Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

I'd be keen to come to Wetlands as well - guessing it's not too far from Battersea.

Speaking of troubles with DHs... we are meant to be moving on 15th May and still haven't found a rental property to move into. Been trying to speak to him for an age about where to go, our budget and requirements etc. Have arranged a couple of viewings on Friday as need to get moving on it and have told him where and when etc. And he's come back with - "but we haven't discussed this". I've TRIED! And have given up a bit, so am getting on with it in roughly the right area, below the budget we talked about vaguely and for a 4 bed house in which one of the rooms could double up as a study for him. So am being proactive - let's hope he goes for it!!!! Big discussion tonight. YAWN.

Kiwi: ds1 won a sweet when we were at the seaside yesterday. I looked down at ds2 in the back of the p&t and his face was like this:

Hello everyone

Just a quick one as it's Andrew's birthday today and I need to be wonderwife (TM Beans) and do supper, presents etc etc.

Hope everyone is ok. M has just refused a BF. Am gutted. Do you think he's giving up? I don't think I am ready for that as he will definitely be my last and I wa planning on feeding til about 2. I fed both girls til I was pg with the next one (about 18M and 15M) so was here for the long haul.

Am now feeling sad. Hope it's just a phase. He only feeds 2x a day now so perhaps he's just dropping the night one (hopeful).

Hope all well and had a good day.

Hope you have a nice evening, Sybs. I'm afraid I don't know about M but maybe he is indeed just taking himself down to one a day. Or it could just be a one off.

Sorry things are still feeling a bit bleak, WG. Try not to think too much whilst you are feeling coldy or put too much pressure on yourself - just go with the flow awhile and you might start to feel better.

Well, I had a nice time away but now my Dad is in hospital. He was rushed in with agonising shoulder pain and it turned out to be a crushed vertabrae . He has extensive treatment for lymphoma (cancer of the lymphatic system) just over 5 years ago and I do worry that this might be as a result of the cancer having returned in his spine. They were supposed to be giving him an MRI scan tomorrow but that seems to have been abandoned, which worries me. So my sister is going to phone up and try to press for one (she is a Nursing Sister). Neither she or my stepmother (who is a nurse) seem to have made the possible connection between the spinal injury and his cancer history and I think they think I am being a gloombucket because of DH; but surely people's bones just don't crumble like that unless they have got osteoporosis (he was fixing something on the roof with his hands above his head, and that's when he thinks it went), and blokes don't really get that. I'm not an oncologist but I think an MRI scan is the least they can do. My sister's hospital is part of the same trust as the one he is in and she did remark that they were millions in debt last year and now they are ten million in the black. Fine - and no doubt they are there through making decisions such as whether my Dad should have an MRI scan on a FINANCIAL basis rather than a CLINICAL. Anyway, I am a little preoccupied with this so if I am not on here for a bit, this is why....love to all.

I've been lurking today but just popping on to say this must be just horrible for you Lady, nothing I can say would help I guess but please know that I'm thinking of you. This will sound a little silly but please try to take it easy (as much as you can) your sis will do her best to sort the scan out but you are pregnant and need to look after you. I agree they should not completely rule out the scan but leave it to your DSIS.

The trouble is, Veg, that until I started carping on, my sister seemed happy to go with the flow and was saying that crushed vertebrae "can just happen". What - your spine just crumble like that, with not a particularly violent mechanical trauma to occasion it? Put it this way, I'm suspicious. I can't really blame my stepmother for not being on top of it - she is only just getting over her treatment for bowel cancer - but I am amazed at my sister. Maybe she is just inured to the ways of her NHS trust. Well, I am flipping not...And I also know that the CT scan he had this morning will have only shown the physical fact of the fracture, not given any clues to the underlying cause.

...although my stepmother first said he couldn't keep still enough to have a CT scan and then she seemed to say he'd had one so heaven knows what's gone on.

On a different topic, I am also in a marginal (I vote in London) - though Westminster North is technically a new constituency as there has been a boundary change. It's not a marginal in West Oxfordshire where DP is voting...Cameron is the MP!

We are having two sinks in the new bathroom and the plumber has put them right next to each other. I think it looks bizarre, there was supposed to be a decent space between them. But I think DP has briefed him incorrectly. I can't get annoyed with him as he is stressed about it. Mm, think I will worry about that tomorrow...

