May 2009 - A new start. Mine's a large gin please.

[runningmonkey]

Here you go ladies.

spangle - wow! Small age gaps are fine, I'm one of three, I'm the oldest and there's 3 years between me and the youngest, we played together a lot when we were small. Hope all is ok.

ses - hugs. Hope everything improves soon.

sausage - you've had some good suggestions about food. Please try not to get upset about it, it'll work out. Easier said than done though, I know.

momino - hello!

belgina - hope you are ok.

All ok here, DD1 is very very spotty now, but fortunately not terribly ill - just grumpy. A is a bag of snot, poor thing, but no sign of the pox yet. Beatuiful weather here atm, fortunately - I think I'd go mad being quarantined in the house, at least we can play in the garden or park!

I've been reading Buddhism for Mothers, as recommended by llareggub (and others, I think?). Anyway, it's very interesting, incredibly reassuring, and I'm trying to change the way I'm thinking about/handling things. Early days though, and the pox isn't helping!

Hi everyone

Just had to do a quick reply.

spangle Congrats! Short age gaps are great for play mates, ds and dd1 are closer, but not quite that close and they're the best of playmates. I only ever get faint lines on tests and all 3 bfps were clearly correct . If it takes then you and your DH will have a lot to come to terms with. Whichever way it goes, sometimes things are meant to be the way they are. Hope you enjoyed your sneaky glass of wine

momi How nice to see you back

saus I agree, I had lots of battles with food with ds, and with dd1&2 I'm much more relaxed. I have decided that no child will starve itself to death and that they'll eat when they're hungry. C loves pasta too btw. Today she had tortellini (spinach and ricotta) with tomato sauce. She must have had about 6-7 pieces

ses Hope O feels better soon so you get some sleep again. Hope work gets better too.

C's got a mysterious rash and then this afternoon I noticed the back of her ear was all weepy and horrible. I've given it a wash and made a drs app't for the ear. I got in touch with NHS direct for the rash and as she's chirpy and hasn't got a fever, they think it might just be one of those viral rashes that goes. At first I thought the rash looks like prickly heat, but it's not actually all that hot.

I saw in the RCM magazine that my old employers are missing me so much they've taken out a whole page job advert I must have left a big gaping hole on the ward.

Right, bed now. Work tomorrow and I'm going to try and get up on time today. On monday I woke at 6.15, thought I had another 15-20 min before getting up and next thing I knew it was 7.15 I have to leave at 7.30!

That wasn't all that short, lol.

Flipp, I hope the chickenpox aren't causing too much havoc.

spangle- just saw your posts . As for false positives, i thought there was something called a chemical pregnancy which can happen when testing early? So definitely a good idea to pour a wine, prepare yourselves for the possibility of another LO, but also to get some more tests and try again next week. As for small age gaps, there is only a year between me and my sister, and it was lovely having a sibling close in age. And a friend of mine has 11 mo between her two - her second was in no way planned and very unexpected.

As for having to move house (I know your DH doesn't want to)- there are ways of making it work for a few years yet- bunk beds or cabin beds with storage underneath, assuming your second bedroom can accommodate 2 small beds. I shared for years with my sister in some very small bedrooms.

Anyway, look forward to seeing you next Monday if you are still up for it, given your shock today.

God. I have been welling up constantly for the last hour. Watching poorly babies on telly and red wine is not a good mix. I used to work on that ward a few eons ago - I don't think I could now, I'd just walk in and blub!

Spangle glad your DH is calm - I think his 'worries' are pretty common, though? The thought of me having another baby scares me, though, like I don't think I would love it half as much as I love M, but of course that's silly. Hope the teensy wine helps

Flip - thanks for the food thoughts. Wil try not to beat myself up about it - going to make some chicken-y ball things a la AK tomoz and DH made some squashed sardine things at the weekend so will see how we go....

Nnight all

Evening all.

Spangle Blimey Hope the glass of wine is helping you calm your nerves. Glad 1st day of work went OK too. Have a sneaky hug from me too.

