Fab Feb 2009 bar: toddle on in, grab a pew: mummy's in need of a drink or two...

[dinkystinky]

New thread for us to natter on about our toddling terrors... complete with some virtual booze. Mine's a french martini....

The outfit sounds perfect MoS. Sounds like your fairy godmother was listening. Best of luck for tomorrow - remember, they would be lucky to have you (not the other way round)!

SM - glad the children centre staff are going to ensure that mother gets some help, education and support. Good luck with the looking after the kids. That wendy house sounds lovely.

Danny is teething again - another 4 buggers (2 molars, 2 canines) on their way through. Seems never ending this teething lark. Ho hum. SIL and BIL arrive from the US this weekend (volcano permitting) for a week or so and have offered to bring us stuff from the US but cant think of a single thing I'd like. Any suggestions anyone?

It's all about positive thinking!!! That's my mantra at the moment too. Wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow MOS - knock 'em dead! Good to see you were given the all clear on the pox for H.

Dinky I always used to get my sister to bring Skippy peanut butter - the best in the world! - and Reeces Pieces (can you tell I'm a peanut junkie!) but I can't think of anything exciting. Anything for the DC's? Is Danny's teething causing more nighttime disturbance?

SM good to hear the staff are being helpful and supportive. How's the knitting going?

Nothing too exciting here, jsut the usual. We're going to the 40th birthday this weekend and have to dress as a "World Cup Nation" so I was buying Mexican sombreros, ponchos and fake taches for us all last night!!! I need to persuade DH to drive so that I can really get into character with some tequila .

Got a family dilemma to face - won't go into detail now, but basically would involve my Dad giving us a lump sum of money and coming to live with us (in an annexe). Hmmmm. Anyone doing/planning to do anything like this?

Really must do some work but hope to stop by later on! Enjoy the sunshine everyone.

hello all,

dinky sorry about all the teeth coming through. Are you mad, there are hundreds of things I'd want from the USA. Osh kosh clothes, aunt jemima maple syrup and some lovely little baby snacks they do. Still have one tub left from our last trip, will go and check, hang on a min.
Gerber graduates baby finger food. Do really nice flavours and best of all, they don't make a mess.

STW difficult one. I guess a lot depends on what sort of relationship you have/will want to have (ie how much privacy, whether he will be in and out all the time) and how much you will be doing for him. Much as I loved my mum and would have done pretty anything for her, she was very high maintenance and it would have been hard. Hope you manage to make the right decision. You also have to think of the affect on O and S. How would they be about having grandad on hand all the time?

SM have you finished the scarf?

Am a little calmer today. Yesterday really was the day from hell and I was panicking about everything. I'm organising another (yes, I said I wouldn't do it again!) charity sale which is tomorrow from 4 to 6pm in the cafe on our compound. I'll need to be there from around 2.30ish to 7 and DH is away, due back later tomorrow night. Have sorted (finally) a babysitter who will get back from school at 3.15pm and will come and collect them from the cafe so they'll only be running around for around 45 mins before she gets them whilst I'm setting up. Hopefully she will take them home/to the park and then bring them back around 5pm and I can then get them a nice healthy chicken nuggets and chips tea during the sale.

Think I've done as much as I can so far, it will be just the setting up and getting stuff down there which a friends DH will pick up.

Calm about I/V now. If they don't like me, they can sod off In any event, I really don't know why I applied for the job. I had been thinking of updating my cv to put on all the courses I've done in the last few years and had thought about maybe trying to get some locum work in the UK during the summer when DS1 saw the advert and suggested I go for it. Seriously didn't expect to get an interview but that is good enough for me knowing that at least someone wants a sniff of me IYKWIM?

Good news my lovely nanny (Nura) can work tomorrow am. Didn't think she'd be able to as she normally has to leave by 12.30 and not sure I'll be back until 1ish so that is fab. Also means she will be here at 8.30am and I'll have over an hour to get ready before I go and won't have to risk getting puked on as I take H a few doors down on my way out

Anyway, enough about me (apart from the fact that I've turned down G's nursery offer in the UK). Will stick it out for another year, apply for a place for her at the infant school in Sept, find out in March and take it from there. If she gets a place great, will then have the decision making stress again, if not, may stay a bit longer. At the day, if I go home now, everything we've saved over the past few years will be swallowed up with DC1 and 2's school fees. That of course shouldn't be the only reason but of course its a factor. There is me waffling on again after saying enough about me

take care all

ps STW did you get the makaton papers?