Ladyt: my MIL has this, as far as I know not down to osteoporosis but hauling old people about. They have been faffing about with it for years until she finally managed to see a private consultant on her DH's insurance. Instant MRI and poss surgery. So it is worth pushing.

Hello, just popping on to say I'm thinking of you, LadyT and hope your sis manages to get the scan sorted, by hook or by crook. It must be such a worry for you. Did she say she'd definitely call today? Hope you get some reassurance asap.

Hope you had a good night, superwife Sybs. Your DH is a very lucky man.

WG, how was last night? Really hope the ABs kick in soon and madam's sleep patterns return to normal. T had this weird waking for 2 hours in the middle of the night for no reason thing a while back, must have been developmental as it went back to normal but was really annoying at the time.

I was actually reading a sleep book and realising that although some babies sleep a lovely 12 hours a night at this age, the majority sleep much less, around 10, then 1-2 hours daytime sleep on top of that. T has only every slept a max of 11 hours and it's reassuring to know that's normal. Also, we we've been driving around villlages of East Sussex over Easter he's spent most of the time sleeping in the car and not going to bed until 9pm but it's meant he's slept in til 7 so that's been quite nice.

He has, though, turned into a teenager overnight. Averaging about 24 tantrums a day, he no longer likes what he used to etc. Bloody exhausting.

Also, my days have always been pretty child-centred (in terms of activities) but now I feel like I spend every second entertaining him. I am loving the nice weather though, you can easily kill an hour in the park and it's free!

DP out on the razz on weekend 17th April (or whatever the sat/sun is). Anyone fancy coming down to Brighton on either day?

Ooooh, my book is up on Amazon pre-order

ladyt - that sounds worrying - i hope he gets some more scans to rule out your worries.

spot - yay for the book - i'll look it up! i'd love to come down to brighton, but am bizarrely booked up to my eyeballs as far as weekends go at the moment. i do miss you, btw, and think of our lovely springfield park soiree often.

syb - how was wonderwife evening? splendid, i hope. also re: M and bf - no idea. i have been the one to instigate dropping feeds, as if i left it to madam i would seriously be stuck to her 24 hours a day - she has never voluntarily come off the boob for something other than sleep, as far as i can remember. we are still doing one bf a day - normally when she wakes up in the early hours in an attempt to get her back to sleep.

feeling better, but still dodgy. am just going back to bed now - been up with madam since 5, and now dad's ladyfriend is up so i can hand her over. yawn.

Good morning ladies I'm going to attempt to post before DS2 wakes. I think the ride to school was so exciting it wore him out. My new bike arrived yesterday so we all climbed aboard today and off we went. The boys both loved being all on one bike but DS2 in particular found the whole experience very exciting. He was pointing at just about everything and giving a running commentary about everything he saw (in his own language of course). He also roared at all the dogs he saw. This isn't unusual he roars at all animals he goes past, dogs, cats, swans. I think it's some primitive territorial thing . The bike is so comfy to ride, it's like being in a nice comfy chair, on a bike!

We had a lovely Easter with some friends that came over from London with their 2 boys. DS1 was really cute on saturday night he was having trouble getting to sleep because he wasn't sure what he thought about some random bunny coming into our house sneaking around and hiding eggs. We had to assure him that he would only hide them in the back garden. The ensuing egg hunt the next morning was brilliant. Their DS1 is a bit competitive and older so instead of finding eggs for themselves they had one basket and had to fill it then split the reward. It worked a treat as there kind of working together.

LadyT it is fairly common to get crushed vertebrae as we age, I mixture of bad posture, work and just age and degeneration really. My nan had one it happened when I was quite young. However, I think in view of his history it should be indicative of the need for further investigation. I think your right, your sister has lower expectations of her trust. I think that is unfortunately what happens when you are a part of that industry (as you have certain expectations of your own compared to lay people). I see no problem with asking whether an MRI might be reconsidered given his history. What does your dad want?

Ooh, Spot, I will look up your book! Exciting. I am up for Brighton but it's my birthday on the 16th so that weekend could be busy. I will ask DP what's doing.

WG, I meant to say I haven't forgotten about sending you the Clearblue machine, the sticks and the books but the books are in London so I need to get it all together when I am next there. And Veggie - I still haven't sent your parcel, but I will!

