May 2010: All the babies have arrived, welcome to the other side!

[rachelfruitloop]

Here we are ladies, a new Postnatal thread! I wonder if we'll fill this one up as fast with one-handed typing?!

wouldlike I was told with DD1 that it didn't matter if there was blood in the milk (though it did matter to me as it usually meant that I was in a great deal of pain!!). This time round i still have an open split nipple, but it doesn't hurt and it doesn't seem to be bleeding so I'm basically ignoring it.

first1 never think that you're a moaner! I whinge on here often enough and I'm not having to go through the half of what you're having to put up with... I certainly think you should complain as even if it is too late for you, if it means that they can learn something from this and avoid it happening to anyone else then that can only be a good thing.

As for sleeping, we had just cracked the 11pm-7am sleep and then we decided that we actually need to get DD2 to bed at a reasonable hour. So last night we put her to bed at the same time as DD1 (8pm) with a bath and a feed and so of course she only lasted until 4.15am. I'm trying to decide which I prefer - having our evenings back but having to get up in the night to feed, or having her up with us all evening but then getting 8 hours sleep. I'm just hoping that her 8pm-4.15an gradually stretches out a bit longer. We'll see how it goes and then maybe look in to giving a dream feed.

I went through all DD2's clothes yesterday and have now moved her in to 3-6 month stuff. Although she's not exceptionally heavy, she seems a bit long so looked uncomfortable in her sleepsuits so I thought I'd just move her up in everything. And of course as we haven't ruled out DC3, I now need to find housespace to put all the stuff she's grown out of...

cari, thanks, talked to the nurse today and you're absolutely right, it is nothing wrong with the blood in the milk, but as he is now 10 weeks old, gosh, nearly 11, and i haven't yet being able to establish breast feeding and still painful and bleeding and everything is going so wrong, they have decided that a lady gp, with extra training in pregnancy and babies will start seeing me to get to the bottom of this, it could be just thrush, so i am seeing her tomorrow and see what happens... i don't know how much i can't take tbh.
sleeping: we started doing 10 pm to 6 am, suit me fine, dh gets up at 6, anyway... but now we are starting a routine ish, 8.30 bath, 9 last feed and to cot, quiet time and when i check at 9.30 he is usually asleep, and still sleeps till 6 or 7, mind that helps we don't have any other children yet, so 10 ish dinner and bit of tv or something together and asleep by midnight, need to nap sometimes in the day if he doesn't sleep in until 9 in the morning, but... works for us.
such a me post. sorry feeling a bit blue today.

Happy birthday to older children Can't believe how quickly time passes, my DNiece is going to High School in September which seems like madness.

Corin is looking huge now, can't wait to get him weighed soon. DD was always tiny and slipping down the centiles whenever I got her weighed so it's nice to have one who is going up them!

First1 - definitely complain if you feel up to it. I wish I had complained to the hospital after DD's birth but never got round to it and I regret it.

wouldliketoknow Love your attitude and comments towards rude people. Made me smile.

homebirth How are you doing? Read your 2nd last post(I think) and you sounded quite down. Are you doing okay?

Having pretty awful couple of days here to be honest. Been feeling pretty confident etc over last few weeks and suddenly feel total crap and that I am doing a terrible job. Think it is largely to do with sleep. Sam has been pretty good all along. Generally down at 9 till 3/4ish. Then up at 6.30ish. That is pretty good but think the constant broken sleep and less than I need slowly wearing me down. I take a really long time to get to sleep so usually awake for 30 mins after putting Sam back to sleep. He is also being very noises wrestling about for about and hour before he wakes, so I'm awake for most of that too. Last two nights been particulaly bad, not sleeping till almost 12, then up at 2, then 4 and still awake at 6am.

He regularly does not really sleep at all through the day, maybe two wee 10 min catnaps if lucky. Breastfeeding was going really well, but suddenly he is pulling really hard at my nipple, scratching me with his mega sharp nails (despite filing them) and punching/kicking me. Seems to have more wind than normal too. He just seems grumpy all the time and feeds constantly. It is getting a bit much. I can't go anywhere for any lenght of time without feeding him even if he has had a mammoth feed within the lkast 30 mins. He seems to be constantly at the breast and I am stuck to the sofa. I have tried to go out places or visit people, but I end up feeding him the whole time. I wouldbe worried that he was not getting enough milk etc, but he has gained 23ozs in last two weeks! He never ever pulls away as if he has had enough and would suck constanly if I didn't finally unlatch him to go to loo or something. When I unlatch him he makes high pitched unhappy noises.

