FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Cunty did I read somewhere that cabbage leaves (of the savoy kind) on boobs and nips were supposed to help? Or did I just dream that in some bizarre wrapped dream?

My tum tum hurts when I walk now and I am only 27 weeks. I also walked across the office and a little fart slipped out - I blamed squeaky shoes and think I got away with it. I fear I am losing control of all my bodily functions already - have been peeing a little bit when sneeziing for some time. Please can we have dignified pregancies and labour for the next generation?

Moo have you gone for Winkie Spiers Dog Trainer?? I would have to just becasue of the name but I don't have a dawg!

Moo ha ha ha hah! Okie please not to be eating edamame peas to avoid additional windage.

HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW ABOUT WINKIE? That is well spooky.

rots - and yet when you get a huge BM poo explosion all over a new outfit it's hard not to allow a look of uncontrollable rage and abject disgust cross your face...

And now he wants feeding as some kind of REWARD!!!

I remember a 8 day drought on the pooing front. When it came, it came! It was a relief for both of us though. Longest I have heard is 11 days!!

Moo she is the oracle in doggie issues around these parts. EVERYONE has heard of Winkie! No, joking - I think I emailed you about her once. My old cat sitter does also does dog sitting too and she works/recommends her for solving pesky dawg issues.

The pooing drought was baybee issue and not mine, I hasten to add...

'lo all.

We've had no poo for 48 hours here either. I await a poovalanche. And seeing as she's only getting one EBM feed a day now (drying up so quickly), I expect it to be nasty

cunty sorry about the blocked breast. I had mastitis in the early weeks. Cabbage leaves did seem to help, as did some serious hand manipulation and expressing - got to places the pump could not reach. Back then, as milk was so plentiful, I could happily spend time having a good squeeze in the bath - without worrying about the loss of precious milk. very soothing. (I also liked watching the swirly patterns milk makes in the water)

rots thanks for more info on the Motherease. I'm going to wait till she's a bit bigger. SFF is much more involved now (thank goodness), so one thing at a time! I've not got him actually making up feeds yet. I am a bit of a possessive mum, I will admit...

Can't belive Squeaks will be seven weeks on Thurs! She seems so big now, yet colleague who was due same week as me has just had hers (couple of weeks overdue) and the baby is heavier than Squeaks is now. OUCH!

Done loads of housework today (Squeaks sleepy for once!) and have one granny for two days, then pair of grandparents for the next three, so I don't expect to be around much. Not that I have been.

I have come to the conclusion that the first couple of weeks post-partum should be relished if possible. They say rest, but I say do as much as you can. We got out and about a lot while she was still just sleeping and eating. Okay, so we were sleep deprived, but in retrospect, it was actually the most hassle-free bit so far. Because the colic kicks in a two weeks, and we had the reflux, and now I have an actual little person, who needs to be entertained between sleeps and feeds. And who is still making a hell of a din as she tries to get control of passing wind/peeing/pooing. (I'm told the sex pest noises tend to stop at 8 week. Here's hoping!) so while having a new baby is overwhelming, those first couple of weeks might actually bring the most freedom to be had as a parent. Just my experience... I actually miss having a teeny baby.

moo re: the doggie... I have taken mine out on a walk with baby in sling (an ergo, which is really fab and sends baby off to sleep each time she goes in it.. Hence I also wear around house....) and that seems fine. I also have tried pram. Also fine. My dog doesn't pull tho... But he will do the occasional random lurch if he spots a cat... But he has been extra good when I have taken him these last couple of days, so maybe he knows not to do it now?

cunty v sorry to hear of buzwam fail... Hope is better now?

ski I think too much fuss is made about how babies are fed... We all do what we think best in the circs. I feel v strongly about how my dog is fed, but I understand why others don't and don't hold it aainst them. So not sure why people can't just lube an let live with baby feeding? So long as people are making informed choices, they shouldn't feel pressure... Think am rambling.... Not sure my points are relevant to the discussion!

cossie am v excited for you. Although so realise you have poss weeks left. Still excited!

Have any of you entertained Dr. Droid since the laying?

Question plz: so who is having pelvic floor ishoos? If so, did you or not do your exercises?

I have done very little an am now worried that post partum I am going to have to invest in shares of Tena Lady!!

I forgot about pelvic floor and am now suffering for it. Not leaking as such, but coughing and sneezing are comedy.

No droid as far as I know. But then lochia has only just dried up so poss combined? Dunno.

