I believe my baby is going to die.

[Vix190]

I have a fear that my baby is going to die. It's a fear that is going round and round in my head and that I can't get rid of it. I sit and stare at him and all I can do is cry because I'm so scared. I didn't think I'd make it to term with him and now he's here I think of all the things that could take his life - RSV, neonatal herpes, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I'm terrified and all I want is for a doctor to check him over daily. Ive contacted my local medical centre for help (for me) but I have to wait 5 days. I'm so scared I sometimes can't breathe.

can you have a chat with your midwife or HV? If your baby is unwell then this needs to be addressed, and if it’s you who’s unwell then this needs to be addressed. Have you got anyone you can talk to IRL? It sounds like things are really tough for you right now.

Oh love, that's so sad to read. If baby isn't ill, then your anxiety is the problem and it's a pity you have to wait 5 days to be seen.

Meanwhile, can you get something like Kalms from a chemist, it might help a bit.

Babies are very resilient little creatures, they just need food, shelter and love, and you are providing all these things. Sending hugs.

I had that too, only I also believed I was going to die. I was greatly helped by Mirtazapine.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you're scared. I'm old enough to be your mum and would give you a hug if I could.

Some of what you're feeling is normal. Some sounds a bit excessive, but you're seeking help which is the important thing.

All mums worry, but if it helps, statistically the chances have never been higher for a child born today to have a long, healthy life. Medical advances, safety devices (car seats, etc.) make childhood the safest it has ever been in developed countries. The odds are overwhelming that your beautiful boy will be fine.

You need help and you need it now.
Talk to your GP totally honestly in 5 days time and accept whatever they give you, even if you don't want it.
Is there someone else with you to care for your baby, like a partner?

@Vix190, you're the one who needs help here, not your baby. Your baby is fine. Your anxieties are completely understandable and not uncommon in the postnatal phase. I was so paranoid that someone was going to steal or harm my baby in the hospital that I sat up holding him through the first night after he was born, and wheeled his cot into the loo when I had my first shower, and kept my hand on it. He's now 12 and a healthy, maddening, beautiful boy.

I'd phone your midwife asap and access what help you can. Be very clear that it's for you, not for your baby. Best wishes.

You need urgent help and probably medication for your anxiety. Please speak to your health visitor or midwife ASAP

I ate that is you that needs the help, not your gorgeous little baby. There is nothing to be ashamed about, after I gave birth my hormones were all over the place and I was almost hospitalised due to my mental Health nose diving into the gutter. I was convinced that my baby would be better off without me. It wasn't true. But medication and counselling soon sorted me out.

Please speak to someone close to you today. All mums have moments when they think the worst but they are fleeting thoughts. You sound as though anxiety has taken hold. Try phoning your medical centre and explaining you need to see someone right now. Be honest with them on the phone..

It's easier said than done but don't worry, everything is fine.
I was similar when my baby was first born, he still wears his owlet sock now on a night for monitoring all his levels as I was so scared about SIDS too. I do think maybe some anxiety treatment may help you though definitely speak to someone or I'm always here for a chat too if you need anything or need to get anything off your chest!x

Check out post-partum psychosis, sounds a bit like it.

It’s post partum anxiety. I had it - with mine I was convinced my newborn would somehow fall out of the bedroom window or down the stairs, etc. Please contact your midwife today.

Sending you love
I also had this for about 18 months, it was the worst time of my life. I understand your fear. Don’t keep it in, speak to somebody xxx

I had horrendous postnatal anxiety with both my DC. I'm a relatively anxious person anyway but the hormones, lack of sleep and overwhelming love and responsibility for these little people almost killed me. The OCD risk assessing and intrusive thoughts I had when mine were babies feel, looking back now, like an acid trip gone horrifically wrong.

You definitely need help OP and it most likely needs to be of the medication variety as well as possibly talking therapies too. Meds are perfect for acute, short term mental health issues like you're struggling with right now.

I agree you really need help. How old is your little one? Are you still under the care of the midwives? If so please contact them.

An Owlet might help you in the meantime because it will alert you if your baby's heart rate drops. But it is no substitute for proper support for you.

Lorazepam is very good for acute post partum anxiety - I needed it after the birth of my child but I did have to beg for it unfortunately as I was breastfeeding which shouldn’t have been an issue really!

If you feel you are unable to wait 5 days to speak to your GP then you could call your health visitor/midwife or you could call 111 and press option 2 for urgent mental heath support. Both of these avenues should be able to provide you with more urgent access to peri-natal mental health support.

Have you spoken to the perinatal mental health team? They may be able to help you quicker, and will be more knowledgeable in this area than your GP.

It will be ok OP.

How old is your baby? Have they had any health scares/been unwell so far?

💐

You need help urgently, if this becomes PPP then both of you could be in trouble. Ring your GP/HV/MW now and explain how desperate you feel so not leave it for over the weekend.

Homestart are a charity that can help with general day-to-day baby related things and take some pressure of you to help you mentally and physically heal.

Please phone the GP and the labour ward urgently and ask about their urgent postnatal mental health support or better yet get someone close to you to do so and explain they think you have postpartum psychosis and need urgent support. If all else fails head for the local A and E who will have a psychiatrist on call 24/7 and will support you and get you on appropriate medication. This is urgent as this can spiral out of control really quickly and women can do some very dangerous things when gripped by it.

You have taken the first step - writing it down here. WELL DONE YOU.
Next step - speak to someone irl.

Your clearly a lot stronger than you think or you would not be here... sharing... asking for help...

WELL DONE YOU x

OP, 111 option 2 mental health is brilliant if you need to talk to someone before you see your GP. They may also be able to put you in touch with mental health professionals before you see your GP if that’s appropriate. They’ve been wonderful with me in the past.

Lots of useful post already - I concur that you should try other options than the GP.

So, just sending you a big hug. It'll get better.

I also think you need urgent medical advice does your area have a crisis team. When I was Bern seen by the perinatal mental health team they told me to call crisis team if out of hours.