Sausage my DH didn't let me finish watching GOSH. I blub all the way through it. Such amazing people looking after such sick children. I always go and kiss my LOs while they are sleeping after watching such programmes. I am so blessed that they are happy and healthy. I should remind myself of that when I am next bellowing at said children, when they totally ignore what I am asking them to do, and when they are asking me for the zillionth time 'Mummmeeeeee pleeeeeeeease can I have something else to eat' ad infinitum.

Ses Sneaky hug for you too. Sounds a bit hectic.

Momi glad you see your name back.

Belgina at the full page ad. I do hope your work gets a bit easier, and you get to know some of the team better to be able to make some friends. I think that is a bit of my problem at work - the fact I don't know anyone well and have lost my team. And I sit on a bank of desks on my own, surrounded my numpties. Hey Ho.

Flip hope the DDs are all feeling better soon

I missed the GOSH programme- it was so sad last week (I blubbed). I watched the special panorama which just made me at all the parents who didn't see/understand that they were responsible for their DCs obesity/dental health etc. and that what they were doing wasn't enough to make things significantly better .

Just a quick AIBU for you ladies. AIBU to be that my DS1 has decided to call me "mum" and not "mummy". He's not yet 3, and I really like being a mummy and i always think becoming a mum happens when DCs are a bit older. I am coming to terms with it, and it is quite cute when he says it, but i don't want him to grow up too quickly!

Spangle wow, what to say?! I'm with the others, there isn't such a thing as a false positive. My age gap isn't particularly small but I'm very firmly of the opinion that small can work very well indeed. I have several friends with DCs a year apart and they are best buddies. It is lovely to see. Take care of yourself!

momino it is lovely to see you back as momino!

Belgina Somehow I missed your post about work the other day, I'm sorry. I've been back a couple of days and part of me understands a little, perhaps. I've gone back to my old job but most of the people I've worked with and like have moved on. I know hardly anyone and it is pretty miserable. I don't have any work "friends" to chat with and I feel like the new girl, even though I've been there longer than anyone. We've also restructured and quite frankly there is no work for me so I'm likely to be moved elsewhere pretty soon, too. If I had to do something useful like deliver babies I think I'd really panic after a year off. Do you think it is the double whammy of being new, having had a year off?

Midlands meet sadly I am at work on Monday, but have fun! I wish I could be there.

flippinegg how is the chicken poxed child?

pula My DS (3.5) has also started calling me mum instead of mummy. He'll use mummy if he is shouting but tends to use mum in general conversation. I don't really know where he has picked it up from. I always correct "mum" to "mummy" in books but still he does it.

Tummum hello!

Well, I'm off to bed. Had words with DH this evening over the state of the house and other tedious matters. I feel like a real nag but to be honest I think the root of it is a combination of the boys not sleeping particularly well and my return to work.

Morning, just a quick post from me, forgot that my Mum was coming to visit this weekend and so am supposed to be frantically cleaning but instead am sitting her with a coffee, one of A's easter eggs and MN

spangle wow! I can understand your concerns though. I know lots of others have said so but false positives are quite rare - the lines I got with A were all v faint (did five just to be sure!!). Glad your DH reacted calmly too.

ses sorry you are having a bit of a rubbish time, broken sleep is an absolute killer at the best of times. If its any consolation we have more teething issues here too (I thought we were supposed to get bit of a break after the front 8 were through )

Big waves to everyone else Have a good day all x

Ooooh it's quiet here today....

I'm here! I'm supposed to be at work but H is poorly. He had a high fever on Sat/Sun, was much better Monday but I took him to the GP anyway as a precaution. I felt a bit as I was all apologetic to the doctor, saying I was probably wasting their time, and then after examining H she told me he had a chest infection and ear infection. I thought it was probably teething . H is on antibiotics for his chest and is a lot better. I'm hoping he'll be ok for nursery tomorrow as it's MIL's funeral .

