December 2009: for the sake of Auld Lang Sine

[LaDiDaDi]

Just thought that I would get this started before the ante-natal thread gets filled up, not that I've had much time to post since I had DS but others might be able to multi-task better than I can!

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Millie - could it be thrush ? DS and I have both had it and it feels how you describe. Check in your baby's mouth for white patches/white tongues etc.

Coping with 2 is way harder than I ever thought it would be. Millions of women do it every day so I feel thoroughly pathetic finding it so hard. Its actually quite nice to see I'm not the only one (although I am sorry others are going through it as well iyswim ).

Sorry to those that are having problems with their DH's as well. The first few months are just hell - lack of sleep, post natal hormones and feeling crap and flabby are not exactly conducive to happy relations. DH and I have had some fabulous arguments - particularly at stupid 'o' clock. I have bought a Babyproofing Your Marriage book off Amazon and its actually quite good.

We are down to 3 wake ups per night now which is frankly, amazing. DD was up loads last night though so I'm still knackered.

LOL at white tongues I really should preview - your baby growing multiple tongues is not a sign of thrush

He?s spitting down the stairs now.

I can?t do this.

For the first time ever I want to put them in nursery. I?ll go back to work and fail at something less important

They need better than me

Had crap night here then argued with dp this am over who was most tired! He apologised though. Stayed in bed when he took dd to nursery so feeling better but not got anything done that I planned.

GS sorry things are so bad, it will get better.

Will be back in a bit.

HV was a waste of time. She just went through the whole "ignore the bad, reward the good" thing which I've been doing then told me to call the doctors for an appointment. Probably hopes they'll give me AD's again.

Doctors made me appointment for 9am which I'll never be able to make! Not even with my doctor who is on Paternity leave till the end of this week then booked up till the end of the week after. So I can wait a fortnight or see some random!

Can't find the energy to ring again and try to change it so it looks like I'll just be missing it.

DS actually told me he needed a wee a minute ago. Rushed him upstairs with Catherine still latched on and he went to the loo. Rewarded with a jelly bean and some playing. Probably won't help but I feel a bit better

ok yesterday.... jabs not too bad but fell out with dp who told me to get a grip, sort myself out and if i treated him with some respect he might feel like showing me some love.... i calmly walked off with ds in pram and spent loads in baby gap and bought myself a huge luxury hot choc and a muffin.... doc said that food is filtered out but still convinced my mountain of chocolate upset ds tummy on monday!

Are anyone elses babes clingy..... well not sure its clingy its just I am the one who can give him exactly what he needs adn I know how he likes to be held etc..... he likes smiling and chatting but rarely likes being held by anyone else adn its getting me down! Though secretly i love having a mummys boy!

Found a fab mother and baby group today... £2 and that included a drink and a biscuit! a bit clicky but i got chatting to someone nice who showed me the ropes and we had a lovely sing song at end! Its nct run but you dont have to be a member to go!

GS my dd was a nightmare potty training so i empathise..... maybe just drop it for now or put a big sanitary towel in his big boy pants. perhaps just give him no attention at all when he does the accidents.... sorry not meaning to sound like hv. I work with autistic kids and this is what we do. ..... not saying anything like that about yours but we go right back to basics with them (i work with non communicative teenagers)and say nothing at all and turn away so that they get nothing! It really works but does take time. we would clean the mess up and say nothing. easier said than done at home i know lovey.... sending a hug anyway. I remember picking dd up from nursery with 5 bags of wet clothes when she was nearly 3 and sobbing all the way home!!!

GS - I felt like my boys deserved much better than me & actually said it to ds1 during a particularly bad day. He told me he loved me & I was the best mummy & I'm sure your children feel the same about you. You absolutely can do it. Do you think you're depressed? I've suffered for years on & off & know that I'm sleep deprived & unhappy but I'm sure I'm not depressed even though I'm also sure I'd have ADs given to me if I spoke to a dr about how I feel.

my dd told me the other day that even the best Mummys can have a had day!!!

