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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Won't poo in a potty/toilet - always in a nappy

120 replies

gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck · 04/02/2011 17:36

My daughter, 2.7, has been wet potty trained for a few months now but refuses to do a poo unless she's wearing a nappy. For half an hour before her lunch sleep I alternate between sitting her on the potty and the toilet while saying that poos like to go in the water and go for a ride when the loo is flushed. She will not produce anything but within 2 mins of having a nappy on and being in bed she's calling out that she's done a poo. I've tried not putting a nappy on her for her sleep but this just stops her sleeping. I've tried not putting her down for a sleep but this just means that she won't poo until she goes to bed at night time which can't be good for her as she obviously needs to go because she spends the day farting! Has anyone found a way to change this or is it something I need to leave and hope it she sorts it out in her own time?

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bebejones · 28/03/2011 17:27

How is everyone doing? Has been a quiet weekend so is that a good or a bad sign?

We had a sort of success yesterday while at PILs. I'm not asking her at all to poo anymore, and she is initiating it. Accidents I can deal with...her holding it in & screaming about going I'm not so good at!

Caz10 · 29/03/2011 17:59

Bebejones that is EXACTLY it! Genuine accidents are totally fine, don't have an issue with the mess etc. But Dd gets so screechy and denies it, aaaargh! I have days where I can go with it and not ask her, but when I see her dancing and clutching and not asking to go it drives me mad!! We are back on the lactulose after seeing the gp, the holding it in is really giving her trouble Sad

bebejones · 29/03/2011 20:10

I luckily had some lactulose from a few months back when DD didn't go for 6 days!! Shock And that was when she was in nappies! Hmm

Hang in there Caz! It sounds like our DDs are having very similar issues!

Multimum77 · 30/03/2011 08:48

Is it just me or are girls easier to potty train? Had no problem with my DDs but my DSs have been another matter altogether. My baby DS is 2.5 and speaks really well. He can tell me all the "potty rules", what he should and shouldn't do but then doesn't do it. I'm actually beyond frustrated right now! I've tried stars, gifts and all sorts of positive reinforcement. He's just not interested!!!

bebejones · 30/03/2011 11:32

I only have a DD so I don't know! Wees have been fine....poos have been awful. Same as your DS Multimum, she speaks really well, knows what she is supposed to do & nothing has worked!! I'm just not mentioning it & seeing if she initiates it on her own...it was working, although she hasn't been since Sunday! Hmm

scrappydappydoo · 30/03/2011 11:59

Well we seem to be back on even keel again - doing wees but not pooing - although she deliberately weed on her slide the day and was paddling in it Angry. I asked why she did it and she just said 'because' sigh, 3 going on 13...

skinmysunshine · 30/03/2011 12:16

Gosh I'm so glad I found this thread - same problem here with DD 2.7. She is so good with wees now but will not poo. Will try the pooland book tongight.

Caz10 · 30/03/2011 21:08

Dd keeps acting out scenes with her toys where they poo on the toilet and get a huge fuss made over them and get "chocolate treats"! So why is she not doing it?!! Pooed her pants literally one minute after a very elaborate game involving the playmobil boy pooing in the campervan loo and getting big hugs from his playmobil mummy!! Garrrr

bebejones · 30/03/2011 21:18

DD does that too! Just don't understand how she can know what to do (& know that she will get treats) & yet not want to do it?!

This evening I put her to bed & didn't hear her shouting that she needed a poo (I was in the kitchen). By the time I'd got to her she had mostly gone in her nappy (she said she was sorry :() but she did ask to sit on the toilet to 'do more poo', so stuck her on the potty in her room & she oblidged & was thrilled! Hmm

SO she hadn't been since Sunday, & I hadn't asked her to go & she went of her own accord & was compliant! It may take longer, but at least we haven't had tantrums about it!

Hang in there everyone!

SingingBear · 30/03/2011 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HalleLouja · 04/04/2011 12:49

Can I join you? The last week - give or take a few accidents DS has been fine with wees. Poos no chance. Have been training on and off since xmas and there was one day he did 3 poos in a row (on a potty) and a couple of other days he has done them in the potty. But on the whole its been when the nappy goes on for naps / bed that or just in pants. He must know he is doing a poo as he hides away and goes quiet. He did used to tell me "poos coming". The only person who seems distressed is me. He seems ok and not too stressed.

Not sure what to do but its "nice" to find some other people having issues. Part of me thinks I should ignore it as he has only been in pants properly for a short time and I don't want to create an issue but on the other hand...... HELP!!!

bebejones · 04/04/2011 15:51

Halle - sounds very familiar!! Hang in there! I was really despairing of DD ever doing a poo in the potty/toilet. But after getting very stressed about it she seems to be sorting herself out!

