Fab Feb 2009 bar: toddle on in, grab a pew: mummy's in need of a drink or two...

[dinkystinky]

New thread for us to natter on about our toddling terrors... complete with some virtual booze. Mine's a french martini....

Evening all. Have had a hectic weekend away at friends' places - was great fun but am shattered and still feeling v full now, and really not ready for a week of work. Ho hum.

KBN - fingers crossed I is all better now. Breadsticks are Danny's most favourite foodstuff in the world now - think they're good for his itchy teething gums.

MOS - god that's one hell of a difficult decision to make. SM speaks really good sense - a pro and con list will hopefully help clarify matters in your head and work out what you want to do for you and the kids. I think the big picture is a good one to take. And FWIW, we eat breakfast and lunch with the kids at weekends only - and have adult dinners after they're in bed, precisely because its good for our sanity to be able to eat in relative peace and quiet without having to nag DS1 to eat or duck Danny's food splatters.

morning all
dinky glad you had a nice weekend away and hope you are not too tired to do lots of billing this week (that is one thing I don't miss about work, the constant pressure to bill, bill, bill)

Have got a babysitter for tonight and DH and I are going to a local mall for a bit of shopping and a meal. The constant bickering (kids and us) is dragging us down.
If we were to eat after kids has gone to bed we'd be eating at around 10pm!
H still won't sleep through the night and its wearing us down. Last night he woke 4 times

SM you've got me thinking about the way DH was brought up. He was the youngest of 3 with a huge gap (a bit like me) and his dad was rarely around. He worked nights when DH was young so didn't see much of him and they never went on family holidays. From what i've seen of his mum and dad they are not particularly affectionate. My upbringing was totally different. Mum and dad always around and we did things together. Maybe he needs to learn how to be a good dad?

mos Yes, maybe. That's what I think about my dp.
I try to gently drop hints about how it is our job to model the children and we do that by setting examples from our behaviour.
If we continue to shout at our children,not only do we show them that it is normal behaviour, but we encourage shouting in them. I don't know why he doesn't seem to understand that, seems pretty simple once you start thinking about it really.
Plus, I deo think toddlers are hard, they are selfish by nature and maybe things get easier where the men are concerned as the children get older and are more capable of showing reward????????????

Morning! Just a rather short, selfish post and question for SM.... I've been to the GP this morning and been prescribed Fluoxetine (20mg once a day) - think this is what you were prescribed??? Just been looking at the possible side effects - did you suffer any?

Will catch up on action at lunchtime - in the meantime have a lovely morning y'all!

STW Yes, that is what I'm on.
The only noticeable side effect I've had long term in the loss of sex-drive, but short term, the only thing that I remember is being so so so tired all the time. I think I felt really really drained for a bit until they kicked in and then was absolutely fine.
Tbh, I wasn't really worried about side effects as at the time I strongly believed the positives of taking them far out-weighed the negatives of not taking them. That was how I made the decision to take them.

If you ever do want to talk, you can always message me here, on fb, call me or arrange to meet. xxxx
Hope you're ok

STW - hope you're ok and glad the doctor has prescribed something for you. Remember - these are something to help you get back to where you want to be, emotionally and mentally - and when you're there you wont need them any more. Hope you dont have any side effects but if you do, get back to the GP quick smart.

Hmm, haven't had much of a sex drive for a few years now ! Thanks for yr message - yes, I think the benefits should outweigh any side effects, but I was just worried about driving, because it says on the label that your driving reactions may be impaired ... DH is away for a couple of days too, so I might not start taking them until he's back, just in case. I'm such a worrier!!! Hope your next few weeks with DP on nights aren't too tough....

MOS - big decision time for you. Think SM's words are very meaningful and agree that a pro/con list is a good way forward. Thanks for the message re. DD. She really does respond well to music and nursery rhymes and in fact that's often the best way to communicate and play with her. She can sing the "Postman Pat" theme tune word perfect and is really good at nursery rhymes. She loves it if I change the names to her or Sam, and we've made up lots of alternative lyrics to the In the Night Garden songs. Hope you enjoy your shop and meal with DH.

I took DD into Kingston on Saturday - we fed the ducks along the river then were going to pop into a couple of toy shops (window shopping only!!!) then have some tea together... but then someone nicked my purse when I was in TKMaxx . So I had to walk all the way home (luckily I had the puchchair) and cancel all my cards etc. Of course I'd just been to the cashpoint, so am £30 lighter. Grrrr. Got a call on Sunday morning from JojoMamanBebe who had found my purse!!! Empty of course.

