Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

sorry not clear in my post. He smacked the dr's bum. she was fine about it, but think thats cos she knows us quite well and knows he is good normally. thanks for the reasurance, hope he goes back to being my helpful boy again soon.

Thanks for the well wishes. Isla eventually went down at 1145 in bed with us again. She has had a reasonable day today, either from exhaustion or the block feeding I'm trying. It's blimmin' uncomfortable on the unused breast though.

She's feeding just now so I hope I manage to get her down before midnight tonight. I still need to empty the living room for the carpet fitters, make my kitchen look like it has a snowball's chance in hell of being hygienic at least for the oven fixer and put a load of nappies on at some point this evening (oven still remains uncleaned despite being on DHs list since last summer . I had a crazy day today with nursery runs, tescos and visiting a friend whose husband has just walked out on her leaving her with kids aged 3 and 1. He's been unhappy for years apparently. He just omitted to tell her anything about it until Christmas Day. So sad . His happiness is so important to him it's left her on sick leave with the prospect of having to give up her job, career & good references and house to be a full time single mum. Men are such selfish gits sometimes. The sad thing is they've had to deal with sudden bereavement and terminal illness in the families and it seems like it's triggered a midlife crisis in him and he can't see that he's acting unreasonably.

Another one who keeps nap times sacred here too! Have also realised that if I take Ioan out around his lunchtime nap, then he will sleep for 2 hours or so and then be much better for the rest of the day.
If we're in, like today, and he's just in his buggy then he wakes after 45 mins and then the rest of the day is spent in the sleep or eat dilemma for him.
Today was worse as we then went to a friends and so he didn't sleep properly there, or in the car. Took over half an hour to get him to sleep and I'm sure the rest of the night will be difficult now too, Sigh.

Heading up to bed early tonight as have been shattered all day.

Anyone else get annoyed that to catch up on sleep you have to give up your me time after the kids are in bed, rather than your dh/p taking the kids off your hands sometimes so you can sleep? Or is it just mine who's rubbish?!

hobnob hope your friend isn't too down, must be hard if it's come as a shock to her.

scarlotti see my post below for DH's who are happy to help, as long as it is not going to disturb them!

Anyway, i cannot stop as Reuben is eating/eating/eating/eating/eating/not sleeping/eating. He has just had a 20 min power nap and is now a bit peckish.

Ah well, had nothing better to do this evening.

(i might be back on, if i can liberate the laptop once i am in bed shortly)

Evening all, I hope you're well.

Bathing - normally twice a week(ish) here. I figure that he's not exactly running around getting mucky yet. He seems to quite enjoy the baths. Obviously wash him over every morning (though do confess to using baby wipes a few times) but they don't generally get dirty at this age do they?

Sleeping and napping - am I the only one who has given up entirely with a routine? Bryn really will not sleep when he doesn't want to. I tend to let him do his own thing, really, and he seems to have got into a patten himself (waking up between 0730 and 0800, then a ten-twenty minute nap around 1100ish, then awake through till 1800 with perhaps two five-ten minute naps, then a twenty minute nap, then starts on his big top up feed around 1830-1900, down between 2030 and 2100 and sleeps through till about 4-430).

Finally stopped stretching the feet and arms of the 0-3 grows today and found the energy and will power to change over to the 3-6 ones. Wardrobe is nice and neat - for now.

I have been told if I want higher dose ADs for the PND I have to stop breastfeeding I really don't know what to do. I'm pretty certain that if I stop BF I will beat myself up every single time I give him a feed - because I will feel guilty about needing the meds. I have asked for contact with the psych to see if they can offer me some extra support instead (seeing as they so helpfully reduced my sessions recently) to see if that will suffice. On top of that, am under pressure fro my parents to stop BF anyway and its really getting on my wick. Its just as much for me as it is for him - its one of the few things I know I am doing right. The only thing, in fact. So my mum saying to me "Well you've done it for more than long enough already" (pre-doctors, by the way) really is not helpful.

DPs mum is coming down this weekend, and as much as it will be lovely to see her, I really can't be arsed. I don't particularly want to have to act like I'm okay, and I know I will. I can see myself now sitting in the bath after she's gone and sobbing. Really am very fond of her, but dear goodness I wish it wasn't this weekend. Especially as its our first year together on Sunday (she types ironically, watching their three month old baby sleep...).

Will try and read through at some point properly, but my head is so fuzzy and messy at the moment I don't want to say the wrong thing and offend anyone / get things wrong. Really hope everything is going well for you all. x

erica you are a strong woman. Do not EVER forget it.

Erika sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Take more ADs and feel blue because you're not breastfeeding or continue breastfeeding and struggle with feeling blue! Just trust your own judgement as Bryn's mum - don't let anything else influence your decision. Speak to your DP and decide together what the best option for your family is. Stay strong xx

Ethan is in his first real nappy just now. It's HUGE!! Not much else to report. I'm doing an OU course this year and the materials arrived yesterday. Really excited about the new challenge! Just hope I haven't taken on too much.

