DEC 08 - Barely into toddlerhood and already at our tit's end

[MomOrMum]

Tit's end...had to be done.

Hope this works!

Sorry Kiwi cross posted. That is an exellent description by the way. From what you have said o think you are fine to sit tight for the moment. The reason Trace took P in was because her temps were not responding to calpol/brufen. Basically you are doing all the right things BF when she wants it, observe her behaviour and give calpol or brufen when her temp goes up. The BF is all she needs and will stop her dehydrating which is always the first concern in sick kids. The second is the focus of the infection as it's a quite high temp it is most likely a virus so nothing antibiotics can do. You need to take her to a hospital if she is really lethargic and even unresponsive or her behaviour changes dramatically or if her temperature doesn't respond to the drugs. She will become a little grizzlier as her temp goes up but as long as she settles when it comes down. I think I'm just confirming what you are already doing so well done. Just sit back and chill with her now and see how she goes. Do make sure the calpol and ibuprofen are spaced evenly 6 hours for ibuprofen and 4 hours for calpol. They can be given with each other of needed. Oh and make sure the ibuprofen is given soon after a feed. Good luck.

Thanks Veggie. Poor Trace and poor P, must be horrible when they don't even respond to the drugs. DD definitely is better post-Calpol, her temps down again (I sent DH out to buy a flash ear thermometer because she thinks sticking one in her mouth is a violation of her Baby Rights and threatens to report me to the UN). I just hope it STAYS down this time!

It's been a right sickfest round here. I've been in bed with sinus infection for three days which thank GOD DH had off anyway.

Hope everyone else is well

Effie Noticed your BF question - DD still BF loads but I don't feel particularly self-conscious with her feeding - though she's very little so could definitely pass for a 10 month old or even less so maybe that helps! Things like this illness make me HUGELY thankful that I am still BFing though, it's an enormous help. But as for dropping feeds.. I have never had ANY luck persuading DD to drop feeds, day or night. She does what she does! Stubborn little thing. She still feeds usually once at night, plenty of times in teh day when she's with me but seems happy with expressed milk at nursery when she's not.

Sorry meant to say thanks everyone, not just Veggie!

hello!
Thanks for the well wishes We've just got home and P is having a nap.
Kiwi - hope your dd is ok. Veggie has given you sound advice! I took P to the GP last night after nursery because she had slept all day at nursery and stayed hot. Her temp at home was 39.5, then when we got to the GP, after calpol and nurofen, it had gone to 40, so the GP sent us in to hospital. They didn't like the fact that it was not responding to meds (as Veggie said!) and that they couldn't find a focus. Anyway her urine, ears and throat are clear, bloods show raised white cells and CRP (infection markers) and chest has some crackles but nothing major, so they think it's probably just a viral something. She was just so floppy - didn't even really object to blood tests and just went back to sleep after every time she was disturbed. Then she suddenly went really cold in the night and was only 34 degrees, so the nurses had to warm her with blankets, then by this morning she was back up to 39 again. But calpol helped this morning and she perked up enough to have a yoghurt and to allow us home! We can go back if it stays high again. got home and put her in her cot and she's still snoozing...
Still not heard from my CPN.
Kayz sorry about your dh's job. That's really rotten. Hope he soon finds something else.
Veggie I'm so pleased that ds1 has decided he likes girls school. It must be a relief for you. I'm with you on dhs messing up routines! I seem to get more done on my own too!
aub does dh come home today? Well done you for surviving some difficult days.
I think I might try and have a little rest now. I didn't go to sleep last night so I'm getting to that surreal phase where things seem extra loud and clear (or is that just me that gets that?!)
Hopefully pop back later.

Hello Trace . So glad you and P are home again. Sounds scary. You obv have a v sensible daughter who wants to sleep off whatever it is!

Veggie: DH and I are the opposite on routines, when I'm at home he grumbles at the time it takes me to get them up, breakfasted, dressed and out of the door. He is much more organised apparantly. This is partly because I organise and pack everything for him the night before!

Right, am determined to sort out expanding waistline, so rather than pass on the apple crumble and custard at lunch (I know, I have an easy life) I am going OUT of the office for a WALK.