Dinky Hope D's ok with the teething.
STW The knitting's going ok. I learnt some more stitches and started a scarf the other day, but every time I mess up a bit, I end up unravelling it and starting again, so not getting far. I need to let go and stop being a perfectionist really.
Re your dad not sure. I'd like to think if it was needed I would.
The money would come in handy and if it's an annex it's not like you'll be ontop of each other 24/7, but I think you'd have to come up with some kind of ground rules.
mos see above re the scarf I don't actually get too much time either. I can't do it when the boys are about and the cats get a bit excited when they see the yarn coming out! So by evening I'm quite tired, hence lots of mistakes
I'm sure we all understand you wanting to stick it out for the school fees. I can't say I wouldn't make the same decision.
\\\\\\\\but, if there is no improvement in this coming year, I will have to order you to get out.
If we are all having this conversation this time next year I will tell you i don't want to hear it and get your arse back here sharpish!
Fingers crossed it won't come to that and your dh will realise how lucky he is and how much he will lose.

my brain hurts so can't read much but just wanting to check in [waves] hi guys hope your all ok

good luck MOS

dinky teething nightmare! hugs

sorry so brief xxx

Thanks guys - poor old Danny is off his food (that's when you KNOW he's teething or ill for sure) and rather grumpy and drooling all over everything (I tend to go to work with drool marks all over my suit and get v strange looks on the tube ) and not sleeping but other than that he's good. I'll just be glad when he's finally got the full set and we can hopefully finally get a good nights sleep or two.

STW - difficult one that. Friends of ours are planning to do similar (bereaved dad is an architect - when he retires will move in with them and build his annex apparently). I agree with others - I think you need to figure out how will work - will they be in same property/different wing/have own space and entrance - in practice and agree that all round to ensure that everyone doesnt end up getting aggravated. but if it works, would be fantastic for all of you.

STW, it depends alot on your relationship and his personality. dp and i have discussed this and if it was his mother or my father we think we could manage it (in fact have already offered to dp's mother if she needs to leave dp's dad - aggressive alcoholic - she's more than welcome here). My mother however there's no way in hell either of us could live with and same goes for his dad obviously. Good luck with the decision.

mos... hope the interview is going well

hello all
well I think that the interview went really well. was interviewed by 4 people, 3 of them men in uniform
The brigadier that I'd be working for was really nice and I warmed to him and the other guy that I'd been in contact with about the interview arrangements. Think I'd really like the job but sadly can't accept if I'm offered it as the timing is crap.
Job training 3rd week of June and job to start 1st July so crap timing. I'm flying back to UK 29th June and having important stuff on over summer (MN meet ups!) so sadly would have to decline if offered.

Was happy thought that I got an interview and got through it. First I/V in 7 years and for a tough job so if I can do well at that I'm sure I'll be ok for other I/Vs. Quite often jobs come up at the British Embassy and now I've decided I need to get a job (for my sanity, think that was one of the reasons I was thinking of returning to uk) I'll start looking properly from sept.

Had a nice chat with DH on the phone last night. He left one of his meetings early and drove home the long way past mum and dad's grave and put some flowers on it. That meant a lot to me.
I explained to him how I feel I've vegetated out here and don't have any respect any more and need to re-build/re-start a proper career. He was really pleased by that and said one of the things that attracted him to me was me being a professional career woman. And there was me thinking it was my arse

Hopefully we are making progress and talking now

STW hope you are ok and not stressing too much about the annexe/relative moving in issue. Wouldn't want to have to make that decision.

dinky hope Danny isn't too bad and you are totally over your flu

waves to everyone else x

Glad you enjoyed your interview MoS - as you said, the experience is great and hopefully having met you they'll keep you in mind for future posts. Great that DH is being more appreciative and thoughtful - long may it last.

mos That's great that the interview went well, I knew it would (and I've only met you once). It's always nice to know that you are employable even if you can't do it.
I'm so pleased that your dp put some flowers down for your parents. He's not a complete arse after all
I'm also pleased to hear you're both talking and communication sounds like it's taking the right road.
FWIW, I sometimes find it hard to talk to my dp face t face and find over the phone alot easier. If that is the case with you and dp, you should both take advantage of this trip he's on!

yoohoo, how is everyone? i've just had a quick scan (of the messages, not pregnancy) and there appears to be a LOT of baking and knitting going on. quite the perfect home-makers.

MOS well done on going to the interview and it going well. it's such a nervewracking thing especially after not doing one for so long. i hope it's given you a good ego boost and a bit more confidence about what you can do. now that H is getting a bit older and with (hopefully) a bit more understanding from DH it may mean you can start to think of other possible job opportunities. i bet even just making the decision not to come back for at least a year will help clear your mind so you can concentrate on what will help make you feel more 'you'. and keep on talking to the dh, he has to know how far you've been pushed and what sacrifices you've made so its definitely his turn to return the favour and help you out. and as his flower laying shows he clearly does care, just needs a big old shove from time to time.

dinky sorry to hear you've not been well and i hope the teething pain eases off. Ivor has been bad recently, 2 top molars slowly worked their way through but i think there's a lot going on at the bottom too. so far he's got 6 top teeth and only 2 on the bottom.
how is Danny's sleeping now? Are you getting a bit more rest?