What am I doing wrong? Having really awful thoughts like he hates me or I am not taking care of him enough. Think just having really bad sleep deprived few days.

I have bought these colycynthis granules, so maybe they will help with bit of wind.

Just really hope he sleeps better tonight. Can handle the feeding schedule if I get some sleep.

Sorry for me post.

Sassles sorry you're having such a hard time of it at the moment - I don't have much advice to offer I'm afraid. DD2 has started taking longer over her feeds and is spending more time wriggling around (dragging my nipple with her ). She is also latching and then unlatching rather a lot.

This is what was happening before we had treatment for thrush and then it improved for a few days. I've actually booked an appt with the GP on Thurs to see whether it really has cleared up or not (and following the advice on here to get the oral treatment rather than the cream - I'll see if he can prescribe something better this time). wouldlike hopefully your visit to the GP this time will lead to an answer and it will also hopefully be something treatable like thrush so that you can get sorted out and then get motoring!

Put DD2 down at 8.20 and she was still wide awake. However I have not heard a peep from her since then. I'm having difficulty believing that she has learnt to self-settle in such a short time but we shall see...oops spoke too soon as I think I just heard a whimper from upstairs...

Oh God, Sassles - you sound exhausted. Two 10-min naps a day???! God!

My LO sleeps too much! Slept till 7am, then asleep again at 8.30am until 11am. Then awake for an hour and slept two hours... This afternoon she's had two naps and has just gone off again - and she'll sleep through until 7am again with just the odd waking for the boob (she doesn't cry, but the sound of her sucking her fist loudly wakes me up!).

What are everyone else's babies doing? How many hours asleep or awake between 7am and 9pm?

Everyone will say it - and it's true: sassles - it WILL get easier. Our babies are still so new; it takes them a while to get the hang of life. x

SK..hope DD1 had a lovely birthday.6 years has flown by..we had her two friends round but sadly the weather couldnt have been more horrific if it tried..its been pitch black all day and literally rain like steel rods..unrelenting..showers they said!

DD3 been out of sorts since yesterday..running a low grade temp and fretful.didnt get her to sleep until 3 am, then up again at 6..feel sick Im so tired.today she has done nothing but sleep but shes still feeding although Ive had to wake her to feed her..keeping an eye on her tonight

Sassles..tiny babies dont have the capacity to hate their mums...seriously you are doing nothing wrong and your baby lovrs you unconditionally because you are you..lack of sleep can make you feel horrific and cause your brain to start ticking over...DD3 quite often does the nipple wrenching thing, so I take her off..then put her back on..she knows that wrenching of nipples=no milk..I think maybe they get frustrated sometimes because they have to work hard to BF...could you have a chat with your HV?

Happy birthday Girlies- 6, How very grown up! Hope you both had fab days.

First1- not a moaner at all. You have alot to deal with at the mo and it must be good to get it off your chest. We are here to listen

Schipo- Glad the lumps have gone.

Tomlin- How cute DS and the Alfie books. DD has time out in her room too. 9 out of 10 times when I go back up after a few mins shes laying on her bed telling her teddys that shes "being silly"

Pamlet- Saw on FB your having a better day today

Happenedagain- Glad things are going well

Carikube- I too cant bare to throw anything away yet (just in case!)

Sassles- Of course your not doing a terrible job! It will all seem better after a good nights sleep so hope it improves soon.

Hobnob- Fab sleeping! Lucy varies but usually a nap mid morning then a longer sleep after lunch then another late afternoon.

On sleep- The past 4 days Lucy has really started fighting her daytime sleeps. Its soooo draining. Try to settle her for about an hour for 20 mins nap! I know shes tired and her eyes are rolling.
She also seems to have lost her ability to sleep through anything! Shes turned into a light sleeper too which really isnt great with a noisy toddler running around! Soo all that time getting her to finally go off for her to wake at the slightest noise.
Feeling very drained by it at the mo.

