she will grow out of it soon.

This is a very common problem. Lots of children do this because they are afraid of the sensation of the poo falling away from them.

Give this a try: Lie a clean nappy across the potty, then get her to sit on this to do a poo. This way, at least you have cracked the being sat on the potty bit, keep doing it until you've reached the stage where she will happily do a poo in the potty, then take the nappies away.

Thanks somersetmum. I hadn't thought of that and it sounds like it could work. I'll give it a go over the next few days and see how she does.

My dd is similar - we've cracked wees - she's even dry at night but she still poos her pants - I refuse to go back to nappies as I feel it would be a backward step.

I don't think she knows she's doing a poo - she happily waves her poo off down the toilet 'back to its friends mummy' and will tell me that poos go in the toilet and not in her pants... but nothing in practice.
I'm getting really fed up with cleaning pooy pants.. [bleugh]

Well, the nappy in the potty didn't work and we are now having a poo in the morning in her nappy when she gets up, a poo in her nappy during her lunchtime nap and a poo in her nappy when she goes to bed. It's doing my head in - we're using more nappies than we were before we potty trained her!

If you come up with a solution scrappy i'm all ears!!

We had this problem with my ds. At first he would only poo standing up wearing his nappy. I encouraged him to sit on the toilet with his nappy on as I wanted to get him in the 'right position'. I also cleaned him in the bathroom as well so that he would get the idea that it all belonged in the bathroom.
Once he was happy sitting on the toilet in his nappy, I started cutting holes in the bottom of his nappy so that the poo would fall into the toilet. He still felt comforted as he was wearing a nappy even though the poo was going straight into the toilet. After a few weeks of this he decided to get rid of his nappies. The bribery of a scooter helped as well!
It did take us a while but we have finally ditched the nappies.
Hope this helps.

I'll give it a go - I'll give anything a go at the moment! She's now decided that she won't poo at all while she's at nursery so that's 3 days a week where she won't poo until she goes to bed in the evening. Grrrr. Ds was so easy!!

Poo goes home to Pooland - print this out and read it with her. Our son was terrified of pooing in the toilet/potty and we had months of stress over it, but this booklet sorted it out literally overnight! He was fascinated, made me read it to him three times before bed the night I downloaded it and did his first poo in the potty the next day, and we've not had a single poo accident since. I was massively sceptical about the people on here who raved about it but it worked like a charm for us.

DS decided he wanted to use the loo at 2.5 years-8 months ago. He did one poo in the loo day 3 and has not done one since. He can tell you what he should do but goes quiet when a poo is coming and if you offer the loo or toilet he freaks. I've tried positive re-inforcement, I've given up for a few months and left him in nappies. I've let him chose. And now I've put my foot down-and it goes on. He can actually do a wee in on the loo and half an hour later gets shifty and does a poo with no wee in his pants..then gets upset. Spoken to HS and she said I've done everything I could.
Should I be asking for a referral from the GP? It's becoming a huge source of upset-not just for him-I'm frustrated beyond belief.
Has anyone got any ideas?

DD 3 is another reluctant pooer - but what I am finding more stressful is the knock-on effect of her holding them in- she is getting constipated, sore tummies etc, very distressing all round. We have given up on PT a few times before this, because of the poo issue, but I am determined not to give up this time!

Is anyone else's LO suffering in the same way? She was doing quite well in pants last week, but was going to nursery for a couple of hours each day wearing pull-ups as she wasn't 100% yet, however all this meant for the poor nursery staff was that she was saving her massive poo for nursery! Nappies have been off full time since Friday, and she hasn't pooed in 2 full days! Gaarrr!

Yup, another one here. No problem with the idea of a potty or the loo but DS, 2.3 just prefers to stand to poo/wee. He really wants to poo on the potty but he can't get the hang of pushing in a sitting position. Cue much frustration, holding it in (he has amazing bowel and bladder control), grumpiness and finally a request for a nappy. At which point he finally let's go of a day's worth of wee/poo. Arrrgh. Tips for making the change from standing to sitting gratefully received!

Interesting, I hadn't thought that the sitting part was part of the problem but now that you say it it does make sense! Dd always stands up to do one in her nappy. She is now on day 3, I am despairing and she funnily enough has a sore tum!