Hello, gosh I've got so much to catch up on and it wasn't that long since my last post!! I have skimmed through and so glad that trace you are back home again and P is feeling better.
WG I have the exact same thing, actually you may have remembered me posting about it about 2 months or so back? it's not every day and not always as bad everytime and mainly after the afternoon nap. I remember the first time it started happening was when around early December. dh was home with him one time it happened when I nipped to tesco and ds was asleep then woke while I was out. dh called me and didn't know what to do! he said he woke up and nothing will stop him crying and he doesn't know what is wrong! I remember saying oh yes he's been doing that off and on for about 2 weeks now. It has started up again recently and I can only put it doen to teething. It happened today (thismorning) for example, he went down for a nap at around 10am, woke up crying at 11. Went and got him, crying continued and got worse when I put him down (on the floor). He wouldn't stand up just collapes in a heap with his muslin, and screams and cries and buries his head into the rug. he will sometimes and only sometimes be consolable if I distract him with something like his walker and then if he it crashes it into the wall he screams and off he goes again. It's almost like he's still needing more sleep, but he has done it after 2 hour naps even. Some of the time he will stop crying if I carry him around but can't do that for long, so usually I just try everything and sometimes let him just cry it out. I really think it's his teeth, as it does stop sometimes for a week or so and then is back again. This time he is completely off eating very much - at all - not even his favourites. I gave him lunch and he ate about 3 or 4 spoonfuls then tried his favourite (yogurt) which he ate 3 quarters of but would normally eat the whole tub and want another and eat that too. I really think your situation is so much harder as you are trying to deal with work as well. trust me, I struggle when he's like this and i'm not working! You are doing a great job, you aren't doing anything wrong and it will get better

TV - I'm the worst..... I admit I think I have it on too much, however he doesn't sit there and solidly watch it. I have it on to calm him at times and he only pays attention when it is something that interests him. it is usually the baby channel on Sky or baby first and a lot of times it is the educational shows anyway. He always looks fascinated with the counting and numbers ones and I really think it's doing more good than harm - seriously, don't worry, I don't think you can do too much damage at this age. As soon as ds loses interest in the show I turn it over to adult (ok reality) TV and I am very guilty of flicking it back when he kicks off again if I need to get something done. Luckily there are only certain shows he really wants to watch but when he likes it, he is mesmorized, and it's a saviour!!
I watch more tv than anyone you would probably know though, so I hold my hand up and say I'm a bad influence in that department and probably not the one to ask!
Boy i've rambled!!

WG I've just put ds down for an afternoon nap so I will give you the update later! he went doen at 210pm and has chatted to himself until 225pm and has just gone all quiet now....
When he wakes I have to go and get his jabs so hoping like mad that he wakes up happy!! I will report back
I know I have probably not said anything that is advice, but just know that, I'm right there with you, and I don't think there is anything you are doing wrong! I have tried everything when he's like that too... oh and another reason I think it's teeth is because it is never as bad when he has medicine in his milk before his nap.... try that, chin up

Trace - any news of P? how is she doing?

All well here - cycled into work this morning, which took bloody hours as I haven't done it for ages and being up the duff, I am even less fit than I would have been anyway. Plus I went to preggy yoga last night, which was really nice. Much better than last time. Hurrah!

LadyT - I have big rows with DH often and they leave me feeling to so drained and miserable as he's not afraid to fight dirty and say some really lowdown things, and pretty nonsensical, so I find it hard to have a come back and I'm just left feeling really shitty. I won't fight dirty, so end up biting my tongue on what I really want to say and end up giving in. Or he goes silent and won't speak to me for days on end and I just really struggle to care after a day or so! I never used to argue with boyfriends, or when I did, they were over with quickly. But these are extraordinarly draining and horrible. BUT they are part of what makes us tick. And I do love him - even if I sometimes hate him.

Re going back to work. Hmmm. I really didn't want to and only did it because I get a bonus after I've been back for six months and we get good maternity leave here. I have very mixed feelings about it. I love the social aspects of it and being able to go out for lunch and not worry about doing DD's meals or routine. BUT I miss her terribly. Plus I hardly earn anything after paying for nannyshare. Literally £150 per month, which goes on meals and travel. Feel a bit like we've bought a dog, but paying someone else to bark, if you know what I mean? Does that make any sense. Plus, I'm bloody good at being a Mum and I'm rubbish at being a secretary, because I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT IT! Hee hee!

