April 2009 - Episode 13 - 'I've been looking for the exit for months!'

[Schulte]

Fanjo Warriors, here we are

Keeping fingers crossed for you Schulte. And have got 30th pencilled into the diary - let me know

I haven't had a moment to breathe this weekend. I am actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow so that I have a break... is that wrong?!

Bicnod and Schulte, just as well you're organising your social life here or it'd be completely silent!

I'm a bit glum. I was pregnant for a few weeks but have been bleeding all weekend. It's slowing down now. Obviously not the end of the world but still a bit sad. Does anyone know if I'm supposed to go to the doctor's or just let it run its course? Can't see the point of wasting their time.

Love to all xxx

Zulu When I lost one of mine early (6weeks) I just let it run it's course. Nothing else can really be done as I understand it so early.

Hugs.

So Moo had a broken foot (I suspected but was not sure).
She hurt it in the US just before we went to Colorado. And I let everyone talk me out of being worried and taking her the the doctor. Apparently, according to the doctor I took her to today (because she's not been walking right on it- rolling it over on it's side- and I finally felt I had to listen to myself) she would have been in a cast for these 3 weeks, but only so she would not damage it any more. And it's pretty much healed just fine by the look of the x-rays. I'm supposed to keep an eye on her and follow up if she's not walking better by the end of next week again.
I just feel like such a shit mother for letting people talk me out of my worry.

Zulu, I'm so sorry to hear that sending enormous hugs to you. I think you probably should go to get checked out just to be on the safe side, I would. You won't be wasting their time.

We've been TTC for 6 cycles now but nothing doing - beginning to feel a bit anxious that there might be something wrong.

Bebe - you are not a shit mother, it is hard to ignore all the 'helpful' voices and listen to your instincts sometimes when you just feel like a fussy first-time mum. Glad it sounds like Moo will be ok.

I'm so so so tired. Bed for me.

Oh Zulu, that's shit. I'm so sorry.

Zulu, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Get checked out, and then take special care of yourself for a while.

Bicnod, I don't think 6 cycles is v long given that you are very tired. FWIW we began TTC the first time around just after I had handed in my PhD. Nothing for 6 mths - until my viva, and then I got pregnant the very next cycle. I'm convinced my body only let it happen once I was able to cope with it!

bebe, it's easy to let people talk you into thinking you are over-reacting, don't feel guilty about it. Hope the foot gets fully better soon...

Mad here, no time to post much, but I do check in from time to time to spy on Schulte and Bicnod's social life see how you all are.

Bebe, poor Meg. Sounds like no harm done though. I always find the line between over-anxious mother and justifiably concerned mother a difficult one to tread.

Bicnod, I think what AA says is right. I think it's almost harder to cope with 2nd time round though - you expect your body to be able to cope right away since it's already managed one.

AA nice to see you! Hope all is well.

I went to the GP. Not my usual one, made me feel like I was wasting his time a bit. Bloody doctors [harrumphing emoticon] .

Sorry to hear that, Zulu. I think unless there's pain or you get a temperature things usually run their course, but you can always go to a sympathetic GP and ask them to check things over.

Bebe, one of mine had a broken collar bone for a whole flipping week once, and complained politely he could not get his sweatshirt on only to get little sympathy from me. It all came to a head when I sent him around the garden and onto the climbing frame to 'burn off his energy' and 'get some fresh air'. He winced as he came down the slide. I then took his top off and noticed he had a chuffing great lump on his collar bone. We then went to A and E and the broken collar bone was confirmed. It turned out another child had attacked him at school and hurt him , but we never did get to the bottom of what went on as DS and the only witness were only 5. Anyway, it healed very quickly and he has forgiven me and remains untraumatised.

Thanks ladies. Hope everyone is enjoying the outdoors, tennis or footie.

Love to all.

Finding the stopping bf very difficult...know it's my hormones...but the crying is cutting me to the bone

reassure me or do you have info abt continuing?

Hello lovelies.

So DH is having an operation on his collar bone on Monday. Feeling very anxious about it. Apparently 95% of collar bone breaks fix themselves, DH just happens to be one of the lucky 5%

There are quite a few of us TTC at the moment aren't there?

Bicnod very 'lucky' Hopefully it goes very smoothly. Fingers crossed for you.

as for ttc...Dh says every time I act a little 'different' that I'm 'definitely pregnant.' (to which I roll my eyes) It doesn't help with keeping it stress-free....

Hello I'm back from holiday. Just marking my place till I've got time to catch up.

Sniff sniff sniff

Mary Portas is officially not my new bf, as someone suggested on this thread recently after the live webchat.

I just went to London for the focus group she was running. It was one of the most disorganised things I have ever been to. We sat around for ages being fed cheap carbs, and nobody told us what was going on. We then went into a big room with a stage and there were about 5 rails of clothes we were supposed to look at, which we duly did. We expected people to ask us about what we thought of them but most of us were more or less completely ignored. I found it hard to see and hear what was going on generally.

Some women went up on stage to model certain badly made clothes from high street chain stores, but the discussions they were all having were very mundane and didn't make any interesting points like in the webchat, plus it was all very circular and repetitive. I pushed off at lunchtime instead of staying the whole day, because I was bored to death and my hips were hurting. Plus the clothes were dire and I would not have fitted most of them. I felt very hot and fat.

But you know the worst of it? It cost me £62 in travel and a day of my life (including travel time) and they are not even reimbursing my costs. £62 is a huge amount of money for this family at the moment, money we cannot really afford to lose.

What sort of mug am I, to get induced to go along with this? Spending my own money and comfort eating cheap crap to feel so miserable about myself?

Oh Boff, how rubbish. Sorry.

Very Poo Boff Sounds terrible.

I have emailed the producer and told her what I thought of it all. I know one or two other women are planning to do the same.

