Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

Hello, just wanted to come on and wish everyone a Happy Easter. Hope you all get plenty of choc.
WG, far wiser people have come before me but just wanted to know am thinking of you and sending you a virtual squeeze.
Normal service will be resumed next week, promise.

Squiffy

Just sneaking on as at a random gym in Sheffield watching friends' kids have their swimming lesson...WG, DD eats zip at the moment - it has been a bad week for eating again and she only has formula, bananas, apple, toast or baby biscuits. She will simply not eat anything else. I am not very happy and keep trying her with new things every stressful mealtime but there's nowt I can do about it if she refuses, so I am just letting her get on with it. Madam will be fine, whatever you are feeding her. Please don't fret.

As to DH...you have to let him do thngs but you know that. I sympathise with the 'if I wasn't here what on earth would get done' feeling, bet most of us have that one. I cope with it by saying brightly "Oooh, would you mind awfully doing x whilst I just do y" and that helps. What about a spot of time apart? I was getting quite annoyed with DP by Wednesday but since I have been away, all that has dissipated and I just miss him, actually. But really, I just wanted to send my love to you.

Had a lovely time at Mum's and now having fun with my friends - back to my sister's tomorrow for the day and then home. Hope you are all having lovely Easters. Veggie, what were you drinking last night? Oh, and I STILL haven't told anyone about being pregnant...Mmmm, in a couple of weeks...or something...

Lady it was a lovely cote du rhone. Feel a bit ordinary today though, I didn't even have a full bottle, I'm such a light weight. Having a lovely time with our friends. Went to the beach today, though not the best weather, but all the beach cafes have been set up which is great. Summer is on it's way. Took the kids to the Pirate family restaurant for dinner which went down well. DS1 & their DS1 are so hyper now, they had a very successful Easter egg hunt this morning and are full of chocolate.

How has your weekend been WG?

Lady, tell people when your ready, don't forget it was a bit of a surprise for you so get your head around it first.

LadyT: it's your news, tell people whenver you want! Or wait till 20 weeks and let dp tell everyone ;)

WG: hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon.

We're having a lovely Easter, the boys haven't eaten too much choc but there is an awful lot left. DH got me some gorgeous Prestat chocolates so is well ahead. I cooked lunch though.

Hope you are all having a great weekend and happy Easter to you all.

thanks for your messages. am so dreadfully colded up, i cannot believe it - am normally so resilient, it takes only 3 days to get over something - this is, however, something else. have lost my sense of smell/taste/everything.

however, any problems i thought i was having with dh have paled into insignificance after skyping my bf in new york - she has an 18mo ds and is 5 months pregnant - her h has basically walked out on her, saying he is interested in another woman, doesn't understand why marriage is so tough, and if it is this tough, then it surely isn't right etc etc. she is being amazingly stoical about it - she reckons (rightly) that in order to give it some sort of a go they are going to have to have couples' therapy and that is going to take a while, that her hormones are going to be all over the shop until the baby is born, and then some time after that, so she is thinking she doesn't have to MAKE A DECISION for quite some time. and if her h makes the decision for her in teh meantime, at least the decision has been made. she is a wonderful person and i hate to see this happen to her. it is so awful to be so far away and unable to help. shocking.

happy easters to everyone. and may this sodding cold sodding sod off sodding soon.

Happy Easter ladies
Not had much chance to laze around with the lap top - we're only on Monday and I'm already running out of ideas for entertaining Lu - only 13 days left...Went out to a park this afternoon then all had MacD's for tea P ate 4 chicken nuggets, a few chips with sweet and sour sauce and a bit of Lu's ice cream! Bad mummy
Actually I think coping with the girls is quite easy compared to coping with DH! He can be such a misery guts at times and I just want to say "cheer up or just go away!". We're not going through the best of patches at the moment but I know I'm not the only one in that boat, and I know it's a phase and it will pass, but for the moment it's no fun.
WG so sorry to hear you're in the dumps Hope your cold is on its way out.
As for food I'm finding it increasingly tricky to feed Phoebe. She used to pack away anything, but she's become quite willful (!) and is quite determined she'll only eat what she fancies. She loves omlette (picks it up with her fingers), weetabix (which she ends up having for tea several times a week ), yoghurt, sweetcorn, salmon, potato salad, cheese, pickled onions, satsumas, tinned fruit, and anything vaguely biscuit or cake-like! She used to adore pasta but now throws it across the room, toast is hit and miss, for beans she needs to be in the mood, banana she will eat one day and squeeze to a pulp and smear on her surroundings the next...She drinks only water, and not a huge amount of that. I've no idea if she's getting enough of anything she's supposed to have, but apart from the endless green snot she is healthy and seems to be growing, so I'm not worried. I'm far less strict about allowing chocolate and biscuits than I was with poor deprived dd1!
P has not BF for about a week now so I think that's it for us. My boobs are ok again now so I have the pleasure of watching them shrivel before going to treat myself to a small yet underwired bra!
As for the wierd symptoms...well I'm sure I'm not pregnant basically because it would be almost impossible, but I still feel a bit odd. Random tummy pains, lower back ache, a bit sickly and dizzy at times, spots (aaghh!) and tiredness (when was I last not tired?) but I think the more I think about it the more I imagine the signs! In answer to ZJ's question, if I were up la duff I would be a mixture between really really excited (I love being preggas!) and very scared (DH does NOT want a dc3). I don't think I'd cope and I'd be so likely to get PND it would be a big worry. But it's not going to happen so no need to even consider it.
Sorry dh wants to 'do' something (which normally means play a dull strategy-type board game which he enjoys far more than me!) so I must go. Sorry I've not done any personals. I have been reading but don't remember much off hand, other than Veggie you are clearly very loving and a real role model mum, and there's no way you are going to break you children. you are building them both up, day by day, and you doing a fabulous job of it. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for your 2 little Veggiebites

