FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

wow cunty - that's some pretty astonishing generosity! Babies really do bring out the best in people.

organicone Reflux symptoms:
Projectile vomiting
Acidic smelling breath (rank)
Acidic puke/possetting (equally rank)
Arching of the back (remember I thought my child could hold her own head up from day one - she was arching her back)
Clear belly agony.
Screaming. Constantly.

With the Gaviscon, extreme winding and keeping her upright after feeds, we just have the odd bit of the above. No PV since treatment - thankfully! I think the reflux experience has made her need to clear her belly worse - this grunting thing is wearing thin. Especially when the frustration starts to upset her, as it is doing now. Thankfully a serious swaddle and some music took her mind off it for a whole three hours' solid sleep last night. Then it was back to a bit here and there and muchos noises

Confession: ok, don't shoot me, but it is dropping the moses basket. But only from a very small height and the baby within was a tiny swaddled cocoon which just rolled out gently (thank fuck) when I lost my grip on one of the handles. Of course, I broke down and howled the house down thinking I was an unfit mother. (This was in the first couple of weeks. I cried a lot).

at fanny's take on ski's fucking animals.

is it weird that i am envious of six-week checks? Mine is eight weeks (baby seven weeks now) and involves her first set of jabs. Not looking forward to it.

fanny I've got a line in "Animal Farm" baby clothing. There's also a "Debbie Does Dallas" holiday & swimwear range.

cunty The trainset sounds AMAZING! Far too good to "waste" on a baybee hehe.

I have been blown away by jailbait's mum & gran. They filled their entire luggage allowance (40kg) with presents & clothes for Bear. We both sat on the floor unwrapping present after present - I was totally in awe because my family aren't very "gifty". We actually need to go out and buy him his own wardrobe now as he has so much stuff. We got given 25+ babygrows alone! We don't need to buy him any more stuff for aaaaages. Bearnumber2 will have to like animals too!

rots - sorry forgot to address dog ishoo - will have to return to it later - granny is due imminently.

Jailbait's mum also got me a beautiful necklace (tres posh!) as a thank-you for raping her little boy making her a grandmother.

I dropped slipped and managed to drop mini oke down the stairs. Just about managed to grab him by is sleep suit before he went the full length but it was 'orrible. Cried lots too curlyone.

Confession: I have allowed Rastus to get a tan. As well as letting him sleep on his front.

As a newborn I dropped full bottle of bathroom cleaner on MadamMoo's head, bent her arm backwards against door frame and also smacked her head on it a few times. Most of it was done within about 10 mins one night when I was severely knackered and had clearly lost any sense of spacial awareness. I think she is ok.

All these expensive toys and the one thing that keeps Rastus quiet longest is lying on his changing mat staring at the side of the Pampers box and punching at some crackly plastic that gift-wrapped a goodie basket Contrary child.

Had my check-up, gynae was so lovely - she was the one who'd made my day with "we think a c-section is the best for you" - I love her! Anyway, I didn't have a sweep - just seems my body went in to total meltdown. I mean, I'm no virgin and I've had a boy or two up there and a smear or two - but I've NEVER had pain like that ffs. Anyway v good news - I can get a tummy tuck "on the house" once I'm done with the baybees! I'm very pleased about that as I'm prepared to drive around with banged up bodywork for a few years but eventually I'll want a good paint job, chrome wheels etc., etc. She again re-iterated not to get pregnant until xmas due to risk of uterus leaping open like a scene from Aliens.

I've had to get jailbait to take his mum & gran off and give me some "alone" time with Bear. I know they've travelled 100s of miles and battled planes, trains and automobiles, but he's still my baybee. He's taken tonight to scream his bloody head off and I've (for the first time) opened the gripe water for him... and poured a large G&T for mama.

The poonami came and brought every colour and texture of poo possible She even nearly got me with some projectile stuff, which followed the rock hard stuff which was clearly in the way. I am proud of my daughter's focussed pushing. She'll do really well if she ever has baybees

Anyway, MIL is in kitchen with SFF and Squeaks, who is asleep. Next feed is ready, washing all done. So I have 5 mins MN time. And alcohol. And barbecue food on the way. Am happy.

(loving the confessions - okie that made me feel sooooo much better!)

ski glad went ok. and bonus for the free surgery!

Ski the Dutch give out free tummy tucks on their health service? at all the pressies being given out too, although I got a huuuuuuge bunch of flowers today from men who are not my OH. And from Tracey, although she is in fact the burliest member of the team I was working with!

Worst thing I did with DD? (so far ) I took her to a horse show and didn't strap her into the pram (just this once!) The person riding my horse for me wanted me to get something in a hurry so a ran back through the car park, which was full of muddy pot holes, whilst pushing the pram, and DD bounced out and straight into a puddle.

Lovin the bad ass momma stories! Dread to think whY mine will be.

Mutt is sat on sofa next to me farting it's ass off. So putrid made me wrinkle my nose in disgust. My farts don't smell anywhere as bad as that!! Though from the audio alone you would think mine were nuclear.

Think I am going to stuff my chops with the remaining baby shower cake. I must also write my thank you cards!!

Bayberry is still very active which is great tho sometimes painful!!

Him Indoors has gone out with a mate so I am home alone with the washing machine on and Masterchef on the bogglebox. Harrow's Headmaster is a bit of duffer. Hate all this bullshit tension of "headmaster will see you now!"

friend of mine managed to break her 2yo son's leg by stumbling down the stairs. she was in total pieces as I'm sure you can imagine.

