April 2009 - Episode 13 - 'I've been looking for the exit for months!'

[Schulte]

Fanjo Warriors, here we are

Bron we all know that SAHM IS a job! such silliness comes out of people's mouths. I quit MN for a while because of similar reasons. Felt the world at large (on MN) was against me. The thing to do is be proactive abt your situation. Focus on the little triumphs and goals you've set for yourself and value yourself according to your own rules.
You're a good mother and friend. Take heart.

I have caved at the first hurdle. Now she can say please in just the sweetest voice possible, I can't bear to say no.
Ellen was easy because she was 2.5 so we were able to chat about it and agree to stop. I really don't want to keep going for another 10 months though.

And we have all been there feeling like the worst parent in the world. I have certainly had my times where I think all I have done all day is moan. If you children are like mine your grumpiness has probably barely registered with them so stop feeling bad.

That sounds like a good idea. Thanks Bebe, I will give that a whirl.

Bron, I can really sympathise on the loneliness.

It is grindingly hard not to have anyone to talk to other than kids and it makes it hard to get things into perspective because you feel you are always on the job, never on a break, even after they are in bed.

It is really getting me down - and I'm not a SAHM, so I only have the boys by myself on a Wed and in mornings and evenings. But they reorganised things at work recently so most of my classes are off campus; last semester the only friendly adult I ever saw was the colleague who taught my students before me on a Tuesday morning. We chatted for 2 mins. That was it for the week.

It is alienating and depressing and also makes things harder with DH, because I never get a chance to laugh with an outside friend about silly niggles, so they become real annoyances and grudges, totally out of proportion.

Sorry I have no advice on the BF; both of mine lost interest around 13-14mths.

I did try to push the issue and not bf (you may remember) but it didn't work, sleep strikes and horrendous crying... so we were patient and it paid off.
She did ask abt month after she had stopped completely and I still had milk and I debated. But I said no, and offered her the cup and she sighed and took it. We cuddled and tickled until she smiled and laughed and that was the last time ever she asked.

I've decided to ignore ignore ignore those threads.
Dh apologised last night. I had forgotton hes just given up smoking again. I am going to do nothing to give him an excuse to start again. We can'g have him smoking and neither can I go through it all again so this is it.

I have a spare room in rural norfolk so if anyone wants a break away they are welcome. afterall a new face would be doing me a favour too.

I'm hoping a good friend might be able to start visiting again. The plan was she would come once a week but then she got glandular fever bless her and shes completely wiped out. I miss her but I also worry cos I'm now not there to check up on her

Bron, I am a bit far away, or I'd jump at the offer!!

The neighbours have given us our New Year gift: a tiny bag of chocs and a huge tin of dog biscuits.
We have no dog.
This is the lady who BF a puppy.

How do I decode this?

Auld, she must think you are a real beeeatch.

Or maybe she is dying to bf you.

BTW were you saying I look frayed and worn? I have just had a shot of wheat grass after my yoga class, I will have you know.

Going to a funeral tomorrow. One of DH's friends just died of swine flu.

God, profuse apologies, Boff, I spliced two ideas in my post.
You have four kids, but no, you are astonishingly not frayed and worn. Not visibly anyway. Maybe wheat grass is the key?

V sorry to hear about your DH's friend. Best wishes for the funeral.

A had a vile chest infection, which he gave to DS1. Then the doctor said A had an ear infection and prescribed meds which gave him the runs. Or so I thought. Except that DS1 spent all last night being sick, so maybe it was a tummy bug, not the meds. Have spent every night since Dec 26th looking after one or other child. Frayed and worn doesn't really cover it, actually.

Yes, best wishes today Boff. How awful.

My sympathies Boff.

just popping in to say flippin heck Boff - :( really hope all is well today and thoughts are with you x

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, a close relative of a good friend of mine is fighting swine flu at the moment. Shes pregnant and in a coma with collapsed lungs. Very scary.

Bloody hell Bron. I hope she gets better soon.

Funeral was awful.

At one point I locked myself in the ladies' and just sobbed. I am still tearful. It got so bad at one point his widow, his poor widow, had to comfort me! I did feel extremely bad about that. I was supposed to be helping her, not the other way around.

I look like I have been in a fight at the moment. I still have puffy eyes despite putting DH's manly eye cream on them this morning, and I have a huge spot or insect bite on my chin, the type of which I haven't had for about 25 years.

It is not a good day. I wish you were all here to distract me.

Ah Boff. :( Very terrible. :(
Lots of hugs.

We are here. How can we distract you?

ok maybe that was a bit tasteless but I'm in a weird mood. DH has been made jobless and its my 30th. Nothing compared to that poor womans day though.

Oh dear! :(

Ok cheesecake!

Shall we all have a pow wow? I'll call in the troops.

I'm not supposed to be saying anything so 'i hopoe DH doesnt spy on me. I'm schtum on fb though

Dear me:( very stressful for you guys.
What's happened (if you don't mind me asking?)

I'm here! The cavalry's arrived! Well, if the cavalry is a procrastinating woman wearing a sale purchase dress, best suited to a summer wedding, around the house... It is beautiful, though.

I don't know what to say, Boff - I've never been to a funeral. I'm lucky (& young, I guess) enough to not have lost anybody close to me yet. I imagine that there are a lot of factors at play - was your DH very upset? That must be one of the hardest things.

[I then went on to waffle for a couple of paragraphs, but have self-censored because I don't know what I'm talking about & I don't want to be insensitive.]

Bronze :( Did you only find out today? What are his re-employment prospects like, do you think? How terrible, when you've just moved & everything, too :(

I was wearing a summery dress the other day. My belly was SO hot I felt like it was summer.

Speaking of which dh said the cutest thing to me the other day.
I said:Sorry we've not been having sex lately, feeling sick all the time makes me feel not so sexy.
He said: No problem I understand. When you get your horn on during the second trimester and you get the cute baby belly we'll more than make up for it.
Made me feel very happy that he was my very understanding husband. :)

I was only trying it on so I could see if it needed returning. As it turns out, it may be one of the most flattering things I own. Shame I have no occasion to wear it. Also shame I don't have a cute baby belly I can't say I miss the morning all day sickness though. But it's nice that DH understands :) (I just typoed DS - I wonder if it's a sign )

lol :) ds would make a complete set, but then as we all know we do need more strong Fanjo Warriors in the world

all day sickness :( That's what I've got :( It was the same with Moo. I usually actually feel better in the mornings to a certain extent, and then by the time we finally get Moo to bed I'm so knackered and sick feeling... I don't eat after 5ish or I'm doomed for a long and sick night. Will be glad when it's over again.