I was thinking that about the sitting/standing. Dd is still waiting to have a nappy on to do a poo and will go a couple of days without going at all and getting sore. It's driving me mad still but now she's decided to 'forget' to go to the loo for wees despite having a near 100% success rate for the last 2 months. I swear it's because she knows we're going to stay at my mum's who has lovely cream carpet

Just found this thread and so pleased to have found that I/we are not 'alone'!

DD is 2.6 and is nearly 100% dry during the day. (Still needs reminding to go to the loo!) The first few days of PT she did poos on the toilet (This was about 3 weeks ago) but now she has decided to do them in her pants, she will not use a potty & will only go on the toilet. She doesn't always poo at the same time of day so it's really difficult to catch her when she is about to go. She used to hide behind the door or curtain, but has since got wise to the fact that we used to put her on the toilet as soon as she did that! She knows when she needs to poo, and knows what she has done, she also tells me that poos go in the toilet. We have tried bribery, and putting the poo in the toilet to show her. But at the mere suggestion that she might like to go & try & poo on the toilet results in hysterics. Am at my wits end! She is bright & fiercely stubborn & strong willed. The only thing she has said is that she doesn't like it when the poo 'splashes' in the toilet! Not really sure how to convince her to use the toilet instead of pooing on Peppa Pig (on her knickers) again & again!

This is exactly the problem we are having at the moment. DS 2.8 can manage to be dry all day and tells us when he needs the toilet for a wee. We have been able to venture out the house and he is happy to wee on other toilets but the second we get home he does a poo in his pants! I think i'll try some of the ideas here.

Bebejones, re the splashing, someone on here told me once to put toilet paper down first! Getting them to sit on the loo in the first place though...aaarg!

I told her I would do that to stop splashing but she still won't sit on there! Not sure she beleieves me!

I know this is probably frowned upon, but ds was a bit reluctant to potty train ( kept sayin. "I love my nappy") but I decided enough was enough an after a while I decided to make the potty more attractive using chocolate buttons. So I managed to get some pants on him after much protesting, and started asking him if he needed a wee or a poo. Wees were fine so didn't bother with the chocs but he seemed really reluctant to poo so I kept reminding him there would be a treat and eventually he did one. Three weeks on he's never had an accident, and as we only had a small packet of chocs I just showed him it and said "they're all gone now" and he doesn't ask. In fact at five this morning he trotted in telling me to take his nappy off so he could poo in the loo, then once he'd done it he asked to go back to bed again. Anyway, what I'm saying is that bribery can be effective and won't lead to a lifetime of choccies after a poo!

You're right washandgo, Dd i think has pretty much mastered the pee thing and has stopped asking for a treat, only took about a fortnight! Still asks after the rare occasion she manages a poo though, must be a bigger deal in her head!

My DD has also stopped requesting a treat for every wee so it must be sinking in! Tried bribing her for poos, even have a special box with some small toys & milkways just for poos. But she says she doesn't want a 'special treat'! So it isn't working, if I think she needs to go I take her & then she refuses to do it! On the plus side she hasn't had a wee in her knickers in over a week!

DS1 was exactly like OP's DD - I took to letting him sit on his potty in the bathroom for a few minutes after bathtime but before bedtime each night (and read him the Poo goes to Pooland book) but he just wouldnt poo. Then one day, the front door rang and I had to nip downstairs for a few minutes leaving him on the potty on his own - and came back to discover he'd done a poo. Made a huge fuss about how clever he was, had extra bedtime story to celebrate, did a ceremonial flushing of the poo (which he called Mr Poo) down the loo and it seemed to be cracked all of a sudden. Squatting on a potty seemed to help him - as did no one being in the room (he used to tell me to go away and take a book and he'd call when he had done his poo )...

We are only on day 4 of PT but days 3 and 4 have been accident free, all wees and poos in the potty, I wrapped 3 matchbox type cars up for DS (2.7mths) and said they were special poo presents, for when he does big poos in the potty, they were brightly wrapped with ribbon and bows and left where he could see them but not reach. Dunno if success will continue but at under a quid a day I'm happy to carry on for a couple of weeks to get the poo habit established and then move to a weekly reward for no accidents and then phase out.

Garrr we are back onto day 3 of no pooing, where/how can she keep it in for this long?!

Love the poo presents idea!