Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

Effie, I can't remember, what do you do? I suppose some jobs are easier than others to take a break from. I work in pr and have been working for myself for three years. I don't think an agency would touch me with a bargepole now as my contacts aren't as good as they used to be and media knowledge is somewhat hazy nowadays. However, I do intend to try to go back into agency work once the kids are old enough. It will probably mean taking a pay cut, and going in at a more junior level than I actually am, but with a view to woking my way back up again. That is if we don'twin the lottery in the meantime .
Veggie, I think that is really sweet of the Mum. Sonmetimes I think the teachers have to be so pc that they can't actually admit to there being a problem. I am trying to make it clear to DS's teachers that as parents we actually need to know what is going on as it is no good them just being punished etc at school, it needs to be consistant.
JJ hope the meeting actually happens this time and that things are sorted out for your DH.
Spot, hope T isn't ill again and that it is just a fleeting temperature.

effie answer katie will you!!

veggie, that was so nice of that mum to speak with DS. Lets hope it puts a stop to it.

Rubena: sorry to hear about your brother. Are you ok? It's frustrating dealing with these things from the end of a phone line. Meant to say thank you fir the info on carpet cleaners - will have a good nose later.

Thanks for the kind comments on my work wobble. I work in the heritage field, loads of people would like to do my job (one of the reasons it isn't great pay) and I think I'd find it hard to get back in. Had a good chat with DH about it. Will keep at it and have a hard think about what I really want to do and how I can make it workable. It's just extra hard at the moment with DS1 being off nursery. As we don't have family near, emergency childcare is me or DH. Anyway, I was being a bit self pitying so ta for indulging me .

Veggie: glad you have a plan for DS1. I think the medical romances are aimed squarely at the old biddy market so they have to be careful! If you want some lighthearted romance stuff I heartily recommend Jennifer Crusie's reprints of her early books - Anyone But You is still one of my fave reads and was a m&b. She went on to write some 'proper' books which are also really good.

lol Daisy
Agreed! Answer Effie!

Also:

I wouldn't worry about bacon

if I worked for DH we would be divorced in 6 months. Or one of us would be dead .

x posted Effie yeah I'm ok - just really worried. I'm sure it'll end up being fine it always sounds worse when you're miles away and ds being grumpy and tantrumy all day didn't help while I was trying to field texts and give advice etc when I didn't have all the facts

I did! I did! Can I go and drink my wine now?

It is horrible being told about stuff you can't do anything about. And of course our Dcs pick the best possible times to try us! Hope you all get a good night's sleep.

Hahahaha I'm trying to resettle DS2 who has woken already (ruddy teeth) and I'm not doing a good job of it because Daisy made me laugh.

I think I might give him some neurofen to head off a bad night. DH has to leave tres early as he has a one day job in Denmark, so I don't want DS2 wiggling and whining all night. Oh and also for his own comfort of course.

Rubs that all sounds a bit worrying and, well
exhausting. Is this the DB with kids, who was divorced from his wife and met this lady?

Don't get me started on working with DHs. I
swear DH should pay me, he is in a team leading role and I'm constantly advising him on what he needs to do in certain situations. At the moment he has one particularly lazy team member who is really taking the P. He refused to do a one day onsite job this week because 'he had something else on'! It is the only schedualled job he had to do this week. Now DH has to do it on Wednesday, after getting in from Denmark late tomorrow. I've told him he should talk to the guy about his responsibilies to the job and that nothing gets in the way of a client job. I think he wants to keep th's piece though and is holding back for now.

Rubs, that sounds very difficult on you re: your DB. It must be quite draining for you especially being pg. I'd say have a wine and try not to worry too much but obv you can't. Take it easy, and I hope your sholder eases soon too x

veggie hope ds2 has settled. The excited squawking thing, I reckon people are fine about that because it's obviously a happy kind of baby noise - if it's crying that's harder for people to take I think. Perhaps because they wonder why the parents aren't doing anything to sort it out, because of course that's really easy It was me near mudchute, I was in a flat right at the bottom end of the island (with views over the river!). I loved the walk through the tunnel over to the Cutty Sark for work (in the Naval College ) but the walk home at the end of the day was always a bit grimmer...

spot poor T and poor you being bullied why do children treat each other so horribly? And then it carries on into adulthood which is even worse. Grrr.

effie yay to TV success! Knowing the field you work in, I'm sure it's one of the more forgiving for taking a career break. Things don't move all that fast in our area... Seriously though, if you did take time out it's very unlikely you'd be deskilled after even a few years. Hope you're enjoying your cheerfulness!

rubs the family situation does sound difficult, and especially if he's gone awol. Hope he manages to talk about things soon before it goes too much further.

well DH got home at 8.15 tonight so that's not too bad... we're hoping that he'll at least get his paperwork morning back (since that was cancelled 'for a trial period' back in September) as it's the paperwork that really takes the hours and hours. They're still short about half a doc since one of the partners retired, the ideal would be if the others were willing to lose a bit of money and hire a part-timer to take up the extra sessions - they're all overworked, but dh is the only one with a family at home. Really shouldn't complain as so many people are struggling to find work at the moment

