May 09 - The Sleepless Babies Club, All Dubious Fashions Welcome

[Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa]

Ladies.

Yes flip hope it has gone ok today.

ses you mentionned AF returning. I only fed R morning and evening for about 6 weeks and my AF didn't come back until I stopped completely so you may be lucky until you completely call it a day.

dandy I would have come down for the london meet but I've got a friend here for that weekend, plus its half term here.

Name check amnesty for the rest as need to have a big rant about my sleep, or lack thereof!!

We are playing musical beds here at the moment. Its quite ridiculous. DH has bouts of insomnia or complains about my snoring (I think he is making that bit up ) and takes himself up to the spare room quite regularly. Leaves me to then sort out the DCs when they wake up. DS1 is still sneaking in to our bed. When R wakes up, I have been bringing him to us too but don't like to if DS1 is there. So I have to put DS1 back in his bed, and then bring R in. I have been lent the No Cry Sleep Solution so will see if there is anything in there that will assist.

DH and I also had a row at 4am this morning. In one of his insomnia bouts that clashed with R waking, I heard him getting his stuff ready to go to the gym (at 6.30am when it opens). Now the DCs have for the last week been awake at 6am, DS1 literally bouncing off the walls as soon as his eyes ping open. And I am at the end of my tether with this as DH is either at the gym or upstairs whilst this is all going on. So I asked him not to go this morning. Cue massive row (in hushed voices as R in my arms). He does do his fair share but the constant 6am waking and the twice a night wake ups had just about done me in. I do feel awful about it now, but he didn't go. Everyone slept till 7am and it made all the difference TBH.

Sorry to rant on. And breathe. And just seeing on the news about the mother who has done the unspeakable, well it puts a few early nights into perspective really. Sorry all.

ladyH, your DH should be able to share the waking up responsibilities, even if you still do the majority of it, if he could help you just an extra day to let you 'catch up' with sleep, that's not asking much?

lucky man, going to the gym .

flippin, how'd it go? hope it's made you feel a little better, anyway.

pula, did you go to work?

Hope everyone's feeling better today.

Hi all,

headless you sounds exhausted. I think its probably right that you had words with your DH as constantly being up in the night is v draining, especially if you don't get a break in the day.

flip hope today has gone ok.

london meet up I'm not to far from the big smoke on the train and would love to meet you all but not sure if I am brave enough to do it on my own with A as it would involve getting across london. Will have a think about it.

Thanks for the info on naps guys, I am kind of pleased to know its not just A that has problems with napping in the cot. I like your method of lying down with C belg, as it would mean I get a rest too ;)

ses re AF. I was down to one feed a day from early Jan and up until a fortnight ago when I stopped completely. I got my first period this morning as have v bad cramps but kind of pleased to know everythings back in working order so to speak!

Right, must go and try to register for childcare vouchers. Has taken about 12 emails to get our work's registration number so I can sign up

Hi to everyone else I haven't managed to namecheck. Hope everyone is ok today.

Aw, thanks for the sympathy vibes, guys. I am exhausted. Was in bed at 8.30pm last night! Thing is I think I may have been ABU, as DS1 now being at school, and R is a good napper during the day (sorry running) I should be able to nap then too. But I can't always coordinate my exhaustion with his. I feel fine now (hence me being on MN for the last god knows how long whilst R is snoozing away upstairs!).

I also felt the same when I got my AF running. Am embarrassed to tell you all that have ordered OPKs this morning. . It could be a long haul though as we don't officially start TTC until after we've been snowboarding in March. i just want to see if I am still OV.

OOh headless- how exciting about TTC again soon! Hope you get some quality sleep soon. YANBU about having words with your DH. I would love to take myself off to the spare room when my DH snores, and not to have to deal with the DCs in the night, but it's simply not fair to do it, or to do an early morning gym session. A friend of mine has a DH who complains he hardly sees his LO all week, as he's out of the house by 6am and doesn;t get home until 8pm. Turns out that he chooses to go to the gym before work .

