Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

aubs glad you are feeling somewhat better. Felt for you what with the finance director affair and so on. And I also meant to say that I "get" what is going on with you and your DH. We are in a similar place right now - so can't offer anything in the way of wisdom, just empathy.

rubes - because Veg started the thread she has the authority to get the whole thing deleted (as indeed R did with the Thread Title one). As others have said I don't think that is necessary. It all ended very badly on Twisl*ts thread where R had also gone to defend her position. I feel very very sad that she was that upset (whatever the rights and wrongs of the whole thing) and upset that people here were upset too. Aaaaaaaaanway...

Invis what is the current update on career plans? Oh, and DH DOES know your BiL - he was being dense when I first mentioned it.

I am now off to pack my DH's bag for Cheltenham. Before you all think I have turned into Don Draper's wife from Mad Men...in his defence we very sensibly (not) have our wardrobes in DD2's bedroom. Which of course means that noone may access them between then hours of 7 and 7....DH not home til 8 so I will have to go and root out his jeans and so on.

We really need to get our built in wardrobes sorted out (our bedroom is in the attic and sloping ceiling means we couldn't use our existing very lovely wardrobes). In the meantime I will have two very lovely cherry Victorian style wardrobes (in the style of And So to Bed) for sale (at knock down mates rates of course) if anyone is looking for such a thing.

katie any news on your house purchase. Am very scared in case you took my advice and something adverse happens....eeek! Hope your parents gt it sorted though.

Aubi, I hope you are feeling tons better. And a big poo on the head of the finance director. I can't imagine you saying the wrong thing but if you did, it's gone now. A handsome apology always does one credit.

Am quite desperate not to fan flames but I gather a different thread were a bit annoyed about the moans about their thread title and some were possibly even, er, franker than we were in expressing it. It seems that R felt persecuted so deregged (which means left MN. Doesn't mean you can't rejoin again of course). Some people are saying she was 'bullied' off MN, which makes me feel a bit sad and I hardly think it's accurate although to be fair I don't know how I'd feel if I was being talked about - upset probably, but then, I wouldn't have started a thread moaning about other people's thread names. Anyway, the business about Veggie deleting the thread was because Veggie started it and R asked Veggie to get it deleted as the starter of the thread. But no one seems to think it should be, so hopefully we can move on.

She asked for it to be deleted that's why I bought it up. If no one wants to delete it then I go with that. If she is not on MN now and I doubt anyone would really be bothered coming on here to find anything which she finds offensive (which as has been said was deleted anyway) then there is really no need.

Also I think it is best to keep also due to Kiwis question. We still have some MIAs from the last thread and it would be nice to get their perspective esp Trace as she is still BF too. Would be good if others could read over the issue.

Sorry about your day Aubi but I'm with you on the apologising. I've found that with DH if we get into a bit of a blue because I'm one of us is in a foul
mood then as soon as I we realise it's going to just escalate and end with me one of us getting screamy and irrational, it's better to just put the brakes on and apologise. Even if I one of us feels we've been wronged, its not really worth the fight.

X-posted with you, Turnip. I would love wardrobes but have the same sloping ceiling in two of my new upstairs rooms, so will be going wardrobeless!

[pokes head round door]

Hello

Just wanted to say, in the light of thread-gate, that I have been an occasional lurker since the babies were born (usually late at night trying to find out if anyone else's 'x-month old' will also not eat / sleep / stop crying (delete as applicable!) and I think you are a lovely thread. For what it is worth, your experiences have certainly helped me through some long nights! (I have a DD born in Dec 08 who is an absolute delight but who also has, in the words of the midwife ' a fine pair of lungs on her!'.

And, if it isn't too forward, KiwiPanda, my DD2 does sound a bit like yours. I love her to bits, but she is very easily dissatisfied with the general nappy changing, dressing, high-chair routine that forms her 15 month old world .