Re TV - I tend to have it on in the background a fair bit too, WG, but don't really pay it much attention. I also find that if I get sucked into watching something on This Morning, Whizz will lean into my line of sight with a big grin on her face, because she knows it will make me laugh and then I play with her! She always watches In the Night Garden and I have Perfect Recall and Come Dine with Me in the background during supper to reserve my sanity. But I do play with her more than I watch it, it just keeps me company a bit. I guess I should probably put music on instead, but I damn well like the telly! You are not a terrible mother, you're wonderful - don't even begin to doubt yourself!!!

DH has discovered that if she laughs with her hand in front of her mouth it makes me laugh more and I spend ages giggling at her - and so she giggles too. Loving motherhood at the moment!

Despite her massive tantrums she's had the last couple of days!!! She's woken up from her sleeps early in a total rage, where nothing will calm her down. So I've put her back in her cot and left her and she's gone back to sleep after about 15 mins or so. TBH, when she's like that and angry and wants to lash out and nothing will do, I think the best thing to do is put them somewhere safe and leave them until they're exhausted or bored. So the cot is usually the winner. I think if I pay her too much attention when she's like that, she'll then realise it's a way of getting attention and use it more and more.

Wow, long old post. It's built up a hunger. Feel Dairy Milk coming on. Do you all remember how much we all craved Bacon Wheat Crunchies back when this group all started???

Oh and I must add that he may not have his melt down after this nap as he already did after his morning one and if he's going to have one of his meltdown days, it usually is after one nap and not the other!

PS Meant DD where I put DH about laughing with hand in front of her mouth! x

PS Tantrums of DD sound similar to others. Maybe it's an age thing. And teeth probably don't help much either.

Need coffee...

Oh and WG although I can't offer a solution, since I don't know the answer myself, I can categorically guarantee you are doing one thing to perfection.... the glass of wine or two I'm just that I can't pour myself much of the medicinal cheerfullness at the moment!
Rest assured though, when #2 has popped out, I shall be partaking regularly for my own health and sanity!

PS - hello preggo buddy Beans!! [waves]

PS - WG perhaps if this continues, we should get together for early afternoon cheerfulness and let them scream it out together

Rubes - when are you due?

due 7/8 but section will be a week earlier. (Look away now natural and/or home birthers!)I'm hoping for 30/7 as 7 days earlier falls on a Sat which the consultants won't do. (Haven't got it half planned have I )
Crap, I've got to go to this appointment and the boy is still asleep! Typical! Perhaps he was still tired thismorning when that meltdown happened.... back to the cot next time a la Beans style I think!

Gosh, so will be pretty much the same time as me - I'm due 25th June. My own birthday is 28th - how exciting!

Hello from my desk at work on the late shift (naughty JJ).

Trace thank goodness P is on the mend, how scary that must have been for you.

TV - I don't put it on much at all when dd's awake just because she goes up to kiss the screen and tries to push it over, and we've got a heavy ancient set which would probably squash her flat! Maybe once a week I put cbeebies on if she's being a real clinger while I'm trying to do tea. I've never been much of a TV person (except Lost!) and so am not really very familiar with it all. Plus the presenters are sooo awful - big cook little cook?! Though the theme to Chuggington really makes me laugh, when I was a teenager chugging c*ck was slang for, well it's kind of obvious!

Work. Sigh. I'm really torn tbh. I love my job and the people I work with, and given the amount of training I've had it would a shame to waste it all. Plus I work in a pretty obscure field, there are maybe 100 other people doing my job in the country, so if I step fully off the ladder for a few years it will be very hard to get back on.

BUT working part time really isn't enormously satisfactory. I feel as if it's not 'my' job any more as the other girl is doing 3 days a week, sharing a desk is a bit rubbish and I feel that a lot of things happen on the days I'm not in which I'm missing out on (and that aren't being done properly because the girl covering doesn't have much experience). At the end of the year I have to decide if I want to go back to full time, or make a flexible working application - which would mean part time rather than squashing 5 days into 4 or similar - while I was on mat leave the decision was made that part time now has to be 2 or 3 days only. If I went back to full time I'd basically hardly see dd during the week - at the moment on work days I pick her up from nursery and it's a rush to get home and do tea bath bed. Do 2 year olds go to bed any later?! I didn't have a baby only to see her for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening - though I guess it's what most working people have to face

oh and kiwi hope the medicine works for dd. We had a random fever the other day of 40, she was acting fine, just felt 'a bit hot' so I took her temp and yikes... Ibuprofen worked much better than calpol for us.

and Effie - dd is bfing morning and night, then before naps on days when I'm with her. Only for about 5 minutes til she falls asleep

How much cow milk should she be having to 'top up' the bm? I have no idea how much she gets at each feed, so not sure what else to offer her!

