Dec 08 Ladies welcome to the new Bean, next stop, Summer.

[Veggiemummy]

Sorry very boring had to think quickly, not my best feature

Beans, how did you get on at Tommies today? Hope it wasn't too arduous...

Sybs, you don't look at all lardy, my dear. But I know you probably won't believe me.

SL - I have now put on about 7kg. But added to the 12kg minimum I had to lose before...is a lot to lose after the baby, even assuming I don't put any more on, which is unlikely! I wish I was up to running like you, Deirdre....and to you parents of Mummy-refuseniks, DD said "Mum- mum- mum" for the first time on Saturday, though she has only said it a couple of times since. If we point to pictures of me or ask her who I am, she closes her mouth tight or laughs. She says "Nanny" (only to my Mum ) and has said Daddy for months. In fact she used to call me Daddy as well. She says tons of other things. But is hugely reluctant to say Mummy. I expect she just thinks of me as That Woman. Oh, and DB, I think peanuts are v nutritious, aren't they? Every time I think DD has slightly improved, she takes a step back. We are pretty much where we were, though she will now actually ASK for a banana when she fancies one, which is new.

Talking of things kids say, Avo, that is SUPER cute.

JJ, I would be apoplectic about that work situation. It sounds utterly galling. Being the direct sort I would either go and tell the bloke how flipping annoyed I was, or compose a suitably crisp email. Because I don't tend to like things to eat away at me, I am far too selfish and would prefer to make my feelings known where possible Oh, and your poor friend...can't imagine wat she is going through having to wait another week for the op. Heartrending.

Jam, it's terrific news the MRI etc came back clear, but it's all leaving you hanging rather, isn't it? I hope the problems have now vanished as quickly as they descended. It sounds very frightening for you all.

Hey Invis, good to see you back. Glad the hol was nice, I bet you really needed it. I haven't read the new Audrey Niffenegger, as I didn't care overmuch for The Time Traveller's Wife. I dunno, it made me feel a bit manipulated. After the Jonathan Coe is finished I have got The News Where You Are by a woman called Catherine Flynn - it's set in the world of telly and had good reviews. Her first one won the Costa Award. In fact, despite having lots to do I think I might go to bed to read. Er, well when I have unstacked the dishwasher and hung up the washing, obviously.

Rubes, if you are there I wish they would stop putting all these new people into Big Brother. I am old now and it takes me a long time to get used to the new ones.

Cross posted with the other nightjar -ZJ! As a veteran of many a train trip I would recommend one of the CBeebies comics as you get some free plastic crap on the front and stickers to stick in the mag...if all else fails, chocolate buttons or some other such treat...plus a few thousand verses of "If You're Happy and you Know It, Clap your Hands" (rub your nose/blow a kiss/flick your ears etc etc etc - I have become unembarassable on public transport, it seems...)

Thank the good lord for this thread. I thought I was the only parent of a non-Mummy speaker. DS2 was happily saying Nanny within hours of meeting my MIL but Mummy he will not say.

Zoe: def go for a preschool mag. DH got DS2 one with loads of stuff in it - Peppa Pig, Dora and lots of other characters and many stickers. Kept the boys amused for ages. Treats. Looking out of the window and getting very excited about trees and sheep.

JJ: that is incredibly annoying. IME having had to deal with similar crap, a reasonable email to all concerned (including relevant budget controllers) setting out the situation (I need X for Y) and the problem (Z is a nobboid) and asking for solutions can work. A direct approach is harder to wriggle out of. In fact I'm sure you've thought of this already. Back to the stupid colleague dartboard...