She is a second child and we have an 18 month gap. I always say we would never have had an 18 month gap if she had been first! Just to reassure you, though, my DD1 is completely different (still hard work, but in a completely different way ) and, as others have said, it does definitely get easier as they get older. I am convinced with DD2 that, when she can talk, the crying will get better. Also, there has been a definite easing off on crying since we have drawn to the end of most of the teething (the last fortnight!). Don't want to speak out of turn, but just wanted to share that.

Evening all, you don't half gas you lot! (well obviously this was a little different to usual)

DorasBackpack, hello! Feel free to carry on lurking if you like but you'd be very welcome to join in and Tortoise, good to see you again, 1st December clearly the best day for a baby to be born

kiwi, there has been some great advice here on the BFing question. I completely agree that it's hard to stop using bf as a comfort if they're used to having it - this afternoon dd only napped 45 mins instead of her usual 2 hours, then cried for half an hour until I gave her boob - had been trying like you to avoid it being the comforter for all situations, but nothing else seemed to be working. I got some great advce from La Leche League about bfing and going back to work, they may be able to give you some help? It's not just generic but tailored to your own situation.

We've been having some bad nights lately, this cough that she's had for about 6 weeks has been getting worse so she's now got an inhaler for before nap and sleep times - effie is ds's for an actual wheezy asthma kind of thing, or a more general cough?

veggie you always seem so brave and positive about your moves, you've dealt with it all so well given what you said about how many places you've been in a few years. It must be hard to always be finding new friends, I admire you hugely for always giving it a good go.

Hello Dora, it's very nice of you to post. Glad you did. Do chat/lurk/visit whenever you wish.

Hi Dora'sbackpack!! (or as my eldest DD would have called you DorasBAGpack...) lovely to see you. Do post as often or as little as you want! Maybe the benefit of this brouhaha is that we will get to meet any lovely lurkers/new people. Wow - 18 month gap. Respect! (I know there are others on this thread who have/will have this gap).

sorry posted too soon

turnip, re dd's night coughing, how terrifying. Would a paper bag work at all - is it a panicky sort of coughing thing? (I may be completely making that up by the way)

am feeling pantsy, have got a cold so head is all bunged up, not enough sleep, got cross with dd today for not napping and being really hard work. Is this just a thing at this age - turnip has some wise words about not being able to give them 100% of ourselves all the time. I certainly notice that dd's behaviour is worse if I'm trying to do something else (make tea, tidy up etc) and not giving her my full attention. It must be so much harder with more than one, I remain full of admiration for people with mutiple nippers.

I just popped to the Twisluts thread they are thinking of toning their titles down now. Poor pets. Was going to post in support and have a chat about reclaming the word but they've had a few people crash in over all this and I think like us they are feeling a bit like their safe haven has been breached so I left it.

Im currently trying to get out of this bedroom but DS2 keeps waking, I think he's def getting bother fro
these teeth. I can hear DH cooking dinner outside so that's good. We are having steamed veg and linda Mccartney pies. We found them in an expat shop here and are sadly very excited about them.

jump xposted. Sorry you are having broken nights. V tough esp when you are at work and can't get a sneaky nap.

I have done s*d all work today (as I suspect other homeworkers - LadyT I am naming no names - have). I now have to do a tiling schedule and quote now.

Where is Trace. I hope she is OK??

Hi dora! You should try and post occasionally!
You have scared me now though as there will be 19 months between ds and my next one....I am hoping for another easy baby! I hope I am not offending the other preggo ladies by saying that one thing we seem to have in common is we have all had quite easy babies at least sleeping-wise... I am terrified that no2 will be a nightmare.

Hello Dora (great name). Lovely of you to pop in, please do post as and when you can...we really are a lovely bunch!

Also forgot to say hello again to tortoise earlier, great to hear from you again.

Veggie, hope the bath has helped you feel a bit better. Maybe a nice glass of wine to relax? I usually find it does the trick for me.

