Dec 08 Mums - Terrible twos already? Tears, tantrums, tiaras and tractors - and the rest!

[Beans33]

Hope this is better - sorry all!

WG - their actions strike me as slightly odd but actually quite endearing, as though they were trying to be inclusive and maybe reach out to your DH? Having a child can make people slightly soppy and maybe they are thinking ... these two are first cousins? (maybe I am being soppy).

No idea how to do that about the photos. I can't imagine its a big problem ie its hard to imagine a scenario in which you are friends with someone ((and thus in the circle of people allowed to see photos) but using the photos in an inapparopriate way (apart from the situation you just outlined...)

WG - I can't decide if it's weird or not. The part that would bother me is that they took the photo's off your FB site themselves. This is part of the reason I deleted a lot of FB "friends" as I didn't consider I knew them well enough and didn't know who they let access their own FB accounts etc. I have my album's restricted to only family able to view them. It is not possible to stop people copying them if you have allowed access for them to view them unfortunately as I emailed FB a while ago about that.

Beans sorry to hear about your friends situation - must be so sad and yes life can suck sometimes with no explanation can't it.

Gosh that is so hard for your friends younger sister, well for all of them.

WG I'm like Rubs I can't decide if making the calender is ok or not but taking the photos without asking is def not ok esp as they don't get on. I ask if it's ok to post friends kids photos on FB so would def ask if I could use anyones photos. In general I do find it strange.

Has anyone heard from Lady?

Veggie I text Lady yesterday. She is great - all good just busy I think. I think she said she would be home tonight so hopefully she'll be back on here later

I'm here, I'm here! And totally knackered. I haven't stopped since yesterday morn (until now). I tried to read the thread but I am struggling with the browser on me new Blackberry and also it removes everyone's names and I only seem able to see a few posts. I didn't dare try to post in case I crashed the thread Didn't mean to worry you all, I am fine, as is DC2.

I had a work type thing to get done yesterday as well as consultant appt and I am selling some of my posh furniture in storage (can't justify keeping it all, much as it pains me to sell it) - we won't be able to fit it in the cottage and if I pay to have it stored for many more years it just doesn't make economic sense Also, frankly the money will be useful. So I have been flitting from storage to valuers/auctioneers. And trying to tie up the loose ends of the cricket tour. My head is SPINNING.

ANYWAY, I am thrilled about Rubes' baby news, I am ashamed that I still haven't posted Veggie's parcel OR WG's parcel of Clearblue sticks and books, and now I have to read what's happened since Monday night.

Back anon.

I am so tired and will post more in the morning but I just wanted to say for now...

WG - I have polycystic ovaries and they think my insulin resistance is linked to it. It makes it so hard to lose weight (not that I was fat before pregnancy ) and my periods are pretty wacky (less so now) but conception seems not be at all a prob so seriously, these things are NOT cut and dried so try not to think the worst. I do know quite a bit about but the books I am going to send you when I get back from Switz will help. Nil desperandum!

Katie - smashing about the job. Couple of days a week sounds so convenient. And well done about the fags - sorry to miss you in London town.

Thanks for the tiles tips, Turnip! Think we want the bullnose endy ones but they are a bit hard to find in quarry tiles. I have found some in Wrexham but bet the tiles will cost 10x what they cost in Wickes! Yes, of course I remember Kim. Do say hi.

Something else I wanted to say for now...er...

Can't remember, but also to Turnip, I understand about 'pointing' - I have spent the last x nights peering at the Faz and Baz colour chart. DD's room has been painted in Middleton Pink. We have bog standard Wickes everywhere else as yet. It looked so refained on the card, this pink. It is good quality paint but ultimately that colour in that room is the colour of cheap strawberry ice cream

But I am waffling. Veggie, you were talking about words. DD's new ones are flower and car but there's one big problem - not only does she not say Mummy...but she has started calling me Daddy. Daddy seems to be her all purpose word for any parent. NEVER MIND the fact that she has squeezed out the odd 'Nanny' to my Mum, which just rubs it all in! I think she has a category problem as she calls fruit 'flower' as well.

