August 08: World domination

[cyteen]

Thought the title might be appropriate for both mums and babies

Yes ts kind of on strike but if I don't do it the girlies will have no clothes etc so I better get a shifty on!!!

I too run all the finances (obviously) but I guess I weird in that I actually enjoy doing it and can kick h ass every time he goes over budget!! Small kicks for me but so worth it

evening all
blimey, lots of sad faces on here at the moment but at the same time, some amazing advice

firstly

dizz well done on the farm shop!!!!! that's amazing news!!!! so proud of you
as for your dad, if he didn't realise he'd had one, that's good news, no? the chiropodist (blimey, i spelt it right first time!) told me about my grandad's heart attacks. He was none the wiser!

qod i'm on the tyre eating diet because DH sorts all our money stuff so i can't really help in that sense. perhaps if you gave us a list of things you need, i'm sure between us we can sort you out. Re the maternity benefit thing... here's a health in pregnancy something or other than you need to apply for through your mw. how many weeks are you? think its done at about 25 weeks. well worth it though, i think it was about £200
How do your house finances work at the moment? ie how do you pay for a food shop for example?

crisp sorry to hear you're not having fun with the new car. sounds like a real pain in the bum, hope you get it all sorted. if anyone can, you can!

loti good luck with spain. i really hope your h makes a huge effort but at the same time, please don't count on it otherwise you'll be disappointed and won't enjoy your holiday

I have drafted an email to the garage here any thoughts gratefully received

DH thinks i'm really funny with money. I rarely buy stuff for me and whenever I do I feel really guilty about it! I don't earn much (its more for my sanity than the money!) so spending money on me seems really frivolous! I saw a beautiful soft toy yesterday and when i got home last night, i asked DH if he'd mind if i bought it for Pea. He thought it was hilarious because if it had been the other way round, the toy would already have been bought and brought home with him! He does need reigning in occasionally but when belts need to be tightened, he's usually the first to suggest it. Sorry, not meaning to rub anything in anyone's face here. Just been sitting here pondering and realising how lucky i am. Shit, i'll be the first to admit we've had our moments and I dare say we'll have many more but we do seem to end up on the same team at the end of it all.

right, i'm off to find out what he's planned for our dinner (i've been at work today,he's been a SAHD so he's definitely on dinner duty). My money is on him going 'oh, i haven't planned anything. shall we have a takeaway?'

That note sounds perfect Sazz!!

apparently he ate with DS!!! shocking!! so i've asked him what he's got planned for me...chinese takeaway apparently! i knew it! He's really funny. Said its only his second week of being a SAHD and knows he's not doing v well and feels really bad. I told him not to be so daft, that DS is obviously loving having him around (DS = DH's shadow!) and to come and make me some dinner

DH took DS to an airport today. (think he's put a vid on fb.) DS absolutely loved it and would only talk about planes, and demonstrating the noise they make whilst i was tryng to do bedtime tonight!

My "no worries" mood today is starting to become frazzled. I ordered diapers on the 1st and they shipped on the 2nd. It is the 6th and still no diapers. Reese is wearing her last one with a poop imminent. I purchased a quick, small pack on the 3rd to tied us over which OBVIOUSLY was a good thing. CRAP! I only online ordered to save money. GRRRRR!!!!! Blasted UPS tracking as NO DETAILS other than the ship date. GGGGRRRRRRR!!!!

crispy, read mail and then saw the other comments.. agree re taking the emotion out of it but it a very clear and concise mail.. cannot remember if you have already spoken the garage on these faults yet? if so what is their take on it?.. imo you were mis sold so therefore they should take the car back??

MrsM loving the quality time dh is doing with Ds ..

Re H and the holiday.. its a job done, we are finished, finto,over!! holiday will be hard as i don't want to even be in the same room as him HOWEVER it is for the girlies so i will be smiling morn/noon/night to keep them happy!!!

Once home the situation will be resolved in that he knows he has to move out!

Time for immediate and fast track potty training TS?

LOTI have you spoken to DH about this? Dis he just 'roll over' and accept it just like that? Good in some ways I guess, but harder he doesn't feel any need to fight/change to keep his family together

Am going to give the garage a ring tomorrow and one last chance.....

I've just sent DH out to the kitchen to do my dinner and he's multi-tasking... making himself a cup of tea whilst on the phone to his parents. Gotta love him!

loti crisp asked what i was going to ask, does he know he's moving out?

yeah he knows he is moving out.. obv doesn't want to but he has no choice really..

gave him the facts ie been away 18 soon to be 20 days this year already without me and girls..

seems to plan to go out and do stuff every weekend now which again doesn't include me and the girls..

goes to work mon-fri {to be fair works hard) and comes home expecting to be looked after whilst i do everything..

never ever gets up with the girls, takes them out, have one to one daddy time..

could list more but u get the picture... told him i was beyond exhausted, broken and truly cannot do it anymore.. its affecting my health and will start to have an impact on the girls..

i feel alot calmer now about things.. still terribly terribly upset but relieved iykwim??

