December 2009: for the sake of Auld Lang Sine

[LaDiDaDi]

Just thought that I would get this started before the ante-natal thread gets filled up, not that I've had much time to post since I had DS but others might be able to multi-task better than I can!

.

I do count myself lucky that DS has picked the kitchen to pee in - at least it's easy to clean up!

LaDiDaDi - sorry, my earlier post was a bit confusing. I express in the day when I feel fullest (usually after my morning shower), I then bf as normal all day but use the expressed milk to top up the early evening feed. That seemed to help with the constant feeding/screaming cycle in the evenings. Its also worth not swopping sides too often during cluster feeds to make sure they're not just getting lots of wind inducing foremilk. I usually put him back to the same breast he finished on if he's feeding again within an hour. I have to say that I can't express too much either and with dd, I started to mix in a couple of ounces of formula with it from about 4 months. I'm not sure I'll even get to that with ds - he's such a milk monster !

I hear you all about problematic siblings. DD is very defiant as well. Everything is a massive battle.

Claire - it will get better My ds is so much more demanding than dd was. We have often said that he'd have been an only child if he'd have been our first.

In terms of leaving them for 2 weeks, I would love the idea of it - especially at the moment - but think I'd probably struggle with the reality. Could you do two separate single weeks instead ? Or one week without both and then a few days with some one to one time with both your boys ?

Tillyscoutsmum - I doubt I'd have had anymore if he'd been our first. I can't believe how difficult he is.

ds1 has been difficult since the arrival of ds2. Admittedly is does get a bit neglected because ds2 is such hard work. Parents evening tomorrow so will see how he's been behaving at school.

Would be good to split the weeks up particularly to have some one to one time with ds1 who's definitely feeling neglected recently. Is difficult as we're in Germany & parents are in England.

Oh 2 whole weeks would be lovely!! But in reality after a week id be wanting them back.
I spent Saturday day and night at my friends and tbh I didnt miss them one bit, I knew I would be seeing them the next day and I really enjoyed watching the hot rugby players, drinking beer, eating pizza and then getting completely legless watching my mate play with his band at a club.
But I completely understand parents that cant stand to leave their kids either.

Elizabeth is actually not bunged up for once. But she has developed what looks like eczema (how the fluff do you spell that word??) on her forehead so im having to slather E45 on her all the time and im not to kean on the smell
Her sleeping is staying steady, waking up once at about 3 or 4am.

ABF .... i think you spelt it right!! ds seems to have cradle cap in his eyebrows and i cant stop picking it off!!!! He slept from 7.15pm till 6.45am...... not sure how or why but a huge 7 - 8 ounze expressed bottle seems to be helping ..... i give it at some point in day or let my mum or dd or dp give it if they are here...... he likes to look at different faces rather than my ugly mug!! I do think expressing during day after feeds is really helping..... like i said before i just put the bits in sep pots in fridge then combine them when all at same temp...... have checked with hv and this is fine as long as all at same temp..... he gets lots of hindmilk this way!!! feel dead proud when i see all the 'cream' on top of the bottle!!!

dd is also being a bugger..... not nasty but just doing silly stuff like spilling drinks, needing me to wipe her bum (she is nearly 8), clearly not listening when i say stuff like .... go brush your teeth.,...... she goes and plays with her bath toys or uses a baby wipe to clean the bathroom mirror.... or sits on the loo singing..... like i said not naughty just irritating!!!

Well, leaving Catherine wasn't anywhere near as hard as I expected and I didn't even really miss her while I was gone either - was having far too much fun with my smiley, happy DS who was loving having his Mummy all to himself MIL has even offered to have Catherine again next week so we can do it again.

She wasn't impressed with the bottle though. I managed to express 4ozs this morning and she woke up 10 minutes before DS and I got back screaming for food so MIL tried giving it to her. When I got there she was trying to drink it but spitting out the teat and fussing and crying a lot. About 1oz was missing from the bottle but her bib was very wet so I'm not sure she actually swallowed much!

I'd love her to take EBM so that I have more chance to leave her and spend time with DS (or DH for that matter!) now and again so I guess we'll keep trying and see if we can get her used to it.

I guess its easier for me because I dont have to worry about Elizabeth feeding because she is bottle fed. Plus she was with her dad, so it doesnt really count!

Im getting worried about DS, he started nursery in January. All last week I had to leave him staring after me looking all forlorn. He doesnt seem to want interact with the other children there.