Effie, if Dad was a woman, as it were, I would be less worried as bone weakness is obv very common. But in men not so. My sister did promise to phone this morning.

It's slightly tricky as she has worked for the NHS for aeons and whilst she is most aware of problems within it, I do wonder whether she thinks I ought to be more grateful for the care available. DH was treated privately for his cancer treatment and I have had mainly private care for the last few years and I think it changes your expectations/perpective. To me, not scanning someone in my Dad's position, with a cancer history and sudden unexplained spinal fracture when his particular lymphatic cancer can migrate to the spine quite easily, is clinical negligence. To my sister...it's just the way it is. Anyway, I don't want to keep going on about this.

Right, busy day today...the flat looks like a bombsite, so I must tidy up, order some more bits for the new shower room, write a travel piece and then go over to the new house to do some painting.

Cross posted with you, Veg. New bike sounds lovely. My Dad is off his tits on morphine so doesn't know what he wants, other than to go home Anyway, obviously I really hope that I am totally wrong, the vertebrae is just one of those things and he just needs to rest until it's better (a hard thing in itself as he is never usually still for a minute).

Oops posted a bit early.

WG sorry your still feeling crap. I just read a little thing about a lady who was a big high powered newspaper editor type, who got made redundant and decided to be a SAHM to her 2 year old and baby which is due soon. It was quite good. Made me feel a bit better about stuff this morning. About your needed to organize things. I've never been much for routine or being particularly organized but now it's an essential thing. I turn into a real monster about 20 mins before we havevto leave for anywhere. This used to be the big blowout fight highrisk time. DH is a nightmare for time management and I feel like as well as getting the boys ready (though to be fair he helps get them sorted too, but I need to steer it all) I also have to keep reminding him to stay focused as we have to leave soon. He'll often wander off and spend half an hour putting his contact lenses in or start flossing! We used to fight often as I would get flustered and impatient with him and maybe say cheeky nasty things. It would usually end with me getting really narked and everyone miserable. So DH realised that if he just went with the flow let me have my little organisational time keeping panic until we got out the door, go with the flow (do what he is told) he knew as soon as the front door closed i would relax. Obviously you need to let DH do some stuff for himself and realise that he has to help out. But I think more importantly he needs to let you be organized trying to tell you not to will just antagonize. He needs to accept that day to day life is different now, as much as these little people fit in with our lives, there is still a fair amount of us shifting over to let them in.

Spot so excited about the book. What's it called I tried to find it by typing in your surname and conception but didn't get any joy.

Beans lovely photos, did you go for a walk in the river?

Oh cross posted with you too Lady. I'm ignoring our house, DS2 is still asleep and apart from putting the dishwasher on I've done nothing but make myself coffee.

Spot, I forgot to say, DS2 started walking in November and started wanting to walk outside in mid December around the time it started snowing. It was quite a nightmare as I felt quite stuck inside and his need for attention and entertainment from me was huge. The relief now it is sunny is massive. We can go out for a walk or ride now and he so happy just looking at new things (like a different shaped rock or a stick) just a slow walk around our block is enough for him. This weather is just the best.

I'm so sorry, must apologise I seem to have completely lost the ability to use commas.

Morning All

Lady - I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's back. It actually happened to my FIL a few years ago and for no reason other than his bones had just worn out. He had to have a fairly big op to have a bit of bone moved from one place into his vertebra and he is now absolutely fine. And it wasn't cancer related. He doesn't have the same history as your Dad, so definitely push for the MRI, but I'm hoping this might put your mind at rest a little bit, in terms of it being a man with the same issue and not to do with cancer.

DH managed to shut Whizzy's finger in the door last night, pretty hard. She was SO unhappy and screamed until she was sick. She only wanted me, and so when I held her, she puked on me! Her finger is fine - a bit red this morning, but not swollen and definitely not broken. Poor little bird. DH was so worried - I was amazed that I wasn't more angry with him and actually felt v sorry for him. It was at 7.20 and I'd said she should go to bed 10 mins earlier and he'd said no, she was fine. There was that mean, spiteful, hateful part of me (which I really don't like) that thought "well, if he'd listened and put her to bed when I said, this wouldn't have happened etc", but I ignored it and had to comfort both of them. I think he was almost more upset than Whizz was. Anyway, she went to sleep 5 mins after it happened and kipped through til 7 this morning, so it must have exhausted her! But she can bend it and doesn't seem to be in pain this morning, so all ok! Poor DH and DD!