I've been out this afternoon and bought some folic acid and a Clear Blue 2-pack. Just done one (total test count now 3) and am definitely pregnant. I'm feeling a little more positive - all children are a blessing, and I'm sure this one will be (should it work out) - but I'm still fretting, not least about H's rubbish sleeping and the fact he still ends up in our bed nearly every night. How am I going to cope with a new job and broken sleep and pregnancy exhaustion? And will I be able to get him to sleep in his own room before #2 arrives? Aaargh! I just hope I get a better sleeper this time round

running don't worry about the cleaning, get your mum to do it

belgina a whole page ad! They must need a special mw to fill your shoes. It's tough in a new job and I think hard to tell at first whether it's just a case of settling in, or whether the job's not right. Maybe give yourself a time limit - 6 months, say - and re-evaluate then?

Thanks everyone for the replies. My plan is indeed that: 6 months there (until I get my band 6 finally) and then hopefully get myself transferred to community or look for a job in the other local hospital, which is acutally a smidgeon closer too.

spangle So it's confirmed. I think your concerns are definitely normal concerns for anyone who gets pregnant with no 2 whether it's planned or not TBH. I was also wondering whether H could share with the new baby. I hope the exhaustion wont get too bad for you and if anything maybe it's an idea to put off the sleep training until the turbulence of those first 3 months is over.

DH and I are also exhausted due to lack of sleep. Co-sleeping used to be a recipe for a great night's sleep, but the last 2 days it's been the oposite. C's just kicking and tossing (but no turning ) and generally keeping us all awake. I got so angry in the end DH took over. DH did put C into our bed at 10 last night, which I had stopped to do and which had been solving some of the sleep trouble, so tonight he's under instructions not to do that under any circumstances.

pula I think it would make you whatever age he was. I haven't quite got that issue, because I@m not a mummy but a manma

C's rash has dissapeared today, but she does still have a manky itchy ear. I'm seeing the GP first thing tomorrow with her, so hopefully he'll be able to tell me what's the matter. I'm wondering if it's an ear infection or something.

oooh spangle congrats. Like the others I'm sure this will be a happy surprise - when the shock has worn off! Hope the funeral isn't too distressing tomorrow (what am I saying? Aren't they always) but I hope you and your DH get through it. Am looking forward to meeting up on Monday.

running enjoy the chocolate and sod the cleaning!

pula I would be if DS1 stopped calling me mummy and he is nearly 5, but what can you do?? I have some friends who have kind of dictated what they are called and their 6 year old calls his dad "pappa". All a bit contrived IMO.

belgina echoing everyone else's comments re work. But a whole page had to fill your shoes. You must have left a massive hole! Let that go to your head for a bit!

llare those first few days back are a bit of a shock to the system. I think I had words with my DH too. The whole doing a full days work, picking the kids up, then having the witching hour or two till they are in bed all seemed overwhelming at first. I felt like I was never going to have a moment to myself ever again as you still have all the jobs to do once they are down, but it all settles down. My solution is to employ a cleaner! However, I have yet to find one but it should take the house cleaning stress away at any rate when I do.

Scan is now looming. Am getting slightly worried now. I'll be 8 weeks on Friday which is when my problems tend to start. If we get through Friday, the next 4 weeks will be worse than the last 4, as my MCs have mainly been between 8 and 11 weeks. Fingers crossed everyone please????

Fingers crossed for you Headless and also for you Spangle. I hope it goes well tomorrow too.

Belgina I think you would be an amazing community midwife. I know I've said it before but you really were wonderful to us all through the ups and downs of pregnancy.

Headless - everything crossed for you and then some. Is the scan this Fri?

spangle - thinking of you with everything you've got going on. Hope tomorrow goes as well as it can.

Belgina* - sounds like a good plan but I hope things improve as well.
Hope Dr is helpful with C.

Pula - YANBU but good on you to go with the flow. My mum insisted I call them mummy and daddy til after I left home so most of the time I wouldn't call them anything IYKWIM.

flipp - hope DD1 isn't suffering too badly. Has DD2 succumbed?