Clyde is 9 weeks old and has only had three actual proper baths in his life.

cos Break her son's leg? Mind you, I nearly broke Bonnie's head the other day when she was 'sitting' on the outdoor chairs with us on the rock solid York stone patio (which I hate - so glad we're moving). She simultaneously rocked the chair backwards and fell through the gap in the back of the chair! I actually grabbed and pulled her head with both hands to stop her hitting the stone. Luckily MrP grabbed the chair at the same time and pulled it forward, or you may have seen me confessing instead to breaking my child's neck.

ski of tummy tuck. I am trying to buy a dress for my birthday dinner next month and everything I try clings to my saggy, jelly-like pot belly.

silver That headmaster was an unpleasant twat. The staff did not appear to be enjoying his company at all - it looked like the most uncomfortable, joyless dinner party ever.

I'm terrified I'm going to whack his head against the door frame lifting him in and out of the maxi-cosi when it's in the car. :(

I had a tummy tuck 2 years ago and it was a botch job and didn't go well. I was really in two minds whether to ever get it all fixed because i) I nearly died (don't do GA) and ii) wonga. But she said they'd do it for me to correct the scar from this c-section which is a bit wonky (like I care!) but obviously they'd rather I finished the family first. I'd love a "pretty" tummy long term but don't have the cash right now and was nervous about going under the knife again - however, I trust this hospital. She was also really thrilled with us waxing lyrical about the care we'd received whilst staying there. E.g., me being wheeled up in my bed to SCBU at 2/5am rather than being told "if you want to see your baybee you'd better get walking you lazy caaaaah" - or having to kick pieces of placenta out of the way in the shower.

My tummy is actually fine - it didn't get that big during pregnancy nor did I get any new stretchmarks. The size of my arse is another planet matter altogether and I did not appreciate being weighed yesterday as I was avoiding my scales. Once I'd put down my cake I cried.

Tsk thrush in right nip . Doc has given me rub on cream - will that suffice? I though it was inside the milk ducts and shiz?

rots I haz ordered some swimming shiz from you

how heavy was the cake ski and are you sure you were ok carrying it so soon after your section??

Did they give you gel for inside his mouth, too? If the pain inside your breast or "just" on the outside? Did you download the leaflet I posted a while back? If not let me know and I will re-post it.

Make a purchase of acidophillus tablets (take with a COLD drink). They'll be good for you even if you don't have thrush in your system. If you don't have gel for R then I would go right back for that. Is it Daktarin that you've been given?

Sympathy :(

Had a horrible morning. Miserable night. Didn't get Comma to sleep until nearly 2am following hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of screaming :( Have had a great non-colicky week but last night was bad. He woke again at 3 for a feed, took 1/2 hour, then awake again at 6. I was so tired this morning I didn't know what to do with myself and couldn't sleep because every time I put Comma down he started to cry again.

Anyway, managed a sleep this arvo and am feeling much better for it. Have also expressed 3oz and YOB gave him some of it straight away in a bottle which after some persuasion he took, so I'm going to start regularly expressing. It will mean then we have stock for us to be able to go out in the evening, for me to go to have my hair cut or a massage or something, and any extra will go into the freezer for when I go back to work as that will be at 6 months and if all goes to plan he'll still be EBF and only just starting to have solids being introduced. I would like to donate to the Huddersfield milk bank but I'm worried about the thrush. We had a swab done of his mouth which came out negative but the HV said they frequently do for some reason.

I do think he's refluxy. I asked you, cas, what Squeaks' symptoms were because LC had the PV (in spades) but little else. Comma is not PVing but is normal Ving IYSWIM but has the screaming, back arching etc. Off to HV tomorrow and will see.

Am I the only one who wants to shout, "the milky bar is stuck on me!" every time Comma asks for a feed? And then worries about promoting a Nestle product? Just me, then.

cunty just seen that :) You forgot to put through the discount code (mumsnet) so I will refund the difference.

woo hoo 4 discount

got Clorimazole or whatever for me and nystatin (?) drops for his mouth. Doc today not convinced he had thrush but he was asleep so she couldn't get a good look. R has his 6 week check tomorrow so we'll get a better look then...

It's just on the outside I think, but it's like having a hot iron pressed against my raspberry

rots poor you and Comma - will he snooze on his tum?

cunty Nystatin has been shown to be less effective than Daktarin. Clorimazole is basically Canestan and can cause allergic reactions - not great for going in their mouths. This is stuff I've read - don't take it as gospel (what do I know). I would strongly advise reading the leaflet and also the stuff that fanny posted (although my further investigations show that Gentian Violet is no longer recommended as apparently it's carcenogenic.

Re snooze on tummy - do you think it would help? I will try... thanks.

Can't tell you how much I have enjoyed this late part of the afternoon. I have done loads of housework (clearly not fun but bear with me), fed, bathed, massaged and put to bed LC and done a load of sorting for the charity shop. I've done all of it without having to listen out for Comma, or worrying about stopping what I'd doing. Because - I'd expressed milk which meant that YOB could do absolutely anything with him and he didn't need me! It was sooo liberating. Wonderful! I expressed 3oz and there's still some left, but he took the bottle fairly well and then has gone back onto the breast just fine. I'm so excited! I'm going to have a bath later for the first time since before Comma was born! (I'm not minging by the way - I shower in the morning ).