Dec 08 Mums - Terrible twos already? Tears, tantrums, tiaras and tractors - and the rest!

[Beans33]

Hope this is better - sorry all!

Hooray for definite Spot, congratulations. How is DH with it all. Congrats on flat too. At least you'll be in well before bubby is due! Are you going to tell your mum.

Congratulations spot Two is hard work sometimes but bloody great. DS1 kissed DS2 on the nose this morning and told him "I love you so much". We also took them out for breakfast and it wasnt a nightmare at all which was a bit surprising.

Things are much better here trace thanks for asking. I've always been scared of driving, I took my test well over a decade ago and not really driven since. Well I forced myself to take some refresher lessons and it seems to be working and the difference that will make in that I can have some freedom in the evenings and weekends ! It didnt matter before we had kids but it has made things difficult since. That has really helped. Plus a regular babysitting arrangement. Plus talking about our problems with a sense of humour. But probably most of all I just started thinking about myself a bit more, and stopped doing everything for the 3 men in my life and cutting myself some slack with clean houses/food etc. Feels good. My mum was a bit of a martyr and never put herself first ever, so its a bit of a habit to break, but I want my boys to be able to look after themselves. I've also had CBT which I've found very interesting and useful, and counselling which has been less useful.

Well thats all about me. I've enjoyed the names conversation - I like traditional names and have named both our boys quite traditionally, but I do think boys are harder than girls. I also like names that you can shorten/change yourself a bit, so they both have one of those as well.

I have a hangover today. Which feels very hard work as I cant just sleep it off, and a fried breakfast did not sort it....

Spot Congratulations! I wonder if I might be joining you 'up the clackers' soon as still no sign of AF. I havn't had a chance to get to Boots yet, so will test tomorrow/ Monday when I've been shopping, if AF dosn't turn up first obviously. Think I might spalsh out and get a Digital test though from your experiences.
London was hell (sorry to all Londoners) but I am so glad I don't live there any more. I know it's the country bumpkin in me coming out, but I don't remember it being that busy and smelly when I lived there. Everything was just so manic so I was really pleased to get home and see the kids, who I missed a ridiculous amount. It was lovely to see old friends last night though.

Congratulations Spot. I am so excited for you. Sorry I did not get on straight after your big reveal - my phone can't load the thread after it reaches about 800 messages. Anyway I hope you enjoy your weekend away and all your life changes feel positive ones.

Awaiting your news with baited breath Katie.

NJAN - I am glad things are looking better for you. I found CBT incredibly helpful after I lost my Mum and suffered from anxiety. Good luck with the driving.

Kayz - sorry you and your H are not remaining friends as you had envisaged. Are you happier apart? Does it feel like the right decision for you?

Summer and other veggies - this morning i referred to the great veggie cookbook I had bought and promised to link to it. Then this afternoon Summer's FB status referred to the chef and I am slowly realising I am the last person on earth to have heard of him and you will ALL know about him already. Its Yotam Ottolenghi (no idea if thats spelt right). The book I have is called Plenty and everything I have cooked so far is seriously delicious.

I have lost 4lbs in 2 days on my detox. Yippee! Want to look slim and glam for Babbington House.

Veggie - can I ask for some advice in your nursing capacity? You may not be able to help but I am not sure who to ask. Basically DD1 has developed a very smelly fanny (its sort of fishie smelling) and occasionally she complains that it hurts, especially when she pees. This has been happening on and off for a few weeks and every time I think it is bad enough to book a GP appointment it seems to resolve. But then it returns. Any ideas? She is happy, healthy and energetic otherwise which makes me doubt a urine infection.

ooooh congratulatins spot! So exciting I'm not at all jealous
oh and spot you asked about the coeliac thing - dr didn't really say how likely it was for Lucy, but did say it can grumble on undetected for years so it definitely needed ruling out. It's just waiting and seeing now.
Had a smelly row with DH last night (about P's tea of all things!) and ended up imagining life without him - even what things I would have differently in the house (!) - smaller TV, rearrange the lounge, different wardrobe... How naughty am I?! All ok again today but I was getting a bit carried away with the idea
Veggie have you had a better day today? Don't feel bad about being at the end of your tether - we all think you're mega-mum anyway!
katie keep us posted about the little blue line...
Right can't stay on tonight - hopefully back tomorrow xxx

NJAN great to hear you're sounding better and feeling on the up. I have been referred to a psychologist for some CBT - my CPN thinks it'll be helpful - so it's good to hear you've found it positive. My first appointment is on Wednesday next week.
aub that's fab about the detox. Well done you! Oh and I've never heard of the veggie guy! Could your dd1 have thrush? Perhaps try giving her some pants-free time to let the air get to her! Keep it clean as you can and maybe get her checked out with the GP. Just as a word of warning - I took Lu with a similar ting once (although she had a bit of discharge too) and the GP had to ask whether there was any chance anything 'unthinkable' could have happened. I totally understand why they ask, but just be prepared in case they do!