oh gosh wg that is awful for your friend. And hard for you to be so far away. Just being there for her, albeit via Skype, is no doubt really supportive and helpful for her.
Sorry the cold is outstaying its welcome.

Hello I have just had an unexpectedly lovely Easter, I was dreading visiting relatives but I had a great time that was helped by a) being allowed to sleep between 9-11am on Easter Sunday. I havent done that for at least 3 years ! And then, b) the boys got 3 eggs each so we had to "help" them to eat them. Then we came back today and spent all today in our pyjamas eating chocolate and watching TV. Lovely.

WG sorry about your cold and your DH. Nothing makes me feel like I have fallen out of love quicker than sleep deprivation and demanding small children. We have had some quite major problems of our own which we still havent sorted so no real advice, just sympathy really. Although what is helpinghere is me leaving him with both of them while I have some time to myself, and letting him get on with it, and not telling him what to do or give any advice etc. I've tried to be a bit less critical and a bit more forgiving and tried to let things go (ie stop obessessing about nutrition etc), so I am less uptight about things. Also, planning good things for the future so its not all boring stuff like shopping and cooking - ie planning nice family days out etc. And trying to remember why you fell in love to start with - which is difficult sometimes for both of us - he fell in love with free and outgoing 21 year old, a bit different from what I am now !

Good morning ladies, hope you all had a lovely Easter.

WG that is such sad news about your friend. I can't imagine having to deal with all that whilst also being pregnant.

Trace your Ps food repertoire sounded quite well balanced. Also I know your not planning another baby but FWIW I think you have come through the PND quite ok. I know your still on meds and bit feeling 100% with it but you've kept in your job (started a new one at that) & you've delt with Lucy starting school and some health worries. I know there is so much more risk with subsequent pregnancies but surely if your being monitored. Anyway I guess it's a moot point isn't it as like me your DH isn't up for another one.

Sorry that was supposed to be 'not feeling 100%'

another night of only 2 1/2 hours sleep so went to doctors and this cold has turned into sinusitis and an ear infection. let's hope the antibiotics sort it out pdq. glad i am not just a malingerer.

anyone else already fed up with the election coverage? bbc breakfast has gone a bundle on it. another month of this... oh, good!

WG You poor thing, sounds like you are in a bit of a cycle with your DH/ relationship - and remember that absolutely ANYTHING seems worse when you are exhausted. I'm sure Madam's current sleep issues are a phase - it's just so hard when you are in one to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whenever DD goes through one of her awful sleeping phases DH and I basically revert to communication by grunt with the odd snipe from me about what a mess he has made.

I definitely think the suggestion of some time with just the two of them to be not only a good one but ESSENTIAL sometimes for the health of your relationship. The other day, I took a mid-week day off, DH was off too and we spent the entire day in town shopping and having a lovely lunch (while DD was at nursery as usual). It was one of the nicest days we've ever had together, all the nice for being such a rarity. Is there any chance of you doign something like that, or at the least as people suggested getting babysitter and going out for a meal? Though I can totally sympathise with not wanting to do that when you are so tired and not feeling well.

Re eating, DD is a little trooper which I do put down to doing baby-led weaning (and that she is difficult in almost every other regard so I've got to get a break somewhere ) but I certainly sometimes struggle for new ideas for quick suppers/meals when she's hungry and it needs to be sharpish. Our standbys are scrambled eggs & toast, a quick lentil/bean stew (we're all vegetarian) and she always has a big bowl of porridge for breakfast, which I like to think sets her up for the day. Mind you over Easter her staples were chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. Oops! And for a healthy-ish treat I got a recipe from a fellow baby-led weaner back in the early days of weaning which DD still loves - basically you blitz flour, an apple or pear and some milk (whatever kind you give them) in the food processor, and voila, healthyish pancake batter!