Hello,
such a guy thing. dh has picked up the act but its clear he just 'forgets' rather than on doen't help on pupose. Went to a kids water park yesterday which was ideal to burn them out. mil and dh took ds in which he thoroughly enjoyed although they chucked him down a couple of fairly steepish slides which made me gap like a nervous parent on the sideline! Seemed like he enjoyed it though. Went to our favourite pub for dinner which I insisted on paying for (since they had paid for everything) and db sneakily went back and told them to void my card auth I will have to put some cash in his wallet about 5 mins before their flight checks in going home! Guess it' his way of making amends which is nice, but getting irritating!
mil has said she wants to come over again (visit not stay) when my fam leave. At first I thought no way as I need ome peace but tbh it would probably mean more rest for me really as he will take ds off to the payyground etc, and at least it's only for the day
I'm so sorry for not doing personals. Have been so aware that I've been crap on that front, just figured if I can at least find time to post something about my days, you all won't mind! I have tried to skim read at times (desperately looking for babylightening news) but can't seem to retain much more than the last few posts.
Hang in there Lady! 7 kg is nothing - brilliant to be honest. I put on about 13kg in total (about 2 less than last time) and I can assure you that although I still look 6 months pregnant, so much fluid has vanished that actually looked like fat on the thighs (there is still fat yes) but the fluid really does build up in the last trimester. My concern is my tummy not going down at the rate it did with ds and dh assures me it's normal the 2nd time around as there is scar tissue from round 1 and it's normal to bounce back slower. it just seems quite hard and dh has had a feel and reckond my uterus is still belly button level so that can't help - although the m/w said it is contracting quite fast so I'm confused
Do any of you 2nd timers think this was the case for them?
I completely forgot to take pain killers last night and I'm not really feeling too bad to be hones, but better go down and dose up!
Just realised I haven't provided a pic yet - I'm a bit over FB at the moment so have put anything on there and don't really want to on here but I will pop one up on our FB group's page which is private right?

Ok added to the groups page. it's a crap photo though a it was taken from my phone on day 1.

Rubes - it's gorgeous! I love it. She is beautiful. Like her Mum, of course!!

Avo - thanks so much for the lovely offer of the Phil and Teds. I'd say yes, I'd love it, but we do have the maclaren, so don't feel like I can justify another (we also have a bugaboo, a hauck and a running buggy!) - think DH would go into meltdown if another one appeared! But thank you so so much for offering. And actually, DD2 slept in Maclaren yesterday - miracle!

Lady - thanks for asking re hospital visit - it wasn't too bad. DD2's hips are fine. She screamed a fair amount, particularly on the return journey, as was hungry, but the car always sends them off to sleep eventually! And actually, miracle of miracles, she was asleep by 7.15 last night - and in her room. YAY! And DH did late feed at 10.30 and I slept from 9.30 - 3.30. V pleased. And again til 6.45. Although she did let out a strange shriek at 5, so I raced in to see her (don't want to wake DD1!) and picked her up and she went straight back to sleep on me. V strange. But easy, thankfully!

Does anyone else find Zingzillas really really grating? I hate Zac for some reason!

Hey Rubes, I think it's great you're managing to post at all - I don't think anyone is expecting you to do catch ups...

Weight - well, it's 19kg in real terms (because that weight HAS to go this time, I am not spending the rest of my life being a flabster) and 7kg was the target I set myself for the entire pregnancy so to have reached it with 7 or 8 wks still to go is a bit alarming I have been a bit more relaxed with what I have eaten the last two or three weeks (carbs particularly) and so that's got to be addressed. Booo. I was interested to hear in the difference about tummy losing its swelling at a slower rate second time round. I guess what your DH says makes total sense. I shall look out for that. Last time I was worried about my scar for a while and it didn't seem that good and I had a small infection/swelling, but in the end it was good. I am so so glad your DB's visit has gone smoothly. It all sounds really nice (if v tiring).

DP is at work all day so I am spending the day starting to go through the masses of stuff here, to weed it down. Most of it isn't mine but I can at least start with my stuff. Must get into Ebaying stuff...

Effie, I remember our Urbane saying ages ago that her hugely bright DS didn't say Mummy for aeons. It's not just you, me, SUmmer and DB. It must be a common(ish) thing. I wonder why?

X-posted with you, Beans - glad the hossie trip was ok. I think she is sleeping so well for such a young 'un. I'm pleased for you. ZIngzillas - have only ever seen a trail for it, which I found mystifying! I hate those two Scottish balls of fluff (shut UP) and the one with Nurse Gladys from Open All Hours. SHe's in good nick though!

RIght, must awa' to FB to check out the picture of the newest Rubette...