Preparing dinner has been near on impossible the past 2 nights. The furthest ive got with shepherds pie for dinner is to boil an pan of water for the spuds! DD1 is getting tired and moany/dramtic and Lucy is fighting sleep.
Last night I abandoned shepherds pie for pasta and tonight DH went to the chippy.

Wondering now about putting Lucy upstairs in her basket or cot for daytime naps too. She just seems so tiny.. What do others do?

hello all you lovely ladies.

I am just marking my place - I have been hectic and not had chance to catch up.

I will read the thread and catch up properly before posting.

lack of sleep is my problem though - dd2 just wont sleep!!

pigleychez..we have bought a travel cot and placed it in our second sitting room..I pit dd down in there for a nap..but as a general rule she doesnt sleep much in the day

hi all,

sorry i cant catch up with all the posts and it might be a bit of a me post, depends on Virginia really.

her feeding has become erratic, maybe 5 mins, maybe longer but she seems to be pulling off a lot then crying, if i give her a quick suck of a dummy she will go back on but again, not for long. i am worried my milk supply will disappear.

she seems happy enough when she is first awake, cooing, smiling etc and loves her bath, but after about 30mins she is tired and wants to sleep. during the day i can get her to sleep by cuddling her, but as soon as i put her down she starts to wake again. she probably doesnt get much sleep during the day, maybe 2 or 3 half hour 'power naps'. sometimes in the morning, like today, she may do an hour or two. i am knackered but so sick of a dirty house i feel the need to run round cleaning if she is asleep, so today, dusted middle floor of house and hoovered all stairs and landings, mopped porch, it isnt actually brown, its black and white. have also washed my bedding and hung it out, of course it is now pouring down

at night, our lovely 2 hour pattern has become 1 hour, and thats from beginning of one (short) feed till the next. yes, i am feeling a bit down, but like others say, i think its just lack of sleep.

a friend had her baby the other day, at home as planned, i am so so very happy for her, but it made me cry for hours afterwards (on and off) about how my birth plan and actual birth were so totally different.

it all doesnt matter though when i look at Virginia and she looks at me with such total trust and love, it is impossible not to feel the tears well up with love for her. the fact that she is here, and perfect, (those little fingers that she likes to wrap around mine when she is feeding) takes away all the negative feelings of disappointment, tiredness, frustration etc

i feel like DH and i are struggling to find any time for each other, he is working all day, comes home, spends some time with baby, then i am cooking and feeding baby, eventually get her to bed, then i am exhausted want my bed, he wants to do things for himself (ok stuff like sort bank statements and other important stuff) but i feel like we need to drag ourselves back together before it goes too far, anyone else experiencing this?

oh my, i am rambling arent i!

last day of term for my older 3 today, i am looking forward to spending some proper time with them, they have been so busy they havent really had a chance to properly get to know their baby sister, at least they are not showing any signs of jealousy.

am thinking that if (would like that to be when)i have another baby, much as i would like it now, i am planning on really enjoying Virginia's early years and so will aim to have another sometime soon after her 3rd birthday.

first1 you are not a moaner, you actually sound quite positive despite all your difficulties.

to everyone else, i do read your posts, i am thinking of you and hope you are all having a good day today,
much love!

hi all

I've been lurking the past few days as busy and only get on when doing night feeds and impossible to properly do personals on phone at night

Also the night feeds haven't been as frequent or lasting as long since the weekend. Yay. Touching wood frantically. She has a good nap at lunchtime and wee naps the rest of the day with no real pattern. We haven't any routine in place as we just believe in letting things happen. We almost never set her down as she complains. And we co-sleep. If I need to do stuff I pop her in my sling which frees my hands. The house is a tip though.

hollyoaks hope the holiday went well and you're getting through the post-holiday laundry. We're going on holiday in 2.5 weeks but it's not much of a holiday for us Mummys. We're thinking about buying a caravan so we get away more but DH not keen. He likes to go long haul but not an option now we have three and even more so if we have a fourth.

sassles they probably will although a vbac but won't induce you. I was induced as overdue with ds but went into labour spontaneously with both dds. Who knows what might happen next time for any of us - if there are next times of course

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. These babies who are pulling off and messing around. Grrr! I found with dd1 that if I changed position or even went up to bed and fed her lying down that there were fewer distractions and she fed better. Worth a try? Well done on the weight gain.