Had a better day here. No work for starters! That also meant that I could lie in bed dozing with O until 8.30 - bliss! I felt v refreshed!
Llare - I'm so with you on the whole sleep deprivation + work = v short fuse

Evening all!

headless - thinking of you and keeping everything crossed.

spangle - hope tomorrow is ok, thinking of you too.

ses - lie-in sounds lovely!

Well, my refreshed, happier self has well and truly buggered off! Nightmare day today, DD1 just whined all day. And when she wasn't whining she was weeing herself. I know she's ill, and I do feel bad for getting irritated, but the non-stop whining really wears me down. No sign of pox in A yet, but she's snotty and back to her clingiest. We've all got cabin fever too, we go out most days so we all find it hard to be stuck at home, and I really miss the adult conversation . I've had to cancel my counselling session tomorrow as I can't ask any of my friends to look after the girls for me.

Sorry for the mememe bit. DD1 does seem to be on the mend, there's no new spots today and the oldest are starting to scab over. She's fortunately been sleeping ok, but A isn't, as usual.

I still need to write my letter to work, but I have decided that I'm handing my notice in. It's not really a surprise, is it?! I just haven't got round to writing it yet. I want to be quite rude in the letter, but of course I won't!

Bah, there's always stuff I forget!

belgina - your plan sounds sensible, I hope the 6 months doesn't drag for you. Fingers crossed for a better night tonight too.

pula - I'd be a bit too. DD1 for some reason has started calling me mama or mumma, although she does sometimes call me mummy too. Not sure how the mama started, I certainly haven't suggested it - I had a friend when I was growing up who called his parents Mama and Papa (with a short 'a' then a long 'a', so Mamah and Papah, iyswim) and it made me chuckle.

Quiet evening! Night all!

Hi all.
just finished work. I really don't feel like I can keep up. I'm too tired to start work at 8pm and be productive. belgina, I'll do the six-month-watch on the job with you. we can compare .

ladyH keeping fingers crossed for you, Lovely. try to relax. eat some carbs. and chocolate.

spangle,I'm glad you feel settled about the pg today. it's very exciting!

pula, my dd1 sometimes calls me mum. llare, i, too, 'correct' books and change to Mummy when it states Mum.

flippin, hope tomorrow is better. CP and poorly children, not a good thing. sorry about your counselling session as well. do you go weekly? is it helping you think? I hope so. if you need a substitution for counselling tomorrow, come on here to off load.

llare, was wondering how work went. hope it gets better for you.

running, I like your way of cleaning !

Hi tumm, saus and anyone else I've missed.
Ses, glad you got some sleep today.

speaking of sleep, I shall be off to get some zzzzzzzzz right about now.... yawn. good night.

I'm on the 6 month job watch, too. But I had some good news at work today which hopefully means a much happier time for me. I'm really very pleased and I am hoping it will re-ignite the interest I once had in my job.

I echo what momino says about the counselling, flip. Can we help in any way?

I've been swimming this evening and now I'm off work until next Wednesday, hurrah!

Morning!

Well, so far DD1 is in a better mood! We're going to go out today, not sure where, and we won't meet any friends, but at least we'll get out! I get fed up of being in the house all the time, it's getting cramped now; we live in a small 2-bed terrace and it's just full of stuff, including DD1's birthday presents - we tried to control who gave what a bit but it was impossible. We'll have to be firmer with A's presents (because we've got so much suitable stuff already) but then I feel mean for doing that, for her always having hand-me-downs. Is there an answer?!

llareggub - hope things improve at work, sounds promising. Momino - I can't imagine having to work evenings like that, it must be hard.

