December 2009: for the sake of Auld Lang Sine

[LaDiDaDi]

Just thought that I would get this started before the ante-natal thread gets filled up, not that I've had much time to post since I had DS but others might be able to multi-task better than I can!

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Hello Scorps . Really nice to hear from you and that things are ok. Fantastic that you are managing with all of the dc [awe emoticon] and getting sleep!

GS, I think at first that dd also assumed that ds went to sleep at the same time as her but now she realises that he doesn't and that his basket is in our room.

Ideas are:
Might have to move the basket into his room and pretend that is where he sleeps?
Could go and sit in ds's room until dd goes to sleep?
Could sit in dd's room until dd goes to sleep?
Could do something else so that we have our evening back?
Previously I would have got cross for dd acting up at bedtime but I really don't want to make her feel rejected or jealous of ds when she has been very good with him so far.

Tried talking to dd about it this morning but all she could say is that she wants daddy to sleep in her bed with her which ain't going to happen!

I think it's a bad idea to sit with any child until they fall asleep as it will be a very hard habit to break.

Good to hear you're coping so well Scorps. How do you do it.

Got sent to bed by dh last night as when he got home I was in floods of tears & told him I wished I'd never had ds2 & wanted someone to take him away. Very, very bad night. Had long talks today with 2 friends as well as dh so feeling a bit more positive.

ds2 has bath at 1800 then bottle while ds1 goes in the bath at 1830. ds1 in bed 1930 after milk & cereal for story, cuddles & back rub from combination of me & dh then sleeps usually until about 0700. Had trouble with ds1 when I first brought ds2 home as he didn't see why he should go to bed when ds2 wasn't. I've told him that it's because babies don't know how to sleep all night not like big grown up boys. He went through a phase where he kept getting up using all sorts of excuses but has settled now.

Claire - I've had days like that too. It all just gets a bit overwhelming sometimes - especially as ds is such a pain in the arse ! He too is really rubbish at going (and staying) asleep so he gets himself into such an overtired state that he screams for hours. We have bought one of those swings and if I catch him early enough, he will drop off and sleep in that (wrapped in a blanket). Not sure whether its worth a go for you ? We have this one but presumably they're all pretty much the same. It has really saved my back because he is 16lb+ and previously would only go to sleep by being rocked to sleep by me.

Bex- DD is almost 7 weeks and during the last week the frequency of her poos has reduced. She is still producing 7 or 8 wet nappieseach day and apparently this is fine.

When I called to make her 6 week appointment was told that they like to do them at 7 weeks.

I am fooking knackered.
Elizabeth is great, going down to sleep at 7ish, she gets up at 6:30 with 2 feeds inbetween that time. Ive managed to "break" the only be held in my arms all day thing. But TBH Ive had no choice what with having to look after my Grandma aswell. Bless her she has kind of took a backseat the past few days! She still has the scabbiest forehead, im so tempted to pick at it.
DS is not liking me leaving him at nursery, lots of tears and clinging to my legs. So that isnt helping my stress levels!

GS, the heart shaped doughnuts sound amazing. Im starting slimming world () on Tuesday so they are gonna be a big no no Im glad you seem to be getting somewhere with the reastablishing toilet training. Your DS sounds like a lovely little boy and im sure this phase will soon pass.

Claire, we also have musical bed nights! Except mine include the dog, she is feeling very much left out lately and has taken to peeing on the floor in the night when Elizabeth cries, so if shes in our room we avoid that because we can calm her down. So some nights we have me, DH, DS (who likes to lie horizontally!) the dog on my legs and Elizabeth cooing and snorting away in her moses basket!

Tilly, one of those electronic swings worked miracles for me when I had DS I would of gone out of my mind without it, but Elizabeth seems to be not to kean on it so Ive only used it the once.

Good day yesterday. Went to the local library for a stortime thing and got chatting to another mum with a small baby, turns out her ds was born on the same day as mine, in fact she was the elective section before me at the hospital!

