December 2009: for the sake of Auld Lang Sine

[LaDiDaDi]

Just thought that I would get this started before the ante-natal thread gets filled up, not that I've had much time to post since I had DS but others might be able to multi-task better than I can!

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Claire-just a thought, but could your DS be over tired? The reason i ask is we normally put DS2 to bed around 7.30, but have had to bring bedtime forward to 6.30 as he just cant last til 7.30, and would get himself so worked up he would scream the house down, and would refuse to feed as was so tired.

gs.... def totally ignore him..... its our golden rule at work and if you knew the things we have helped our students achieved with this tactic you would be amazed!!! HAving to ignore a child who is trying to attack you is hard or one who turns all the tables over is hard...... we just turn our backs.... obviously ensuring everyones safety but if noone at risk then we ignore. hire a carpet cleaner in a months time!!!!!

annie - he does scream when he's overtired & fights sleep which I don't think is his problem to start with but definitely ends up being part of the problem as he wears himself out crying. At the moment he's tired, you can tell by his cry

Was reading our local paper and saw that Krispy Kreme are doing special, heart-shaped doughnuts for Valentines and thought AmazingBouncingFerret would love them, I ought to tell her

DS asked in advance for the loo again this morning and was rewarded with a hug, a jelly bean and some playtime. Just hoping we can keep it up for the rest of the day.

Catherine went from 10pm till 2am and then till 6am so I got some sleep. Feeling a bit more positive but still can't shake the feeling that I'm failing.

i cant bf unless holding in football hold.... have put him down in his big boys cot as i am getting stressed adn he needs to sleep.

ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLING WITH A BABY WHO ONLY WANTS THE MUMMY..... ds is not difficult for me but is rarely happy being held by anyone else!!!

Catherine is a Mummy's Girl too. DH is convinced she hates him!

Mummy's are the most comforting though, you smell nice, your voice is familiar, even your heart beat is comforting - reminds them of being tucked up safe and warm in your tummy.

As the outside world becomes more familiar, he'll start being a bit easier to give to others.

And then they become toddlers and you're desperate for them to want to come and cuddle you again! Even worse is when they pick Daddy as a favourite and they won't come anywhere near you Luckily, it never lasts long and favourites change.

I'd have waited a bit longer to train DS too Lee but he wanted to do it and started without me! We're going to go and get some stickers and make a chart today to back up the progress we've made. It's not space I want - I always hated working and longed to be a SAHM - just the best for my children. I'm just finding it hard to think that I am the best right now.

thanks gs that made me feel better..... people ask.... ooohh whats wrong with him an hes not a chilled baby is he..... when actually he's not at all bad..... will lie under gym, in cot looking at mobile etc etc for 15 mins and never cries uncontrollably..... and if he is getting there we are naughty and give him a drop of gripe water.... dont think it does much medicinal good but ds likes the taste and it shuts him up. he just got himself to sleep in his cot after only 1 plug in x

GS it sounds to me like you are total super mum.... potty training and a newborn baby.... my god i can only just about cope with a dd who is nearly 8 and can do most things for herself!!

I didn't choose to be potty training Sparkly, thought I'd sorted that months ago! I'm just too stubborn to put him back in nappies now he's regressed.

It sounds like your DS is just fine if he's happy being put down on his own sometimes and a few drops of Gripe water won't do him any harm, especially not if it keeps you sane! - other people are just jealous that they don't get enough of a cuddle with your gorgeous boy who adores his lovely Mummy

Aw guys! You're all doing so well and sorry for those of you feeling very fed up - GS, Ladidadi, Sparkly, Claire etc. You are amazing to be coping with two children - I can't imagine how hard it must be!

Mille - sounds like thrush to me - I had it for 6 weeks and gave up breastfeeding as a result - mind you, I did get it right at the start so that combined with pain of starting breastfeeding wasn't ideal.. My daughter didn't have any oral thrush so even if the baby has no signs of it you could still have it. Best to go to Gp and try and nip it in the bed although my GP just listened to my symptoms as it's quite hard to spot. May as well try and treat in just in case?