Effie, I can't remember, what do you do? I suppose some jobs are easier than others to take a break from. I work in pr and have been working for myself for three years. I don't think an agency would touch me with a bargepole now as my contacts aren't as good as they used to be and media knowledge is somewhat hazy nowadays. However, I do intend to try to go back into agency work once the kids are old enough. It will probably mean taking a pay cut, and going in at a more junior level than I actually am, but with a view to woking my way back up again. That is if we don'twin the lottery in the meantime .
Veggie, I think that is really sweet of the Mum. Sonmetimes I think the teachers have to be so pc that they can't actually admit to there being a problem. I am trying to make it clear to DS's teachers that as parents we actually need to know what is going on as it is no good them just being punished etc at school, it needs to be consistant.
JJ hope the meeting actually happens this time and that things are sorted out for your DH.
Spot, hope T isn't ill again and that it is just a fleeting temperature.

Evening all,

effie Mmm, it is hard to know what to do without having a crystal ball. I understand completely where you are coming from, I'll have a similar dilemma myself when my current contract ends in the summer. Could you do a job share and go part time? My DH works in the Heritage field too but ooop north of course. Well done on the TV aappearance. When is it broadcast?

Rubs How difficult. Has he done anything similar before? Hope you hear from him soon.

I'm really excited about DH coming back tomorrow.

Bugger, DD is crying. Must go.

Effie, I can't remember, what do you do? I suppose some jobs are easier than others to take a break from. I work in pr and have been working for myself for three years. I don't think an agency would touch me with a bargepole now as my contacts aren't as good as they used to be and media knowledge is somewhat hazy nowadays. However, I do intend to try to go back into agency work once the kids are old enough. It will probably mean taking a pay cut, and going in at a more junior level than I actually am, but with a view to woking my way back up again. That is if we don'twin the lottery in the meantime .
Veggie, I think that is really sweet of the Mum. Sonmetimes I think the teachers have to be so pc that they can't actually admit to there being a problem. I am trying to make it clear to DS's teachers that as parents we actually need to know what is going on as it is no good them just being punished etc at school, it needs to be consistant.
JJ hope the meeting actually happens this time and that things are sorted out for your DH.
Spot, hope T isn't ill again and that it is just a fleeting temperature.

Oh shit, have I done a LadyT and broken the thread?
I don't know why that message keeps posting, sorry!

Thanks all.
Veg - yeah thats the one.
Jolly no nothing like this, but he does tend to be a bit 'Boy who cried wolf' about some things. The gf contacting me is rare which is concerning.
Might have to try for an early night tonight in case ds is a terror again tomorrow. Not a peep from him since being in his new room so I know he was shattered.

Hello girls

Bit tired as seem to have spent the day legging it after buses and trains and walking all over London - had to see my consultant today after scan last week then go and get booking in bloods done. DD has got a cough and diarrhoea - a frightening combo. I didn't want to schlep her all the way to London today but DH was stuck at court so I had to...The consultant always scans me as well so it was lovely to see the new little nipper again.

Rubes - no, I haven't told ANY of my family, you are quite right! I haven't told anyone apart from DP and you lot My family will be delighted, don't get me wrong, but I think my Mum will worry about money, and I don't want to fret her for now. Everyone probably assumed I would go back to some sort of work after this coming Christmas (even though I do writing work at home). Family aside, (or my family aside, because DP's mum is a different kettle of fish), I'm absolutely dreading telling people as I find it hard to deal with people's thoughts/remarks/assumptions, for all sorts of different reasons. I worry about telling my late DH's father as I support him financially and he will fret that I am even more overburdened if I have another child. Friends and acquaintances will think I have abandoned my career entirely. It's just all too...exhausting and anxiety making. So I will keep schtum for another month, I think. Anyway, I 'm sorry you've got this stress with your db and his gf, and I hope he feels better and comes home soon...And lovey, your poor shoulder!

Baby oil - am I the only one who uses it? I smear a bit on DD sometimes after her bath. I like the way it makes her smell (also she has oddly rough legs for a baby!) But I use it on me sometimes too. But mainly I use Bio-Oil.

JJ - I am crossing fingers that that meeting for your DH results in a reshaping of the workload...And glad I am not the only one getting a rear facing seat Which one have you got?

Katie, I echo others who have said that you should go in and chat to the teacher if she is misunderstanding your notes (or maybe in fact being a bit obtuse). Although you have actually decided to do that anyway, if Boy A's mum hasn't dealt with her lad. I do hope things improve. It must be terrifically stressful.

And Spot, I would like to bash those bad girls who bullied you at school. Grrrrr. Bullies make me see red! That would be the only thing, really, that DD could do to disappoint and enrage me - be a bully.

Effie - glad your tv stuff went well! Would there be any way of doing 3 days instead of 4? I suppose you would be even worse off then - or even three and a half?

Oh, and I want to ask Invis if her name is an hommage to Adam Smith! It came to me today

And yes, Veggie, I am with you on the advice to other halves! I'm going to ask DP to start paying me a retainer

There are so many others I wanted to reply to but I am bushed so I think I am going to flop off to bed. This is super early for me!

