DEC 08 - Barely into toddlerhood and already at our tit's end

[MomOrMum]

Tit's end...had to be done.

Hope this works!

Wow Zoe!! How cool would that be?? Pop to the shops and bump into Daniel Craig. Well done to your DH.

if it is Daniel Craig, Zoe. You will have to keep us all updated on the gossip. Or you could make yourself a pretty penny if you wanted to sell saucy takes to the NotW!

On telly, we are a bit slack, but I tend to put it on first thing and last thing - he likes to watch ITNG and Waybuloo before his bath and I guess we may get caught in the trap later on but for now it's actually quite good as he associates these things with before bedtime and goes down really easily. If we're away, we bring DVDs of the two programmes and play them at roughly the same time .

We're on day 3 of the settling in at the new nursery, not gone well so far, day 1 was fine as I think he just thought we were at a different playgroup but then yesterday he clocked it and I could only leave him for 10 mins. Fingers crossed things a bit better today as I am gagging for some time during the day to write the book. At the moment I'm squeezing it in to early morning and evening but it's very knackering that way.

Any news from your DH yesterday Kayz? And how is little P today, Trace? Did you manage any sleep last night?

Veggie, are you hungover perchance?

tales, not takes

Bloody hell! Daniel Craig! That's a bonus! He's from the Wirral originally, where I'm from and once tried to snog my sister. But he was a minging pinkyeyed--ginger-haired bloke with massive ears when he was about 16 and she turned him down in favour of someone else. I think she's kicking herself now - get a load of him in his swimmers - yum!

I've got a thumping headache and think a coffee may help me too. Although not a hangover. Did anyone watch that series, "Miranda"? And find it as funny as I did? I dreamt up a whole new episode last night and remember finding it hilarious. But I can't remember any of it, damn it! Never mind.

Hi all, just marking my place, we're back and I read through last night (been busy on here), but still too jet lagged to post. Had a great time though.

Hey all. DD v poorly - woke up whimpering into her mattress at 1 with a temp of 41, which frightened the life out of me. Ended up calling ambulance and going to A&E. back home now but doc not particularly worried, prescribed antibiotics for poss infection (which two GPs said it wasn't) and now temp is down but she's just been really really sick for the first time in her life. Now asleep again. Would infection/high temp be what caused sickness does anyone know? Poor poor thing is so tired and unlike herself.

hello. rubes - sounds like we have a similar thing going on. it is sapping my will to live at the moment. also, she is going to sleep like a dream at night, but waking at 4.30 - 3/4night in a row now. sometimes i can get her to go to sleep again by holding, rocking, stroking, but sometimes i can't, like this morning. in the end i brought her into our bed, fed her, after 1/2 hour she slept until 7 (unheard of for us), pushing dh to the edge of the bed so he couldn't sleep. i hadn't been able to sleep earlier on in the night, so i'd taken some benylin (my drug of choice if i can't sleep), so i was groggy as hell.

she is now asleep - i am dreading her waking up. i simply won't know how to handle her if she screams again. maybe an early lunch will sort it.

january is not looking like a good month. may it soon be over.

forgot to say, i am even considering going back to feeding her at 4.30 to try and get her to sleep back in her own cot. if that works, i can then try and reduce the feeding time a la millpond. but that is such a climbdown for us - we worked so hard to eliminate nightfeedings - i cannot believe we may go back to them.

i am now doubting everything i thought i knew. have lost my instincts. feel like it is this time last year in a way, absolutely groping around in the dark and not able to find a way to enjoy her.

Kiwi - you poor thing - horrible to have to deal with in the night. Izz had a horrible sick bug back in November and a really high temperature to boot. I didn't give her any milk or food, but syringed water into her mouth in an attempt to limit what she took in. But she was so thirsty, poor little bear, so she ended up having quite a lot, which made her sick again. Any calpol etc that I gave her just came up again and her temperature was between 39.5-41. I just let her sleep in her cot for as long as she needed and when she woke up and wanted holding, we sat on the sofa and I watched telly while she dozed on and off. Had to sit with a towel over me as she kept throwing up her water. We just had 3 days of sitting like that and it was horrible, but she did get better eventually. I rang NHS direct and they said it was best to just give her fluids and let her sleep.

WG - don't get depressed. It's so hard to know what to do and when Izz kicks off, I have no idea what to do with her. She is, luckily, a good sleeper most nights, but when she wakes up screaming, I have no idea what to do. Sometimes end up giving her calpol to try to get her back off. I know that probably makes me a bad mother, but it does seem to help after a while. If you feel feeding her may work, then go for it. Babies do try our patience and love and I think the best we can do is grope around in the dark. There are no manuals, which can be so frustrating. Perhaps it would be worth calling Cow & Gate to talk it through? They have a line which is an 0845 number and you can speak to someone any time - www.cowandgate.co.uk. I rang them early on with Izzy and they do really put your mind at rest and will help if they can - or give you advice on what to do if they can't help. It's really unadvertised, but i found it really helpful. I hope that helps.

xxxx

WG, just to add my twopenceworths. We spent ages trying to eliminate night feeds and recently (maybe 4 times in the last month) have ended up giving him a bottle in the night if he's hungry and hasn't eaten enough in the day or is on a growth spurt. What surprised me was that it didn't turn into a habit, he just wanted to go back to sleep and only woke up for milk if he was hungry. So although it might not be the right thing in your circumstances, I just wanted to reassure you that feeding in the night isn't necessarily a backward step.

Beans, if giving Calpol in the night when all other avenues have been exhausted makes you a bad mother then you're at the end of a very long queue!