Ain't that the truth. She's very perceptive sparkly

She is amazing bless her and was the most difficult newborn ever so anyone struggling take note!!!........It should have said BAD day though...... she can even spell better than me.....10/10 this week!!!!

Have told DH that I want to go back to work.

After Ds wet himself this morning, I just walked out and ignored him. For about 90 minutes He was happy playing in his room. Went up and he asked me to change his wet trousers. I'd been crying so was quite detached. He then told me that he needed a wee and I took him to the loo and he did one. Took all my energy but I managed to muster a smile and a "yey" and we had a cuddle and I gave him some jelly beans. I've been playing with him ever since. While we were rebuilding the garage he lost yesterday for throwing cars down the stairs I heard him farting and asked him if he needed a poo. He said no but I persisted and eventually I got him on the loo where he did one. There was a little bit in his pants so we changed them but I still did a hug and jelly beans as a reward as the majority was in the loo.

Just feel numb now though. They'd be so much better off with someone else all day.

nooooo GS it sounds to me like you are making progress just keep going..... well done for ignoring him with wet pants.... its hard but he wont be getting negative attention!!! We dont use 'bribes' at work we call them 'motivators'...... I like that!!!!

I put on loud happy music when i have had enough and just go bonkers for a while.... dd loves joining in and ds is quite happy being jigged about!!

Hi everyone. Not been on this thread for ages so thought i would let you know that i'm still alive! just been reading through the thread and am really sorry to hear all the problems some of you are having with your other DC's and also with not so dear DP/DH's. we are managing quite well with anna, but we only have the one and i honestly am in awe of those of you with more than one child! We had our inlaws here at the weekend with our little nephew who is about 20months old...by the time they left (they stayed for about 5 hours) i had to lie down on the sofa as was so knackered! so honestly, i just think however bad things seem, you are just doing brillantly well to not have caved in after the first day!!!

things here are going well; anna is pretty good and is sleeping most nights from 11pm until about 6.30/7am. Every so many days she wakes up at 4ish, but generally she sleeps for quite a long time. am so pleased. she is quite smiley now, although we do get screaming sessions still, but they seems to be happening less often. she went for her jab and 6 week check (but oddly, at 8 weeks ] the other day and all was well . have been a bit concerned as am still bf'ing and not convinced about how much weight she's putting on, but she does seem quite contented and getting lots of wet nappies so i guess that's a fair indicator of how she's doing. strangely enough, pooey nappies seem to have gone from almost every other nappy, to every other day, but apparently that happens quite a bit?? had her weighed at clinic last week and she'd put on 3oz in a week, buy has dropped from above 75th centile to just above 50th.....

unlike Anna, I need to lose lots of weight. was overweight before i got pregnant and now seem to be eating for england. i am 5'6 and a size 16, so would like to at least get down to a comfy size 14, but that will mean getting off my bum to do something! it is so cold here that i really can't be arsed to leave the house ... and now it is absolutely tanking down with snow...we need some sunshine!!

and sex life is currently non-existent. Doctor has prescribed contraception for me, but think it is wishful thinking!! Need to get that sorted, but the sight of my flabby strech-marked belly is hardly going to be a turn on is it?!? ha ha ha!

Managed to spot another dancing session so we've been clean and dry all afternoon now! Looks like this mornings Mummy-meltdown might have actually helped!!

Lee, my profile is probably quite misleading at the moment as it probably says DS is 2 where in actual fact, he is only a month off his third birthday. He instigated potty training just after his 2nd birthday - I wanted to wait till the summer. He suddenly started getting very upset whenever wet or dirty and asking for his nappy to be changed. I bought 2 potties, one for upstairs and one for down and within a couple of weeks we were 99% successful. Soon after, we got a toilet seat (as he was scared of falling in) and we've been going really well ever since - 8 months of being trained and now we're back to square 1!