Still no mummy here either. We have woowoo for Louis the dog and yes and bye, peppa, buzz anda few others. Just the same as DS1 and now I cant shut him up so not worrying about the lack of speach here. Also he concentrates on his large motor skills climbing out of baths up the biggest slide and climbing frame etc.

Beans that is an awesome sleep. Great news about the hips.

Rubes she is lovely.

Veggie glad you had a great time. How did DS2 do with sleeping DH is on about us camping and I am terrified about him not sleeping.

Oh I mean DS2 sleeping not DH.

AVO that is super sweet about your DD2.

Summer where are you now are you officially overdue cant remember your due date?

JUMP am clearly a thicko did not get your analogy. Well I did if it was a pair of curtains.

Zoe childrens comic all the time. I buy them for the boys occasionally and we now have a drawer full of bits of old comics and they love it. Use them for cutting and sticking and spend hours reading them.

Zing Zillas bleaugh dont get me started on childrens TV we will be here all day.

Off to COlchester today get the lads feet measured although am reluctant to buy them anyting until the weather turns. Effie are you around for a drink or are you working I forget which is your day off.

Right best go.

Hi
Rubes what a cutie your DD is! So SMALL and CUTE! I want mine now.
Jam due date is tomorrow. Bah! Nothing happening still.

Oh on that front as well, my midwife was actually a bit crap and said to me that I should ring the hospital tomorrow if no baby and to book an appointment there for 41 weeks, isn't this a bit crap?? I haven't even discussed my birth in detail with the hospital and haven't discussed induction/going over/c-section if I go a long way over. I would just rather have a plan now that is agreed as to what I should do if I go a long way over, rather than wait til 41 weeks. What do you think? Also i am sure I got a sweep last time before 41 weeks and they haven't asked me about that either.
Should I call the hospital and ask them to see me sooner?? The local midwife seems to have washed her hands of me until after the birth, which is a little annoying.

Zoe when I'm on trains I often let DS walk up and down a bit, and look for other toddlers of a similar age so they can interact a bit to pass the time! Obviously with trying not to let him annoy too many people along the way. I did see a post on here with good tips for long journeys, one that I thought was good was to have a vague plan in terms of splitting up the time, e.g. read books for half an hour, do some colouring, go to the buffet, eat, etc. I think the thread was about an 8 hr train journey so may have made more sense in that context but might still be relevant. Definitely don't take all the toys/entertainment/food out at the same time try and do bit by bit so that they don't get bored to quickly. 2hrs should be fine I reckon. We did an 8 hr journey to the alps with DS when he was 1 and a bit, and that was even fine to be honest. Though there was me and DH to entertain him.

Jam: sadly, am at work. Wed is my day off. Speaking of which, had better get back to it...

Beans My sister put me off having a board on the pushchair as she said the times when you want them to use it it's because they are not cooperating and the likelihood of them standing sweetly on the board at times like that are zilch. I used to carry the sling with me so had the option to put the older child in the pushchair for a bit as Sybil suggested.

Glad to hear DD2's hips are fine and we all love Zingzillas in this house, sorry.

JJ Sorry to hear about your friend . And very cross for you re curtains.

Invisible Sounds like you had a super time in Devon.

Sybil I also need to lose about a stone and I'm totally with you on not wanting to cut down on food and am trying to exercise it away. I also recommend 30 day shred. I'm now on my 2nd circuit and I lost 3 and a half kg last time round. It's fab.

Avocadoes That is so sweet about your DD2 and very impressive. DS is nowhere near being able to communicate like that.

DD didn't say mummy for ages and then started calling me ma which I hated as it made me think of Dot Cotton from Eastenders.

What is the name of our Facebook Group? So that I can belatedly join in?

Summer I think I had a sweep before 41 weeks with DS but this may have been because my MW was part time so needed to fit in with the days she worked. What is the 41 week appointment for? Is it for a sweep or to discuss options?