Momino- yes i'm at home. I figured that DH will be off with the DCs tomorrow as it's his non-working day, so he needed to finish off his work for the week today. I felt ok this morning,but feeling a bit off again now, and can't stomach eating anything. Poor S is doing korma newborn poos and is sooooo grumpy and off his food. He is now asleep on the boob whilst i type as he took ages to go to sleep in his cot only to wake after 5 mins and then refuse to go again.

I have a catch-up with my boss tomorrow. I don't know whether it is because i am tired and run-down, or having trouble getting used to the new routine, but i feel like i want to cut my working days down. Not sure yet if i want some "me" time e.g. an afternoon off a week or every other week, or more time with S (today has put me off as he's been so clingy and grumpy). Maybe i need to give it a couple more weeks, but i think i will say to her that i don't feel happy with the current working patterns.

Ses- with DD and DS1 i didn't get my AF until 4 weeks exactly after i'd completely stopped BF. With DS1, I was only on 2 feeds a day and was hoping AF would return (as we wanted to TTC). In the end, I was so desperate I stopped BF at 11 months even though i wanted to carry on until 12 months just to get my AF again.

Hi everyone,

flippin I hope that the session with the counsellor has been very helpful today.

pula I think that with 3 dcs it must be much more difficult to work the hours you do. That's exacly why I'm going back 3 days a week and not the 4 days like I was working before. I don't think I could manage the housework on top of the out of house work IYKWIM. Also great about H sitting through the film.

headless I don't think YABU. If your DH is awake at that time a day anyway, why not take care of the dcs? I'm quite lucky with my DH in that way. He would do that, but he's not an early riser, so it rarely happens. Gosh, March is only around the corner. How exciting about TTC. I think we'll have another one one day, but I don't want to TTC until C can walk, just in case I get PGP again.

running It would be lovely if you could make it. The more the merrier Oh and my AP will definitely be in the UK by then and so she can come along and do some chasing after toddlers if necessary

dandy I've got no help as to what books influenced me as a teen. I read a lot TBH, anything I could get my hands on, but mainly Stephen King and similar horror stories... and Agatha Christie Like your blog idea though. From what I've seen on here you'd be very good.

ses Great news about the positive settling in session

Well, I went out last night . Woohoo. DH phoned in the afternoon saying he'd be home for the evening after all. My slingmeet group were going for a drink in the pub and so I made a last minute decision to join them. DH gave C her dreamfeed from a bottle around 10.30 and she took about 3 oz, but still managed to go until 2.30, which is not too bad considering. Next Tues I'm going to a pampered Chef thing, I'm looking forward to that too, except for the being expected to buy something bit.

Dd1 has got a little friend over at the moment. No doubt they're turning the bedroom upside down as we speak. Better go now and prepare them some food before her mum comes to collect her again in a bit.

Hello!

Came back from NCT group early as O was really tired and not settling there. He fell asleep in the car so I brought him int he house in his car seat where he stayed asleep for another 30mins before waking up. I then fed him and he fell asleep again so I transferred him into his cot and he's still there!

Thanks for all comments about AF returning. I kind of want to carry on BF O night and morning but at the same time want to think about ttc from May so I guess I'll see what happens over the next few weeks/months.

LadyH - v exciting to be thinking about ttc again isn't it?!
As for yor DH, I just don't think they understand the continuous disturbed nights

Pula - hope your discussion with your boss goes well tomorrow.

Flippin - thinking of you. Hope it's gone well.

Dandy - I like the sound of that potential blog

Did anyone see the GMTV "discussion" on extended BFing this morning? I am so !!! Link here
What gets me is that the views expressed by Claire Byam Cook were promoted as fact by the presenter, even though she has not practised as a Midwife for over 20 years. I don't actually intend to BF Owen until he's 4yo! Maybe until he's 12mo or he doesn't seem interested anymore but I think that mothers who choose to should be allowed to without having to defend themselves and this kind of media coverage is just blatantly inaccurate!
This kind of interview is deliberately provoking to encourage mothers that extended breastfeeding is somehow wrong (in light of the programme's sponsor being Nestle who make a baby formula) and shouldn't be done.