Oops posted a bit early there. Daisy how's BabyDaisy and how are your bruises??

Trace has P self-weaned then? My niece did the same when my sister was PG. Hope DD does the same should we ever brace ourselves to get around to number 2

We had a lovely easter at the in-laws and a slightly less nice day at my sisters with my parents. As usual my sister was her totally self-involved self, barely spared a glance for DD. My dad's just as bad - he sent photos round from the day and there's about 3 of DD, and about 400 each of my sisters kids. Plus when we arrived she'd just woken up so was in that "face in mummy's chest" mood they often get into. Not crying or anything, just sleepy and a bit shy. My dad promptly calls her grumpy. I was quite sharp with him as I was so pissed off with his endless negative comments. I might even have a word with my mum about it.

DD had one day (Saturday) of terrible teething mood but was then lovely the rest of the time and has all sorts of new tricks. My favourite is putting her hand over her mouth if she drops something (Like "oops!") and pretending to drink from a cup/glass making gargling noises even if there's nothign in it. Oh, and she FINALLY has decided that she might want to walk after all one day - she's started walking with our hands and even stood up by herself for a few seconds here adn there.

yay for minikiwi's standing and walking!

thx, kiwi for wise words and recipes - v useful. am hunkering down at dad's - no mobile phone reception (ugh), but wifi (yay) and sodding bbc election coverage. will you be running some fashion/election stories? i have a friend who is a producer for bbc breakfast and to talk to her, you'd think it was newsnight. alas, i think it is rather more like the one show - must keep quiet about that.

Oh god I hope not. I usually do end up having to try and be vaguely amusing about politician's outfits at some point. And failing miserably. There is nothing amusing about suits.

WG - any more sleep for you? Poor you to feel so dreadful, but I'm sure it will get easier. DD goes through waves of eating and not eating.

But fish fingers with peas and sweet potato mash are a firm favourite and so easy to prepare - I mash a load of sweet potato and freeze it and it lasts for ages! And she loves mince too. Peas are almost the only veg she gets - although I sneak mushrooms, courgettes and grated carrots in before I blend it a bit. And of course mushrooms and garlic. Then serve with baby pasta or mash.

Does anyone have any tips on toothbrushing too? I have no idea. DD sucks on her brush and paste in the bath, but she has a full set of gnashers and I don't know how to brush them without a total strop happening!

She is walking quite a bit now, but still prefers to crawl - grr! She met her first real cow and duck at the weekend and spent a long time saying "mooo" and "cla" (quack) and a lot of ufff, which is woof for a dog. Was v v sweet. And got thoroughly and regularly scratched by my parents' vile cat, but she wouldn't leave him be. Calls him a "dat" - v cool. Loving all this learning and sudden advancement!

Was a lovely weekend and am thoroughly exhausted by a thick cold. Thought you weren't meant to get ill when pregnant, but no such luck!!

Am going to post a couple of pics on profile of the weekend now!

Lots of love to all others. DH and I always having the odd issue, although when I'm ill, he's gorgeous to me, so am feeling a bit happier today. Had some corking rows over the weekend - mostly because he was slagging off my Mum. I can see why, because she can be annoying, but if I'm ever rude about his mum he goes mental, so feel it's real double standards. So told him so. And he apologised. A BREAKTHROUGH!!!

xx

Just re-read my post and I don't think it makes much sense. Sorry! Total leaping from one subject to another. Totally idiotic.

Hope everyone had a good Easter though?

We're off to Paris on Saturday as DH running the marathon. Leaving DD with my parents and not back til Monday evening. I know I'll miss her, but on the other hand - bliss! I intend to lie in!!!

Hello everyone,

WG Your poor friend, how terrible. Yuck to feeling so poorly. Hope you feel better soon. Re food. DD is getting increasingly fussy and is very picky. One day she will eat weatabix, a few days later it gets thrown on the floor. I do find that if I have little portions of meals frozen, I don't really care if she pours it into her lap, rubs it into her hair or throws it on the floor. The effort that went into making it has passed and it doesn't feel like a personal attack on my cooking.

How about giving responsibility for something that isn't integral to the running of the house. I've given over the putting away of the clothes to DH. Half the time the bedroom is overflowing with piles of clothes and I keep finding DD's socks in with my stuff but I am not his mother and this is not a hotel . On a more serious note, a lot of what you said rang a bell with me and I'm sure many others on here. I too am a planner, and find it unspeakably annoying that DH is the opposite. I often feel like I am juggling everything, part time work, childcare arrangements, food shopping/meals, most of DD's care, most of the housework and all DH has to do is to go and shuffle paper about in an office full time.

zoe Grand, is anyone else interested in a York meet up? trace? Do we have any days off in the week in common? I'm off Mondays and Fridays.

beans That sounds wonderful. Lie ins and afternoon naps! What a treat .