Then DH took DD to his sister's place yesterday and I had the day with Sam - it was lovely!!!

Was up about 6 times with Sam during the night - I'm sure it's his teeth - so am a zombie today. Just going to put the kettle on for a brew....

Will catch up later!

STW at your purse being stolen! How horrid.

We went to playgroup this morning, I let Luke walk again, and STW to answer your question the other day, yes Luke is on reins and Jacob is very very good and doesn't run off and always stops when I tell him to.
Anyway, I put the reins on Luke this morning and jacob wanted to hold the lead part, so I gave it to him and they did the walk with Jacob guiding Luke along saying things like "This way Lukey. Lukey good boy!" Was very cute.

I've had to fill in a time log of all my activities today as part of that early tears course I'm doing. I have not had any 1 on 1 interaction with the children today But we did manage a 2 hour nap!

Oh no STW - so sorry to hear your purse was stolen. Grr at the evil bods who did that and ruined your lovely girls day out. Hope purse stealing karma comes back to bite them on the bum!

SM - J and L sound v cute. Lol at your "early tears" typo - definitely feels like that sometimes!!

Lol dinky Just noticed that

STW I have been on Fluoxtine too. I must admit I felt a bit rotten on it not saying you will different drugs work on different people. I am just saying don't worry if you do get side affects that you don't like just go back to GP.

I found Citalypram was best AD for me felt more human and calm. Off them now though. Oh I still don't have a sex drive!

Depression is just so awful, but you find ways of coping and I certainly found AD's lifted me out of a bit of a black hole

MOS I think the pro and cons list sounds good, but in these cases I really do feel like following your heart rather than your head will be best. I know it really isn't my business and don't know your OH but sounds to me like he has had far too many chances. I know what SM is saying about learning to be a good dad but I just think a grown man should be able to treat his wife and children well regardless of his upbringing. I just think there is no excuse for the way he has treated you. I still think about how awful he was when you had just lost your mum It is an awful decision to make you just want whats best for you all, thinking of you

KBM hope your both feeling a bit better today
xxx

SM hadn't noticed typo either til dinky pointed it out [giggles] hope your both ok

SM LOL at your early tears course. Is that them or you

STW how awful about your purse, there really are some nasty people around. DD2's lovely little pink bike got pinched from our compound around 3 weeks ago. How spiteful is that.

I've had a thought about your DD. You say she likes music and nursery rhymes, why don't you think about toddler signing? I know you work so it might be difficult for you to attend classes together but there are quite a few dvds around which are good. The one I'd recommend is Singing Hands. They are two ladies who set up their company and a lot of the children they teach have special needs. I'm not saying your DD has SN however it has been proven to work develop communication skills so might be worth a go. They do cds with a book or the dvd which I have which I think is pretty good. Might be worth a try.

Also, I bought DD a cd which is personalised so that all the songs have her name in. Might be worth looking for one of those for her as you said she loves her name in them. I will look out DDs one and check the name of the company that made it. I bought it in Bluewater when the company had a temporary stand there but I'm sure you could order on the internet.

Right, off to make more sodding cakes. Had two signing classes yesterday at 3pm and 4pm and two this morning at 8.30am and 9.30am and bloody knackered. Had (stupidly) volunteered to make cakes for a charity event tomorrow. DDs nursery are doing a sponsored 'waddle toddle' where they dress up in fancy dress and walk around the sports field which is followed by a cake stall and raffle. Am making loads of chocolate muffins and maybe a large cake and might try my hand at a tinkerbell cake for all the kids to eat afterwards. DD is going as Tinkerbell and H will waddle along behind them dressed as Peter Pan (if he co-operates!)

Hope you are all doing ok.x

Wow MoS - you sound like Nigella or something with all that cake making. Am in awe. Good luck with the waddle-toddle

LittleSez - hope all good with you and Izzy. Things better with your DP nowadays?

Wish I had her money. And her cleavage

Well dp took the cats to the vets today to get done and the vet said they have fleas!!
So now I have spent the morning flea treating the flat and doing LOTS of washing.
I don't really understand how they've got fleas though as I've been using the spot-on stuff and they are indoor cats, but hey. I have some spray for them when they get back later too.
I haven't seen anything and they aren't scratching like they have fleas, so hopefully it's not a huge case.