We got back from a week in Jersey late on Saturday. DH was asked to be godfather to his best friend's little girl so we decided to make a family holiday out of it. The christening was lovely and DD was so well behaved and I had lots of nice comments. I only hope the look of amazement on my face didn't give it away that she doesn't normally behave like that! DS, well that's another story, there was a fountain on a grassy roundabout in front of the hotel where the reception was held and his one ambition was to get into it. He can be very single minded . We had a super week playing on the beach (if you overlook DS's addiction to eating sand) and it was nice to spend some time together as a family (DH usually works very long hours so the DCs don't get to see him much). On milestones, DS has finally managed to learn to come downstairs. Having been pushed down the stairs twice by his loving older sister he had developed a bit of a fear. Typical that this happened in the holiday apartment where it led to all kinds of added dangers!

Tomorrow, DD, DS and I are off to Sweden with my mother, my sister and her 3 girls. The big deal for me is that I shall be driving abroad for the first time, eek! I used to be an extremely unconfident driver until my DH bought me an automatic car earlier this year. In a moment of craziness I agreed to this Sweden trip, as I know DD will love playing with her cousin, but now it has arrived I'm a little terrified.

I think this is probably my longest post ever, better go as I need to get the next load in the washing machine.

Hello all! Been away in Berlin for a few days, was lovely but DD very grumpy (teethign I think) so we basically had to do what she wanted to keep her from goign nuclear. Luckily Berlin is the most child-friendly place on teh planet so we did a grand tour of the 345345634 trillion playgrounds wiht sandpits (some with bars attached, now THAT'S civilised)

Hope everyone is well and belated HUGE congrats Rubs!! She is utterly gorgeous.

Am a bit bleary eyed so hope I haven't missed any other major news!? DD up at 5.10am the last two days, aghhhhh!

So I have a question... I may have to go to New York for work for a week or so (no longer, maybe a few days less) in September. Having never been away from me for longer than one night, how will DD cope with this, and what do I do about the fact that she's still feeding..? I guess it will mean weaning as I don't think I'll be able to keep up enough supply over a week to still feed her (and perhaps she'll forget or is that wishful thinking?)

Any suggestions/ideas, anyone? Part of me would quite like her to wean but part of me thinks it seems so cruel and also coincides with when she is changing nurseries (same nursery, different location so as far as she is concerned all new, so that will require some settling for her too)

Just had my 6 week check with GP. All well. Hurray. Knew it would be. Discussed contraception. Was going to make some sarky comment about never having sex again, but having had a rather pleasant shag on Sunday, I'd have been lying! I'm considering a coil - is this madness?

Summer - was booked in for a sweep with midwife the day after DD1 was due and 3 days after DD2 was due. Afraid they are both early birds like me, so never happened. But I'd press for one sooner rather than later if I were you.

Nolda - I was terrified about driving on other side of road, but we went to Keffalonia when I was pregnant with DD1 and DH had such a horrific hangover from a stag night the night before that I had to drive from the airport to our villa. And actually, baptism of fire was fine - got used to it quite quickly. Even started reaching for the gearstick on the wrong side on my return to England!

What is 30 day shred? I want to lose weight too! Sybs - you really don't need to - you look gorgeous!!! I'm keen on losing a stone, but find running so very dreary!

Gosh, sorry Kiwi - cross posted with you. Berlin sounds amazing with bars attached to playgrounds - why don't they have that in Streatham eh?!

I think your DD will cope better than you expect. I've left DD with my parents a few times, as she knows them well. HEartless me went to Morocco when she was 10 months old and then to Paris in April when she was 15 months and she was absolutely fine. Had a lovely time, in fact. And I bet you thoroughly enjoy the time away. Sure you'll miss her, but smashgin to have evenings to yourself - and to sleep past 6am!!!

I'm afraid I have no tips on the weaning front as I stopped at 7 months. BUT I wonder if you could express while you were away if you wanted to keep the milk going for your return? But I'm not sure if that's a viable option or not at this stage?