Kiwi, your poor DD and poor you! It's so tough when they're sick, especially when you don't know the exact cause so it's hard to know exactly how to treat. Sounds like sleeping and waiting it out could be the only solution, but it;s hard looking at them and seeing them in such discomfort .

Haven't caught up but just needed respond to Spot. I wish sweetie but unfortunately kept up most of the night by DS2, no apparent reason so a bit sleepy. He on the other hand is Tigger reincarnated and his jumping all over the place, I think he's going to be a high jumper, or a rapper.

I love Miranda, it's hilarious. I'd love to hear your pitch for an episode if you can remember?

madam woke from her nap this morning IN A BLISSFUL MOOD. who knows why... i was terrified she'd go mental, but no she was laughing and smiling and you name it. have now put her back down for a nap - fingers crossed.

i, too, love miranda - dh knows her vaguely and they are both guest speakers at a script writing conference next month, so shall be intrigued to meet her.

Blimey, can't believe you all like Miranda! I found it the most unfunny thing I'd seen in years! Oh well, different strokes...Just been to a soft play place in Hove, lordy but they're grim.

Oh hurray for other miranda fans! I did her make up once on a pilot, which was never picked up - sob. There went my career as a make up artist, as I ran out of money and had to come back to work as a secretary!!!

But can't say she'd have a clue who I was! It's a real love or hate programme - my sister hates it, but my other sister and mum love it!

WG - so glad your DD woke up happy - makes for a good afternoon!

Kiwi the vomiting could be due a secondary infection or just her bodies way of dealing with being ill. Does it correspond with her temperature starting to increase? Keep up what you are doing and Beans suggestion of the syringes water is also helpful. But best of all is BF as often and for as long as she wants. It is very quickly absorbed esp the hydrating part of it so even if she vomits she will have already absorbed some of the feed.

WG I still feed overnight if DS2 wants it, Sometimes it's none.

Gosh I just found this half finished message from earlier. Boys to bath so will send and check back later.

Oh meant to say WG sometimes he has no feeds overnight and some several, lastnight was a several feeds night. Those sorts of nights don't happen very occasionally thankfully and I do think it's usually his teeth. His gums today look really red again, poor pup.

DS2 did the cutest thing this afternoon. DH opened some insurance thing we have taken out and it had a contact card in it. DS2 was trying to get DH's attention and crawl into his lap so DH gave him the card and said 'babyveggie give this to mama' and he did. We tried it out a second time and he did it again. I tried it in reverse and he gave DH the first thing which was a piece of some random puzzle that was near me at the time and he took it to DH so then I tried it with a Thomas train, I think he knew then that I was taking the P a bit so he just gave it back and wandered off.

Oh and ZJ how exciting about your DH being the big man in the sprout industry!!

oh, and if we're having bad mother competitions, I must surely be up there for feeding T cake at 6.30 in front of ITNG to try and make him sleep longer. . I just can't get him to eat broccoli like everyone else seems to.

Hooray for baby Veggie training? Are you working up to slippers and newspaper?

The cake is homemade btw. Which makes it fine.

evening.
spot I'm all for late night cake Hope it does the trick for T!
wg so sorry about how you're feeling. Like beans says we're all groping in the dark - and you're doing such a good job - you're all Madam wants and needs. Really hope you feel your confidence come back soon.
kiwi how is dd? When P was hot she woke up and vomited in the morning which I think was just related to the temp. Hope your dd turns the corner soon.
P has perked up today. Still needing calpol and brufen to keep her temp down but they are working today and she's eating better and we've had plenty of smiles again this afternoon
I saw my CPN today and basically the consultant wants to 1. increase my meds, and 2. sign me off work for a month I told the CPN I'm happy with the meds increase but that I really don't want to stop work. So basically I'm allowed 2 weeks on the increased dose then have to see the consultant for her to do another assessment and she will decide then if I can stay at work.
Now, your advice please ladies...Given what my consultant is pushing for, should I discuss this at this stage with my manager, or do you think I'm ok to hang fire for now and only bring it up if it happens in 2 weeks time? since I started my new job I have enjoyed the fact that they don't know my 'history' and that their perception of me hasn't been clouded by a label. But would it be unfair not to give my manager advance warning? I'm going to do all I can to stay at work but I know from last time that ultimately I don't get the final say. Although last time I was on the wards so there were issues around safety which are no longer relevant with the kind of work I'm doing now. What do you think? What would you do in my place? Any advice gratefully received.

oh and zj your dh is very lucky to gained his sprout status to drag him out the dog house! And I hope the Daniel Craig thing is more than just a rumour...

Trace that's a tricky one. My first instinct was to tell your boss but I can see what you mean about 'your history'. I think most people go on first impressions and they know you already and know you are good at your job but there is still a stigma around mental illness. What I'm wondering though is are you obliged to tell them about something like this? I'm not entirely sure but just incase it doesn't come back on you later it may be better to tell. I have to say I feel that signing you off may cause more stress than if you stayed at work. Your boss does know your medical history though doesn't she through your occ. Health stuff.

veggie occ health said it's all confidential and that my boss doesn't know. When I had my occ health screen for this job I had to tick the box that asked about having an illness which would be recognised under the disibility discrimination act - the definition being an illness that is severe and lasting longer than 1 year - so I had to tick it but was assured that my manager would see the tick but would not be told any more detail. Anyway just had a long and rather emotional and draining talk with dh about it all and he thinks I should tell her sooner rather than later, out of courtesy. I guess he's right but it's not going to be easy.