Thank you for asking about the counselling. I haven't been going weekly because of childcare nightmares, but going regularly. I've got one more of my NHS sessions to go, so I am keen to do it for a kind of wrap up, iyswim. I think it's helped me to get my head in order a bit, and get some perspective on things too. But the biggest thing I think is that it's forced me to admit to some of my RL friends that things aren't great and that has been an enormous help.

flip, so glad dd1 is better today. hope it means you have an easier day.

about stuff: we're having trouble figuring out what to get H for her birthday because, as no3, we already have so many toys/junk we don't have room for another ride-on or walking toy,etc.

spangle, just read what I wrote to you yesterday - hope you didn't take it as too simplistic. i did mean it's exciting but also know from my last 'surprise' experience, it produces a whole torrent of emotions. just take care of yourself , take it day by day.

hope everyone has a good day.

Hello

I did something amazing earlier - I walked to the shop! Ok, I know that sounds daft, but hellooo gammy hip and all that! M was in her pram so I could lean on that - don't think I need crutches anymore, although I think I'd still take one if I was going OUT out.

Oooooh headless - good luck for tomorrow, I will have everything crossed for you. Please do come back on asap and let us know how it goes.

...and Spangle - glad you are feeling more upbeat about it too. Have you gone to the GP yet? Hows H? I hope today isn't too awful for you and your DH x

Belgina - good plan, I always think (spesh in NHS) that giving a job 6 months is a good idea. Although, I once worked at the Portland (swanky womens and childrens private hospital in London) and it was AWFUL so I only stayed 4!

I'm getting a bit worried about going back to work, only in as much as I might actually enjoy it and want to actually stay. I don't know what to do. I have to be there at least 13 weeks and my notice period is 8, and I actually haven't formally resigned yet although my manager has blabbed it to everyone that I'm going. Think I might see how it goes for a month and then decide. It would scupper all our plans about moving to near Cirencester, but the way my mother has been of late I don't want to live anywhere near her! Part of me is pining for my old life back, you know, meeting friends for lunch at the weekend, mooching about southbank and other nice Londony places - DH said now we have M I can't have my old life back at all and I have to move on, and any friends from London worth their salt will always come and visit us..... aaaarrgh sooo confusing. We also keep chatting about TTC sometime soonish when my hip is better, but there needs to be some, ahem, action I think first!! Sigh. Just feel I am mummy these days, and not 'sausage' the nurse/ wine-all-round-y/ fun person anymore. Have lost a bit of me. Hmf.

God what a whinge. Does anyone else feel like this at all or am I bonkers? Am I unrealistic to want a bit more than being a SAHM? (may hate work the minute I walk in!!!)

Ooh I need to cut my fingernails - am tapping away here!

M is fast asleep - just went in and checked on her, and it stinks of pooh...! Ugh!

Sorry, flip, do unload to us on here - someone will come up with something constructive and reassuring - and you're lovely, so I can vouch for that for starters! Admitting things to RL friends is a HUGE start, and also a great relief as I had found, and then realised I wasn't bonkers but entirely normal to be feeling what I was at the time.

Ooh I forgot. We're going to book a holiday! A week away somewhere very soon. I had rose tinted visions of a little villa or something in Spain / Balearics where it is hot and there is a beach and everything. DH suggested Holland and Told him where to go...... (not that Holland is bad or anything, just can't imagine the whole North Sea swimming experience....)

Hi, just popping in quickly whilst the boys are sleeping. I won't be able to much of a nc as my brain is mush due to sleep deprivation. I really must post more often!!

Hopalong I can identify with you feeling like you've lost part of your identity. Don't have any answers though as I haven't found them yet!! Have to say that I really miss living in London, but it would be nice to have you up the road!

Spangle thinking of you today, hope all goes well and congratulations on your bfp! I hope you and your dh can get your head round it.

I've gone from Mamma to Mummy, which I didn't like, I'm sure Mum won't be long!!

Headless got everything crossed for you tomorrow!

Sorry my brain can't cope with anymore! The boys have had fevers, coughs and colds all week. They sound like they've been smoking 40 aday for life and are as miserable as anything. Ds2 has been really unsettled at night and we've been up to him a good 8-10 times.

I'm sure there was something else i was going to say ...