DEC 08 - Barely into toddlerhood and already at our tit's end

[MomOrMum]

Tit's end...had to be done.

Hope this works!

hey all. Just popping on very briefly. LadyT so sorry about the crap post-row feeling. Hope the air gets cleared soon. I guess the tension of the unknown at the moment will be taking its toll on both of you.
I took the girls over to Manchester this morning for my friend's baby's dedication, which was lovely.
Lu is being a bit better - had a constructive chat with her last yesterday and planned in some 1-1 time for her with me and her with dh, so we went and had a milkshake together yesterday and she was lovely as loveliness
P is a hot pot today - just took her temp and it's 39.5 She's been under the weather since Monday but got really hot in the night. It does come down with meds though. She's just so clingy and tired. Hope she's ok for nursery tomorrow.
I'm just worrying myself sick about my pending appointment. I really am - my stomach churns whenever I think about it, which is about every 5 minutes, day and night. I wish I could just know what I'm in for. Grrrr. Need more patience.
daisy thinking of you. How are you holding up with everyone on your shoulders?
and welcome tortoise Yay another member!

Trace, as I said yesterday, I would be the same, wondering about what they want. I mean, it's your life and if I was waiting like that I'd be going nuts. I bet it will turn out relatively routine. It's often the way when one has been worrying about something.

More later.

trace Try not toworry about your appointment (easier said than done!) As already said by Ladyt it'll turn out to be routine

I have volunteered to sort out what benefits MIL & FIL are entitled too at the moment (carer's allowance etc etc). well I say volunteered DH actually said I'd do it as "she doesn't have much to do" I don't mind really but I have one form and its almost 50 pages long!! How the bloody hell am I going to get some peace and quiet to get my head around that. Well I suppose I don't have much to do.....

Does anyone have any ideas for a nice bathroom? I just can't think of anything to do in our bathroom.

Trace Do try not to worry if possible. Worrying will make you feel worse.

Daisy I hope you get a chance to fill in the forms soon.

Oh gosh mom I hope she is ok. Wow on the break in what a good friend you are, and a bit cheeky.

Tortoise you really made me giggle with the DH Reading headlines at you, men just refuse to be ignored don't they.

DH is currently on the phone to an old friend of his. We all use to live together in a group house he is Aussie. I like him but he has always driven me a bit crazy with his attitude to women. He sleeps around a lot doesn't use protection (I went mental when I heard about this) and he was one of those nightmare housemates who never did anything in the house. But he is a hard worker and has buit up an IT business in London. It is doing ok but he took on some crap partners in the business and so it's not doing as well as the work that he is putting in. Anyhoo, he has met this girl who lives in Singapore (I can't remember how they met) and he is quite into her and has been over to see her on extended holidays and she was planning to come to Europe to travel a bit and go back to London occasionally to see him and they were going to see where they were with each other after that time. Anyway she has just found out she is pregnant (he was there recently so it's his). He has been talking to DH a lot about it and we had assumed that he was not up for keeping the baby. Anyway it turns out he does want to but he doesn't know what to do because she hasn't made a decision and he doesn't want to make her feel that she should keep it, and bless him he is all over the place at the moment. He's stressing about his finances, his life (he is 36) and just everything. DH is trying to convince him to just fly over there and talk to her and look at the pros & cons and to be sure of how they both feel about each other. Gosh I'm so glad my life is not complicated.

ZJ I couldn't possibly expect you to send the G&B over, I have a friend coming over sometime soon I'll get her to bring some supplies.

can i ask quickly, as someone who has just had a screaming baby in the back of the car for the past 1.5 hours... we have just got madam her new car seat - any tips on how to make it nicer for them? she was a dream in the old backwards bucket one, and i thought she'd love the front facing one. how wrong could i be? she can fall asleep in it, but when not asleep was screaming and screaming. are there good toys to give her (which we don't have to reach round and pick up all the time?). will she just get used to it?

also, she has a rash all over her belly - no fever, no itching - nhs direct don't seem worried by it, so we're not. might have something to do with the screamathon in the car, maybe???