Had a better day today. Had a research meeting in London and it went very well. Got the impression the Government might actually be interested in giving kids a few civil liberties back.

That sounds interesting. Are you allowed to elaborate?

Right, he's asleep but for how long? Ready steady go!

Schulte that the house move looks definitely on. How's it progressing? for H's exzema.

MrsA I'm really sorry about your dad.

WFH sorry work is grim. Well done for hanging in there and getting your half day from home.

Puzz how is the sleeping now for 8 hours (8 minutes was good for us yesterday)

Zulu so sorry to hear about your loss. How are you feeling today?

Bicnod wow plenty going on for you at the moment. How is DH? As others have said 6 cycles is not actually that long TTC. It took me nine cycles with DD and I put on tonnes of weight in stress eating. Four with DS1 and three with DS2 both felt like years as well, so I sympathise.

Bebe about Meg's foot. It is so difficult ever to judge when to see a dr about a baby - have had many conversations with mums about this in the past. Have you come to any firm conclusions about the weaning. FWIW my DS1 was the most "addicted" seeming child I knew. I had dread confrontations in public with him when he was well over 2 (I have a v. thick skin it turns out) but eventually he did self wean just after Edmund was born. It was so untraumatic that it took me a while to realise it had happened.

Boff sorry about the rubbish day out.

We had a lovely holiday in Orkney. It was a little dominated by the epic journey (though the sleeper was bliss - by far the best journey I've had on it). And we went with child free friends who got up three hours later than me and then had little naps when they got home from the day's activities, but it was great. I went to a couple of St Magnus Festival events and we all saw some fabulous sites - mostly neolithic tombs but also a Martello tower and Napoleonic era barracks, lots of wildlife and landscape and even an arts centre crammed with Barbara Hepworths and modern stone sculptures. I think it has all broadened DS1's horizons a little and Edmund did a lot of walking and getting into mischief.

E failed his hearing test again today though or rather [worry]. He probably can hear okay in fact, looking at the results, it#s just he loses interest in the test half way through and refuses to do any more. He is completely stubborn. He's also teething and having separation anxiety so spends most of the day screaming down my ear about my various shortcomings as a mother. I was vile to DS1 this morning and it was mostly down to exhaustion. And heat.

So that's me. And I'm off to watch telly tidy up while E is finally asleep in his bed.

Lovely to hear from you, MrsG. When you call E's name, does he react? Have you got any reason to suspect he can't hear well, apart from the test obviously?

Not many news here, we're still waiting to move and work is still shit. I am vile to DD1 on a fairly regular basis I just can't help it, I feel so stressed when I get home from work and also she's pushing her boundaries quite a bit at the moment. Planning to leave my job though so hopefully things will get better.

Hazel is toddling all over the place and knows where I keep the raisins. She'll stand in the kitchen, point at the cupboard and say 'there-go, there-go' until I give her some. That's her only word by the way, apart from 'row, row, row' (which she actually sings). Odd child but then DD1's first word was 'Dackel' (German for dachshund)

DH and I will get our first night off this weekend but I am worried we won't even know what to talk about and that we'll wake up at 6am anyway, even away from the dds.

Lots and lots of hugs to MrsA and Zulu. I hope you're doing okay.

Orkney sounds great. I never thought of going there.

I'm not sure how much I can say at this stage, but basically a lot of people are concerned about the use of biometrics and CCTV in schools, as it seems to be fairly excessive at the moment, and growing. Businesses are very good indeed at selling these systems to schools. There are also concerns about databases which record information about children, and which are sometimes shared as well, which raises important questions of ethics and consent. I think the general feeling is that we need to get back to trusting young people more, and not assuming they always are up to something dodgy, or need tracking and checking up on constantly.

I am quite shocked at the extent of what is going on - CCTV filming of children getting changed or going into the loos (presumably not actually ON the loo, however), coercing them to use filthy biometric fingerprint readers replete with threadworms and staph bugs, spending so much money on primary school biometric library systems that they have to cut back on sport provision, that kind of thing. It's almost as though society has had a collective nervous breakdown about what it is supposed to be doing with its children during the day.

Because I research this type of stuff day in, day out, sometimes I despair, I really do. However another part of me thinks it is important work for the benefit of all, and I should keep going. I do know how Schulte feels at the moment, though, as doing this in the present restrained public sector funding climate is very difficult, and keeping going whilst keeping home life balanced is a challenge, to say the least.

Hello Fanjo Warriors,
After two horrendous nights with A waking and wailing endlessly, maybe teeth, maybe the fact that it is 32° in our bedroom, maybe both, we have shifted him to a travel cot in a cooler part of the room, and we are sleeping down in the living room. Except that, of course, since he has not woekn once, I am having an insomnia attack.

Amongst various stressful factors, I feel guilty about DS1 as I too am being vile. He is being a pain, but I don't know if he is being an extraordinary pain or just a 5yr old who is worried that his Mummy only loves his little brother, not him [dixit DS1] . I do know that I have no patience at all, and that he drives me round the bend every single day. Not sure that makes you feel better, Schulte, but you are definitely not alone.

Boff, that sounds horrendous about the child surveillance methods in the UK. Sarko'd probably love them, but even he can't sanction slashing teacher numbers by 50% and then paying for video cameras. I hope.

And your Mary Portas experience sounds grim.

How are you, Zulu?

How is the dropping BFing going, bebe? A is still having one night feed, but has been wanting another one lately. Hence the wailing, as I have been refusing. I am tempted to give in, as it is so much easier than hours of him alternating restless shifting in his cot and bouts of wailing. But I think that at this age, and with my level of exhaustion, I should try and resist. It's tough.

How is your DH, Bicnod?

Right, I am going to get some work done, as sleep is so damn elusive.