She had the mother of all tantrums again today when I was changing her nappy. I am so glad it's not just me. She has been really quite naughty the past couple of days. Don't relish the flight on Thursday morn.

More tomorrow, night night lovely ladies.

lovely to have you back, lady - glad it was such a productive time. nil desperandum yourself about the words - madam called me dada for so long - now i am firmly mamma, although any picture she sees of a naked woman is also mama. she has an embarrassment of words now - stairs, cooker, stars, bubble, ball, man, bird, but as ever, it takes us to decipher them. o's time will come, i have no doubt.

Does she see many pictures of naked women WG?

Morning ladies, feeling a bit fluey today and as DH is off to Budapest tonight I've trying to take it easy today so camped out on the sofa at the moment. I'm waiting to see if DH will make a coffee, he mentioned a few minutes ago he would but I think he's busy with emails. Bum i'll have to get up I think.

Lady was it nice to see DD2 yesterday? Did you mention the pain after DD1 kicked you?

WG your madam is quite good with her words, I know what you mean about having to listen for them, most of DS2's sounds are very similar so he could well be trying to have a conversation with me but no idea what he's trying to say.

Morning..... Veggie - I know what you mean - but fortuantely nine times out of ten dh auto makes coffee. However one thing we 'discussed' thismorning was or rather I told him, was that I accept when he's working I get up for ds in the morning, but when he's off work (he is now for two weeks and spose to be doing locums but they have fallen through so sitting and waiting on standby for one which hasn't happened yet) so when he's off work and I'm pregnant I hate the fact that although he will get up without grumbling too much - he still has to be nagged asked to do it which therefore makes it not enjoyable for me to lay in. Or if he does get up unprompted on the rare occasion of a weekend, he just gets ds out of the cot and then gets back into bed (ds happily plays in his room but then in about 10-15 mins he ends up at the bed side playing with face creams, the lamp, my phone, opening and shutting the wardrobe, in the bathroom opening and shutting the very squeeky shower screen or putting bath toys in the toilet while dh happily drifts off to sleep again and I hear every little ds movement!!) Defeats the purpose really! Anyway, my little discussion about being pregnant and expecting to not have to ask for at least a little lay in while he's not technically working will buy me a couple of days of unprompted father / husband of the year type stuff at least

Anyway, I'm having a baby naming dilemma. DH is not very forthcoming with suggestions and not very good at having conversations about names as he just turns it into a joke and starts saying really chavvy or Aussie bogun names to wind me up, so he printed out a list each of 500 names like we did last time and we crossed off one's we hated and were left with 12 that we both liked. problem is at least the top 6 or so are probably the most popular names around these days, and the other half of the short list (which are mine really I added) he 'kind' of likes but I'm not sure, and are kind of love em or hate em type names which I've looked at so much but now can't decide if I like them a lot or have over looked at them and talked myself into them if that makes sense I know Lady isn't, but is anyone else preggo sharing name shortlists for feedback? I can't decide, but I def don't want my family to know my shortlist as mil is sure to influence me....

My point is, do we go with a name that is super popular at the moment if we like it that's all that matters right? Or do I go with a name that we still like but could turn into one of those names that was a realy bad idea.... I can't decide if I like the names that are iffy or if I'm just overthinking them etc...

I would go with the super popular version - having called DD Isabella, when it was at top of the pile - without realising it!

But stand by it as think it's a beautiful name - and clearly lots of other people also have good taste!

Rubes we have a name chosen for a girl that we both 100% agree on so we are not sharing it with anyone, last time everyone said they didn't like E's name and I got upset with my mum, etc, etc, and so there will be no sharing of it with family that's for sure!!

We are not decided on a boy and haven't even really got a shortlist properly yet, so I might decide to share shortlist with people secretly at some point, but will not be telling grandparents this time!!!

Also I suspect you are overthinking it, that is my problem though, it is so difficult to know connotations of name/things you haven't thought of, etc, if you don't discuss it with more people than just your DH!

I don't think there is a problem with super-popular name either! DH doesn't like them though.....so it makes things difficult for us.

