Morning all...
Still tearing my hair out here.
BF clinic said she's a very poorly co-ordinated feeder. Swallowing more air than anything else and so have given me a new position to try. But she hates it so I have to talk her through feeding just so she won't cry instead. Also said she's got thrush on her tongue (been to the docs TWICE already but they said not), so went back again yesterday after the BF clinic to get thrush medicine.
Said she may grow out of the worst of it in the next few weeks and to possibly try cranial osteopathy if nothing else helps.
HV just been and not really offered much help but to say keep doing what I'm doing. She stayed a while (DD was asleep) and made a hasty retreat after she woke up screaming. No patience...
Anyway - responses:
Thanks everyone for your advice and kind words, it is so very nice to know that people are supportive rather than quietly judgy. I was desperate to give DS some time yesterday so after walking for ages - though DD was asleep, stopped off at the park to have some fun with him - she woke up screaming after about 15 seconds. So I ignored her a tried to give DS some attention - but I left in tears after 15 mins as so many other mums were giving me evil looks for ignoring her. Like I can do anything to shut her up even if I try?!?
sweetkitty what sling do you use - my dad is going to buy me one to try but its such a minefield... Was thinking of a kari-me.
alle01 you ARE doing a great job bf, it is such a hard thing to get right - it took me nearly 16 weeks with DS (with a severe tongue-tie) but once you do it is utterly wonderful. Have you tried hand expressing a little before putting your LO to your breast - it can help the let-down start and baby might fuss less? I have also wondered if it is possible for babies to break an arm/leg/finger during birth or other method (overly zealous hug from a big brother?) as there simply has to be something wrong - no-one can cry this much for no reason. Surely?
luckyc I have tried feeding DD more, but think that may have made things worse - she tries, but is too full (milk or wind I'm not sure) and gets even crosser. Plus if it reflux it would make it worse. But either was I spent a few days making the mistake of feeding her just to keep her quiet but it deffo didn't help.
anangelwithin keep going with the bf!! Get as much help/support as you can from local friend or clinics, but don't beat yourself up about struggling, I literally couldn't understand how getting a baby to suck something could be SO HARD before having a baby - but it does take time to learn. It's absolutely worth the effort in the long run though!
*hobnob& have tried white noise - it seems to actually be the only thing that will keep her quiet long enough to go to sleep, but it doesn' last - she wakes up shortly after (with a pain...?) and cries again. Even with the white noise still on. And very loud!
alexw AM SO JEALOUS OF YOUR SLEEP!!!!! Well done you - what routine are you following? One of your own, or the dreaded Gina Ford?
Pigleychez I meant to ask the doctor yesterday about reflux medicine and forgot. Bum. Surely if she thought that was what the problem was she'd have mentioned the drugs to me...?
Sassles thanks for such sweet words - lets be the crying sisters holding hands across the internet. It doesn't matter if its day one or week three - its still that hardest thing to go through (and I've been through a bit in my life) and so tiring. Fingers crossed both babies learn to be more contect soon for both our sakes!
kateyjane again thanks for being so sweet - unfortunately the car doesn't work. I drove for over an hour yesterday with her crying the whole time, but at least I didn't have to hold her - I ache from the effort of keeping her quiet. Poor DS was not happy about having to sit in the back and listen to her though...
memorylapse I have had a few moments where I have had to walk away - the futility and frustration becomes so all-consuming. I an in awe of you coping that long - 4mths is hard enough let alone a year. Dear god please don't let this last that long.
carikube thanks for the offer of help - we went to Soton General get her tongue-tie fixed - perhaps you might have heard her crying on the way past? hehe. If I get really desperate I will try and contact you as Soton is not that far - especially if we were to meet half way.
homebirthmummy4 hope you're feeling brighter and trying not to let the past upset you too much. I know its cliche but the important thing to remember is that you can't change what has happened already, just move on. If you need to consider talking to someone about it I think there are professional post-birth counselling people you can talk to - or if you want to talk to a stranger over the phone I'll happily give you my number!! Free (non-professional!) listening service...
firs1 I feel such a loser whining about how hard things are for me when you're going through such a hard time. I hope you manage to settle into a solution that works ok for both of - if that is apart or together. My parents stayed together for the sake of the kids and it was awful, but I'm shocked by how insensitive your (D)H has been to you - post-birth weeks are so hard without this added stress.
Finally Den. Agreed - STOP GOOGLING. Every case is different and you will stress yourself out reading worst case scenarios which may very well not apply to you. The timing of this is weird though because my nephew has gone into hospital today for the same operation you mentioned, his form of craniosyntosis is called scaphocephaly. I am by no means an expert but if you're interested I would be happy to let you know what the procedure is going to be for him - but bear in mind, as I said, that every case is very different. You're probably much better to wait and see what the doctor/specialist says and then do some research.
Phew - what a mammoth post. Hope I haven't missed anyone, and again, thanks so much for all the support. It really means so much.
Over and out...