Persephone has a veyr bad cold - I am constantly sucking mucous out of her nose poor thing and she isn't feeding terribly well today (3.5 oz at 7:30 and 3 at 10:30). She never seems to eat more than 4oz - very rarely she might have 5 and that's a revelation. She doesn't even usually manage 4, despite 3-4 hours between feeds. She's 11 weeks old and weighed just over 1lbs at 10 weeks. Is this normal? I know Lee said that different babies eat different amounts but she seems to eat a lot less than all the other babes of the same age. Also today she has wanted to sleep constantly - would that be a side effect of the cold?

She did 3 good nights at the weekend 11:30-6ish and I thought we were on our way to her sleeping through - makes such a difference! BUT mon, tues and last night she has woken at 3:15 again.... but not wanted much food (but wouldn't settle without it) and then hasn't eaten much at her first morning feed.. which makes me think she doesn't need the middle of the night feed (despite not eating much in the day) but I can't settle her without it! v frustrating and am also hoping it's caused by the cold too!

Chin up ladies - it's nearly the weekend and husbands/friends hopefully around to help.

Scorps - how are you doing??

ds is now 15lb 3 ozs ...........think i am prducing rocket fuel..... so dont need to worry about the posseting and feeding him with him ina sat up position is really helping.... apparently they cant tell they are full so easily if lying down!!

Wow! Good going Sparkly! I'm dreading getting Catherine weighed again as I'm worried she won't have rejoined that magical line on the graph that they want her to be on and I'll be getting told I need to top her up with formula again! I managed to put them off last time but they'll be mounting the pressure if she's not gained enough weight.

Good news here too - DS has been absolutely perfect with the loo today!! He's told me in advance for every single trip and has been clean and dry all day!! I've not had to ignore him, it's been all smiles and jelly beans. DH said he had a word with him this morning so I'm going to get him to do that tomorrow too. It's amazing, yesterday was so horrid and every single wee and poo went in his pants - he's like a different boy today!

I also managed bath and bed with both children on my own for the first time tonight as DH was dropping our nieces birthday present off. Got them both clean and dry and dressed then sat feeding Catherine on one arm while reading a story to DS with the other. By the end they were both snoozing, one either side of me, it was so lovely.

DH got home soon after to a relatively clean house and the beef stew with dumplings that DS and I had made together while Catherine dozed in her bouncy chair. Was all quite idyllic today.

Fingers crossed for another good day - for us and everyone else - tomorrow

Yehhhh GS really genuinely happy you have had a better day...... we just all have to learn to ride the ups and downs and keep smiling. ds weight sounds massive but thinking about his birth weight its not so huge a gain (10LB 11OZS)he is not chubby at all just big all over . wish they would stop plotting weight on a bloody graph though...... if they did it with me mine would be up , down and all over!!!

DS2 had 6-8 weeks check today at docs today, everything is fine and he now weighs 12lb 2oz. And to top things off he wee'd on the doctor, luckily she found it funny
he is now in 3-6 month clothes the fat bloater!!
feel a bit guilty in saying but DS2 is a really chilled out baby, only really cries when hungry and when awake will lay there happily cooing away and will just fall asleep where ever he is. But saying that DS1 was the devil child!! he cried constantly and was a terrible sleeper only sleeping in 30min blocks even through the night!

GS totally know how you are feeling re potty training, DS had been dry at night for about 6 months and then when I was 7mths preg he started wetting the bed 2-3 times a night which was exhauting. it went on for about 6 weeks of ignoring him ( which was soo hard when he was sobbing) and a star chart
I know he is a little bit too young to totally understand a star chart but could you say give him a star aswell as a jelly bean and then if he gets 5 in one day he gets a choc biscuit, so it encouranges him to think about the rest of the day and it will also help with his numbers

Ordered some reward stickers with my online grocery order just an hour ago

Going to make up a chart together tomorrow. I think if he helps me make it, it might help him to undertstand what its for.

I had some magnetic stars and I started with them all on my side and bit by bit dd pinched he off me..... she liked tht!!!!