Aubs Ive never heard of that veggie guy? Will look into the book though I love recipe books. Trace is right it sounds like thrush, go to the GP even if it hasn't flared up and tell him/her exactly what you told us. As Trace said be prepared for them to enquire if anything may have happened.

DS2 had a meltdown again at least this time he ate dome dinner but I think I'm going to have to try to get him to have a short nap around 3 or 4 even if it's just 20 mins. I remebered the remedies this time but when I gave them to him he picked them out of his mouth and threw them away. Then he changed his mind and grabbed them and they went flying, which means they are all ruined now. I think he may be teething as well
as he is due some big teeth to come through. I did wobble a little bit with him as he was writhing about when I was trying to dress him for bed and was really kicking me away, so I gave him a little slap on the leg. I feel terrible for it and wish I could wake him now and cuddle him. He reached his hand down to where I'd hit him. I just feel so terrible. It was just too much. I ended up walking out of the room and closing the door for about a minute (it felt like 10). Then I went back in he calmed down a bit and we cuddled and then I fed him and he fell asleep almost immediately. He must just be so tired. Poor little guy, why can't I get it right. DH is back tomorrow so I think I'll leave the boys with him and go for a break.

Oh and NJAN glad you'll be able to drive a bit and also
the thinking about yourself & babysitting thing is something I've gotta get sorted. Also not sure if you saw me say to you a while back thanks for the self haircut link, it's awesome. DH keeps commenting on how good my hair looks and I'm able to leave it out ofa pony tail so much more now because it's so nicely layered it's really de-thickened my hair in a way no hairdresser has ever managed. I was going to take some more length off but because it is so managaabls I'm going to leave it.

oh, veggie - you poor thing. i know you must feel dreadful, but at times these little ones really can be too much. well done on taking some time out - and i don't think the slap will hurt physically or emotionally. you are such a kind and caring person - he realloy must have been pushing your buttons for you to react like that. tomorrow is another day - a clean slate - do take some time off - you deserve it.

katie - we are all on teterhooks.

invis - if you are reading this, i drove past you in c end this morning - you were taking a photo of one of your dcs on the toy outside rubadubdub. couldn't stop, though. hope you had fun there.

i have done my back in again - so that has put pay to any exercise thoughts i may have had.

trace - good luck with the cbt - i have heard really good things about it.

NJAN - glad things are getting better - well done on letting things slide a bit and concentrating on you - really really important.

i once temped at a v v v posh office where they got their catering done by ottolenghi - OH MY GOSH - i still remember that food. i really ought to get the cookbook or even go there for some food. it was unbelievable!

must go. dinner is being served.

Here is the link to the cookbook Veggie. Its Middle Eastern inspired vegetarian cuisine. There is even a chapter devoted to Aubergines. I hope that cheers you up. I am so sorry you had another hard day with DS2. You definitely deserve a proper break when your DH returns.

Hello everyone,
spot so so so exciting!! What is your due date exactly? Not Xmas day I hope! And congratulations on the new flat, all change in the spot household, excellent!!
Oh and I am very impressed with your up-the-clacker intuition! First time I had an inkling I was up the duff before testing, but this time I just tested a week after having a negative test (must have been about day 40 of my cycle) to check, my jaw nearly hit the ground when I found out I was! I just thought that I had long cycles as they hadn't settled down after stopping BFing.

veggie I don't know how you do it with 2 on your own a lot of the time in a country where you don't speak the language. You should definitely go easy on yourself for getting a bit stressed out once in a while. Your DS2 will be all smiles and have forgotten in the morning anyway!

aubs yes I love Ottolenghi, I only have the first cookbook though (called Ottolenghi), I only realised today that the "plenty" one was out already! I shall add it to my "I want" list though DH despairs of my masses of cookbooks already. If only i got round to cooking from them as often as I should then I would be on masterchef!! I have already converted my parents and MIL to Ottolenghi via the cookbook. And yes I went to the cafe today along with the Hummingbird Bakery in Notting Hill. Left DS with DH and went to meet my friend in London, which was a rare treat. The Ottolenghi cafe in Notting Hill has a tiny eating area, with just one table that seats about 10 people. My friend and I were lucky to get 2 seats, and it was super yummy. I think most people get take out on account of it not really having much seating inside.
Oh...but....I am not veggie, though I do love veggie food! DH would go nuts if I went veggie. (also the cafe is not veggie, but it has a lot of veggie food, nor is the first book veggie only)
What is your detox?? I have heard you talking about it but I think I missed where you first mentioned it so I don't know what it is.