Shall I get off my high horse now?!

Doh! Sorry link here

DS off pre school today again because of his one vomit yesterday. i've been feeling a little queezy since yesterday too and had to dash to the loo this am.. sorry tmi! anyway DS vomited again this afternoon so won't be going back to pre school tomorrow oh well.. at least he's not really really poorly

i'm due to be taken out tonight to the cinema by a pal i've not seen in ages.. i still feel queezy but fine apart from that.. wwyd?? i think i could get away with going?!

hoping i can talk dh into london trip at half term.. and love the sound of the hummingbird baking book and place just my kind of thing. will work on him and see if dh's pal now living in london with his new lady has room to put us up.. fingers crossed! - dandy you've such a great way with words i'd subscribe to your blog. would also buy your book too

headless exhausting am's ikwym.. dh is up and off to work before 6am.. so i've no choice but to do it all myself. he does get home soon though so helps with this time till they go to bed.. which makes a big difference. exciting TTC soon have to admit i'm still broody and

flippin how was your councilling session today?

running boo to AF & wondering about crossing london myself (our trains arrive at paddington.

pula hope you're both feeling a bit better tomorrow and your meeting goes well..

dandy that does suck.. no fair esp as you were bf. wrt your flash backs in three chapters on the trot.. i'm not sure.. how long are each of the chapters and how long the flash backs? i think it'd really depend on the flow of the story if it made it seem to be jumping around all the time i'd prob find it more confusing than annoying i love the diana Gabaldon books and she flitted from here and now to long time past a lot in her first book.. it didn't affect the flow of the story and was a riveting read..

off to get G ready for bed.. bf.. then i'm going OUT

You've all been chatting a lot this afternoon. I shall have a good catch-up later but for now I shall just mention a few things.

I haven't had a period (can't call it AF either) yet despite some warning signs. I suspect I am ovulating though from one or two signs I have had. Headless have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni somebody or other? It is great for educating yourself on the signs of ovulation and I would recommend all mothers of girls get it for their daughters at some point. It is a fantastic book and I have learned so much from it.

Dandy I've been thinking more about my comments earlier about reading as a teen. I had a fairly ordinary childhood in a provincial town and no one I knew did anything of any note. I read voraciously as a child and it is a probably a cliche to say that it was my window to the world. Actually, yes, that does sound cliched. I was also a bit obsessed with doom and gloom-laden books after my mother told me all about the cold war. I was convinced that there was going to be a nuclear war and the world would end so I read a lot of books about that. But these are the ones that I particularly remember:

Daddy Long Legs this was the first romance I ever read and I cried myself to sleep over this.

Children of the Dust I have read this countless times. It is told from the persepective of several people over a long time period. Also Z for Zachariah, Brave New World etc.

Lois Duncan wrote thrillers and I loved her stuff. In fact I may buy them again. They were definitely trashy but I devoured them!

There are probably more. Why these books? As I said I liked doom and gloom but I also liked a good dose of realism. Good writing wasn't always as important as a realistic yet exciting plot. I liked a good dose of romance too; I wasn't getting much as a teenager!

Evening all!

dandy - I'd read your blog! I wonder if the flashbacks all so close togeher might get a bit confusing. Could you perhaps space them with a chapter in between each somehow?

Influential teenage books: has no-one mentioned Judy Blume?! Llaregub, Z for Zachariah was well read here too, it freaked me out quite a bit but I reread it loads. Also the Robert Cormier books, and Alan Garner. But mostly I read crime fiction when I was a teenager, mainly because in the library I went to the crime section was after the teenage section, so it was a natural progression once I'd exhausted the teenage stuff! When I was a teenager, all the Virginia Andrews books were popular for some reason, probably not the quality of writing.