hello Ladies
Sorry for being a bit quiet...I'm reading when I can but not having much chance to post. Summer hols and children needing entertaining and all that! But today Lucy is at her grandparents in Manchester (staying for a sleepover) and I've taken P to nursery so I can get an afternoon nap some jobs done in the house.
Twas our 11th Wedding anniversary on Sunday so we had a lovely meal out in the evening sans kiddiwinks (in-laws babysat). Things with dh are a bit better I think - we're not used to having such a lot of holiday at the same time!
I've had a bit of a wobble too about our life insurance! DH had been taking loads of calls and I just assumed they were something mortgage related (clearly I'm not the one who deals with that ), but then I heard him mention medication. I asked him what it was all about and he said that basically our LI policy was invalid because I have a mental health condition which I hadn't declared. I was fuming about how they'd got hold of that info, but in fact dh had told them. Something about a call we got from a company offering to give us a better deal, then when he was giving them all our info for their policy, they said that the reason our exisiting policy was quite cheap was because they health info wasn't right. Anyway he has had to tell them I am seen by a psychiatrist and CPN and am on meds Feel a bit blue about it but I guess I shouldn't be ashamed. Today we got a letter from them asking me to sign to give my consent for them to contact my GP. I feel a bit violated, although that sounds rather dramatic and I'm just being a wally probably!
summer didn't you have a c-section last time? When I was planning my VBAC they were pretty adamant that I wasn't allowed to go overdue by more than a few days and that I wasn't allowed to be induced, something to do with pressure on the scar. It seems a bit odd that they're being so blase about it with you. In fact at about 39 + 3 I asked for a sweep (to avoid going over and having a section) which seemd to have an effect because I went into labour the next day. It sounds like you need a good old chat about it all. Hope you get somewhere with it. Well really I hope you go into labour naturally today
Ladyt please stop! You really need to rest your weary legs!
Pubes you daft thing you don't need to do personals! I'm amazed you're doing so much and keeping us posted at all! Don't add MN guilt to everything on your plate!
ZJ the place we ate at last week was actually T h o m p s o n s chippy on the a 6 4 , but it's a really nice restaurant inside, which does pub type meals as well as fish and chips. On Sunday we went to this place which was fab and I had very naughty sticky toffee pudding
JB when does the new job start? I'm quite excited for you!
Now I'm with those of you who are trying to shed some pounds I've put on 7lb ove the last few months and it really shows. I went for a run yesterday and managed 3 minutes before I got a stitch! How do I avoid that? I managed to walk a couple of mins then run about 4 then walk 2, run 3, then that was me done! It's scary how unfit I am.
Re talking, P is still of the 'less is more' mentality! She's clearly concentrating on her physical side too, like babyjam. She still has just "bubble", "bye bye" "ba" (can be any number of things depending on context!) and "na na" (night night), but has added "bo" (when playing peek-a-boo!). I love Arti's N's happy comment, and ZJ's E's Lion/Lie in! Very cute P definitely understands and awful lot more than she can say though.
Anyway I've waffled somewhat.
ought to go and press on with some of these jobs...
back later hopefully x

Trace Had you eaten anything relatively soon before you ran? I can't eat anything for 3 hours minimum before I run or I instantly get stitch so I always go - if I go - first thing in the morning before breakfast if DH is around to mind DD.

sorry cross posted there.
kiwi I guess you need to ask yourself whether you want this to be the end of BF or not. If you'd like to continue I don't see why you couldn't express while you're away to keep your supply going. I was very reluctant to stop as it seemed such a comfort and a handy answer to lots of problems (!) but P did wean herself off and the sleep improved very soon after. I went away for the weekend very soon after stopping her feeds and DH said she was fine without me. I do think they 'need' you more when you're there. P can be fine with dh for hours, then once I'm there she goes all clingy and whingy and just wants me to hold her (then put her down, then hold her, then put her down...!) How much does she feed from you these days?
beans , and at your pleasant shag! You go girl! I think the coil is a good thing isn't it? I know a few people who've had it. I think you can get period type pains for a few weeks when it first goes in, but otherwise no probs.

trace thanks for that info, yes I did have CS last time. Maybe there is crossed wires and when I ring the hospital they will say I need a sweep asap.
kiwi not sure on the weaning/bfing thing, if you expressed then maybe you could see if you could persuade her that she wants to wean permanently when you're back but you'd have the option if you see what I mean?? But I suppose expressing a bit of a pain in the arse.
beans blimey on the action already - nice work. I think the coil could be a good option, but I don't know much about it. I want to persaude DH to have the snip, tee hee, he is not keen.
trace that is a shame about the life insurance thing, though better that they know and up your policy than you claimed on it and they wouldn't pay out. Not that it is a nice thought that you'd ever have to claim on life insurance anyway. I don't think you should feel bad about them looking into your health, I would have thought it is just standard? DH and I have been reviewing insurance - life insurance is ok price wise but critical illness and income protection are £££.
On the running, it could be eating before running or it could just be that you need to build up like you are doing. I can remember starting running and after 5 mins I would feel like I was dying. I think I just kept on with run/walk and tried to up the run and eliminate the walk. I remember one day realising that I had run for 15 mins and that I felt I could go on indefinitely and it wwas such a good feeling!

