Fab Feb 2009 bar: toddle on in, grab a pew: mummy's in need of a drink or two...

[dinkystinky]

New thread for us to natter on about our toddling terrors... complete with some virtual booze. Mine's a french martini....

mos - sounds like it could be what they call 'mini-measles' over here. It's a reaction to the mmr, typically about 10-14 days after the jab where the child gets the symptoms of mild measles but isn't contagious. try googling it.

Chicken pox is pretty distinctive, not a rash but red spots like blisters which itch like hell.

SM... you have history with the woman which entitles you to be a bit judgey tbh, i think the FB thing taken out of context with all her other shitty parenting doesn't sound that bad (not great but hardly the worst thing imaginable) but taken with all the other nonsense is fairly worrying.

As for the knives issue in general... i guess i'm just used to a different attitude to these things. Over here kids are brought up understanding about the dangers and taught to use items like that safely... at playschool they use real scissors and real hammer and nails to play with and when i was in kindergarten in Germany we were given all sorts to play with... including wood branding tools on one occasion The only cupboard locked in my house growing up was the one with the drink in it similarly the only things locked in our house are the cupboard with the baking stuff including the glass bowels because of A, the fridge as ds1 won't stop eating and the playschool money box.

Jacob can get into the cutlery drawer to get himself a spoon or something. There are steak knives in there but he knows where the spoons are and knows what he can and can't touch.
If I found him sitting on the counter with a knife from the block, OMG, I'd go crazy both on him and on myself.
maybe it's easier for me, because we're in a flat (1 LEVEL) I always know or have a rough idea of what my boys are doing.

Sorry mos... i was wrong, it's 5-10 days post vaccination:

"The commonest symptoms are mini measles i.e. fever, rash, being off food and generally off colour. If this occurs it is at 5-10 days after the vaccine."

not much more info online tbh, that seems to be about the extent of it.

just checked H's vaccination book and it was the 4th May he had it. Fever started last wed/thurs and the spots arrived Friday.
No blisters, just a rash, mainly on his tummy and neck at first but now pretty much all over. Definitely no liquid in them, just little spots.

He is definitely off his food (wish I was, have blown the diet) and off colour.

Think I'll take him back to the med centre tomorrow and get a second opinion.
DD is absolutely fine, no temperature or feeling unwell.
A lovely friend of mine came and picked her up a few hours ago to go and play with her boys and is just giving her tea before bringing her home.
I have such lovely friends, particularly you guys.
I have til tomorrow am to accept or turn down DD's offer of a nursery place. Think I've 99% made my decision but will sleep (if H lets me) on it x

That's nice of yourfriend to take dd for a bit.

Be sure to let us know what you decide. x

oh trust me SM, you guys will be the first to know before DH

Actually, it was one of your posts that made me think about giving him a second/third chance. I really don't think his parents were very good role models as parents as they showed (from what he tells me) very little interest. Given that they don't give a flying f* about G & H I imagine he is telling the truth. I think he needs to learn to be a good dad. Most of our problems are child related. DD is really playing up and H has been ill on and off for months. We are tired constantly which leads to little niggles. I'd say 90% of our issues are due to the kids. The other 10% is him being a twunt!

I love you guys, its like having loads of best friends that you can ask anything. Don't get me wrong, I have good friends out here but I have to remember that they are the wives of DH's work colleagues.

wanders in randomly and waves

what, you want an update?

Still completely hippy here, still breastfeeding, cosleeping, BLW...

my oy-it-was-meant-to-be-fab-feb-you-early-horror babe is now, well, pretty much as big as all of your toddlers. Laid back, very chatty (with all 8 words of vocab ), into everything.

I'm working full time, juggling children with OH (who is SAHD) - living 10 mins from work is good. Having coleagues who turn a blind eye to me bringing The Infant into work every afternoon for The Nap is even better

Just reading the last few posts has reminded me that I keep failing to get the MMR done. Is everyone here doing it? I've no objection to delaying a little, but my plan is to get it done.

welcome back stranger
Wish my DH was a SAHD. He'd last 10 minutes.
ref MMR, well you can see H had it and I've yet to find out if that is what is causing his spots. Will update tomorrow.