Hope everyone's little bundles are behaving!

Hey all I've got about 2minutes to post so i'm going to type really fast. Well its been 2 weeks since DS1 got chickenpox so i was thinking i was out of the woods for baby , but last night i found a couple of blisters so looks like dan waited till the very last day to start his chickenpox He seems alright no fever and only a couple of spots so hoping it'll be a mild case. At least i won't have to trek into work tomorrow!! although i've only been back a eek and i'm already taking time of due to ill children Oh dear think the "career" will be taking back seat for a coupl of years (till kids are about 20 maybe

Anyway wanted some advice as i'm coming back to the UK in 2 weeks (hooray!) and i'm planning on stocking up on loads of stuff as things are a lot cheaper in the UK. I wanted to get a really cheap stroller for ds1 whos 3,5 for day trips out etc but they all seem to say max weight of child 15kg??Does anyone use a lightweight pushchair with older children is it really 15kg or is that just to cover the manufactuers???

Well it seem my 2mins are up as ds1 is pressing all the buttons on the DVD and baby has woken up and is not happy so big hugs to all!

maman our pushchair says 15kg but I used with DD until DS was born. It also says not to hang shopping from the handles, but ours is always laden... The wheels are quite worn, but otherwise fine.
I hope Dan is ok.

erika you are doing so well, especially having the courage and sense to ask for help when you need it. Bryn is lucky to have you. It sounds like you have a tough decision on your hands, but if you decide to stop breastfeeding in order to keep yourself together, that is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I understand how you feel though. I don't know about these things, but I wonder if there is some kind of treatment - like light therapy or something? - that you can have that won't affect your milk. I'm probably talking rubbish but you certainly won't be the only mum who's suffered PND while breastfeeding. It might be worth looking into alternatives.
Maybe keeping busy entertaining DP's mum will take you out of yourself for a while?

Thanks for the advice Skorpion. I had a BF adviser come round yesterday and she reckons I still have thrush and need the oral treatment the GP didn't want to give me (did you get that?), so I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm going to be brave! I bought some formula yesterday but haven't used it yet. It's making me feel better knowing it is there if I need it though and that I don't have to put myself through a huge amount of pain.

Claire I've been thinking of doing a course while I'm off too. Despite the fact that I can barely watch a TV programme at the moment... What are you doing?

Oh, meant to say that despite my preference for self-catering holiday, DH reckons he wants to go on a package holiday this year. Can anyone recommend any operators that aren't too expensive? Does it normally work out better value to have full or half board rather than self-catering? (More importantly, does full board include alcohol and will I have a permanently drunken DH on my hands while I look after 2 kids for a week?? )

I've never been on a package holiday (except for a very drunken, dirty post-A-level one!) so it's all new to me. Also, when they say the price per person, does that include children as people?

Laugs full board or all inclusive includes alcohol and snacks, half board is just breakfast and dinner. Kids normally go free (the first one) and then a much lower price. Your best bet is to get some brochures and see what you like. We did Majorca last year and the weather temp was fine. If we manage one this year (finances permitting) we'll probably head back over there.
Cheaper if you go in June and obviously avoid the school hols.
Oh, and when you cost it up, children don't count as people (!!) so you pay a supplement if you have less adults than the room can accomodate.
I have to say that our hols last year were a proper break as there was no cooling or cleaning to do.

Laugs the times we've been away its been cheaper to go full board, as the time you add in the evening meals and anything you buy for breakfast and lunches it can be quite expensive anyway. plus its a lot of hassle, tho does depend of the quality of the food sometimes it can be brilliant and sometimes not so brilliant. full board usually includes soft drinks and alcohol, in Ibiza we had to coloured bands we had to wear so they could tell if you were full board to get your free drinks at the bar, i took mine home as a souvenier as it was pretty.

Hi all. I've not been on for a very very long time, although I've tried to catch up on a few occasions but had to give up after reading a few pages. I'm thoroughly out of touch! I don't think having to move back into my mum's whilst we find a new place to rent and trying to book a wedding whilst working from home and falling out with my Dad has helped with time management. I went a good week without washing or dressing myself until DF gently suggested a shower and putting on some "real clothes". I'm coping a lot better now though.
Really sorry for the big rant coming - but is anyone else having massive problems with grandparents? I know if I read through I'd probably find out, but my Dad is really out of control. I've never lived with him, hated him until I was about 15, and since making friends with him about 10 years ago have always only ever seen him once a month at the absolute most - but we had a really good relationship. Now he wants to see us all of the time, like every week, whether it suits us or not. He made us drive 75 miles (each way) to come and see him, and now expects us to do it all the time, and for him to be able to come see us all the time. I've said no, and explained to him that we need time together as a family and to see other people, and that this does not mean that I don't love him or that I'm rejecting him, and so then he brings up the other grandparents (who we've always seen more regularily, even more so before Joe was born)and he has demaded the same acccess as they get!! ACCESS?! He's basically said that if he doesn't get it then it's not fair, I'm not being fair, and it means I don't want a relationship with him and I can basically get stuffed. I'm very close to cutting all contact with him.
I'm so upset as I was finally lifting myself out of a dark cloud and was proud of how well I was coping (there was another fall out with my dad when Joe was about 2 weeks old which affected me really really badly when I was already depressed).
I know it would come under a different thread, but am I being unreasonable?

hiya preggo, Yanbu at all. i know it is hard, (as I've had dad issues myself) and i know its cliche but you've got to do what you feel is right for you and your family. dont let this situation get you down too much hun. which i know is easier said han done too.