Oh I meant to say Trace my friend also has been told that she will have CS at 41 weeks if not in labour after CS first time round. My hospital seem to be much more blase about it. But I think I do need a sweep before 41 weeks ideally. Last time I had one before, but then 41 weeks was Xmas Day so not sure I would have got one then. Oh and I was told the 41 week thing was to discuss options, not do a sweep. But I shall ask them tomorrow when I ring hospital. It may be a combination of community midwifes being a bit slack and me being quite chilled out in general as I am not that bothered about having loads of appointments in general so I don't push for them. But if I can have things such as sweeps that will get this baby out then I should!
Ah also I should e-mail the acupuncture woman, I didn't get round to it before.

Just a quick one, I'm supposed to be checking in, not Mning.

Beans 30 day shred

Nice to hear from you, Nolda! Have a lovely time in Sweden - bet you will be totally fine. Also, as you know well, the drivers are about 1000% more polite than the ones here and there are far fewer cars on the road.

Welcome back Kiwi. Erm, does breast milk freeze? If so, could you start expressing a bit now and save it up for your trip? I know it won't be the same experience for her but at least it's the same stuff. As for being away from her, in my limited experience, as long as they have other people they love around them, they are just pleased to see you on your return.

Funny you mention contraception, Beans, as I was thinking about it this morning, and fretting. My consultant, whom I trust, insists a coil is the best option but I am squeamish about them and also, didn't Sybs get pregnant wearing one?? I don't really want to go on the Pill - it's not the best for people with polycystic ovaries. DP would never have the snip and can't be trusted with the withdrawal method after last time (hello DD2) - in fact can't really be trusted full stop as he never thinks anything will happen to him. Plus he would just keep having children indefinitely. So it's a quandrary. I looked into the cap last time, but didn't look like fun.

Trace, don't fret about the life insurance. I know it seems hugely invasive but tbh, darling, they'd be JUST the same if you'd got a gammy foot and hadn't mentioned it. Just keep in mind it's all run-of-the-mill 'business' to them, even though it's hugely personal to you. I have been looking into life insurance as we haven't got it and I really, really think we should. Also, my will is a bit scrappy and DP hasn't even got one, and we need to get on top of that. I know it's a gloomy topic but may I just remind people that intestacy laws in this country are a little arcane and your DH's estate would not pass entirely to you should anything happen, unless it was under a certain amount - the rest would go to DCs, which is fine, but it would be tied up in a trust until they were adults, which can make things v complicated. However, a simple will can sort all this out.

SUmmer, I do think agree are being a bit laissez-faire with you, given the section last time. I thought you'd have a baby by mid-week so clearly my powers of spookilydookily are evaporating....

No, don't say that LadyT!!! Maybe tonight.....

Trace She feeds a LOT when I'm with her (does the sign language for milk constantly..) but when she's at nursery she's absolutely fine with her oat milk - when I'm in sight, she wants it all the time... I guess I could express a bit just to keep it going then if she wanted it when I came back she could always build up my supply again for me..! Do you think expressing once a day would do it? Much more than that might be a bit tricky as I'll be out and about but I guess I could do that - and as you say that would leave my options open.

LadyT it does freeze, but when I'm not around she's ok wiht her oat milk so I reckon I might be too lazy to do that!

Oat milk sounds nice. I wonder if my DD would drink it? She drinks a fair amount of water from her sippy cup during the day, if it's nutritious, and I imagine it is. perhaps I could try putting that in sometimes instead.

Well Summer, either way we will have a June baby, a July baby, an August baby and a September baby on the thread. But you other three will have your second siblings in the class below your DC1s at school! Wowzers! You will look like right old shaggers to the Mums in the playground