Anyway, have to dash, need to bath little monsters/darlings.

mos I'm sure you have thought long and hard about your decision, it cannot have been easy.
The post you are talking about stated the reasons why when things are bad, I stay. I have not lost faith in my dp yet and his ability to be a good father.
Of course we are all here to help and support each other in however we can, that's what friends do.
No one would ever be able to say you didn't give your marriage a good chance.
As long as you are happy with your decision and your children will be happy, that's all that matters.
However, i don't think it's right to make excuses for the men continuously.
If you stay you need to sit down with your dh and find the middle ground.
My dp, for example, needs alot of guidance in this parenting stuff. he needs me to lead him and to show him what and how to do it.
He wouldn't think about popping to the park on a whim, or putting them in the bath without me telling him to, so we are working on a rota. I know it shouldn't have to be done and might sound really regimental(sp) but it's a good way to ensure that we both do bits and pieces where the boys are concerned and a good way of monitoring how it's working.
Right now, we are just working on baths. Dp has to do it twice a week (I'll do the other 5), not decided on days yet, but this is where we are heading.
I will also demand ask him to put aside a 2 hour block every other saturday for him to spend some time with the boys outside the house so I can have a break, and I will gradually increase it from there.
Dp adores the boys and they adore him. he just needs a shove, in every sense

I also meant to say, don't let your dh defeat you and beat you down.
You are a good, strong woman who needs to have a happy life.
Don't let one sided effort destroy you.

Hey ommmward Glad all is well there, sounds like you have a good set-up.

Off to do dinner.
BBL

hello again ommward. I'm an MMR delayer too... on purpose usually as i think it's safer at 15/16 months than at 12 but in A's case he's been going from bug to teething to bug again so he hasn't even had his 13 month jabs yet so MMR has been delayed as much by circumstances as by choice.

I'll bet your 'oy-it-was-meant-to-be-fab-feb-you-early-horror babe' is probably bigger than A now

mos, SM is right... don't feel guilted into staying for the wrong reasons if you're not sure it's the right choice. Wishing you the best of luck either way though

Hi all and lovely to see you on Omward! Long time no see.
Flu still lingering here and Danny teething doesnt help much but otherwise all good. Had lunch at our next door neighbours today (their kids are 5 and 7 and DS1 played so nicely with them, Danny played so nicely with their dad who is v broody) who we're doing joint building work with later this year which was nice but feel totally wiped out now.

MoS - H's spots do sound a bit like a reaction to the MMR. DS1 had similar after his (which he had at around 16 months due to various lurgies before then). When DS1 had chicken pox I immediately thought they were the pox (a few big spots on his body that looked like pox and the Dr immediately confirmed it) so worth getting a second opinion. I reckon that nurse was probably wrong. Good luck with your decision too - you're the best person to decide what is right for you and your kids and I know you'll make the decision that feels right for all of you.
Feel the same way as you do about the lovely fab febbers though - its great having people who we've known for so long, and been through so much with, that we can talk to.

SM - I'd have posted similar on the silly woman's FB thread. Its just not funny. Tulips approach to knives etc sound v educated whereas that woman's approach is just reckless imo. Best to just distance yourself as she's clearly not going to take criticism, constructive or any other type, on her parenting.

morning all,
dinky sorry you are still feeling fluey, thought the weather was nice in the UK?

SM so wise for one so young

Just a quick post as have a cake in the oven (not a bun!!!!!!!!!!!!) as off to a baby shower this morning and said I'd take a cake. Yes, I know I keep saying no more baking but its the one thing I'm quite good at.
I felt strongly this morning that H hasn't got CP. I phoned the med centre and explained I think it was mini measles/reaction to MMR and asked to see a dr and have an appt at 9am (your 7am). The spots have faded today, no itch and no blisters. We shall see.
A bit annoying as of course I warned everyone when I thought it was CP and around 75% of the people in my 4 signing classes have cancelled for today and tomorrows classes. I'm fine with the one this afternoon being cancelled but want the morning ones tomorrow to go ahead as I have a nanny in anyway so don't need to worry about childcare.
Hopefully H will be aquitted at 9am and I can phone around everyone. I don't make much from my signing but all the money I make is put away for the future.

SM totally agree with dinkys comments ref that loon on FB. People like her really p* me off

Right, off to get out cake and nip to drs.

mos Hope H is getting on alright at docs.
Hope you can get everyone back to classes too.