millingtonsmummy hope the visit is going well and that Harry is recovering from his cold. 2nd and subsequent babies always seem to get more bugs - unhygienic sibs being over generous I would guess.

carikube congrats on the christening. Seriously impressed at managing to organise it and cope with it so soon.

hi first1 glad you have a plan to get yourself sorted. I don't think you moan at all and you're doing so well. There's nothing wrong with complaining and I reckon you should. I would love to meet my new online mummy friends but living in NI means it's unlikely I'll ever meet most of you unless you happen to have a meet up when I happen to be in England visiting DH's family.

heffa eek scary

Re dtd - still no progress. The fact that Molly is in our bed and surgically attached to my boobs is a factor. DH is frustrated but I am not at all bothered. Must make an effort soon. Have been working on the pelvic floor exercises to improve matters when we do get round to it.

schipo hope the boobs are behaving better now

tomlin glad you're getting on top of your sib problems. DD1 is still varying between a great help and a major sulk.

Re more babies and DMs - mine will go mad! She has already asked me what we're doing about contraception

wouldliketoknow well done on speaking back to these eejits. Hope you get some answers' to the nipple problems. I'm very impressed that you're still sticking at it.

iha I'm very impressed with the swimming. We haven't been yet but will do on holiday. Molly didn't cry in her bath last night for the first time so she might be a water baby yet.

pigley try ml's idea or else a sling. I find you can do most things when babe is strapped on.

hbmummy sorry you're so down. Glad it went well for your friend but understand the sense of loss being increased by it going so well for someone else. I'm also finding it tough to connect with dh at all. He's entertaining the big ones and I'm so focussed on Molls. We watched a film together yesterday that we really enjoyed - "The Damned United." We're both Nottingham Forest supporters so it was great nostalgia. In fact without Clough and Forest I'd never have gone to Nottingham uni and we'd never have met! Can you reconnect over a dvd or something easy - Molly was on the boob most of the time we were watching it but it still felt like it was all about me and him.

Molls got her jabs yesterday and was really upset and grumpy afterwards but is back to normal now. She weighs 12lb 14 at 8 weeks. The big monster!!

molly are you from nottingham? I am. Sorry if I am meant to know, sleep deprived still hear

am very jealous of all your good sleepers. alex asleep by 730pm happily each night but wakes 10, 2 and 5 on a good night. last ight was 10, 1, 3, 430 and 6 - horrible. DD1 was up 11pm and 1230 ish too wanting to wee but refusing in her nappy!!! am so very tired

day naps, 3 half hour ones today, yesterday had 2 hours at lunch as i was out and about which was heavenly
feeds, got quicker 15 mins or so each side but 2 hourlt still

tired today. good job hes so lovely

hi all
re conecting with partner, we also do it over telly in the evening when oscar is asleep, no dtd yet, but can't be much longer...

nipples, i want them surgically removed, no, seriously, nice lady gp, gave me a cream, and told me to feed only from the boob that hurt less, atm, but there aren't many more things we can try, so gave me the speach of there is nothing wrong with formula and you need to think if you still want to bf, i read why won't you give up, bloody woman?, so i told her i am resolute to bf whatever the cost, besides, i tried to stop several times and i can't stop crying with guilt until i get back again, so....now, we are feeding from one boob, cream and expressing the other, i'll switch in a few weeks, to get everything properly heal, top ups of formula, and when everything is ok, we'll start normally again, and see what happens, apparently, this is still damage from the first few weeks when i didn't have milk,

dh and I dtd deed once but I dont have any interest at the moment and I got upset the other week when I was wearing a top and he joked about not going out in it (because my tummy was over hanging) we have a friendly jokey relationship and he didnt understand why I got upset and swore at him (in front of DD - ooopsss!!)

we mainly "discuss" who has the hardest life

Hi all,

Weeks have gone by since I was last on here it seems. Haven't got time to catch up on the last ten pages I'm afraod but I'll add my two pence worth to the discussions currently in the mix.

pigley I normally put Albie down in his rocker for daytime naps, to try and differentiate day and nightime sleeps. He just won't sleep in his crib in the day!