I'm going to have to read up on toddler tantrums. Since learning to walk DD has an inflated sense of her own independence. She threw a wobbler earlier because I wouldn't let her walk down the kerb into the road. I thought it was meant to be the terrible twos? Are our babies not too young for all this?!!

Hi All (I wrote this about two hours ago so excuse the fact it is probably out of date),

We had a mixed Easter weekend. Friday was nice, we had an Easter egg hunt at a friends? house and the girls were on great form. Then on Saturday we took them to the London Wetlands Centre which was great. DD2 shouted ?duck? at all 1000 birds we saw and seemed to thoroughly enjoy herself. Then on Sunday some terrible mood took hold of DD2 and she cried and shouted at us all day. Sigh. WE had gone to some friends? for brunch and it was frankly embarrassing. She wasn?t ill or anything, just cross. Yesterday was a bit similar. She just gets so angry sometimes. It is almost scary to see. She clenches her fists and turns red and just shouts ?argghhhhhh? over and over. I can?t work out what sparks it most of the time. I pray that when she acquires proper language it will help her. She is such an odd dichotomy between being a lovely affectionate smiley girl and a little hooligan. I am about to have three weeks off without the nanny and I am actually a bit scared .

Kiwi - Your parents preference for their other grandchildren over your DD reminds me of my parents in law. They dote on their other three grandchildren and are much more critical of my two DDs. They also offer childcare for the other three and never offer childcare for our girls. I find it very upsetting and hurtful especially given (a) my kids are clearly superior and (b) my parents are dead so they only have the one set of grandparents. If I were you I would have a word otherwise it will continue to haunt you. I can?t have a word because it is my parents-in-law but if it were my parents I would definitely want to tackle it.

WG - Sorry you have an infection and that sleep is still rubbish. I was also sorry to read your post about the state of your relationship at the moment. AS you know I have felt similar recently. However, Weds and Thurs DH and Ispent the days together with no children and did lovely things. It was such a tonic and we both really enjoyed one another?s company again. Could you do something similar? I too am bored of the election coverage and that is despite it being directly relevant to my job . I also live in a marginal constituency so am likely to get door stepped several times over the next few weeks. Actually I quite like living in a marginal as I plan my questions for the prospective candidates in advance and then harangue them for hours getting rid of all the steam I pent up by being totally impartial at work.

Trace - How do you feel about the weaning? Are you happy or will you miss it? By the way, I second Veggie?s comments about how well you have coped with the PND this time around.

Right, back to work, its manic here this week and I am working in Dublin next week. But after that I will have three weeks off. Bliss.

JB Let me know if you read anything useful! DD had a hilarious strop at dinner on Easter Sunday which had us totally baffled until my father-in-law brilliantly realised that it was because we were all drinking from wine glasses and she wanted one too!! So she then had her water from a wine glass and was happy. Just hope the next stage isn't "But I want the same STUFF you have in your wine glass mummy" ...

Aub I think you are right. Have written a little email to my mum saying that it upsets me and so on. I don't think he realises he is doing it, so hopefully she will gently point it out to him ...

Oh and Aub you were very near me! I live about 10 minutes walk from Wetland Centre

Are you in Barnes Kiwi? I didn?t realise you were so close. I live just across the river. We could meet in the Wetlands Centre one day ? we have an annual pass so go there quite a bit.

I'm a total control freak too - to the point where I like to be the one who dresses DD and when DH does, I usually find something wrong with his choices! But I'm starting to relax now, which is great. Only thing I can't relax about is the routine - which I really should do as she's old enough to be flexible now!!! Terrible me.

I love that strop about the wine glass, Kiwi - v sweet!

Re the inlaws/parental favouritism - bizarrely, my inlaws favour our DD massively and compare her favourably with their grandson, which is really hard. Must be so hard on their daughter, though - I have endless sympathy with her and have to say, find it really uncomfortable when they do it. I never know how to respond as they're not my parents so I have to be polite. I hope it doesn't make me sound like a smug person - because I'm not, promise. Their little grandson is a year older than DD and so sweet. But he is 2, so is a bit more difficult/tantrummy than her, plus he will only eat toast literally. But that's no one's fault, it's just one of those things. And I think it's so tough on my sister-in-law, without her parents hanging over her, saying "Dont' you think he should be eating something else" when she's tried everything!!! But he's 2, and pretty healthy, so I can't see anything wrong. When he's ready, he'll eat other stuff!

Aubs Pretty near Barnes, up Roehampton direction really though. But I have an annual pass to Wetlands too!! We should definitely meet up there, it's lovely for the little ones. Especially once DD actually does eventually walk ... one day... [crosses fingers, touches wood]