Think I did ski. No pains or such like, but a bleed that felt less post-partum and more droid-ish. Was very short-lived, thankfully.

well, Squeaks was officially constipated this avo. Passed what I can only describe as a mango puree coloured pebble . So I gave her some water, and used comfort milk for her next feed (Aptamil one is designed for constipation), and let her soothe her belly in the Tummy Tub, and we finally got a poo explosion a few hours later. No wonder she was sleeping lots, when not straining, and eating less today. Poor wee mite. We have since been for a nice walk with the dog and she has just finished her bedtime feed. Shame we can't just go to bed, but she has to be kept upright for a bit. Bloody reflux!

moo. I have walked Mutley with pram and sling. Because she has an ishoo with other dogs (fear aggression) and cats (dinner) and squirrels (prime fodder for a part greyhound), I am more comfortable with the pram. When she lunges at something, often in a manner that makes her the same height as me, I can put the brake on the pram and wrestle her down, rather than create a baby sandwich between me and a jumpy, barky, little shoite. She is all legs when in the zone and I don't want Squeaker getting bashed. And she walks nicely beside the pram - stays to heel for it rather than me, which is quite sweet.

Sling walk was nice though, down a quiet road with no trouble. I think you just have to play around and see what works. Nice to have sling and pram anyway. My stretchy wrap sling is great, if a little sweaty. I don't use it too often because Squeaks is becoming quite independent - just like her mum!

Glad other dogs are behaving. Mine now tries to lick Squeaker's face at every opportunity, but settled for her legs yesterday, which was hilarious because eventually baby kicked out and dog jumped a mile in terror

love that pic poo! Not found Mutley like that yet, but there was a suspect warm patch and circular dent in the throw on the futon when I was putting Squeaks to bed in the nursery last night...

Right, now to try to wind a snoring baby.

shit, shit, shit. Thanks for the reminder. I have been shite with the PFs. Very intermittent, yet I was a Tena Lady in pregnancy. Good news silv is that I am not now having big problems that I have noticed, even though I do have a cough at the mo. Unless I actually stink of pee and noone has told me.

More effort required nonetheless.

Belatedly...thanks for the suggestions everyone :)

and a belated hurray for your nephew being well rierie!

Ditto arie. Great news that nephew is doing good.

cas well I can't smell ya from here so you can't be that bad.

Small person is kicking the crap outta me and has done for most of the day. I so think s/he is in a slightly different position as inhave had a funny feeling in my tum. Can't explain very well. Almost like sat on a sensitive nerve and making me feel lightheaded and bit ick and almost takes my breath away. Is s/he on mycervix or summat? Anyone know? Also s/he appears to be keeping his/hers razorblades under my right buzwam again.

Reason no. 547 why I should not be a mummee: Whilst trimming his fingernails I trimmed his finger. I thought I'd got away with it but jailbait noticed dried blood.

silver All this kicking is simply a warm-up for being kicked in your c-section scar in a couple of months.

I've got my 6 week check today - anyone got any questions I can ask? Will be asking about my scar and if they did a sweep on me.

I appear to be getting some boob milk back but I'm not sure how long it'll be as it seems to be following the pattern I had in hospital. I got some fenugreek tablets, loaded up and boobs swelled up and production increased. 24 hours later boobs are most definitely shrunken again. Is this it? milk for 24 hours only?

My colleagues came around last night for a traditional visit. I am such a nob. I forgot to offer a couple of them a drink and by the time I noticed too much time had passed for me to get away with it. I realise that makes me sound like Roy from the IT crowd. :(

Btw - anyone seen the mn ad for "playdate cards" - why am I reminded of Bridget Jones/Mark Darcy doing introductions?

"Bear likes drinking milk, sleeping but says he's sick of wearing clothes with fucking animals on."

ski my boobs don't feel full now. After first few weeks that stopped. Only now happens if he doesn't feed for more than 4 hours and they get a bit bloaty. Judging by the amount he throws up, and the fact that he was weighed yesterday at 11 Lbs (!) he's getting plenty from my flat boobs. Meaning, flat boobs are not necessarily indicative of a lack of milk (although that's not me saying you've got it all wrong and you have boobs-full, just saying, you know?).

cunty you're so right. If my reactions to Comma's nappies are anything to go by he'll have no self-esteem at all. In fact I think he likes it - being a bloke and all - he's started lifting his leg to fart and I'm sure he grins afterwards in a "howzat" kind of way.

curls what are the Squeaker's reflux symptoms? Also, are you sure you haven't stolen my dog? (identical "problems"). What have you done/tried re the aggression? I've tried, I think, EVERYTHING with Caspar so would love more tips. Iggs, ages ago, and I were discussing it but in the end I find that just avoiding other dogs works as well as anything, ensuring he has an excellent recall and muzzling him when he has to be in the same vicinity as anothere dog (eg vet).