His sleep routine is improving a lot, especially over the past week or so. I give him a bath at 8 or 8.30, then a nice massage and final feed then he sleeps until 3, a feed for 20 minutes then he goes back down until about 5.30. Not ideal, but DP takes him into the lounge and he'll sleep in the rocker until 7 ish. I'm trying out the Baby Whisperer's techniques I've been watching on Discovery Homes and Health, but need to get the book really. He is pretty good really, getting into the E.A.S.Y routine, having a hour and half nap in the morning, an hour at lunch then a couple of cat naps in the afternoon.

homebirthmummy I feel the same about not spending time with DP. When gets in from work I cook dinner then like you head to bed once ALbie is down. He has been going out a lot over the last couple of weeks too and was sleeping on the sofa all night which made me feel terrible. I thought to myself 'I might as well be doing this alone' you know?

sassles I know what you mean by being chained to the sofa. Albie wants feeding so often, I feel I can't go anywhere. Yesterday was the first time we went out and I didn't have to BF all the way round sainsbury's with him in the sling. He was just sleeping peacefully then woke up but was chilled out until we got in the car. All my friends and family are sick of seeing my massive boobs and nipples! I have no idea to of how to get him to go longer in between feeds. He's not a big baby either, just a boob fan.

molly dtd is not something we've overcome either! Tried last week but it was too painful, then started getting frisky on Sunday but then the baby woke up. I'm a bit tense and nervous about it now so it's bound to hurt even more! I feel too fat and tired mostly anyway

Well things are ticking along ok here. Like I said, his nighttime sleeping is a lot better, just wish he's stop waking at 5.30, it's only because it's light. He rarely feeds! Just drops off back to sleep in the lounge while DP potters about getting ready for work and snoozes. Had out postnatal check the week before last. The doc didn;t check me over at all, just recommended using condoms instead of going back on the pill. Didn't even check my dodgy stitches or anything. Albie is growing well- following the 50th centile- but the doc thought he heard a heart murmur. I'm not worried but we have an appointment at the hospital in a few weeks to see a paediatrician to double check. I put all his newborn clothes into a underbed storage bag today, it made me feel quite sad. He is almost 9 weeks so due the next size up! He has been bought so many clothes as gifts we haven't bought anything 0-3 months! So I bought a new romper for him yesterday as I wanted to choose something for myself. I'll keep the nice/neutral newborn stuff (which it mostly is) for next time around. But like you say homebirth I'll wait until he's at least 3, maybe until he's started school. If I can wait that long!

We're sorting our flat to sell, it sucks being stuck in a first floor one bed flat with a baby in the summer. By the time we have a house it'll be winter and we won't be able to enjoy the garden. Weird news, our downstairs neighbour died of a stroke on Friday, he was only 46. His flat is for sale too so god knows what will happen with that.

Albie has his jabs on Friday so will try and take him swimming after that hopefully he stopped crying in the bath a couple of weeks ago so fingers crossed he's a water baby!

WOW this is a long post! Sorry about that, I'll try and tune in more often.

Hi pamela. I'm from Belfast and dh is from near Boston in Lincs but I went to Nottingham university and lived in Nottingham for 6 years. I chose Nottingham as I was a Forest fanatic in those days. Still follow them - hoping to catch a match when visiting dh's family in October. Ds and dd1 not too keen. Maybe Molly will be more keen.

hey kaffacakes, are you in a position to buy downstairs flat and convert both so you have a house??????

or is that just nuts??

Sassles - sorry you're having a tough time Re: his nails, I know this sounds a bit gross but I bite the nails of my 2 to keep them short and it's very effective at making sure they're not sharp.

Pigley - we try and put Corin down in his basket for daytime naps. He fights sleep as well but always seems happier once we've put him in it (I think he enjoys sleeping in it). I stay with him for a bit until he drifts off. Otherwise, the sling is amazing. He'll fall asleep almost instantly in it and it lets me get on with other things. He sleeps better in it as well and it means he can't really be disturbed by DD. I have a Sleepy Wrap which seems quite good.

Homebirthmummy - I think it's normal to feel a bit disconnected from your DH. We've been OK this time around but struggled a bit after DD was born. We found just making time to have a cup of tea together helped.

Pamelat - glad you've had a better day, can understand why you were annoyed with your DH though!