also, am i the only one to get their baby to nap in the pram in the hallway? i daren't put her down in her cot - haven't tried that for months now as the pram ahs always been so convenient. and am i the only one to give their baby a massive carbon footprint? the amount of times i've neared home in the car, only to find her asleep. in order to give her a bit more of a nap, i drive around for about another half an hour. i am such a wuss, aren't i? i just can't get her to go back for a nap once she's woken.

feeling a little unconfident at the moment. she's being really tricky and dh and i have both nearly screamed at her today. feeling a little low.

wg don't be hard on yourself. Screaming babies drive any of us to our tits end. Ok re car seat - P is actually much happier in her forward facing one than she ever was in the bucket one but it did take her a little getting used to. She's too far away from the back of the driver seat to have any of those entertaining things stuck to the driver seat, but she seem to enjoy being able to see out of the window. If I give her a toy she tends to chuck it out of reach. TBH her main in-car entertainment is her sister, so that's not much help really. Also perhaps she's just having an off day and it just happened to coincide with new car seat day?
The rash - if it was due to the screaming I would expect it to be upper chest, neck, around eyes - like you can get from harsh coughing or vomming. But if it's on her belly then perhaps it's just a viral thing - or maybe if she was warm, and therefore screamy (or screamy and therefore warm) could it be a heat rash? What does it look like? I guess NHS direct have been able to reassure you - but still if it changes or you're worried later don't be afraid to ring them again or see your GP.
The nap - I can't say I do the same as you as P has NEVER slept in transit! Though I've walked miles with her looking sleepy, she stays awake, determined not to miss out on any scenery! But I really wouldn't worry. If she naps in the pram then so what? She's getting her rest, you're getting a break I assume, so that's fine. If you're happy with it don't worry about whether it's 'right' or not. I often give P a quick BF before a nap which is no doubt 'wrong'.
And yes I do the continued driving round thing - and I have the heating on more than I would without her - and I drink more cuppas when I'm with her and therefore boil the kettle more, so P is definitely responsible for a good amount of global warming.
Now sit down with dh, get yourselves some cheerfulness and tell yourselves you're doing a fantastic job. You're her parents and it's your choice and your privilege to parent her as you will.

oh, trace - thank you so much. just read out your last two sentences to dh. he said "oh, bless". so thank you.

Oh thanks Veggie It's no wonder I don't post on the ante natal threads again very much - you lot are all way too nice!

Lady hope you are feeling better about things with dp etc.

WG, we are about to swap to the forward facing car seat. I'm assuming he'll like it more as he constantly tries to look out the window in the backwards one. What car seat did you get? I don't drive around the block, much but if he falls asleep when we just get home I shove him straight in the cot (mean mummy) but he usually only cries for a little bit then is asleep I'm terrible with the Global warming stuff too don't worry.

Trace, I hope your meeting is ok and you aren't getting too stressed. I'm sure it'll be something silly and you'll have worried for nothing!

Yes WG - do whatever you have to do to get through. As long as it's not dangling her off the edge of a high building, how can it be wrong? If you have to drive her round - so what, I say! Why punish yourself? But Trace said it all above, and better. (Trace, I hope P has perked up).

DaisyD- a 50 page form? Good heavens.

Veg - gosh, that sounds like a tough situation for your friend. He deffo needs to fly out there...

Kayz - paint it a different colour? New tiles? New mirror? New taps? (lots of bathroom sales on). Nice new bathmat? Sounds nutty but little things can make a big difference.

Car seats - DP has done some research on getting the new one and wants to continue with a rear facing one for as long as poss. I think it's going to be quite a complicated undertaking as we will have to get new fittings for the car.

Ordered the new kitchen today. We've gone for a Wickes one. It's solid wood and we got a good deal. But still need to buy floor tiles, underfloor heating, cooker, fridge and washing machine. Have ordered bathroom stuff and shower room stuff too. Thank heavens I had my redundancy money.

