Dec 08 Mums - Terrible twos already? Tears, tantrums, tiaras and tractors - and the rest!

[Beans33]

Hope this is better - sorry all!

Rubs your having a girl! Why would you need to buy new clothes unless you gave DS's away.

With the teeth brushing I can't recommend those baby tooth brushes more, DS2 brushes his with DS1 and he really gets into it, chews the mouth shaped brush thing and the handle is soft so when he mimics DS1 pushing it back & forwards but the brush bit stays around his teeth. You can get them in baby section of waitrose. I then just use a small toothbrush to go over his teeth afterwards, he willing opens up unless he's teething, which is fair enough. I've got a bit of a self healthcare theory and I believe we have a lot of the responsibility of our own health taken from us by the state (this is more apparent in Australia than UK). Toothbrushing is one of the first self healthcare things we do so I wanted it to be positive for both boys. I've argued this with dentists, who generally agree but they also see the worst side of childhood tooth decay. I think kids with bad tooth decay rarely come from just not brushing teeth I think it's a lot to do with diet and sugary drinks. Rubs, ask your dentist about flouride supplements if your concerned.

Zoe I can't believe we only just became friends on FB. Thanks they are cuties, I'm very lucky. I have actually told DH we owe it to the world to have more children as we make suck gorgeous ones.

Spot, I let DS2 play with a box of matches the other day while I was cooking dinner as it was keeping quiet. I turned around he had emptied them all out and was chewing the heads off! Also lost him in a playground the other day which has a very large pond. Was a very scary 2 mins with me & two other mums searching for him. He was at the top of one of the slides.

DS1 was also very attracted to scooters early, he was riding around the back garden at 18 months and scooting with me to the shops by 20 months. I had one business women in hysterics at canary wharf as he was wearing a massive helmet and could barely see over the handle bars but was flying around one of the squares in CW.

I made DS1 cry this morning as I would only let him take one toy to school, he took so long trying to decide that we didn't have time for him to ride his own bike. So he wailed all the way to school on the back of mine. We are going to the trampolines at the beach this afternoon so hopefully he will like me again. I think we are gonna have to start getting up half an hour earlier in the morning so he can ride to school. It doesn't take that much longer to actually ride but by the time we lock up his bike etc it takes more time at the school end

Glad spots are clearing without ABs

Lady I can't stand big cook little cook, I can't imagine shagging either, that bloody clean the kitchen song & dance thing drives me mad. How they manage to keep that cafe open in the current economis climate I do not know. When DS1 was little he used to love it and would sing at the top of his voice 'big cock, little cock!'.

Effie, you make a good point about the wrist strap - and yes we have quite a little charger so I think I will invest in the reins or that cute backpack thing - dh had reins as a lil un too and used to swing on them apparently. Mil said she would threaten to let go when he swung, and he didn't care, so she did! I think it put an end to the swinging when he fell flat on his face!

Hello Sybs - nice image of you sprinting towards the moat now

Veggie - lol @ you! The truth is, I didn't get to buy much of my own new baby stuff last time as so many people (mainly mil) bought so much stuff as soon as we told the gender so I didn't bother / need to get my own. This time I want to pick out new stuff myself, and I knew I wanted to before we even got pregnant so as soon as ds had grown out of a lot of the stuff I was given I started passing it down to a friend who had a baby boy a few months after ds was born - therefore I planned to pick out my own new stuff no matter what the gender - nice try though Nancy Drew Oh and what are suck gorgeous kids?

I talked to dh about the toothbrushing thing and his views are - it's not unlike nappy changes - gotta be done and he hates it and gets pinned down for that but it won't make him want to sit in poo in future. Ds is getting pinned regardless.
I will ask the dentist about flouride but a little bit nervous to be honest as my db had something like that and then in his adult teeth he developed a brown line running right along the centre of them which he had to get bonded white when he was older - or perhaps it was a supplement my Mum took when pregnant - hmm can't remember. I'll ask the dentist anyway.
So relieved there isn't much talking going on with anyone....

SL we found the trailor good as it can be used in all weather however you can get covers for the bakfiets. Go to the shop and ask to test ride a couple of them. The 3 wheeled ones have a bigger box but are very cumbersome and can topple. The long ones with 2 wheels seem the preferred option over here esp with expats as they seem easier to ride. We hire them for friends when they visit. DH wanted to get one but they are really expensive, upwards of €1000 new and even expensive second hand and as the boys are getting bigger we don't really need one. The only drawback with the bakfiets is you can't stand up to ride so difficult if you have any hills and you have to ride quite slowly with them. However, they are in front of you, you can see and speak to them easily. Def worth a test ride.