Spot - yay!! I know its terrifying, but really excited for you. And 2 is just lovely - DS is just learning to call DD and it is so sweet. Yay for the flat too!! It does sound like you both fell for it...I hope it all works for you.

Katie - we're waiting with bated breath!

WG - eek, yes, that was us! Have a new issue blackberry thing so was messing around with the camera. And of course after yesterday's debacle and it being DD's birthday (3 today!), she could basically persuade us to do anything she wanted....Thanks for all the messages. Of course DD isn't too bothered presents etc. She was a bit bemused by Mr Potato head - her initial verdict was that he was "a bit scary", but she warmed to him. In fact we were in one of the Crouch End toy shops and of all the things there, the one thing she wanted was a windmill. So easily pleased. Party tomorrow should be retreivable - it would be nicer if the weather was any good, but there is a cafe in the park we can decamp to. There are a lot of kids though (around 20 - what was I thinking?) so outside would def be the way to go given the choice.

NJAN - really pleased to see things are looking better. Interested to read about the driving. I am kind of the same - passed my test on the 6th attempt after zillions of lessons, but am basically terrified and never got going. I'd love to know how you get on - I might have to take my courage in my hands and have another go - although I have a sneaking suspicion I might just be one of those people not really cut out for driving (no road sense, even as a pedestrian!)

Ottolenghi is fab - have been to his cafe in islington and have occasionally thought about trying out one of the recipe (he used to have a column in the Guardian) but there always seem to be so many ingredients. I'm sure its well worth the effort though.

Rubes - glad the swimming is going well. Took DS for the first time last week - he screamed the place down!

veggie - we all get our timings wrong sometimes and it all goes a bit crazy. We kind of lost track of DS's nap today so he grumped and grumped, fell asleep late and was then completely manic at bedtime (bouncing so hard in his cot I thought he was going to knock his teeth out) and didn't settle down till well after 8. You do a fab job - especially with the amount of time you've been without DH lately.

Morning.

Veggie sorry about DS2's meltdown. Both my boys have them time to time. I normally just let them get on with it and they soon stop.

Aub certainly the right decision. I am really happy, happier than I have been in a long time. I sometimes wonder if I should be more upset about it but I don't. I'm my own boss now and I can do what I want really.

Work at half 9 and I didn't get to bed til 2!!! It's not good.

Veg, I think you are doing brilliantly in the circs. I spend quite a lot of time without DH (tho nowhere near as much as you) and it is jolly hard being the parent all the time with absolutely no respite. Hats off to you my lovely. So long as you and J went to bed on a good note, that is fine. I am thinking DH is back today and no doubt will be desperate to see his boys, so take yourself out for a couple of hours and just potter, enjoyhing the silence. I actually have an Ottolenghi pull out from the guardian which is in a pile of things waiting to send to you. I'll try to get on to that this week.

Brill on the 4lb Aubs, well done.

SPot, I am so thrilled to hear your news. Many congratulations. Does that make you lucky 7th person up the doofer in our little group? When are you due? I'm going to stick my neck out and say boy for you my lovely, but I'm often wrong so take no notice.

NJAN, I'm so glad things are better. I too credit driving and regular babysitting with making me feel cheerier. Have also had CBT and found it very helpful, so another vote for it.

Aubs, my DD1 sometimes has a smelly fanny too, and I think it is because she doesn't wipe properly when she has a wee, so it gets inflamed and sore. I find that if I give her a wetwipe for it (you know the Andrex wet loo roll which can flush. Normal babywipes don't of course) then she makes a better job and it goes away for a bit. I did mention it to the GP, but she said little girls often have it as they don't do a good job on the hygiene and she wouldn't start having a look and a poke around unless there was a discharge. I would also second Trace's advice about the pants free time. I use that to justify letting the girls wander around in nighties till late on a Sunday....

Happy birthday to Invis's DD. We went to a birthday party yest for a 3 year old and I'm afraid I made a bit of a show of myself. The mum (whom I don't know well) was showing me some pictures of her girls, then she got to ano baby and said this was her son, who had died at 2 months. I burst into tears, so did she, so we went into the hall and had a cuddle. He was only 4lb 14oz at birth, dear wee soul. I felt rather wobbly after that and hoped I hadn't upset her. Well, obviously i had upset her, but I couldn't help it. The kids looked on bemused but the other adults looked a bit embarrassed.

It's pouring here. How I am going to keep the kids entertained in the house without lashings of tv? There is only so much cake making and crafting that one can do, and Andrew is off to work in a min so I'll be on my ownio. I fear many games of red dog, bue dog coming on. Oh dear. Have a great day, y'all, and I'l be back on later.