Trying to catch up, Jacob asleep in his cot upstairs for once, well he's grizzling but I am leaving him to try and settle.

kaffacakes - I used to live in flats too and DP and I were saying yesterday we were so happy to be in a house now. Oh I am sure I have a copy of the Baby Whisperer somewhere if you want to e-mail me if you are on FB I will send it to you.

Jacob's naps all over the place still, I think he prefers sleeping in his swing, he's getting so heavy for the sling now as well.

I think after 4 DC in quick succession, DP and I have just come to accept that our relationship will suffer. Some days it feels like we are just coparents. Still we wanted it like this and it's not forever.

pamelat - I agree good job they are lovely

Best be off now sounds like he isn't settling, he is shattered as well

homebirth we have been looking into it! it looks as though it'll be too pricey but would make a lovely victorian semi, and big!Wish we could afford it.

Phew, Albie has finally gone down. He was going down at 9 having settled himself but has been a rigt pain in the arse this past few nights and I've had to feed him to sleep or put him in the vibrating rocker. It's frustrating and making me very tense! Think I'll head off to bed now. DP has just back from football and STINKS. Hope he showers before bed. YUCK.

Hi ladies.
I've been to a postnatal pelvic floor class today; was a special one for women at high risk of incontinence (which I am cos of having a spinal, an episiotomy, forceps delivery & haematoma ...there are several high risk factors) I've been totally scared stiff about incontinence and sat there practising my exercises the whole way through the talk ladies- do them! Even if you don't have any leakage problems now, they can develop 3 to 4 months postnatally as the muscle deteriorates if it hasn't been rehabilitated
Liiiiift...aaaaand release

kaffa I'm terrified about dtd too thing is I am quite ready to in an emotion sense but downstairs still so sore that I know it will be ages yet! Meh.

homebirth I know just what you mean about the birth experience. A friend had her first baby a couple of weeks ago and got a water birth- she was saying how amazing it was and I could have cried with jealousy just seems so unfair as I wanted that so much. But I think it's unhealthy to dwell on what could have been- as you say; they are so worth it however they got here. Have you tried writing down everything about your birth experience & hy it disappointed you? I found it helped to spill all in my diary!

ML Your poor dd2. There is a 6 year gap between me and my little sister and we are the best of friends. Your dd2 and 3 will definitely be playmates later on I was besotted with my baby sister & took care of her loads growing up. Now she is 19 & I'm 25 we are very close

SK I'm sure you will miss these days of your kids all being young once they have all flown the nest. Then you and dp won't know what to do with yourselves in an empty house with all the time in the world (the stage my parents are at now..they also had 4 kids we have all left now..they love it when we all come back for a weekend but also a relief when we leave again )

We've also had a breakthrough of Jude not crying in the bath today only his second bath with Daddy (a friend recommended one of us get in with him; we hadn't thought about it before) and he even smiled it was so lovely will become 'boys time' now and hopefully be a nice activity for dh to do when he gets in from work

Morning! 6 hours between feeds overnight. Go Molly.

wouldliketoknow re nip healing. I prescribed the ingredients for a patient for the chemist to make up Jack Newman's cream - will try to get a link. It contained anti thrush, anti bacterial and healing stuff. Also jelonet dressing cut to size and covered with lansinoh is very good. You should be able to buy jelonet or get it prescribed by gp. I have some here as I assumed I'd get nipple fissures like with the other two but seems like I've got away with it. If you sent me your address I could pop it in the post x

Link ??? (I'm rubbish at links)

breastfeeding.about.com/od/nippleproblems/qt/triplenipple.htm

otherwise google "all purpose nipple ointment" - all the ingredients will need to be prescribed as not available over the counter in UK. A good pharmacist of the old fashioned, not a chain like Boots etc, variety will happily make it up.

a quick post been poorly since yesterday with some horrible bug..felt hot and achey, very sick and horribly dizzy (more than is normal for me)..somehow got through the day with a combination of paracetamol and stugeron..kept DD3 off the breast as I virtually took the whole packet..had to give her some formula which I hated doing especially as we have to give her soya which stinks and cant be anywhere near as nice as breasmilk

DD2 had a fab party yesterday at a local soft play centre with a disco..she got some gorgeous pressies inc 3 boxes of Aqua beads..so my kitchen is covered in them now..

being 6th seems to have turned DD into Violet Elizabeth Bott..Im hoping its just overtiredness