I am giving up on today and heading to bed early... ds had bad few hours this afternoon.... he produced a bright yellow nappy.... right colour..... but it was full of mucous which i know points towards intolerances in what i am eating.....had loads of chocolate yesterday cos i really needed it and now this..... for first time a have seriously thought about giving in with bf...... am sat here sobbing even though he has fed from me and had a bottle of ebm fine..... he just got over tired and whittered..... cooked dd a nice tea and i barely got to eat it. dp is out...... hasnt hugged me in 8 weeks since ds was born adn i am fed up of trying...... seriously had enough. ds has his 8 week jabs tomorrow and think i will end up breaking down xxx

sparkly. Keep your chin up you're bf really well, maybe lay off the chocolate ( for a little while). Give the little one a dose of calpol before the jabs, hopefully he wont get too grizzly then.
Your DP is behaving like a complete nobber im sorry you are having to put up with him.
We are all here for you. xxxx

Snitch keep up with trying to get Catherine used to taking from the bottle, she'll get there and then hopefully once we are all feeling less knackered and more human we could have the freedom to arrange a Dec09Thread piss up meet up!

Will work on bottles. Maybe try giving her the next one myself and see if that helps? A piss meet up would be great.

Bought Mother and Baby mag today and it had an article on post natal weight loss. It suggests waiting 12 weeks before starting any sort of exercise and 6 months before running especially if breastfeeding!! I can't wait that long! I'm disgusting now!!!

I know how you feel. My belly is so unbelievably wobbly. Plus awful stretchmarks. Gah. I do need to start running or something but am so unfit.

sparkly - I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Speaking as someone who quit bf after all of a week this time round I think you're doing fantastically. I really admire everyone who's still bf. Today's another day & hopefully a better one for you. Fingers crossed ds will be ok after his jabs. Keep the calpol handy as abf said.

gs - 12 weeks seems a long time never mind 6 months. Surely it's not necessary to feel fat & horrible for that long.

Started leaving ds2 to cry it out (only for 5 mins at a time) a few days ago & it's been a revelation. Where he was crying for hours at a time he falls asleep within 10 mins if left to his own devices. Last night at the point where he usually cries for hours put him in his pram & left him & he was asleep within 5 mins. Slept for 5 hours then was up for an hour or so & slept for another 5 hours having had 3 lots of 5 mins crying. It's such a relief not to be constantly holding him & he actually seems happier when he's awake. Not going to start celebrating just yet as I've had a few good days with him before & thought we'd turn the corner only for him to revert to constant crying but at worst I've got a few days grace. Actually had a conversation with my husband which didn't involve us yelling at each other over ds2 screaming. Also feeling happier having spoken to someone at school this morning whose ds was much the same as ds2. She said he'd have been an only child if he'd been her first which is something I'd felt horribly guilty about thinking. It's just a relief to meet someone who knows what I'm going through as I know lots of people who've recently had babies & they're all so much easier than ds2 which has made me feel really isolated & like I must be the worst mum in the world. Rambled on far too long. Sorry. At least I'm not complaining for a change

Hello, had a lovely day yesterday with dd and ds both being fab! Can't imagine that I'll have two days in a row like that though so bracing myself for what today will bring!

Pleased that you're feeling better too Claire, it's good to meet someone else who's had a similiar experience and lived to tell the tale.

GS, I think that's bollocks about waiting 6 months for running, seriously I can't think of a reason why other than making sure that you have a suitable bra.

I thought 6 months sounded a bit extreme too. How long would you wait after a c section before starting?

I need to do something! I feel hideously fat and totally unsexy. I feel like I'm pushing DH away cause I can't bear for him to see me dressed never mind undressed so since DD's been born, we've managed it once! Not good when you consider that we only managed it once between my 20 week scan when they told me I had a low lying placenta and the 36 week scan when they said it had moved out of the way!! And by them I was so fat and tired I didn't fancy it either!! He's so going to get fed up and leave me He's had to get up in the night with DS pretty much every night for at least a fortnight so he's tired and I'm tired from being alone with them both all day and up with DD in the night - the snapping has started and I feel really distant from him

I also think I'm maybe getting a little depressed. DS is still wetting and pooing himself even though we've been doing his normal routine for over 3 weeks now - he even had me all to himself for swimming on monday. He's really tired from being up in the night too. He's been waking up even when DD doesn't cry so I think it's just a habit he's gotten in to now. He won't sleep during the day so we've moved bedtime forward but tonight even that wasn't enough and he was a nightmare.