Both boys are asleep now. We are going swimming in about an hour.
Before that I have an outreach worker from the children's centre coming round to do a personal development plan for me. We are going to look at the kind of jobs I want to get into when I return to work and look at any training I need to do and whether there could be any help with funding from certain charities.
I want to be some kind of family liason worker. Whether it be with schools, social services or something else, but I feel I have the skills and life knowledge to be able to help others who may struggle.
She'll be here in a bit.

I just accidentally hit escape and deleted a VERY LONG POST . Can't retype just now but was saying a big thankyou. Gotta dash will try later. GGRRRRRRRRRRR.

SM I did use spot on and twas shite. I used frontline once (expensive but worth it) and the cat hasn't had fleas since It was from vets def recommend it. Horrible fleas, goes through you doesnt it!

Urrghh nits! similar thing (of course children not pets) I am currently conditioning and nit combing DAILY because my niece keeps catching them and then my mum catches them and i really dont want Izzy to get them! so far managed to avoid it. Hubby shaved his head! bit extreme

DINKY we are good thank you for asking Izzy is a delight and now is sleeping at night with only 1-2 wakes napping every day for about an hour and a half I use the time wisely by work on my online shop and other important business go on CNT and mumsnet

Me and hubby have some personal issues mainly around me not wanting sex! gosh TMI sorry! he is being very patient but we are both very grumpy without it Its unfortunately linked to birth stuff STILL!!! got another app tomorrow with MIND and going to inquire about specific birth trauma stuff. I was crying today about it

sorry that was a long answer! Im very well apart from that, how areyou? Has the sleep got any better generally as know you had lots of sleepless nights xxx

poo poo crossing out didn't work

Littlesez - re the sex thing, I had a big fear of it after DS1 was born and did take along time for sex drive to return to normal (lack of sleep didnt help!) but did get back to normal eventually. Dh was v understanding but it did cause some friction - but we found that showing affection in other ways (cuddles, kissing, massage etc.) helped us stay connected while we were working through the issues. It will get better - you just need to separate sex from the birth stuff and you'll be sorted! Sorry you're still suffering from birth stuff - honestly, look at all of us second (and more) timers - you will get over this and be so much stronger as a result.

Morning ladies.
Hope everyone's ok.
All's good here. The cats are back, a bit shaken up but they'll be ok.
They don't have fleas.
Dp asked the nurse when he collected them and she said they don't have fleas, she'd been with them all day and would have seen signs.
She then tested them for fleas and said they definitely don't have them and then asked dp why he thought they did and he told her because the vet told him the did and she went
So, I spent £16 on flea sprays, spent most of the day fogging out my entire flat, for nothing.
I knew they didn't have fleas. Why do I never fully trust myself and listen to myself? I'm usually right. Tut.

like the nurse over that vet SM! Glad the cats dont have fleas though.

I have flu. Am feeling sorry for myself. Other than that all is good though.

Oh dinky Sorry you are poorly. Get well soon. xxx

A has the vomiting bug now. Poor sod can't keep down anything but water but keeps getting hysterical wanting milk. Net result being that i'm changing my clothes ever hour or so. Last night after about the 15th time he'd spewed all over me dp just looked at me and said 'If that wasn't so tragic it'd be funny' A got him back for that one though.... he woke up in my arms whinging and dp came over and A just looked up at dp and said, in the softest, sweetest little voice imaginable: 'Dad'. dp was so chuffed he picked him up for a cuddle at which point A spent 5 minutes chucking up all over him while i tried not to laugh

On the plus side i finished my course work (just have to post off my ECA now) which is a reief as if this had happened while i was trying to study i'd have been seriously behind.

Dp has man flu and is in bed now (because of course i get so many school mornings off when i'm sick and getting three kids out the door when one of them can't stop puking is so easy when i've got a stinking cold too)

SM... stoopid vet, he probably gets paid off by the flea treatment people! good thing they don't have fleas though... awfully hard to get rid off

A has just fallen asleep on top of me and i have to go to the playschool and sort the wages now... he's going to puke if i move him i bet you........

God Tulips that sounds ubergrim. Poor A. Lol at his vomming on his proud dad though. Good luck with getting out the house....

Morning.
I need opinions and here if you get a chance.
It's just about that little boy I've told you about before. Gonna loose my rag with the mum soon.

Hope you all ok, tulips hope A's a bit better and dinky how are you feeling today?