Obviously I think you should tell us the names!!!

Sorry I have overdone the exclamation marks as usual there.

I am not Mamma either ladyt. Until recently I had no name, but now I am sometimes "Dada".
Lucky me.

Mmm, I'm interested in the names question. I think my main response is to go with one of the names you actually like, and bugger everything and everyone else. That holds true if you want an unusual name or a more popular name. Also I think writing the name(s) down with your surname and saying them outloud can clarify things too. I would say tell us your names but you will get 30 different opinions probably and so it won't help you decide. A name like, say, Charlotte, whilst popular, has been around for donkeys and so probably won't date. Would you mind if other girls at school have the same name? If you don't, I wouldn't worry about picking a popular name. Because I was saddled with a very boring name I think that makes me want my children to have more unusual names I love naming children, I will be sorry that this is the last!

Anyway, if you want to tell us we can keep schtum!

Veggie, the consultant didn't seem fussed about the kick I'd had. I told her about the pain and she just said that everything is growing so quickly at this stage it could be just about anything, but everything looked fine.

WG, I don't really mind about her calling me Daddy. She says quite a few words but Mummy is off the agenda for whatever reason. I do remember Urbane saying her DS could say 'giraffe' before he finally got out a Mummy

Lady do you remember when you started that thread on baby names saying "What names will go rancid in 20 years time?" and people went ballistic at you!

Tosh, SL, your DS has a lovely name (would be on my list for a boy) - your Mum's wrong! Very early on in my last pregnancy I mentioned to Mum that we liked Clementine and Cecelia (neither of which we used or will use this time - or I doubt it anyway) and she thought both were vile so I decided at that point to keep quiet about names to family. Very glad I did, cos when the baby is born they don't dare say "What a ridiculous moninker!"

Oh, and WG, I do think it's a bit weird that your SIL and BIL took those pics off Facebook. But I think it's a sign of their not being close to your DH, or simple lack of emotional intelligence (if that's not too harsh) rather than anything malign. Annoying though, I am sure!

I meant moniker, obviously.

Summer, yes! I still laugh about that. I am more tactful on the baby names thread these days. In my own hamfisted way I was only riveted at how perceptions of names change over the decades, not out to enrage anyone, but there are so many of the professionally outraged on MN that it got out of hand.

People are so weird on some threads here - I find the AIBU things so harsh, it makes me sad. I'd have thought everyone wants to help everyone out and be nice. But think I'm probably naive. Never mind. You're all so lovely on here, am a bit blinkered to the reality!

My mum has the opposite problem to you though LadyT as she has a weird first name, and she didn't like it, so she thinks we should call our children super-safe names.

She told me she didn't like the name when I was 38 weeks and I cried, as in my emotional state I though she wouldn't love him if he had this name, and she would prefer his cousin just due to names!

MIL also doesn't like the name either...after he was born we said "well we may call him Ed or Eddie" sometimes, and she said "Or William" (his middle name!) HAHAHA!

Oh on the subject of MIL I am going to meet her in London tomorrow for lunch, kiwi you recommended somewhere near king cross to eat (6 St Chads), is this baby-friendly at lunchtime?? Or can anyone else recommend somewhere else nearish to there?

I like Clementine and Cecilia (though I think I prefer Cecily), I also like Clem for a boy, however I have an infamous slightly mad male friend called Clem so it wouldn't really work.

Actually Beans, I find the AIBU threads and others quite cheering in a perverse way - they make me realise what a reasonable human being I am, and willing to think the best of people and possessed of a sense of humour What a curse defensiveness is, really. It squashes people's personalities and makes them afraid. There's a lot of that on the wider MN, it's terribly sad. (If I posted that anywhere else, of course, I'd be accused of arrogance and loftiness and sneering and all sorts That's not to say I haven't had some super advice on the wider MN - somebody found some lovely knobs for me for my bedroom cupboard!

Oh, and I am feeling quite chipper as I had an email from my agent saying the editors were being slow and not to worry about it as he wasn't at all worried Obviously it's not a guarantee but I will just park the fretting for now and revert back to my default baseless optimism