Really feel like we've made a huge mistake having another child. I love Catherine, she is gorgeous and easy but DS is just horrible because of her. I miss my little boy. I just want him to be happy again.

I'm finding myself withdrawing from him which I know won't be helping but I just don't like him a lot of the time at the moment. Feel like a very bad Mummy

Sorry, just needed to write that down...

GS, sorry you are feeling so bad.

I would start excercising, eg power walking?, proper swimming, now if you can manage it time wise though I would hold off running until 12 weeks. I got a leaflet from physio at discharge with weeks and appropriate post section excercise and I think that's what it said though it's long gone into recycling. Put it this way though, there was nothing that it said that you couldn't do until after 12 weeks, does that make sense??

I'm finding Dd much harder work than ds atm. I feel like I just want to sit and cuddle and worship ds all day and dd is getting in the way but I also want to be able to do things with dd that I really struggle to do with ds attached to my boob all day long. Dd has been very kind to ds lately so that's helping in some ways but makes me feel more guilty!

I think my best bet might be an exercise DVD for now. Catherine starts cluster feeding around the time DH gets home from work and going out before then would involved taking both kids with me - and with DS acting up as he is, the thought of that is quite scary.

If she'd take a bottle I might be able to get out to a class or a swim but that's not to be at the moment.

Feeds should start getting a bit more spaced soon then I'll be able to get out. DS starts pre-school in April too which wil give me 2 mornings a week with just Catherine - looking for a Buggyfit class that runs on the right days to join now...

A thought occured to me when lying in bed last night snitch ()
Have you tried putting the potty under the table where your DS likes to pee, I know it wont solve the problem but it might make it easier for you to clean up if he pees in it.

I hope sparkly is ok.

You hero for managing sex! Not even thought about trying yet!

Dont know what happened there... The I hope sparkly bit was meant to be at the end...
Bizarre.

I've just done some tummy crunches, can hardly reccommend excercise to someone else when I'm doing bugger all myself . Could only do the plank for 5 secs!

I wish the weather would pick up a bit, had dd in May and did loads of walking with her in the buggy but simply not prepared to do it in sleet!

Great minds obviously think alike - moved the table round to create a little hidey space he could sit in and the potty went in on Monday. He's too tall to sit on it under the table. I did wonder if changing the space would make it less inviting too.

We had an OK day for wees yesterday. Had one set of wet trousers (which I left him in for a while figuring that as nothing else is working, maybe letting him see how uncomfy wet trousers are might be off-putting) then I left him bottomless (in a warm house! He doesn't seem to pee if he doesn't have bottoms on ) and re-dressed him to take him to Toddler Group. Think he almost went while we were out but I noticed him dancing and took him to the loo.

Had an OK night for sleep again last night as Catherine slept for 5 hours and DS didn't get up till 5am so am hoping to be a bit more positive today. Got another toddler group this morning then home this afternoon to try out my Davina post pregnancy DVD. Am determined not to get depressed again. Was on AD's almost constantly between 19 and 25 and I don't want to go there again.

If I can find the time, I also need to do some housework and express so I can try the bottle with Catherine again....

No pressure!

Gaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Just found him on hands and knees in the kitchen straining to poo!! Thank goodness I'd not taken his night time Pull Up off yet!

I knows" he wants to go. He goes to the kitchen especially^!! Why? The second I noticed, I whisked him off upstairs (too late unfortunately) and sat him on the loo. I'm here. I'll jump up in a second to help him. Why is he doing this!?

Hi girls, not been on for a while so hope you're all doing ok.

Has anyone experienced really sore nipples when feeding but like someone is stabbing you with needles on the inside? They look fine, no sore skin or anything but I get really sharp pains when she latches on. Any ideas? Had it since yesterday morning and wondering if it'll go on it's own or do I need something?

I can't believe how hard it is having 2 children. Noone ever warns you of that do they.

GS - sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment. I know where you're coming from with the sex thing. dh & I had sex once after I was signed of work when I was 26 weeks pregnant. Noone said we shouldn't but having gone into hospital bleeding I just really didn't want to. Since I had ds we've done it twice. With ds2 being such hard work, lack of sleep & dh constantly saying he can't cope with ds crying I don't exactly fancy sex. dh is starting to get distinctly arsey about the lack of sex which just irritates me & makes me even less likely to be interested. Sometimes wish he'd sod off & leave me to it.