Dp is taking me out this pm to pick a Valentine present which might not seem that romantic but we don't usually do VD at all so very .

Less positively ds is still not smiling properly, worried now.

Oh and dp has now told me that we are going to a wedding next sat, obv. doesn't realise the clothing dilemma that this presents me with!

I went out last night ladidadi and ended up in maternity trousers and spent the evening when i got home in tears expressing milk with my flabby belly hanging out and super stretch marks everywhere.

Found out something disturbing today about why my dp is not interested in sex with me...... and why he is happy to stay downstairs rather than upstairs in bed with me and our son. seems a virtual girlfriend is more exciting. too embarrassed to say how i know but am actually really hurt.... what he does to himself is up to him .... its just he neither hugs or kisses me never mind have sex. think i am just tooooo fat and ugly now. things not brill anyway and i do think when your sex life goes completely its a very very bad sign!he doesnt know i know and i cant tell him because i have been snooping and i know he will go mad... something told me he was up to something. he put his arm round me and ds for first time since we were in hospital and i had just given birth. hardly been able to eat today and ended up giving ds a previously squeezed expresso cos i couldnt face the grunt suck sick sequence.

xxx

Oh Sparkly I'm sure you aren't "too fat and ugly" - not fat and ugly at all in fact!

Our bodies have been doing amazing things for the past few months and I'm sure most of us are looking a bit worse for wear at the moment. Try to remember that it's only temporary and with a little work, it will all go back to normal eventually.

I'm so sorry that your not-so-DH is making you feel bad about yourself.

sparkly - I doubt many of us on here haven't got flabby tummys. I also doubt that your dh thinks you're fat & ugly. My sex life is practically non existent & a girly night out Fri reassured me that that's normal. Your dh probably regards his virtual girlfriend as completely seperate to your relationship & doesn't see it as being a problem. Have been in a similar situation with my dh & he genuinely couldn't see what the problem was.

Hello ladies, am back after a long break. Glad to hear you're all having pretty much the same experiences as us - very clingy, mum-only baby here, with DH going a bit loopy thinking that he hates him. I am starting to introduce a bottle now so that he can start to give it to him, (maybe one of the night feeds would be nice) but so far he'll only take it from me so it hasn't really helped much. He's also started to wake up as soon as I put him down during the day so I'm getting the old swing out of the attic today to see if that works, as it did for DS1.

He'd been sleeping fine in his cot at night but last night wasn't having any of it so ended up with me all night so I am feeling a bit rubbish today, but could be a lot worse I suppose.

I must remember to keep coming on here as it is so reassuring to see everyone going through the same sort of stuff. I keep aiming towards the 3 month mark as the light at the end of the tunnel when I know for a fact that things got easier with DS1 - 2 months done, 1 to go.

Had a nice day yesertday, chose a pretty silver necklace with a heart pendant as my VD pressie but having these weird feelings of spaced out wobbly panickyness?

Very hard to describe and I can't tell if it's got a physical cause, have had a couple of really bad headaches and I've had migraines in the past, or if it's all emotional. Not nice at all though.

Ds did some definite non-wind related smiles today so feeling better about that. Dd has been doing "craft" this pm and the dining roomis a disaster zone of glue and paint.

Hi all,
HV cancelled on me 3 x now and dd not even had 6 week check!
Frankly she;s healthy enough and nice n chubby I could rock up to baby clinic but really cany be naffed.........however quick question, can I offer dd a little cooled boiled water occasionally. She's coming up 12 weeks and feeds are now fairly spaced apart by now, it strikes me I wouldnt want to go 4 hours without a drink! But does it affect their feeds? Is it a no no?

Fed up..... my dp took ds off for a long walk today armed with a bottle of expresso...... apparently he was an angel! Sometimes when we are there the babes can tell i think butif we are not they are fine.

I know the 'virtual girlfrind' thing is not that bad but when i fnd evidence that he has been busy with himself after telling me he is tired and not noticing that I am all made up I feel sad. Laid in bed nursing our son and feeling like my boobs are sagging to the floor and he is sat on the sofa doing what he has been doing. my ex p had an affair when our dd was a baby.... i am scared thats all that i do not meet his needs!!