Started knitting my scarf last night. I unravelled it and started it again 3 times

HARRISON HAS BEEN AQUITTED
He has not got CP. Right off to ice cake and go to the baby shower in the knowledge that I'm not 'unclean'

x

Hurrah for the MoS two (MoS and H) being freeed from house arrest!! Hope you manage to uncancel most of your classes MoS.

SM - I hear the designer holey look is in

arse arse arse.
Just had a phone call from the British Embassy who want to interview me for the job I appliede for weeks ago. Had assumed not interested but they want to see me tomorrow or Wed am. I said wed but between now and them need to sort someone to look after H, a taxi to get me to the embassy (about an hours drive from here) and more importantly, something smart to wear! Most of my wardrobe is either shorts/t-shirts or ball dresses, nothing in between!

agghhh

How exciting MoS. Good luck! Great idea from Tulips for using the cancelled class time.

ok, have taken several deep breaths now.
Trouble is here, we are 45 mins to nearest shopping mall and of course, as a mere female, I can't drive.

Have already uncancelled classes for tomorrow so that is a no go. Have got a relatively nice black/floral dress I can wear and if I can borrow a black jacket from somewhere I'll look semi presentable. Will book a taxi as have not yet been able to beg, borrow or steal a driver.

Guy phoned me back again about half an hour after first call and clearly forgot he'd already phoned me. I joked and said if unsuccessful for PA to defence attache job I'd be his PA as he clearly needed one and we had a laugh about it.

Thing is, its bad timing. No doubt job will be to start pretty soon and I've already booked to go back to UK end of June and another holiday in Oct but the interview would be good experience.

Have confirmed I'll attend interview 11am wednesday and will sort something out between now and then for H. Like you say (as does DH regularly) I'm ALWAYS doing everything for everyone else. When my friends nanny got thrown off compound last week (turned out she was an illegal) I rushed around sorting out childcare for her so sod it, I'm calling in favours.

Thanks for vote of confidence

MoS - just go along you never know - may all work out beautifully. Black dress and jacket sounds good or failing that an existing smart skirt and blouse combo (if you want to avoid wearing a jacket)which you could smarten up with nice jewellery. You'll be fine.

dinky, I feel like cinderella, no carriage, nothing to wear and too many chores to do.
My clothes consist of shorts and t-shirts and ballgowns, nothing in between. Might just wear my nicest abyaya and keep that on.

Wasn't expecting any kids to turn up this afternoon for the HH class but two have and I still have G & H here so will just get on with a class and see how it goes. They are currently playing with DD's huge ELC kitchen. Wonder if it is reasonable to charge SR25 for them to play with that for 45 mins whilst I have a nap

MoS - here's hoping your fairy godmother is listening and whisks you up a nice outfit, chauffeur driven car there and back and some jimmy choos for the interview

morning all, night from hell as G & H really playing up. H keeps crying 'dadeee, dadeee'

Managed to borrow some smart grey trousers from a friend and have a nice smart blouse to wear. No jacket but can probably get away with it due to the heat or keep my abaya on

A neighbour a few doors down does babysitting in the mornings. Doesn't normally do wednesdays but said she will and she has a driver who rarely works for her so she lets him do private work and thank god he is free on wed so that is all sorted Just need some mice to turn into footmen now

I don't expect to get the job but its certainly good practice when you've been out of the job market for as long as I have.

Right, off to deposit madam at nursery then dash back for my classes at 8.30 and 9.30

hope everyone else is ok x

mos The interview sounds great.
Glad you found something to wear, I'd have the same problem if i managed to get a job interview!
Have faith in yourself madam, I am sure you are qualified to do the job, you are capable and have the skills to do it well or else you wouldn't have bothered applying. There is no reason you wouldn't get the job so I would like a bit of positive thinking please
Although, like you say, if you don't get it, it's all good practise/experience anyway.

The knife mum wasn't at group yesterday. I mentioned it to one of the out-reach workers and told them the comments on there, she agreed that maybe they need to run some kind of household safety session.
She also said that the staff had all noticed my distancing from her and her lack of interest in attempting to control her boys and they promised me it wll be dealt with and she will get help and support.

Off to look after my friends dc's today. She bought a 2 storey wendy house off ebay and is going to collect it today. The kids will love it, it is huge.