We're off on holiday next week! Got to work out where...

calpol info

Funnily enough, on the weekend LC's friend's parents were talking about Calpol giving her eczema. I'd not heard of it before, then randomly this post appears.

LC has had it from his first vaccinations. I will def try to avoid it with Comma.

I am not going to chuck out our (vast) stocks of the stuff but I'm also going to be more careful about giving it given that LC already has eczema and possibly hay fever.

Hello there dear Feshes! I am here to soak up the atmosphere and also to congratulate iggy! Which I think I may not have done, as was too busy swanning around Spain.

So Iggy: delighted for you! Huge congratulations!! A girl!! . Thanks also for sharing your amazing birth story, which sounded so great (that goes for all of you feshes by the way - it has been great of you to share your experience with the rest of us. I really appreciate it!). But you and cunty have definitely decided me on giving the hippo stuff a whirl. I picked up my Mongan book and CD from the post office yesterday, so time to get cracking I guess!

Actually I also got Ina May Gaskin and an absolutely excellent book on breastfeeding called "Breastfeeding made simple" (which my midwives fervently recommended). A little overkill perhaps? Well, maybe, but I like reading da books... I will soon get a baby book and that should do me in terms of reading matter. Anyone recommend one? I had a look at the mumsnet one, but the different font sizes had the effect of annoying me , and don't like the what to expect series, so other suggestions maybe?

aries so glad your poor darling nephew is doing well after such a tough start. It's wonderful.

ski - good luck with the six week check! Hope your scar is healing up well. Has it really been six weeks?!

Swits Good choice ref the hippo. I attempted 3 times a week (they say every day in the last 4 weeks or so but to be frank to woman's voice started sqeaking my pips after a while. I can confirm it was enough to see me through. Tip: try and pinpoint something you can visualise for when the contractions are happening, although, like me, you may and up woth something completely different on the day. I wanted to visulaise waves coming in and out, but ended up counting a row of bingo balls . No idea where they came from, but they came in useful. I 'saw' each one and by the time I got to about 20 the contractation had started to subside. This went on for 13 hours

ski got my six week check tomorrow and Rastus's on Friday. Not arsed about me, as long as I'm healing ok and she can say if I have thrush (R apears to have white plaques in his mouth and gums). But want to check about the huge ridge running down the back of R's head. Sure it's normal but it's v prominent and perhaps explains why he doesn't like it on his back too much.

OMFG, we were having a kip on the sofa yesterday when the doorbell goes. Hauled us boh to my feet and a huge parcel was being delivered - mum's next door neighbour, whom I think has a soft spot for mum, had bought Rastus a complete Hornby train set. 200 coins of the realm! I had one when I was a kid and LOVED playing with it with Dad, and mum must have mentioned this and he went on th'interweb and bought one for us. I am so touched. And excited - I set it up on th dining room floor last night

ski Traditionally at your 6 week check you ask 'when can I start doing the secks again?'

Just a little drop of dried blood? When I first cut Bonnie's fingernails it was gushing like the Gulf of Mexico. I had to put a sticky plaster on but it was so enormous on her tiny finger, and I was terrified she would put it in her mouth. Lesson learned.

Anyway, I think the FESH thread should be full of 'bad mummee confessions.' Come on everyone, tell us your worst!

rots Re your quote about BF. Did they fail to take into account the gritting of teeth, watering eyes, and yelps of ow-ow-ow when the baby is attaching him/herself to the breast? What would that do for their self esteem? OMG I am obviously harming my baybee.

cunty So you've got about six clear years of playing with the train set yourself until it's a suitable toy for Rastus?

ski I'm very concerned about these baby clothes that have fucking animals on them. Ours just have animals doing nice innocent activities.

Exactly, fanfare. EXACTLY!!

rots I read your Calpol stuff. Bonnie much prefers the plain generic stuff we get from the GP. Branded Calpol is bright pink, which stains things, and is sickly sweet. Yuck. I did not know you could buy non-coloured, non-sweetened stuff OTC. Will try that.

Oh, and my bad mummee confession: Clyde has had three doses of Calpol in the last 2 days. He has a horrible cold and is really distressed breathing when lying down. So shoot me. (Disclaimer: Yes, he is 2 mths old, was not premature, and this is within the medical guidelines. Just.)

cunty how absolutely lovely!!!!!