As she's taking more initiative to go to the toilet (rather than being prompted) I think the penny might be dropping! Last week she pooed in the potty without being asked, she just said she needed to go. And we have had our first one in the toilet (since the very early days) yesterday. She just suddenly said 'I need a poo, can I do it in the toilet?'. Not asking her all the time has really helped! Plus the chocolate & present she gets play a part! Hmm

Caz10 · 06/04/2011 22:24

Oh great news bebjones! We are not there yet, but probably haven't been trying for as long as you, so our time may still come!
Any poo in potty/toilet success we have had has been if I spot the signs and plonk DD on, but most of the time I don't spot it or have been out the room etc.
Very tired of pooey pants!
Halleluja, I wish I could help, lol!

Original poster
gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck · 08/04/2011 11:40

Hello, sorry I've not been around but I've been busy giving up smoking and not thinking about much else really!

Dd did a poo in the toilet the other day but only because she was in the bath, clutched her bum and shouted "Oh no, bottom!" I whipped her out and sat her on the loo but she was hysterical. I think it genuinely scares her. We made a massive fuss of her and praised her but she was not happy with the situation. I'm still trying not to stress about it and when she does a poo in her nappy I just tell her that it would have been better if it had gone in the toilet, clean her up and put her back in bed.

I wish I had some advice for you all but I'm going nowhere fast with this one!

OP posts:
ScroobiousPip · 08/04/2011 11:54

Hi all, I posted up at the beginning of this thread about DS only pooing standing up in a nappy. A couple of weeks ago, we went cold turkey on nappies and let him run round naked instead. He did one poo on the front door step (nice, I know) and then the next one he kind of 'got it' and has done them on the loo ever since.

We found that taking the training seat off the loo really helped - DS holds himself up with his hands and I think that means he can push better. Now he will use the training seat too - it's just been a skill he needed to get his head around, I think. A bit like learning to push when giving birth!

Good luck.

ScroobiousPip · 08/04/2011 11:56

Oops, forgot to add that the promise of an ice lolly if he did a poo on the loo seemed to do wonders for the first few times. Blush

scrappydappydoo · 08/04/2011 13:01

I'm still here clearing up the pooey pants. No poos on potty or toilet at all. I thought we had a breakthrough the other day when she went for 3 days pooing just after putting her in her night time nappy but no - not to be. She has about 1 wee accident a day at the moment. Playgroup are being VERY patient and understanding!

bebejones · 08/04/2011 13:51

DD isn't going every day, but she will go on the toilet or potty now when she needs to go Not asking her really worked. She is still getting a treat/present when she goes in potty/toilet. Going to try phasing it out soon.

Last night she shouted down the stairs at about 8.30 that she needed to poo on the toilet, even though she was in a nappy. So it must be sinking in. She only seems to have accidents when she is too engrossed in something to realise she needs to go. She starts pre-school on 6th May so hoping she gets better at asking to go!

Keep going everyone. I never thought it would be this difficult, but we are getting there so that is proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel for you all! :)

Caz10 · 08/04/2011 20:30

Good news!! Do you think it was the bribery that finally did it??

Gooseberrybushes · 08/04/2011 20:33

Is the problem solved?

Can you bribe her or leave her on the potty for ages in front of the telly?

Gooseberrybushes · 08/04/2011 20:34

oh ho tis resolved

hurrah for bribery and corruption

bebejones · 08/04/2011 21:00

The bribery helps, but mainly it was her making the decision to that she wanted to do it in the toilet that made the difference. After she pooed on the potty (after not going for ages) and had a good look at the poo Hmm she declared that 'Poos aren't scary, just a bit silly' & she seems to have been better ever since.

Original poster
gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck · 14/04/2011 18:36

Hello all, we've had 2 evenings in a row where dd has started to do a poo in the bath. We've hauled her out and sat her on the loo and the poo has ended up in the right place. This evening we sat her on the toilet and told her to squeeze some poo out. So she did. Just like that. Months of showing her how to to poo, making straining noises while she sits on the loo, tearing my hair out at each poo in a fresh clean nappy, and eventually accepting that she will be wearing a nappy to her graduation and she just does it. I'm so bollockingly happy!! Smile

OP posts:
2sons1hubby · 15/04/2011 13:42

ARRRGGGH!
I'm new to this thread and I'm totally fed up of pooey pants. My DS has been weeing in potty and dry at night for 2 months but he WILL NOT poo in potty or toilet. He actually refuses and goes away to poo in his pants when I'm not concentrating on him. I've got no idea at alll what to do now.
Any ideas? My DH is getting fed up and when he is around I think he is pressuring DS too much, but on the other hand neither of us seem to be making any progress.

Caz10 · 15/04/2011 16:11

No advice just sympathy, we are exactly the same 2sons, the pooey pants are VERY wearing! And dd does the same, does it the minute your back is turned! The poo fairy actually came to our house today (yes I am desperate!) and there is now a little box of (cheap plastic crap) presents waiting for dd if she ever puts it in the loo!!