STW simply no advice whatsoever on that one i'm afraid but definitely one to think and talk through a lot before decisions being made.

it's still pretty grim at work but i'm off on holiday to the in-laws in Spain in a week and a half so i'm counting down the days for that now.

my sister is getting married in august so this weekend she came to visit from wales and we went dress shopping for her. she is most definitely not having a wedding, wedding but we found a beautiful dress and supped much champagne. now i just need to lose about 5 stone and find a dress for me!

Hi KBN - sorry work is so grim still (seems never ending). Danny's sleep, when not teething, is so much better than it used to be - will generally sleep through but just wake quite early. Which is a relief. Holiday sounds great - v jealous - as did the champagne supping shopping! Re losing weight, if you want to do it WW is great (think MOS went on it too) - otherwise you can go join a diet thread on here and be shouted at by strident dieting lunatics until you get into the weightloss zone

hello all,
busy few days. Wed pm had the nearly new sale which was manic without DH to help with the DC. Didn't sell as much as I'd have liked but bought lots of bargains so it was just as well DH wasn't there so I was able to sneak them home and later will pretend I've had them ages.
Seriously though, clothes really expensive out here. Places like Mothercare and Next kids T shirts around SR80 (around 14/15 pounds which is daft for just a plain T shirt) Ended up buying loads of a friends things. She quite handily has a DD of around 5 and DS of 3 so bought lots of her stuff for G & H at around SR5 (about a poundish) for designer tops/trousers.

KBN you summed it up so well in your post about me now being able to concentrate on what I need to do. I have realised in the last week I need to work. I know I'm doing my signing and studies but still need to return to a 'real' job if that makes sense. Will aim to get something from Sept onwards.

Not sure if I said but am selling books and cards out here now for charity. Have been doing cards for a few years from home/a little cafe but finally managed to get my cards and books in the compound supermarket which is great news. DH came back very late Wed night with about another 250 books and now have a contact who sells them at a school off compound which is good. She sold for me last month and made me around 300 pounds, a lot of which will be profit as I've almost got back what I initially invested. DH spent a few hours yesterday helping me price up stuff and was quite pleased to realise that the money from this will be for our holiday fund and fingers crossed, could make around 2k a year from it. So I don't just sit on my arse all day

KBN You DON'T need to loose 5 stone you mad woman! Dinky is right, I did WW online and initially (during lent) I lost 10 1/2lb in 6 weeks but then was a bit naughty so put around 4lb back on. Am starting over tomorrow (our Monday) so watch this space.

dinky hope you are feeling 100% better now and danny is not giving you too much grief. I'm still waiting for the day/night that H sleeps through.

right off to price some more books x

Hello.
How is everyone on this very sunny morning?
mos You have inspired me. I am going to make an appointment at the job centre next week to have a chat about a training plan and new career start, see what they can do to help me and what advise they have.
Part of me feels I'm ready to do something now.
Another part of me wants to continue to be a SAHM and enjoy the 1 on 1 time with Luke when Jacob starts nursery, and I am happy with my life atm, but I can't help but wonder what else is out there for me, you know?
Is that really bad?
I mean, I don't need to work, we get by ok on dp's wage, and I'm really enjoying this journey I'm on with the children, it's teaching kme lots about the person I am, want to be and could be, but don't want Luke or Jacob to suffer if I decide to do something else.
then there's training. I will need to study and get some proper qualifications, but can't afford that without working.
Am I wishful thinking?
It can't hurt to have a talk with a career advisor can it?
What do you guys think?

Morning ladies. What a glorious sunny day it is out there

MoS - wow, you are so busy over there. Dont know how you do the book sales, signing classes, baking extravaganzas and everything else you manage to do on so little sleep! Am in awe.

SM - I'd say go have a chat. I think you've made a step towards a career that works with having kids anyway via your contacts with the childrens centre but having a chat with a career adviser cant hurt can it?

hi guys, glad its a nice day there. Too hot here now. Around 40+ degrees by around 10am which is stupid. Went to the pool at around 9.30am and had a lovely few hours. DH came for a little while then took H home after an hour whilst I stayed with G who was playing with her new friend who has just moved in a few doors down. Its lovely as they are only a month apart in age which is nice.

dinky sure is easier than being a family lawyer . Actually though, I was only saying the other day how much easier/les stressful working was as opposed to SAHM

SM sounds like an excellent idea but only if thats what YOU want. Don't just do it because you feel you need to. I've realised in the last week or so that I HAVE to work for my sanity. Much as I love the kids I'm not cut out to be a full time SAHM. Part time would be perfect.