Lots of love.

Ok, I'm not as restrained as I like to think. I found a vry old cheapo Pg test in the bathroom cupboard and decided to give it a go this morning. It was a definite negative after the statuatory 5 mins, but when I went to throw it in the bin about 10 mins later there was another faint line. The use by date was 01/10 so I guess I shouldn't take any notice of it, but am more confused than ever now. I have been having very long cycles, but I am now either two weeks (if you go by my normal cycle) or one week (new cycles) late. Best get myself a CB Digital to be sure I think.

Many congratulations, Spot!

Definitely time for the CB digital Katie!

It's raining here which shouldn't be happening. It's my birthday, it never rains on my birthday [stamps foot].

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOLDA!

And wow, Spot - well done - that's so exciting! I'm chuffed to bits for you! - hurray! And Katie - it could be you...

We're having a lovely quiet weekend and am feeling v content. I am domestic goddess and making soups and boiling/roasting hams, then got 3 mates coming for dinner tonight and doing a roast chicken too. Feeling terribly worthy. Not sure DH has really noticed, but never mind!

We went for a bit of a bike ride round Battersea Park yesterday. I haven't been on my bike since I was 4 months clackered and I loved it! Gut got in the way a bit and had a couple of uncomfortable moments, but was generally great. DH LOVED having Whizzy on the back of his bike and I took some v sweet pics. Will try getting them onto FB at some stage this week or next.

Vaggie - try not to worry - you are a fantastic Mum and these littles to try all our nerves to frazzles (not the tasty crisps!) - and I've only got one, so you with two are even more stressed. Don't worry and taking the time out sounded v sensible. WEll done you.

Not sure what we're going to do this pm in the rubbish weather. Been out all morning, so keen to put my feet up!

happy Birthday Nolda!!!!! Sorry it's not a sunny day. But did you get good presents? Breaky in bed?

Aaaaaahhhhhh silence. DH is back and has taken the boys out to the pool. I'm hoping DS2 will have a nap in the car home. He has had one nap but wouldn't go
down until after 11 and only slept for 1.5 hrs which while a decent amount of time just doesn't seem enough for him for a full day. Anyhoo I've done some yoga and now I'm having a coffee and about to rip into the choccies DH bought me.

Katie didn't mom or modernlove have something similar happen to their pregnancy test. When they left it on a bench somewhere a line showed up. It makes a difference which one it is as Modern is now up the duff so really I'm not being much help am I.

Thanks for your kind words ladies they do help.

I wonder how Lady's trip is going. Is she back tomorrow?

Oh & Sybs I feel so naughty now, I flush baby wipes...is it really bad

Beans I'm impressed that you've been out on your bike, good effort. We are going to get a trailgator to attach DD's bike to DH's so with DS in the weeride on my bike we can all go out together cycling in the New Forest.

Veggie I'm glad your DH is back now to give you a well-earned break. at the wipe flushing. My DH does too but I reckon as he is the one who will have to get the rods out if it all gets blocked ...

Thanks for your birthday wishes, I got a set of hand weights (I asked for them) to help me with my resolution to be a fitter more streamlined mummy. I did my DVD workout this morning and have just spent a few hours making the biggest, creamiest pig out cake you can imagine, yum!

Oh I feel so naughty, but I use non disposable nappies, does that make me a little less naughty.

Mmmmmm.....cake, creamy caaaaake.

Having a giggle DH has the boys sitting down to dinner and (I'm having a big hot bath) DS2 is explaining to DH about the May Day Capitalist protest tradition. Bless.

That makes you very less naughty Vaggie, for sure.
Nolda hello! I have been out on the bike too - twice even (hopes you're impressed by me too )
We have a Weeride (recommended by our Vaggie) which I love but thinking of getting a trailer (also Vaggie-esque style) Of course I want the Chariot but can't really quite justify the money at the moment and dh has seen a similar one on Ebay for £80. vag, I was wondering (as I know you have the Chariot with the infant hammock thing right?) Would any other trailer have a similar attachment as that for a wee infant? Or is it only that one, and if so do you think if I just bought the hammock DH would be able to adapt it to another trailer? he is pretty resourceful, however I don't want to compromise safety iyswim.

Beans - hysterical! Loving the use of my clacker word!! $ months clackered!!!

This weather is crap, but been food shopping and also to GBK for lunch. Ds hasn't napped all day and was surprisingly non-meltdownish all day However I did pull out my trump card (his milk) right at the crucial moment as our burgers arrived

Sybs to hear about the lady with the 2 month old. bet I would be the same - especially in my clackered up hormonal state.

P.S. Happy Birthday Nolda!

Vaggie - did you mean the other way around about DS2 explaining about the protest?