Lady - you said a while ago about texting Urbane - I think you should - she hasn't been around here or on FB and no-one has their internet down for that long! And Mom too I hope she is ok - doubt it's the poonami-gate thing, she's thicker skinned than that.

I messages Urbane on FB the other day but no reply yet.

Rubs good skirting around that one. So your really not going to tell?

Lady going back to the DP telling his mum your preggers, I think until your ready to tell your mum he shouldn't have the option to tell his. When does she arrive?

Rubs that's cos your DH is a doctor I think docs think some of us nurses are a bit airy fairy with our positive experiences thing, but I can garantee that if you'd been my patient when you were little (which clearly you wouldn't have been as didn't qualify until I was 21) you wouldn't have a needle phobia now. I say some nurses as some still do scare kids.

Hello all! need to do some catching up, hope everyone is well! Veggie I'll FB you some Budapest tips (including a fantastic vegan restaurant!)

Re the meetup - Rub, Beans and whoever else can come - how about a Sunday or Monday? The latter is my non-working day. Did we talk dates, beans I'm sure you mentioned some but now I can't remember.

I'm going to try not to tell Veg - although I did think the other day that I wanted some of those Bonds Wondersuits in 0000 but the only place I can get them from to deliver here is at about a tenner each! I'd have to tell someone back home if I were to get some sent over as I've got too much plain white stuff to request more of that!
Yeah - agreed re the doc thing.... yeah whats the needle phobia thing from? Do you think terrible experience as a youngster? prob is, I can't nor can my Mum, remember any such episode. Saying that, I really think I've turned a corner with it since having ds and all the tests plus CS etc. Also during that time, dh purposely left a big mofo syringe in the lounge room - kind of like a coffee table piece - not great for visitors but I would glance at it every day and all that and now I'm fine and can even pick them up etc. far cry from my days when I would visit someone in hospital and pass out when a nurse would walk past with a kidney shaped little plastic dish cause I knew what was in it! I really think I'm almost over it now and haven't passed out or even lost any hearing for any needles since pregnancy number 1! [proud]

Hello Kiwi! yay - Mondays are good for me - except not this coming one

Why can I never find something when I actually need it but when I don't i'm constantly tripping over it!

Suck gorgeous means really really really gorgeous . Bloody pre emptive texty thingy.

Veggie, the MIL comes Sunday night. I don't mind if he tells her I am pregnant although I would really rather it wasn't when she was here as I could do without the barrage of questions and fussing. My own Mum won't be at all miffed that I have told her late (when I do) as I can honestly say she only cares for my happiness and as long as I am doing what I want to do and am broadly happy, it's all good with her.

I will text Urbane when I am on the train at lunchtime.

It's gone all cold and damp here again, where did that pseudo summer go?

DD is in her cot saying "NO!" to her teddies in an annoyed sounding voice. She must have got that tone from me. I actually feel a bit guilty.

Lady what did the teddies do wrong? I know - this weather sucks - and it doesn't suck gorgeous like veggie's offsprings - it just plain sucks - perhaps it sux

Well done Rubs. I read that first line and thought you just didn't want to tell me? If you want the wondersuits why don't you contact Bisou, she isn't on here much and she would keep it a secret for you. Oh and I can recommend the easysuits too. Sadly I've only got the 00 and up sizes now, if you want some let me know, they are mostly pale blue or neutral so could be used for either.

Rubes/Kiwi - how about 3rd May? We have swimming on Mondays, so stuffs up the day a bit, but term ends on 26th April, so free from then on....

Gosh thanks for the reminder on the teeth - I haven't been doing L's (and she has 10 of the blighters!!). Typical third child neglect - DD1 had each peggy individually cleaned and polished when they emerged..... Will start again today! On the upside, L only has one bottle of milk a day, and I do think the bottles can cause the problem even with only milk (if they are having loads over 2 or whatever).

My next door neighbour's daughter had all her babyteeth removed under GA when she was 3 or 4. Prior to that this pretty little thing had a mass of rotten teeth. She was drinking 2 bottles of fruit juice a day (at 3!!) and the silly parents (supposedly well-educated people?!) had never put a stop to it. Sorry, I know that is really judgey but I think that is a form of child abuse. What if something had happened as a result of the GA. As it is, at nearly 6 her second teeth still haven't all come in and her speech is badly affected.