Running - I've managed to do London quite a few times with both girls, A in the sling and DD1 in the pushchair. It's ok really, as Dandy says, not as bad as you expect it to be. I have done the tube, but actually tend to get the bus because it's easier with a pushchair. Do your trains arrive into Liverpool Street? I could always meet you there and we could travel together.

Thank you for all the good wishes for today. It was interesting, and of course I cried. It was good in that some of the things I was wondering in my head were kind of validated, iyswim. The thing I'm struggling with though is how this is going to help me change things in the future, I almost feel like I need someone to help me write a plan if that makes sense. And I need some serious confidence boosting - any tips?

I'll try to do a bit more catching up now I've typed that monster piece!

Yes yes to Judy Blume. I can't hear the name Ralph without sniggering!

I also read a lot of K M PEyton, Robert Swindells. I've been on Amazon tonight and I've added most of these to my wishlist. I might buy them for DS....

Not a teen book but the Silver Sword is another book that has always stayed with me. I am looking forward to reading it with the boys.

I forgot the Dark is Rising. I named DS1 after one of the main characters.

I'll stop now.

Dandy, I'd read your blog.

fi - hope you aren't ill and that you are having fun at the cinema.

belgina - I used to read all the Agatha Christies too, I have a huge collection in my parents' loft!

DH and I have had a long chat about stuff this evening, he's great. He's trying really hard to understand.

Sorry flip, my head was still on books.

Dunno about confidence boosting. I have my ways but I'm not sure they'd be everyone's way.

I suffered from, and still do occasionally, confidence problems. They were probably worse at school then at university, but weirdly not in work situations. In fact at work I was told the opposite. But I suspect I am getting better at faking it.

I have a friend, who I'll call Jayne, who is super confident, happy, jolly and generally good to have around. When I'm feeling miserable or lacking in confidence I often do a "what would Jayne do" and try and act as her. You've heard of fake it until you make it, yes?

I've found clothes, hair and make-up count too. When I've made bit of an effort I do feel better. With the boys I often feel better during the day when I've planned it out a bit. Otherwise I get a bit miserable sometimes.

Sorry, is this the sort of thing you mean?

llaregub - thank you, yes, that is some of it. But I'm struggling with confidence in my own abilities too. A long time ago I was good at what I did at work, but having been reorganised out a job twice I'm doubting that I have anything useful anymore, huge career crisis I think. And I doubt my parenting abilities most days too. Maybe I don't need need counselling, I need parenting classes! I can cope with babies, but toddlers? Not sure about that.

Sorry, there's a lot of mememe going on here tonight. Books are far more interesting!

I've recommended this book previously but it has helped me. Regarding work, have you considered coaching?

Sorry to be so concise but am feeding G and watching "brothers and sisters."

Thanks Llareggub. I've read about that book before but never seen it. I'll try to get hold of a copy, it looks interesting.

flippin I was going to suggest what llare said. It might be worth talking to a life coach or career advisor to discuss what your skills are and where they can take you. I do also suffer from self confidence problems. My training as a mw was horrendously blighted by them and I cried nearly daily. As for coping with toddlers... well, who can cope with them. Those little people tend to be challenging to the best of us.

periods Not had them yet. C still bfs a lot though including 2x at night, although less than a month ago, so I presume that's a sign that the BLW is going better than it seems. I think they might return when I'm going back to work.

The ap has bought her ticket and she's coming in just under 3 weeks . Gosh this is making the going back to work thing so close now.

Thanks Belgina. Forgot to say good news about the AP! Hope all works out.

I think for now I'm not going to think about the work stuff, as I'm probably not going back in April. I think I mentioned a while ago that DH is ok with that - well, this evening he admitted that actually his preference would be that I don't go back at until all children we may have are in school. He's never said that before, so that was a bit of a revelation! So that definitely means I need to work on the parenting bit, and admit to myself that I am a full time mum!