FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Re: diet + keep fit. Went to the gym yesterday to transfer jailbait's membership in to my name - they said they won't do it. I asked if they had an specials on right now as I'm not paying joining fee - she reckoned when uni term starts... but I want to get diffed again at xmas and don't want a membership I feel too shit to use. :( Anyway... being as I had a problem catching the nag yesterday to the extent that I rubbed my ankle red raw and weeping with blisters chasing the fucking sausage-bound creature around the field for 25 minutes - so not sure I need a gym membership as such!

switty Well done with commune! Once we've been up to Amsterdam for papers then we can consider Paris for the passport. Not that you'll have to go through that bollocks - but for us Brits the passport office for BE/NL and FR is now in Paris. I'm going to send it by registered mail and hope for the best.

ski Yes, you've described the feeling exactly. We'll get over this, won't we? Perhaps around 2030?

That's really annoying about the gym membership Ski. Maybe you/jailbait could try and make an appointment to talk to the manager or something? They usually have way more flexibility than they let on. I was in a really binding contract at my gym that ran anually and could only be ended by registered letter three months before the expiry date etc. (all in the contract - date was long past and contract had renewed automatically). I went in to see the manager, once it became clear that training for the 20km and doing high impact body attack were definitely off the menu for the foreseeable. He had me write a small explanatory note on the spot and ended the contract immediately, so that I was charged for one month and not for another year. I know it's not the same: but they can bend the rules when they want to. He specifically told me that he was looking forward to seeing me back after the baby etc...

And thanks for the commune congrats :) I do feel very proud.

switty I may well try calling their head office - the thing is, I actually want to upgrade his membership as he hasn't got the classes - so by simply changing the name on their database they'd get mo money!

I can haz child benefit? Spewing out offspring here won't make you rich. Here, your child falls in to a quarterly birth pool. Bear arrived 20 hours too late for Q2. So I fall in to Q3 being as he was born July 1st. However, CB paid quarterly in arrears so I won't see any CB until 1st Jan! Good job is not reckoning on CB changing life! I can spend CB on gluwein in Austrian ski hut?

One luminescent green poo a day (umpteen yellow ones too). What can this mean?

I sepnt £22 on a babygro the other day. I'm fucking menkul ain't I...

Green poo means social services are on their way. No, seriously, it's not good so stick a thermometer up his bum and keep an aye on him. Probably just something funky you ate.

22? amateur according to honeymoo, Patron Saint of Shopping.

I'm loving ebay. Outfit for 99p madame?

cunty best to get checked but i think only bad news if very green. Squeaks has green to some degree most of time but overall colour usually more yellow or brown and HV gave the all clear to a mixed bag poonami last week.

Dog is very much over this baby. She wants all the cuddles and sofa space and feels v sorry for herself.

I, on the other hand, am loving the good morning smiles, and the unexpected litte grin when I re-swaddle her at 4am

hi all... apols for failure to post.... baby always needing holding or somesuch....

Am considering expressing... do you lot think is worth it and any pump or bottle recommendations? I have to be honest and say am not really looking forward to it... but piglet will be 5 weeks on sun and am thinking i should try to do it by 6 weeks just to see if it will work for us?

hope you are all ok? you must be far more organised than i am cos i never seem to have time to use the computer....

piglet is currently wriggling madly as i try to type this!

Medela spring seems to have hit the spot for curly and I. You can rent the hospital grade double pump Medela for pennies if you're not sure it's going to be your thing. One-handed typing iggy...

I've now washed, sterilised and packed my pump away - as I suspected, absolutely no problems have arisen with swollen, milk-laden boobs.

I've just been out for coffee with some friends at the garden centre. Bear is today for the first time in a "proper" outfit which I'd bought in Newcastle when I met cossie and carrots and it fits him now. Am off to the stables after lunch as jailbait wants to ride again, possibly skiing tomorrow and then out with the girls tomorrow night. I am looking forward to that for the lamest reason of all... I'm going to go by bike! For the first time in "forevah" I can... I don't need to take the car for mobility reasons and I can get rip-roaring drunk if needs be!

am one handed typing now... for once she is dozing!

ski thanks for that - I had been looking at the medela swing online. v. jealous of your horse activities...

now tell me - is it just my baby - or are they all a bit screamy?!

iggy, as ski says, the medela swing was great for me, and recommended by MW. Mine now packed up too. (will lend if you want).

Bottles wise, the medela comes with a wee one which is good for the odd expressed feed. If you are going to be doing more bottle feeding or if baby has any wind problems etc, it might be worth having a go with the Dr Brown's bottles. Go straight to the 240ml ones though, cause the little ones won't last long!

Mind you, a lot of sterilisers come with a bottle or two. And you'll need one of them for the pump parts. Hospital just used basic one with Milton in it. We have this TT one but the on light has already broken and the base plate seems messy. Works though, but I'm glad we didn't pay full price (sale at Mothercare) because I don't think it's worth it.