Dylan walked earlier!!! He took about 4 steps which he did twice!!!

we got the maxi cosi priori xp. it's forward facing, easy to fit and move from car to car. she sleeps in it, but, as i said, screams when not. i'm sure she'll get used to it. hopeful emoticon.

anyone doing up a bathroom/doing tiling... my only tiling recommendation is to buy bog standard largeish main tiles (we had big white tiles costing next to nothing) as the main tile, and have a really simple, thin border running around the room in something flash. we went for some gorgeous irridiscent tiny blue tiles - a line around at chest height, 2 tiles wide, plus the same at the top of the tiles near the ceiling.

thanks, ladyt - feeling better (marginally).

We have white tiles in the bathroom and I am thinking of getting tile paint and just painting the tiles. I had my heart set on this aqua colour. But it is just horrible on the wall. It seems much darker than the tester pot.
So now I need to pick a new colour.

WG - we are getting another Maxi cosi too as I've been really happy with the stage 0+ one but just trying to decide between the tobi and the axiss - don't think i'll worry about the base thingy as the first one cost a fortune and as Veggie said, I am miffed that they aren't interchangable. How far does it recline?

Lady - great news on the kitchen progress.

kayz - rip the whole thing out !!
re the tiling - we did ours with huge travertine quite pricey ones - get a good tile cutter if you are doing it yourselves as dh and bro went through 3 before finding one decent enough to not crack any tiles!
Changing tiles makes a massive difference - also so do your fixtures and fittings so even just changing taps and handles etc

I am actually thinking of doing the bathroom walls white and then picking a colour and having the tiles, towels etc in that colour.

kayz IME tile paint will chip off eventually, we have an pretty much all white tiled bathroom, but have blue slate flooring and some small bue glass tiles running in a border around the room. Our room is only tiny so it does help to make it look bigger.

Re: car seats Ds has been in the next stage for a while now. HE HATED the rear facing, literally screamed and screamed. But loves forward facing, in fact he has most of his naps in it. I tend to leave him in there with a monitor on as if I move he wakes and won't go back to sleep.

On the form issue, I had a quick scan last night and it looks like I can bypass a good chunk of it as we have a Drs letter to say she is terminally ill - phew!

Off to Dr's in a moment as DS is wheezing like he's on 40-a-day again! His inhaler is empty as they won't let me have it on repeat (because he isn't asthmatic). He has been cold free for a few months now so not sure what is going on but it has caused him to have a few restless nights as he is waking himself coughing - again!

Morning

Aub: 1 more day to go. Hope DD1 is recovering and you got some rest over the weekend. I prescribe a v large gin as soon as your DH gets through the door.

LadyT: sorry to hear about teh row, it is horrible having arguments you can't resolve there and then. Kitchen sounds lovely though . On the property front, looks like we'll be exchanging in the next couple of weeks - our buyer wanted to exchange on Wed but seeing as the freeholder has only just sorted the paperwork that might be a tad optimistic.

Daisy: I'd be tempted to give your DH a good clout over the back of the head for that. I think you're doing a great job and are being very patient. Is your DH's sensible aunt of any use?

Kayz: good news about DH's job and hope your hours get sorted, or if not that you hand in your notice with relish!

I am v impressed at all these tales of walking babies, DS2 is yet to stand unsupported. Though it means I can put off getting shoes. DS1 got through piles of them in his first couple of years as he grew so quickly.

Singing: DS2 does a good crocodile scream as well. Though he gets a bit excited and screams at the end of every verse! We've started having a bit of singing time at bedtime as I'm feeding DS2 and DS1 is settling to sleep, DS1 always requests Fireman Sam which isn't exactly a lullaby.

Car seats: we got the maxi cosi tobi for DS1 and it's very comfortable. Thkinking that we must get him a new car seat as DS2 will be big enough for it now. Mind you we haven;t got a car yet so don't have to think about it.

Veggie: keep meaning to say that if you want a Thomas comic and/or some choc posted over let me know. DS1 would be very happy to choose something

Am laughing at MoM's antics, did your friend appreciate your concern?

WG: as everyone has said, if it gets your DD to sleep then do it! I still try feeding DS2 to sleep for naps when I'm at home, rarely works now. He drops off as soon as he gets in the buggy. The crabby/screaming/rash thing sounds like a bug or teething. Hope she's back on form soon.