Jump DS has an inhaler for his 'cough'. If it hasn't cleared it after a couple of weeks then the Dr gives some granules that I mix once a day in with some food. I think they are a steroid of some sort called Montelusk Paed Granules (or something similar). They are very effective I find, maybe worth asking the Dr about.

eeek Jump. Xposted AGAIN with you, sorry my love. Not a panicky thing thankfully - but it was verging that way. She is such a little poppet though my DD, such a wise head on young shoulders. We have such a lovely relationship now (having had a tough period between ages 3 - 5). Actually DS (who as DH used to say was my golden boy) is now the one who I find really really difficult to manage. And he is slap bang in the middle of that age range (plus being, as DD was, an October baby bright as a button absolutely gagging to start school...roll on September when I feel our relationship will improve...)

I really am delaying work now. Veg enjoy your Linda M pie and veg. I'd say it sounds yummy but I am a committed carnivore

Oh gosh I missed loads of posts. Hi Dora I'm happy for you to crash in here of course. I think it's just that their thread had content that us specific to their group and some people find it offensive and have gone on and told them as much. However, it's great to have you speak up here. I hope we've been helpful and not just drivelling on. I feel like I've seen you around before, the name is familiar.

Wow - what an exciting day on the thread! Veggie - Love that you are out there in the Mnet jungle defending my dodgy thread title choices. I better stop naming threads or there may be WWIII somewhere in Mnet!

I feel rubbish, very stuffed up, no sleep. Maybe it isn't a pregnancy scare and I just have really bad hayfever or a cold?? Would be a bit anti-climatic if that were the case.

Lovely to see new "faces" on our little thread.

Kiwi - Sorry you're having a hard time. Most of our holidays have gone the way of your long weekend, and I now just can't be bothered to leave our house overnight. Too bad because DH and I both love travelling. There has definitely been an increase in screeching and tantrumming this week. It would be a real shame if you felt like you had to give up BFing before you were ready - I have such mixed feelings about BFing these days. This week I dropped the bedtime feed in exchange for a sippy cup, and he didn't seem bothered at all. Kind of sad! But I still have the early AM feed. He does sometimes tug on my shirt and say "more", but I just distract and say something stupid like "boobies are sleeping". I think it is totally fair for you to want to set some boundaries about your own boobs, especially after having shared them so generously for 15 months now!

Oh Turnip I have done naff all again today and it's all my own fault. Part of it is that I have a block about my rewrites so am easily diverted. And part of it is that I can't.shut.up.

Jump, I have an attention monkey as well Ideally she likes everyone in the room to be gazing at her and responding dotingly at all times. If she doesn't, she bumshuffles into trouble. Before she could do that it was all rather contained. Sorry about the cold. You can't beat a nice Lemsip I say, one of the souped up ones that debung your nose.

Summer, I am bracing myself for no sleep with DC2. DD has been so easy on that front that I know the next one is going to be quite the reverse. Has anyone had TWO good sleepers? Oh and Dora, there will be 22 months between mine and yes, I am scared

Thank you everyone - I will try to post a bit if that is OK, just don't want to butt in and am a bit erratic in MNetting!

Summer - I think it is the luck of the draw with the babies. Neither of mine slept through til 5.5 months (a week after being weaned both times...) and I found the first 6 months the hardest thing I have ever done, I think. But, although it was extremely tough at first, it is so lovely now and I really feel we are reaping the benefits.

They share a room now and DD1 calls DD2 her 'best friend' and they love having their 'huggles' as she calls it.

The main problem we have in the mornings is that the girls tend to wake each other up, and have done all year. They are both quite loud when they wake up (?!) and I found that starting the day when the first one wakes makes for a very long day all round!

Nice thread title you guys

sorry to butt in but really made me laugh.

oh and I have a theory that, when they get to 2 years old, you can start to bribe / incentivise the older one, but that it is very hard to do that before 2 as they don't really understand the trade-off .

Not sure if that is just a personal thing, but I found discipline all round improved then and that made it all a lot easier so, Lady T, the closer you are to the 2 year bit the easier I think it is (but then these are just my crazy musings about what might have been easier, not really an expert view !!)