GS - glad you've had a better day

Been trying to get ds2 to go to sleep for over 3 hours now. He initially slept for about 30 mins then had a bottle lovely with none of the usual screaming like I'm trying to poison him. He kept nodding off every few ounces then waking when I put him down & having a bit more. The last hour he's just cried though. Every single night I have to deal with this. I now think he's so far passed tired he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's currently screaming in his pram. Wondering if trying hungry baby formula might help him get to sleep quicker rather than him getting over tired because he can't seem to drink enough milk to get to sleep properly. Or maybe I'm just clutching at straws. Dread the evenings.

DS would just pinch them all.

Right, off to bed. Going to soft play for a friends birthday tomorrow - I'm going to need all my energy for that one!

Hey GS so pleased that you have had a good day. Hope for another one for you tomorrow .

Sorry to hear that Persephone has been poorly.

A bit of 1pet!

How are those of you with 2 or more dc finding bedtime? Dd had been fine but the past week has been v. difficult as she doesn't want to go to sleep. She is clearly very aware that ds isn't being put to bed at the same time as her and that he sleeps in our room/bed. I'm now putting ds in his sleepsuit at her bedtime so that she realises that it's his "bedtime" too. Some evenings he does go to sleep then but not at all reliably so we still bring him downstairs to feed and whinge! I've thought of leaving him upstairs but I think that I would be up and down all evening and that he would disturb her even more than she is getting up now iyswim. Words of wisdom needed!

Ds1 went to bed at 7 so we told him since he was a big brother his bed time was now 7.30 and ds2 bed time was 7. He thought that was amazing and it makes him feel really grown up.

Bed time routine is 6.30 ds2 bath
6.45 feed ds2 while ds1 goes in bath.
7.00ish or when ds2 has finished feeding and put in cot in own room, and play and wash with ds1 in bath.
7.15 get dried, pj's on, brush teeth and story. Sometimes ds2 needs more winding or tucking back in.
7.30 lights out! And me time. When I go to bed I get ds2 and put him in crib in my room then he wakes up at about 2ish. I have done this from day 1 which has helped alot and ds2 will shout at me if i'm a bit late at putting him in the bath Haha

Hmmm, ds unfortunately either sleeps from 6.30pm to after 10pm (ideal) or won't sleep at all in the evening until 10.30pm (this evening and last). Dd goes up for the bath at 6.45 and should be fast asleep by 7.45 .

Will try to have a chat with dd tomorrow about bedtime and then think of a strategy.

I'm lucky that I usually have help but last night when I was alone I did...
Bathtime for both children at 6 (used to be 6.30 but DS is getting so tired from being woken up in the night, we moved it forward) Sorted DS's milk out beforehand and left it in his room ready. Catherine and DS in bath together. Got Catherine out first and dried and dressed her while DS had a longer splash. Got DS out and dried and in pyjamas. Sat on DS's bed with both children. Fed Catherine with one hand while holding the store book in my other hand. DS was tucked under duvet with his own milk. By the end of the story both children were dozing so I left "to put Catherine to bed" but actually took her downstairs as she cluster feeds till about 9/10 most nights and would wake DS if I left her upstairs.

On normal nights when DH is here, we do bath together then DH does story while I feed Catherine or if she's quiet, I read story while DH holds Catherine.

I think DS thinks they both go to bed at the same time.

Had a lovely morning this morning. DS got up at about 6 but for some reason turned the light on in his room and played rather than coming to me so I got about another hour before I had to get up. Played with DS for a while and Catherine gave me her biggest smile yet when I came back into my room to get her when she woke up.

But - we've had 2 lots of dirty pants this morning cause he's told me too late. We've had 1 successful trip now though so I hope it was just a blip. Off to soft play soon so I'm hoping he stays dry while we're out.

Hi all

I'm managing well with dcs alone, lacey sleeps though most nights, though up until 11 ish feeding.

I miss him very much. but hve to do each day in te hope that one day I won't.

Lacey smiles now. She is bf well and I have been able to give her ebm and go out which helps. Half term now though, eek.