Am still dripping snot and doing one of those irritating little dry coughs at work! Every now and again I get a good cough out and feel better!

Work couldn't be more dull, but only 14.5 days in the office til maternity leave - yeehah! Having Braxton Hicks this morning - v exciting!

That is really helpful to hear about your FIL, Beans, thank you.

Ooh, sorry about the finger. It's horrible when accidents happen. Although I dropped a hot cross bun on DD's head on Sunday and you'd have thought it was a boulder, the way she kicked off. Can't believe it's only a fortnight until you're off! Bet you can't wait. I presume that's the end of the Beryl Barbaras then? I don't think I ever had a Braxton Hicks. But I don't really know...

Oh dear, getting no tidying done

It's not a fortnight, as I only work 3 days a week, so have evilly counted actual days... So it's 5 weeks. Which is no time at all anyway - hurrah!

Yes, DD brushed her head against my hanging coat at the weekend and it was obviously agony!!! Hee hee! little hypochondriacs! But last night was actually clearly quite painful!

Yup the Beryl Barbaras finish on 13th May. They've found another family to take over from us, which is good. BUT was speaking to the nanny this morning and she's found antoher job. Clearly I'm sworn to secrecy, but I think she just feels like there's too much change and she needs something steady. Can't say I blame her!

She's probably had enough of the Beryl Barbaras....

Oh, this is probably old news to most of you but we have had such fun with bubble mixture over the weekend. DD loves it so much, so to those who haven't got any, get some!

PS for some reason the image of hot cross bun being dropped gave me the giggles. Quite random - like this picture - makes me howl with laughter. Why would someone take a picture of a rabbit with a dropscone on its head??!

I think the wabbit got off lightly! The hot cross bun I accidentally dropped on DD's head was quite heavily buttered and it landed butter side down

I thought I was making some headway with the name I want for DD2. DP think it is a name for Great Dane (and I don't mean Hamlet) but he is seeming more resigned to it. I think there could be quite a heavy quid pro quo though. He wants free rein on the two middle names (which I don't mind) but wants me to agree to having the chickens or ducks he wants at the new house. I wanted an English country garden, an idyll. I don't like chickens (in particular), with their stinky, pecky, clucky, beaky ways and their dead unblinking eyes and also don't fancy dealing with the inevitable fox massacres with entrails strewn in my hollyhocks, not to speak of the endless dramas about who will feed them if we ever go anywhere. Fresh eggs will be scant compensation.

I agree re chickens - find them a bit creepy. Although ducks might be quite cool - you could get a pond put in for them. And duck eggs taste nice. And are a pretty shade of paint. Hens have that grotesque flap of wobbly red skin as well, which kind of make me feel a bit sick. But I do like a spot of roast chicken... DH wants chickens as well. Bags he look after them! And a cockerel would wake everyone up at some ungodly hour. If child doesn't.

Am having a slight panic as there seems to be a massive shortage of 4bed houses to rent in the Streatham Hill/Tooting Bec area at the moment. SH*T!

Hi all, just a quick post from me am in the Dr's about to beg her for something to make my throat and ear better. Sh ehad better not say it's viral this has been going on for a wk now.

Anyway......

Ladyt what a worry about your dad hope there is a positive outcome. I did chuckle about your DD and the hot cross bun.

Beans hurrah for finishing soon. Daytime telly lots of smuggles with DD.

WG sorry things are still rubbish listen to these ladies wise words they all speak.

Spot how exciting put a link up to your book.

Veggie you sound alot happier this week. Your new bike sounds lovely.

DS2 is being an absolute terror he just doesn't stop. He has reached the screamy stage, joy.

DS1 inthe other hand is being fab. Lots of funny little made up games generally involving Buzz Lightyear. We were in the post office yesterday and they are doing some thing with travel insurance and Disney Paris so have lots of leaflets with Buzz & Woody on he spent the whole time running up and down the que of people holding the leaflet saying Buzz Lightyear to the rescue.

Oh my turn.