Summer, what you said confirms what I sneakily suspected. You have to have the energy to do the deed to get up the duff and with this particular sleep refusenik that ain't gonna happen for a while. Still, me and DP have had The Conversation and seeing as T took 2 years to come along should maybe just start going to bed earlier .

Hi Dora, please join us, no one gets upset if you're too busy to post for a while or don't catch up on everyone else's posts.

Sorry about the cold, jump, hope you get better soon and that katie you get a better night.

LadyT if you don't mind me asking what was your reaction to your agent's feedback? Did you think he was right? And how much has to change before he is happy with it? and what if your take on it and his are considerably different?

Hello everyone,

Blimey it has all kicked off on here eh? I chuckled at the thread title before I knew what the situation was. I thought we were collectively lacking ideas for imaginative titles! Well our five minutes of fame and I missed it.

Sorry you felt so upset about it all veggie. I think it is really nice of you to defend our honour like that. You mean a great deal to us too. I think you are incredibly brave moving countries and I'm glad you have found some nice RL people too.

Hello again tortoise and a big HELLO to dora. You may as well join us now you have said hello.

kiwi Sorry to hear that your weekend was rubbish, it sounds like really hard work. Turnip's advice sounded good to me. Does your DD have any comfort object that she might get some comfort from when the boob is denied?

I know nursery said she took about 3 steps a few weeks but DD walked yesterday, for me . I stood her up and her knee sort of twitched like a robot springing into life, and she set off taking about six steps perfectly steady as if she had been doing it all her life. Today she hasn't walked at all!

LadyT, I've had two bad sleepers. So two good ones is possible. Well I say they were both bad, DD was 11mths when she first slept through, and DS was just turned 1. So to some this may be good

Jolly hurray on the walking!

Daisy DH is putting a couple of nice Dutch fruit beers in the fridge as we speak.

Forgot to tell you about my afternoon I took the boys on a ride to a city farm near to us and near the beach. It was hilarious. It's DS2's first time properly close up to big animals and he was just fascinated by it all. We went to the little guinea pig section first and DS1 picked them up and stroked them. DS2 just started at them. Then we went into the field with the goats and a pig and a couple of cows. DS1 got one of the brushes they have available for kids to brush the animals and had a great time brushing all the goats while DS2 just stared them all out, 'men who stare at goats' style. He was fine about getting close up to them, like DS1 was like at his age when we used to go mudchute farm. He was most intrigued by the big pig and squatted down in front of it looked it square in the snout and then let out a huge 'rooooaaar' at it. Quite satisfied with his effort he stood up and chin-head butted a goat who had come over to smell his hair. It was brilliant and the weather was gorgeous. I can't believe a last week I was wearing a big coat and today I was just in a light hooded top with a jacket. The ride was lovely it's only 10 mins but I drew it out a bit and rode around some of the embassy buildings cos they are pretty. DS1 is on the bobike seat above my back wheel sometimes now instead of the trailor so DS2 looked a bit lonely in the trailor by himself but it is nice having DS1 close enough to chat to.

Oh and Spot. They have hard goats cheese over here in varying levels of age. It can be used like any hard cheese in cooking (cheesy pasta) or on bread whatever. I was trying to work out how to send some to you when I suddenly realised your DH can get it for you when he is over here next.

And in other news, DH had a course in Budapest in April do another short break (eek) for team veggie.

ladyT in answer to your Q (and at risk of being pelted with flying objects) I have been very lucky and had 3 fantastic sleepers. Luck of the draw - and we wouldn't have had a third if that hadn't been the case I think (because I am a sleep junkie). Each time I was ready for the new baby to be a non-sleepr but never happened. (although L gave me a shock and literally did not sleep for the first 2 weeks, no first couple of sleepy days for her...)But we have had more than our fair share of challenges on all the other usual issues I must say.

Veg your day at the farm sounds fab! Glad you have had The Conversation Spot...