Sparkly that's not very nice for you - poor thing!
Legscrossed - I give cooled water sometimes - I try not to give it just before a feed - perhaps up at an hour before? But yes it's fine I think!

Im not having a good day.
Im sat in my Pj's and cant be arsed to do anything.
I was fine yesterday but today it feels like a big black cloud of despair is hovering over my head.
I cant be bothered with Elizabeth, I feed her, change her then put her back down.
When she cries I get angry and slam things about.
Luckily DS is at his childminders.

I asked DH to pick me up a bar of galaxy and he bought one with nuts in. I hate nuts. I went crazy.
He has filled out the child benefit forms in his name saying he is the claimant for DS, he's not. I am. So now the forms are ruined and I tried to do the online one but it charges 10 quid and I have no money.
I just feel so angry and isolated.

There she goes again. Best get a bottle ready.

ABF - sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Give your little one & kiss & cuddle.

Here it's school hols & with snow & cold we're at home.

yeah school hols here too. We have just awful horrible drizzly rain, thankfully no snow! Couldnt go out if I wanted to, DH took the pushchair with him to work in the boot of his car. Probably explains why I feel so crappy! Plus theres no chocolate in the flat. I neeeeeeeed chocolate. and wine.
There should be places that deliver chocolate and wine to pissed off and mopey new mothers, they would make a killing.

Would I look too much like a lush if I walked to the local shop with DD in my arms and handed over DS's pocket money jar in return for a bottle of medium white?!

sparkly - does your dh know how you feel? If you haven't told him it probably won't have crossed his mind you'll be feeling exceptionally insecure because of what your ex did.

legscrossed - you can give cooled boiled water. I can't say I have but I know you can.

ABF - Hope you're having a better day today & that if you walked to the shop you at least emptied ds's pocket money jar before you went out.

ABF you can download the CB forms free, that's what I did, just google it hope you got some chocolate too

Yeah I know, but I havent got a printer (DH is an IT consultant and we dont own a printer, go figure that one out!)
But thank you for suggesting it!!
Nope not got chocolate yet, still in my Pj's dont see the point in getting dressed now!

abf - hope your day is going better & that you have chocolate! Not going out today so doing home tasks. dd is bf & sleeping on my lap & everyone else is busy playing (for the moment....)

I got Catherine to take EBM from a bottle today!!

I only expressed 1oz as I just wanted to try and expected her to refuse it again but after a bit of a choke, she drank down just over half of it before losing interest. I know it's not much but it a lot better than she's done before. Next trick will be getting her to take it from someone other than me. Might get DH to have a try with some more tomorrow...

Maybe my social life isn't completely screwed after all

Booked DS's birthday party today too. Can't believe my bigger baby is going to be 3 already!

My DH messed up DS's Child Benefit forms too ABF. Only he went as far as posting them and I had to get him to write a retraction of claim letter to include with the second form I sent!! He didn't realise I needed to have it in my name for the NI contributions. This time, I filled them out as soon as we got them and then had them waiting for when we got the birth certificate so he couldn't interfere

GS - sounds like freedom is beckoning. Might only have been a little bit of milk but it's a start. I booked DS's birthday party today too. He'll be 5 & we've gone for the deeply lazy option of a soft play place so all I'll have to do is turn up with the party bags & birthday cake (which I've ordered)

ds2 really does like to keep us on our toes. We've now had 5 nights on the trot where he's gone to sleep without hours of screaming but the last 2 nights he's slept for 4-5 hours as usual then had a bottle but woken up again an hour or so later. He goes back to sleep after a few more ounces of milk but he's not actually hungry you can tell by the way he takes it. Not sure quite how to stop him doing that. Did wonder if he might be getting a bit chilly as we've had a few cold nights so he'll have an extra blanket tonight which will hopefully help him sleep his usual 4-5 hours.