I've tried leaving him in the wet stuff - did it this morning when he wet himself - and he was asking me to change him. I think putting him back in nappies might make him think being wet is OK (after all, they pull all the moisture away) wet pants and trousers are likely to be much more offputting and get us back to where we should be faster.

I think Sparkly's right, I'm just going to have to completely ignore him when he does it so it can't be used to get attention. I'm going to try leaving him in the wet things if I can for a while, then changing him with no eye contact and walking away when I'm done. Successful toilet trips will be all smiles and a jelly bean and asking him what he'd like to play afterwards.

I've got till mid-April to sort this out before he starts pre-school!

Poor Catherine's getting the short end of the stick today. I've either been dealing with DS or sobbing. Not a great day

Whoo Hoo!! DS just said "Mummy, I need a wee" before he did one and we had time to get to the loo and everything!!

Dd is getting quite upset at nights about not having anyone sleeping with her/in her room. Ds either sleeps in his moses basket or co-sleeps with me with dp in the spare room. Last night was like musical beds. Ds went to sleep at around 1am then dd came to me at 1.30am wanting daddy so then she went to sleep in the spare bed withhim but then came back to me at 6am wanting to get in with me and ds. I caved in and let her get in as she was so genuinely distressed but I don't know what I'll do tonight as I don't feel safe to co-sleep with ds and dd, I can't bear dd to feel excluded and I needto co-sleep to get any sort of rest myself!

GS, Catherine will be fine and so will your ds. Do you have something that you can have in reserve every day to do if it all gets a bit much? Eg Every day I think, "if I can't manage today then we are going to sit and watch Mary Poppins and have a biscuit" and I normally limit dd to 1 hour of tv/day so for me that's quite a lot. Just knowing that I have a plan of what to do if it all gets too stressful has really helped me and meant that actually I've not got to that stage very often at all

Is anyone else who is bf managing to not bf comstantly all day? I feel that ds is permanently latched on! I've not so much gained a baby as lost the use of an arm (from carrying him constantly).

I'm afraid LaDiDaDi that the other day I was proud of myself for turning the TV off for a couple of hours

Don't be or . I meant something relaxing for you both, tv was just an example. On Monday the three of us had a bath together in the middle of the afternoon, prompted by a horrendous poo from ds, and that was a really good way for us all to chill out together. Maybe try that?

Oh and dd is currently watching MP, how else do you think I'm managing to post this much .

MP?

And I should be , and bloody with myself for putting the TV on all day! This is not the parent I wanted to be. If he were at a nursey, there'd be no telly.

Said to DH that if I got a job then we could afford the bigger house we want. He's decided he likes it here all of a sudden!

One or other of us usually goes in the bath with DS and Catherine every night. DS has been hating the bath for the past week but I managed to deflect the screaming tantrum when we tried to get his clothes off tonight by promising him the bubbles he got in his party bag at the weekend if he got in. He was suddenly very keen He used to adore baths.

I know what you mean though. I'd take him for a walk but it's always so cold - it was snowing again today. Getting the Playdoh out always goes down well. Maybe I can save that for a de-stress? He loves cooking with me too, especially parmesan chicken. We both get to take our frustration out with the meat mallet then...

DH had a thumping headache when he got home from work and sore eyes too. I actually found myself hoping he was ill so he wouldn't leave me alone tomorrow!

Well dh has gone out & ds2 started his nightly crying a while ago. 2 hours last night which is about average. Wish I knew why he did this every night. Would love to be able to feed him & put him to bed at night. Being a bit of a control freak I find having to wait for him to stop crying rather than having a bedtime routine difficult to deal with. Oddly he is currently in his bouncy chair watching American Idol perfectly happily. He should be hungry but I know he'll scream if I attempt to put a bottle in his mouth.

Spoke too soon. Crying again. Sigh