Why don't you have your career talk/meeting and then maybe find something you want to do that you could study towards whilst you are home enjoying being with the kids?

I'm on my second distance learning course with NEC (National Extension College) in Cambridge. Have a look at their website (should find by googling) and I'm sure there will be something you want to do. Some of the courses can be done in around 6 months or you could spread it out. My first one cost around 150 pounds and my second around 180 pounds so not too bad in the scheme of things. Good luck x

Thanks girlies.
mos I willk def have a look at that site, and if i see something I like I will have to talk dp round
Am I too old to ask my parents to fund my studying

dinky I was thinking of asking the children's centre if I could do some voluntary work there.
I was a while ago supposed to do some creche work, but because it wouldn't be regularly enough to warrant me finding and paying for childcare, it never happened due to ratios etc, but I'm thinking of speaking to the big boss and asking if I can do bits where I can bring the children, and as they won't be paying me, they can keep their ratios and I can get some experience and get something else on my cv and I think I could make some really useful contacts there.
She can only say no can't she? I was thinking of suggesting creche, helping with groups, a bit of admin etc and just try to get my foot in with Surrey County Council.

jesus mos you make me tired just reading about all the things you do!

sm i think you spend a lot of time thinking about improving children's lives and helping parents think about ways of interacting with their kids so i think you'd be great following some sort of career down that route. and if you're worried about losing out on this time with luke then perhaps you could just start some studying like MOS suggests (tulips is the other brilliant example of juggling kids and studying of course). it's probably easier than knitting! going to see a career adviser really can't hurt, they may even point you in a direction you had no idea was there. it's definitely worth looking into even if you decide to put plans on hold until you're happier to make the move. i think you've got a lot to offer though.

i went to my first pta meeting last night. as the weather was lovely a pub garden seemed like an ideal venue, we whizzed through the summer fair details from the agenda and then just hit the rose (where's an accent when you need one? i am of course talking about wine, not a lovely smelling flower). ended up still being there when we were kicked out at 12.30am but feeling surprisingly ok this morning. perhaps i can convince myself it's all in the cause of creating better friendships with parents of dd's peers?!

Afternoon everyone, I have been rubbish again.. OMG I really hate chicken pox... Three weeks in and worse then ever!!!! My poor baby boy is covered you can not see a patch of skin because of all the spots... I have had a grand total of 4 hours sleep since Wednesday and am ready to drop!!! I am praying that neither of them scar, Jessica didn't scratch too much but some of her spots were the size of a 10 pence piece but owen is scratching with the palms of his hands as I have put socks on his hands... I also hope i havent passed it on to my newborn cousin and my best friends baby boy who we saw on Monday!!! Sorry for me me post but I feel very me me at the moment...

Thanks everyone.
I just called the local job centre and they can help me as I am not on any benefits.
I had a look at some distance learning websites too, the enc and ics, but will need to speak to dp first as the social care course I'd like to do is £170 a month!

I tried another direct.gov website and have an interview on 1st June with a careers advisor

well done SM. how exciting.

bumps not surprised you need to be a bit me, me, me. that sounds horrible, how are you still standing? hope they both get better soon and you can get some rest. there seems to have been a lot of chicken pox recently but none that close to us. dd had it already so at least when it does come i'll only have to cope with one at a time.

KBN at pub and rose.

SM 170pcm That is bloody daft, some of my courses cost less than that for the whole course which can take up to a year. Bloody stupid. They should be encouraging you back to work.
Good luck with your talk with the careers advisor. It seems you want to go down the working with kids route. Personally I'd rather crawl over broken glass but guess we are all different

bumps good to see you but so sorry you're having such a shitty time you poor thing. Fingers crossed the DC don't scar and you get some sleep tonight. I've been surviving on a few hours a night and crashed out for 2 1/2 hours this afternoon which is unheard of.
DH woke me when it was time for (me to cook) tea!
I'm back to the UK in 5 weeks, can't believe it, can't wait for some meet ups (THAT MEANS YOU TOO BUMPS EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRIVE TO BLUEWATER)

mos No no no no no no no no. I don't want to work with kids, I'd like to work with families I'd like to be able to help families that might struggle, help with children who might have problems at school, be some kind of support worker, but am interested in going into social work. I don't know. I'm 28 and the world is my oyster!

bumps Sorry, I am in a me mood
I am not looking forward to the pox coming to my home.
Hope the lo's are getting better xxx
Is that true about scaring if you scratch then? I don't have any scars and I've always been a picker

LOL SM!! Just stopping by quickly to say thank you to MOS for the Makaton papers. Am hoping to have a read of them tonight.... In a mild panic because our sombreros and moustaches haven't arrived yet from Ebay for the fancy dress party tomorrow....

Must dash - hopefully will get some internet access at home later to catch up properly.
xxx