Sybs have been thinking of you on the thumb thing. Well done on getting through the worst and hope it continues to settle down. As others have said it is probably worse for you than DD.

Summer well done on the house too. It's all looking good on the property front.

Jam loving that you saw the BASILDON sign. Read about it in the papers. Fantastic!

Zoe I think even at this age they know well how to give us the runaround. L just grins at me and then does exactly what she wants...

Right. Some work would be good.

Oooh Veg no - I re read what I wrote and it does look like I was singling out you! I@d love the easysuits! Only if you really aren't having anymore bubs??? Should you double check with dh? If you have Paypal - just tell me how much postage would be and I'll sort it out for you but check with dh first

Beans /Kiwi May 3rd works for me! Anyone else??

PS Sybs - place we're looking at renting is in Balham/Streatham - v exciting as have put in an offer today.

Sorry not to do more personals. I'm not buying this newbie anything yet as we've got so much white stuff left over from when DD arrived. Including one little babysuit that looks like an elvis outfit - hilarious - towelling one with big collars - was my fave last time round!

PS what is the thumb thing, sybs? Sorry to have missed it! x

hello - ladyt - waitinghusband has mentioned possibly playing for LH's team, but we are away that week, so we won't be there. he also hasn't yet sorted out a team to play for (and this is the man who took 4 years to buy a new cricket bat - he proves the definition of procrastinating) - he has just finished the telly script and is in an all-day meeting with his producer. fingers crossed. stephen fry is willing to be attached which can only help. i read it last night and nearly burst with pride - he's been struggling with it so much and it is just wonderfully funny and witty and heartfelt and he is a genius. in my eyes, obviously.

we are still having troubles, though, the two of us - he virtually hurled madam at me the other morning, threw his rucksack across the room and burst into tears on the floor. he needs to sort some stuff out, but he needs to instigate it, not me. i'm always sorting things out for him and that disempowers him. fingers crossed on that front, too.

my friend in the states is now in twice weekly couples' therapy to sort out her marriage - it is heartbreaking to speak to her about it. as she says, 5 months ago they were shagging every two minutes to have this baby and now she doesn't even recognise her husband from his behaviour.

sybs - hope the thumb sucking is working out. i posted, not very helpfully, though.

rubes - i was with veggie on that guess. i still can't imagine you with a girl, though. who knows....

well done on all those selling houses - looks like it is going well!

trace's hair looks fab!

madam has many words: stairs, stars, bubble, mama, dada, cheese, keys, flower etc. but i wouldn't expect anyone apart from me and dh to recognise them.

must go - she's been asleep 1/2 hour. yesterday she went for 2.5 hours (!!!!!!!!!), but normally it is 45 mins.

Hello all, time for a proper catchup.

veggie am loving your football fangirl story! Who cares if you're senior nurse, you're still allowed to scream excitedly! The nearest we get at my work is when eminent academic types come in but I can hardly claim any of them as dishy...

beans that spunk story is utterly vile. Brilliant work your DH, will this have got his 'being a big adventurer' thing out of his system for a while? And go you keeping up with him!

spot re pickiness with food, it's not something we've really ever had to deal with but I'd say you're doing the right thing (we just had hummous on toast for lunch ) and as long as you keep offering him different things, he'll give them a try at some point. Plus as we all know, it's the weekly rather than the daily intake that counts How was Lewes? (may have missed that bit )

Rubs really pleased to hear things are on the mend with your bro, and the situation with FIL sounds as if it's working out really well too. Have you thought of being a UN negotiator?! Also well done on getting over your phobia, you sound really brave!

LadyT lots of good advice on coping with MIL, we're off to stay with the PILs for 5 days in May and am hoping DH will do most of the talking, the situation between his parents is very weird (complicated, will explain one day but basically boils down to MIL is a nutter) so it's always awkward for everyone when she's putting on a normal appearance, everyone knows it's not 'her' and is on edge the whole time. Hope your visit is better than that! And what you said about O is just lovely, it's so easy for us to focus only on the difficult bits of what they do but then so much of the time all our dcs are being wonderful little people. When DH gets home and asks how the day was I'm trying to think of the positive things first rather than sighing and saying Gah bathtime was a nightmare or something like that.