Ach, referred to DP as DH in first para - obviously I didn't mean that! He should be so lucky

Just running on to say we got our first choice primary school for DD1 . We are so pleased. I hardly slept all night waiting for the results. The not buying the house of our dreams was actually worth it. Now she is sorted until 11 and DD2 will get a sibling place no matter where we move. Massive stress lifted off my shoulders.

I hope you get good news from your bro today Rubes. What a stress for you.

Hooray aubi thats gret news

Rubs, hope your sholder is a little better today, DS is good for you and that you hear from your DB.

LadyT how is DD today? Hope you don't catch her bug.

DS has started coughing and wheezing again so we are back on the inhaler. Hopefully that will ease the wheeze. We go away for a few days on Easter Monday so i am hoping it improves. Otherwise we will be away and he will need his powder stuff to sort him out.

I'm thrilled for you, Aubi, hurrah! Does this mean you are going to think about moving now? And what have you decided about Sweden?

DD seems ok today thanks Daisy (well, she is still coughing and covered in radioactive green goo, but at least the diarrhoea has apparently gone. I am glad, not only for her but myself - the last lot travelled so far and in such a weird direction it broke at least one law of physics. Oh no, sorry your DS is wheezing again. Where are you off to? I'm off to my Mum's tomorrow night for a few days, then to some friends in Sheffield and then to my sister's for a day. It's weird being away for Easter for DP has a mate coming down to work on the house and this flat ain't big enough for the both of us

Veggie, you reminded me - I must take that second package to the post office! That way you might get it for Easter.

One of my good friends in the cricket team is expecting his first baby - it's the fancy dress wedding I went to last Sept so they've made short work of it! I'm pleased, they are lovely. Also, the due date is 4 Oct (my official due date is now 1 Oct), so weirdly in synch. I told him I was having another baby so that has given me a bit of courage to tell some others - will probably tell my Mum and sister at the weekend.

Well done, LadyT - I always think it's good to bite the bullet and just tell people. didn't tell work for ages and it stressed me more and more them not knowing!

I'm now into my third trimester, which is so weird. I have these terrible moments when I'm so scared about this new one coming. What if I can't cope, or if I neglect DD, who I love so much. Or if I neglect the newbie? God, am terrified. Mustn't think about it too much!

DH back from skiing. Nice to have him, but he has been quite critical of me so far, so actually am resenting him slightly. I'd like to see him cope on his own for a week without me. not sure he'd be any good. I don't know, just feel really under appreciated. Made us fillet steak with dauphinoise potatoes last night as a special treat and he was so ungrateful. Felt like throwing it in his face. Never mind. Plus we haven't even started looking for a place to move into yet. And it's down to him we put our house on the market so late, which is really irritating. Anyway, I mustn't get resentful as leads to rows. But needless to say, my initial excitement about seeing him again has faded somewhat with the reality!!!

I hope all sickly babies pick up soon. DD is streaming disgusting green snot, but seems to be sleeping ok nonetheless.

What's everyone doing for Easter? We're heading to my parents for a long weekend, which I'm really looking forward to. Dad had a hernia operation yesterday, so is a bit wobbly on his feet, but will be lovely to see them - I can't wait!

Aubs - meant to say - HURRAY HURRAH! Congrats!
x

Beans I felt just the same as you when I was pg with DS. I was convonced I couldn't love another baby as much as DD, and was so worried about her feeling left out. But it was better than I could ever have hoped for. in fact one of the advantages of not having a huge gap is that they will play togerher. Just lately DD has really taken to playing with DS rather than him following her around. Although her games usually involve DS having to be a dog/baby tiger/naughty mouse/tinkerbell, all of which means he has to follow her around and do as he is told!

Ladyt we are off to Devon on Easter Monday, near Newton Abbott I think. So looking forward to a break.

Hello all!!!
Quick lunchtime cheeky post!

Aubs, that is such good news, much be such a relief!! Definitely worth holding off on the dream house for, especially if you can now move if you want to.

Effie, I can't remember what do you do? . HEHE! It sounds to me like you're having a temporary wobble about work and actually would like to stay working.....is there any chance you can go more part time?? I like working 4 days but I think it would be hard with 2 and with a decent length commute.

rubes very impressed you would think of working with your DH ... yikes. I think living together is quite enough for me!

beans your DH sounds like a bit of a grumpy grump at the moment. Why is he being so ungrateful when he just got a holiday while you stayed at home looking after DD? We are having a wobble about our house being on the market at the moment as we want to buy and not move into rented. We don't have any offers yet, and it's increasingly clear we won't be able to move before no 2 unless we are really lucky. I am thinking of taking it off the market for a couple of months and putting it on again with the hopes that we can get buyer and place to buy set up for a couple of months after no 2 arrives. I just don't think a buyer is likely to be impressed to be told that we have to complete in 3 months otherwise they have to wait 5 and a half months!! Has your potential buyer had any luck getting a buyer??

rubes hope your brother is getting things sorted out, sounds stressful.