Glad you managed to visit - things will settle. I usually tend to be on here when I am feeding, but am online a lot more since starting a web based diet. I have to track everything.

I am heading north next week on my own. five-six hours' drive, and one cross-country day visit. It's going to be interesting.

x-post - took me so long to type. Yes, they are a bit screamy, particularly in the evenings, I find. But they are so easy to forgive...

Because of my pathetic quanities of milk, I used to express in to the medela bottle then decant it in to a "spare" bottle which he didn't like and bung it in the fridge. I'd then top this up each time I expressed - I was told it can be kept in the fridge for 72 hours. Anyway, when feeding this I would put this bottle in the microwave to heat because the fat would stick to the sides of the bottle when chilled and obviously you don't want to lose this, so I'd warm it up and melt it and then decant it in to a third bottle (usually Dr. Brown, although we've found a new favourite now).

I'm very happy with the Philips microwave steriliser we picked up in Asda for a tenner. It really couldn't be simpler, no wires, no plugs and it's all done in 6 minutes.

Bear screamed with evening colic until we really got the hang of winding...

iggy If you can get the hand of expressing then you'll be back in the saddle soon enough with your husband able to take over! :)

Hi iggles! I've got a relatively non-screamy one this time, though he is a fan of the limpet technique, i.e. 'I am fast asleep on you Mummy but don't you dare try to put me down or I'll be wide awake again', hence even having a shower is a trial. One handed typing here also.

Expressing - I am a fan of the Ameda lactaline. I just started about a week ago and am putting the expressed milk into the little milk storage bags either in the fridge or freezer depending on when we intend to use it.

thanks all for the suggestions! didnt even think about a sterilizer! so much to buy....

I have a screamy limpet... although, like ski, i haz now perfected my winding technique and the evenings are less mental.

but i have nothing to compare with - i cant tell if i haz screamier than usual or just normal baby... but most of the time she screams at any time of day - or she is feeding.. or sleeping... those are the three states... and the sleeping one can be elusive...

cas you are right - i'd forgive her anything cos she is totally gorgeous

now that we've heard the feverish post-jabs screech, we know all the other screams are "normal". sure you'd be able to tell if something actually wrong, iggs.

bad typing cos Squeaks has swung from miss independent to limpet. and dad's chest is not good enough

did i kill fred?

You didn't kill fred!!

With the screaming, I don't mean that I think she isn't well, I just wonder where we are on the scale with the amount she cries? So clearly some babies will be quiet and some really noisy, but is mine average or screamier than average . I have no benchmark you see!

I don't mind most of the time, but it can get a bit wearing when you know she is fed, changed, not too hot or cold, being cuddled etc... And she just screams... And I don't know why... Most frustrating for someone like me that likes to fix things for people!

I usually end up shoving my tit in her face... Sometimes it works as a kind of human pacifier... Sometimes it doesn't...

Got jabs today Hom off work so may take him too for moral support . Will also enquire re green poos. Doesn't seem like there's anything amiss though - he could give the Queen's bugler a run for his money but he's always been like that

Back from holibobs now so am in a Bad Mood. 7 hour trip involving 2 service station feeds. Don't set yourself a time limit cas, then you won't get stressed...

shoving tit in face seems like a good fix to me iggs

(we haven't had any of that for ages!)

hear, hear re tit in face. Sometimes wish I could still do that. dummy just not the same...

I find the level of screaming changes week to week iggs. This week it is mainly an hour in the evenings, but she has been mardy this morning, until I discovered she is simply having a hungry day. Breakfast has been ongoing since 7am, with two refills of the bottle. Another reason I wish I could shove a tit in here face But she has just dozed off with a smile on her face, so I am assuming she is finally full. Greedy little fatty.

Today I am mostly fancying a new car. KA isn't really mummy-friendly. But a BMW X5 isn't quite within my price range...

True cossie, we need more gropeage! Although is you grab too hard you will also geta lovely milk shower... Nice!

cunts how was the holiday? And I don't want to take mine for jabs either

Hol was lush iggs ta. Collected a bundle of newly made stuff from his nana, and may 'accidentally' visited the wool shop where some more was ordered. Well, he is growing SO quickly you know .

Once Hom is back at work next week how about you and me, you know, do it?

sounds good plan re time limit, Cunty. Thanks. We have nothing else to do that day but get to parents, so should be ok. Services are never far away.

glad hol was good. Pics look great! Good luck with jabs. Deffo try to take Hom, and make him hold Rastus. Actually, lady said I should get revenge by sending SFF for the 18 month jabs - when they can make a bigger fuss.

I am addicted to getting baby clothes... Are you having stuff knitted?

Next week is good cunts cos am away the week after.