Aub hope your Dublin trip was fun

WG your DH is a big writerly star and you're entirely right to be super proud of him! But really sorry to hear things are still not great - you mentioned before that he's had issues with depression, does he see anyone about it at the moment? Do you think counselling would help, together or just him on his own?

katie crikes 32 five year olds, you're a brave lady!

effie really glad the pox is on the way out and you can get out and about again.

NJAN you poor thing about childhood mealtimes, that's the kind of thing that gives people real problems with food later on

invis loving the cinema/synagogue story! As long as it wasn't yelled out loud in the middle of a quiet bit

JB we too have the littlelife rucksack, dd is a ladybird and it's fun for her to carry her own cup of water as well (get them working young

sybs hope the thumb progress carries on, sounds like a great start

toothbrushing - we've got a little mirror tile thingy stuck on the wall next to the bath and I give dd her toothbrush then get mine and we brush in the mirror together. When I remember but often she' doesn't brush much so I get her to do a cheesy grin and then attack.

zj discipline etc, it's certainly meant to be the age where they start being not defiant exactly, but knowing what they want! In our house I think it's me who's the softy - or at least I try to give dd the option to stop doing a naughty thing (not being a naughty girl!) whereas dh will say no lots but not remove her from the situation - eg if she's playing with a plug socket, he'll say No several times but not move her away. He had quite a strict upbringing and was slapped around a lot as that's just the way his mum did things, but for me that was never the case so it's something that horrifies me. Obviously he'd never lay a hand on her, but the general attitude to getting her to do what we want is very different.

What she tends to do at the moment is arch her back and go Waaaaah for about 10 seconds then give in - so eg if I'm trying to get her into the pushchair, there'll be a tiny scene, then she realises that it's going to happen anyway and stops making a fuss. So not really big tantrums but a lot of "that's not what I want right now".

In a moment of LadyT-esque positivity, my favourite thing about her at the moment is when she's busy playing, if I sit on the floor with her she very often comes across twith a book, sits on my leg and pushes the book at me with lots of pointing and enthusiasm. Librarian's daughter through and through

And now off to do some laundry. Ah my thrilling life. Was recently in touch with a college mate on FB who lives in the Peak district, he said "oh I bet your city life is really exciting, round here it's just gardening and long walks and pub lunches". Sounds idyllic to me!

I have had a very quick skim and the following things have jumped out at me:

Spunk
Shagging Big Cook and Little Cook

This sort of talk offends my delicate sensibilities, I'm off until you all promise to behave.

Rubena - we've been to Willow's Farm a few times. Fun for the kids and lots to do even if its wet, although the first time we went, when DD was around 18 months, she got the most fun from splashing in puddles. These days its bouncing on the various bouncy things on offer. Neither of my DCs are that interested in the animals, which is probably just as well - went there when pregnant with DS and I actually couldn't go into the animal shed as it was making me retch (more to do with me rather than the standards of the place I should hasten to add). If you go there around a mealtime, I'd def recommend bringing your own and picnicing - the stuff on offer is not very appetizing.

Syb - glad you seem to be past the worst on the thumb thing.

JJ - DCs were more or less OK in church, but TBH, I was remarkably impressed with how kid friendly they were - vicar had a whole introductory bit about not to worry about the kids, they had a corner to entertain them with colouring, books toys etc and even a loudspeaker button in the vestry so if all else failed you could hide out there and still hear the service. Mind you, the book corner was a bit of a mine-field in itself as didn't really fancy answering questions on the Easter story - although I guess I am a bit sensitive on this one as I remember being a bit horrified when I first heard it as a 6 year old via Jesus Christ Superstar (spent my early years in non-Christian countries). Sorry, just read this back - don't mean it as any kind of comment on anybody's beliefs, more that as a Jewish person, Jews don't come out very well in that tale.

On teeth, aim not to make too much of a battle of it, but do go through the motions of trying to do toothbrushing on a daily basis. Get there eventually. Did have to go through a period of us all brushing our teeth together with DD, but she eventually got bored of that game.

So far as roaming toddlers are concerned, I'm afraid mine roam! The most important thing is that DD learnt early that she could not, under any circumstances go into the road on her own. Beyond that, as long as she is in sight, I don't overly worry. Shopping centres are a problem though as she thinks she has free rein there and I find it quite stressful. We do have one of those back pack things, but trying to use it tends to lead to a tantrum. DS hasn't started walking outside enough for us to deal with it yet.

Argh invis sorry I hope it didn't sound like I was criticising what was said - I meant just that it's the kind of comment that is really funny to us but I can imagine disapproving grannies tutting. [retrieves foot from mouth]