TS get the potty out quick

Well done LOTI, you have been amazingly strong through this and dealing with your and DDs illnesses. I am very proud of you for actually taking those first steps, it must be very scary and very sad. {{{hugs}}}} and a big pat on the back

argh, we almost fell out... dinner wasn't happening so i've just made myself cheese on toast

loti, well done! so pleased you've had the chat with him. how did it take it all?

Crisp argh. How bloody annoying - I really have no idea what kind of rights you have in this situation.
dizz Argh again. Hope your Dad turns out to be ok
ts childminding definitely out. would have to do all kinds of training and get house all sorted for inspection which I can't do because of renting etc

mrsm I have a copy of DP's credit card, so now I essentially don't have to pick up groceries or anything out of my own money. I'm just too worried about money to go and buy stuff willy nilly. I don't want to go out and get stuff and then find he can't pay it off next month. The trainer thing as an example I waited until he had expressly said to buy myself a pair on the card before I went and did it. It's not so much that I need anything - I just need to get rid of this damned overdraft, and it feels like I have no way out - I can't get permanent work at this point because of being pg, trying to get temp work and they're being asses, and know in a few months time we'll have another one here and I STILL won't be able to earn money.
I feel like I have no independence whatsoever. I'm used to having my own money, and being on top of that kind of thing, and now I'm going to get marks on my credit rating and it's just bloody depressing.
Sorry to go on.

LOTI how on earth did I miss your post?!
We're all here for you. I think you're doing the right thing though.

Loti you have immense strength and courage to make the positive move for you and the girls. They will be rightly proud of you

Lol at bedhopping antics chez dizzy (and Hotpot) I'm kind of looking forwards to when the boys do share a room (if they want to) and snuggle up in bed together [awwww]

miamla your dh obv needs more practice at being a SAHD. How fab for him and ds to have this time together now, at such a lovely age for ds too. The world is really starting to come alive for our lo's isn't it?!

QOD hugs honey, money worries (anything else aside) are hard enough on their own. The very best thing you can do is talk to the bank and be honest with them. Most banks want to keep your business as ultimately they make money off you. Usually they only get arsey if you ignore their requests to come and talk to them (this I know from personal painful experiences!) You will feel a huge relief afterwards I'm sure. Also, CAB (as cyteen suggested) should be helpful too.

red how's redboy doing? Hope he's better soon.

crispy goodluck with kicking garage-arse What time do you want us round? I can bring my hockey stick?

To everyone else, TS, Spring, Cyteen, Hotpot, Albs, Pert, LNT, Steaky (where is she?) Hiya! x

arrgh, VG I missed you off! And OOPs, oh Lord I'm so sorry

Thanks ladies and for all your support and advice already given and very greatly appreciated ..

very rocky roads ahead but i've got the strengh that was so lacking previously so feel stronger iykwim.. gonna make this holiday as relaxing as i can for the girlies.. should not be on here should be packing ..

Qod wish i could help more hugs..

watcha cece

Miamla you make me laugh. Leave that man alone for crying out loud. It's his first week as a SAHD; he's got to find his groove.

Cyteen did I use the correct punctuation? LOL! Don't answer!!

Lucky I feel your calm strength. If you said it to him like you listed it hear he had no choice but to see the facts. Have a enjoyable holiday with the girls and their father.

Queenie you are married. That overdraft is just as much his as it is yours. That's how "married couples" work!

Well done LOTI. Good luck with your hol and we'll be here to hold your hand when you get back.

Sorry to hear about the money woes QOD. Everyone else has said far clearer and more sensible things than I could come up with but you do have my sympathy. How are you feeling now physically?

Congrats dizzy on the order. I always think of you when I pass that place after you brought gorgeous raspberries from there for lunch last summer. I shall make sure I pop in to buy some of the sought after baking and make sure they hear all the yum yumming So sorry to hear about your Dad.

Great to hear about your Lulworth Castle trip crispy. My DSis got married there and it's so close to my Mum's that if you found yourself run off the road by a middle aged woman driving badly that was probably her. Or if it was really bad, it was my Granny . Driving's not our family's strong point. V. sorry to hear about your car woes btw. Also v. for you.

Hello to all.

Virtually nothing to report here. Work v. quiet so spent today sorting out personal finances and holiday plans . DH and I ARE going to get our first night away together since DD2 was born in Sept. Decided against leaving the country but trying for not one but three night. Woohoo!

loti I am cheering you on MASSIVE RESPECT.

Should point out that we're not planning on leaving the girls home alone in September . Granny will be doing the honours.

Although not driving them around....

Think now might be the time to go to bed. Night all.

poppy are you anxious? DP and I are planning a mini-break in October instead of a full holimoon (going to do that next year) and I am secretly cacking it at the thought of leaving DS with MIL for two nights. Not because I have any lack of faith in her - he will be spoiled rotten and have a great time - but just, well, what if he misses meeeee?

TS arf I am thinking of you actually as I've managed to make a blisteringly hot chilli for tea.

cyteen we have only left the girls for 1 night so far, although i am thinking we could extend to 2 this year!

LOL @ PoppyMamma . Let us know when you are planning your next visit and we will try and coordinate another trip