Evening ladies. I swear DS2 has his period he was a complete grump tonight cheeky monkey. He has the most annoying high pitched scream. Finally both asleep now and dinner nearly done.

Only other eventful thing this afternoon is I went to deposit an international bankers draft this afternoon and the bank is charging me ?18 for the pleasure of handing the teller the cheque and then waiting 5 days to have the money added to my account. I ranted a bit about high interest holding accounts and how could it possibly cost that much etc, but I think I came accross as mental SAHM. I wouldn't have minded so much but the cheque was from my mum for mine & jordi's birthday pressie and the boys chrissie pressies (it's taken that long for me to deposit it) and she had to pay $25 to have the cheque made out.

Evening all. Trace I really hope P is continuing to improve, that really sounds nasty. poor mite!

WG and Rubs - DD always always wakes from naps in a grump. Always has, always will as far as I know.. She won't ever be put down for a good 20 moinutes post-nap or she'll just throw herself around and howl. In her case though I suspect it's residual tiredness becuse she never naps very long, so I'm not sure why it would start after a long nap/ they'd not done it before..

Re work - I have to admit that, my illness and DD's illness aside, I love being back. Probably a bit early to say this and I'll be grumpy about it in a week or two but I really feel that I am "myself" again. I think I am a far better mum to DD for being away from her sometimes as well. When it's just her and me, day in day out, I don't really in all honestly make that much effort, and compared to what she does at nursery (painting, playing with jelly, making coloured rice cakes..) she must be bored witless with me! I probably have the TV on far too much too, though usually on news or something for me rather than stuff for her, so she largely ignores it (though she does LOVE a bit of rock music channel, Scuzz or Kerrang for preference )

Veggie That's a rip off isn't it?? Next time, why don't you ask for anyone to send money for pressies or whatever to do it via Paypal? That way you'll only get charged a very small amount I think.

Right, update is, ds was still napping when it was time to leave (so had been in co from 210p-330p) so I went up stairs and banged around getting sorted so he would wak - which he did and since I put him straight in the car he didn't really have time to think about throwing a strop (he quite likes the car for a little bit at least)
Had his jabs and he def threw a strop there - actually he got really upset and clung to me looking over his shoulder after at the mean nurse who jabbed him while she chatted to me about people and needle phobia's etc. I was very brave though and also with me swine flu jab, no passing out was to be seen and I think I can safely say i'm really getting a grip on this fear of needles - all since being pregnant I think, and having so many jabs and no drama so therefore lots of positive reinforcement iyswim?
Re work - hmmm I dreaded that week I went back and it wasn't any better by the end of it. Missed ds badly and was glad when it was over. My shifts will start again soon but they are only short days part time so I'm happy about that

had been in cot not co lol

sorry my spelling and missing letters in my words is awful - must be tired

Trace is it your appointment with the CPN tomorrow? I hope it goes well and you get what you want from the discussion. In your post to WG at the weeknd you sounded rather like your old self, I hope that is a sign that enjoyed the weekend and you were happy and rested at the end of it?

WG I don?t drive round the block, but do leave DD in the car until she wakes (I?ve never yet managed to get her out without waking her). Which means I have to keep the kitchen window open so I can hear when she wakes, which means I have to turn the heating up to beat off the cold draft coming in the window. So another big old carbon footprint here too. My aunt tells a great tale of when my cousin was a baby, and was apparently a terrible sleeper, but would drop off if she drove at 10 mph. So my aunt was duly driving around at 10 mph and got pulled over by a policeman, but she refused to stop and he had to jog alongside her while telling her off!