Trace: am sure the CPN appointment was moved so they can help support you properly rather than leaving you hanging on for another week. Hope all goes well.

Tortoise: love the name Edith

Rubena: are you getting some energy back now? Can't believe you are in the second trimester already, it seems like no time since you were confessing your top secret news on here!

Trace - I have been thinking about the anxiety that the news of this CPN appt has brought you. I think it's a real shame your CPN didn't predict it would have that affect. I mean she knows you are depressed and she is a professional and I just wish she had called and arranged to see you on the same day rather than leaving you hanging. I so hope the appt goes well. If she does suggest giving up work you can always make the case for why you think that is a bad idea. She should listen to you. Thinking of you. x

WG - Again your tales of R remind me of my DD1 who never once napped in her cot. I used to take her out in the buggy every nap time and then leave the buggy on the front step while creeping back into the house (leaving her to get kidnapped on the street). I also regularly drove round and round the block then parked outside the house and read books in the front seat while she slumbered. Happy days! But seriously, if it works, it works. DD2 thankfully loves her cot.

Rubes - I have lost track of your pregnancy. Have you had your 12 week scan? And are you going to find out the sex this time?

LadyT - So sorry about the rows. Are they always about the same issues/behaviours? Can you institute "Toddler Taming" methodology and put DP on a clearly explained system of reward and punishment??? That's probably not very mature is it!

Daisy - I remember those forms. My mum had a brilliant Macmillan Nurse who did them all for us. Does your MiL have one?

Right, Tube about to pull into station so don't have time to air my insecurities after 5 other mums expressed shock that I was still BFing and proceeded to urge me to stop. Is it that weird at 13 months? Maybe MN makes me think it's more normal than it is. Hmmmm. Not that I care whether it is the "done thong" but I was shocked that others seemed almost appalled.

Oh and DD1 is bright as a button this morning. Thank God.

Hello,
Mom: I'm glad it turned out ok with your friend - I must admit I was dreading it was going to end badly.... You hear so many terrible stories like that.

Effie: Yes I think i'm feeling like I have more energy these days. I'll be 12 weeks at the end of this one so almost in the 2nd. DS is full on at the moment - never stops!

I am at my tits end with nappy changes, and now that he's walking he just squirms and twists and then bolts off unless I pin him down with my forearm and get annoyed with him and then he gets really pissed off any tips?

Nausea doesn't seem as bad either thanks God although I did actually throw up the other morning however hadn't eaten anything so it was just coffee at that point - sorry if tmi

Big long walk is in order today I think now that the weather is settling down.

Kayz, I agree with daisy about the chipping tile paint.... might be more trouble than its worth?

Morning.

Thanks Daisy. I want to completely rip the tiles out but DH thinks painting them will be easier. But if it chips easily then there is no point.

Rubena I can't believe you are 12 weeks already. That has gone really quickly.

I am handing in my notice today. I feel a bit bad that I will probably leave them in the lurch but I need to put the boys first. I will not work and put the boys in nursery when all my wages go to the nursery.

Hello Aubs, I x posted. You sound in much better spirits now? I'm 11.5 weeks right now and have the scan next week! have heard the heartbeat at the GP's last week which was reassuring as it was quite strong and easy for her to find For sure we are going to find out the sex again, but going to try and keep it to ourselves, as since the date etc will be no surprise, I'd like the family to have something to look forward to! I have a gut feeling it is another boy, but what do I know!
I agree with you re: Trace. They should have know better than to arrange that but not say why, as they'd know full well the anxiety it would cause. I'd give them a piece of your mind Trace!

I know Kayz, I kind of feel like it went quick too. I said to dh last night i'm a third through this pregnancy, and (given how much I dislike being pregnant) if we are stopping at 2, I won't ever have to have a 1st trimester again!

Oooh - yay about the notice Kayz!!! So did they reject your request for different hours then? What the heck happened to flexible working with your employer??? I hardly think what you are asking for is asking too much!!

Kayz sorry I didn't read your post properly - yes that makes sense. Fortunately I may not have to worry about childcare, however if I did, it wouldn't be worth working.... especially with 2