Yay for Dylan walking, a very clever little man. So sorry your DH?s work plans didn?t work out Kayz, I hope something else comes about very soon

Did you have fun kitchen shopping LadyT? It sounds like it will be lovely. On work, I?m enjoying being back far more than I thought I would, and I?m a little to say that I don?t really even think of DD that much during the day as its great to immerse my brain in something. I?d like to do one day less a week ideally, for more fun with DD, and also have less of a commute as I could spend that 2 hours a day with her ? but I?m not going to change where I live (see below of one of the reasons why I?m not going anywhere!) and don?t want to change my job, at least not now, so that?s the price I pay. The only real downside is that I still have to squeeze quality time with DD, plus doing the laundry, cooking tea, cleaning, etc into even less time now. Although another upside (what a rambling old paragraph this is!) is that I feel the quality time with DD on the days I?m working is much better, as for that hour between me getting home and her bedtime I focus solely on her, and we play or read books or she sits on my knee to watch In The Night Garden (or In The Nice Garden, as my friend?s DD calls it), whereas when I have a full day with her I?m always taking sneaky looks at the paper/emptying the dishwasher/doing other chores around the house because I want to get them done (and possibly because sometimes her lack of conversation bores me a little )

We?ve got the maxi cosi priorifix for when DD is big enough (she still needs to gain 3lb before she?s big enough ? which at this rate will take until September!) We bought it months ago, when Kiddicare had £50 off, but now I?m panicking it won?t fit in DH?s car, as he doesn?t have isofix points

MoM when is your DH back to give you a night off? And Aubi, did your DH come home today?

JJ is your keyboard wireless? When the batteries in ours are going, typing is a nightmare ? it took me ages to realise it even had batteries! I so wish we had an old fashioned one with a nice cable.

WG did Madam give you a lie in this morning? I so hope so. If she had a rash and screamy session the other day, could she be sickening for something? In which a BF will provide the comfort and nourishment she needs to feel so much better. I am completely guessing here, but if this is the case then sod any routine and go with the flow. On TV, I try not to have the TV on as I heard about the background noise not being good and it made me a paranoid mummy, but she normally watches at least 30 minutes in the evening and often a bit during the day too. Saying that, I?ve realised I?m a radio person and have that on for most of the day, so surely that background noise will cause the same problems as the telly? Oh, who knows what to do

Oh gosh, just got to Trace?s next post ? poor P. I hope her temp goes down quickly. Do you know the staff on the ward? I hope so, that must be reassuring. Sending P lots of love, and I hope she recovers quickly now you?re back home. And Kiwi, I can?t suggest anything practical, but lots of love and getting better wishes to your DD too

Veggie [soppy emoticon] at your DS1 being in love. With a name like Zoe, she must be a very beautiful and intelligent girl

After my cosy night in on Saturday, when DH was out, I took myself off to bed and then DD started crying and whinging, and it took me an hour and a half to settle her again as she was all snotty and bunged up. The DH and his friend crashed in and woke her again, and this time she refused to go to asleep unless she was propped upright against me so she could breathe. As DH was really quite drunk I wouldn?t bring her into bed, so I spent from 4am until 8am sat on the sofa with a snuffly DD. DH appeared at 8 and said ?oh good, you?ve got up with the LO, I?ll have a bit of a lie in? and went straight back to bed, and as DD was asleep I couldn?t shout for fear of waking her. When she finally did wake I stormed up to bed and kicked DH out to give her breakfast and used a choice selection of words, that included ?inconsiderate?, ?shit? and possibly some beginning with F. I was at my tits end with him .... Fortunately he quickly caught on and was very good all day after that. And today he has been elected chairman of the sprout growers association (probably outing myself by announcing this), so is the most important sprout grower in the UK and I am very proud of him for this, so all is (almost) forgiven.

I?ve got the appointment for DD?s jabs next week ? the letter says she?ll be having the 12 month booster and the MMR at the same time. I thought they were supposed to be a month apart, does anyone know if this is a problem and if I should insist on a second appointment for the MMR?

And gossip time ? a very big house nearby has finally sold (asking price started at almost £2m a couple of years ago, but I think dropped below £1m in the end, I should have scraped together my loose change for that bargain ...). Today?s rumour in the village is that Daniel Craig has bought it ? what are the chances of that being true?

Aaaeeeeerrrrrrgh coffee....need.