Laugs I'm doing the first of 6 modules needed to complete a degree in 'Humanities with Music'. Seeing DP complete his postgrad in teaching and start out on a career he loves made me realise it's not too late for me to change course careerwise and that this would be the ideal time to start. What were you thinking of doing?

So real nappies have flushable liners which should contain all the poo. My bf baby's poos seem uncontainable! Does anyone know when their poos become more... em, containable? Solid? The nappies aren't leaking but the poo ends up all over the washable nappy part which should ideally only have pee on it so I'm wondering whether to stick with disposables until he reaches maybe 6mths then go back to reusables. Sorry if it's too early in the morning for this subject!

preggo your dad is the one being unreasonable. There will always be someone who sees the baby more than others. He shouldn't be making demands he should be asking when would suit you for him to visit.

Thanks guys, I know I need to do what's right for me and my family but he's really making it hard. He's always been a very strong personality and if you want to have a relationship with him, then you have to take him as he is. You can't reason with him, and he really is incapable of seeing anything from another point of view. I even suggested we go for mediation as I know he won't listen to anything I have to say, which he agreed to. He probably thinks they'll tell me how ridiculous I'm being and I should respect my Father. After a day of trying to find a counsellor on the internet who does group sessions, I thought why the hell should I be doing this? F him. He's also fallen out with my sister because she wouldn't come and see him on a weekend when she said she might be able to, and then the next week realised that was my mum's birthday, and the roads were at their worst when the weather was bad, and he's gone mad at her and they're still not speaking a month later. I honestly think he might have a personality disorder or something. How do you have a relationship with someone like that?
And Claire i think it's a wonderful thing to be studying for a path which will make you happy. It's never too late and I bet you'll be so glad you did it now further down the line.

preggo mediation????? All this because he feels that he isn't seeing your baby as much as he'd like or as much as other grandparents who live closer?

If I were you, I'd do my best to be reasonable and explain that you're finding it hard work trying to regularly see everyone who you want to be a part of your family's life. If your other half works I'd explain that he needs some time with you as a family as well and with housework etc it is a bit of a struggle to keep up. Tell him you really would like him to have a good relationship and ask how he thinks you could agree a regular arrangement.

If you dont get a reasonable response, feel free to shout and swear! Might release some stress. He needs to see you as an adult, I know you're his daughter but you're also a mother and housewife just now and should be putting your own needs before his. If he doesn't respect that you don't have to respect his requests.

Laugs the books just arrived, thank you x
Sorry cant help on package holidays - I've never been on one

Preggo your dads behavior is unreasonable. That level of trying to control an adult child is not uncomon I'm afraid. You just need to do what is right for you. There is a thread called Toxic Parents under Relationships, they may be able to help.

Alfie is a bit under the weather since his jabs yesterday. I'm having a copper coil fitted today sat here with legs crossed

Think I have a depressed dp here. And I thought it was me that was supposed to get the baby blues.

Ninjacat - thanks for the advice, I'll check out that thread.

I sympathise with the baby jab, poor Alfie Joe was distraught all day after his a few weeks ago, and I have to take him again tomorrow. Not looking forward to it.
Have you got some baby calpol for Alfie?
What's wrong with DP? I think that any big change (esp. having a baby) can affect blokes too.

Claire I know you might find it hard to believe, but I was so calm and reasonable with dad when I was on the phone to him. I told him we see the other grandparents less than we saw them before, so it was not reasonable, or feasable, for us to see him more than we did before. I said he was being unfair on me to expect me to rearrange our lives to suit him and we did want to see him and for him to be a part of our lives, but we could only see him about once a month like before. I may as well have bashed my head against a brick wall. That's why i suggested the mediation - because he just won't listen to anything I say.

Had a rather stressful day and night with little Paula so I'm really tired now and have already forgotten half of the posts.
But I guess, I shouldn't be complaining as she is really easy most of the time.
hobnob, I really hope it will get better soon for you. I really struggeled when Paula was crying so much yesterday. But I realised that she was suffering (even if I didn't quite know why), so it was harder for her than for me.

Pavlov, my husband's drinking weekend will be in 10 days. You'll know from my daily rants .

maman, I hope it will be only a mild case of chickenpox. It's a bit early to get them I guess. But at least then it's done and usually it is milder when getting as a child. My husband had them as an adult, when he was all alone in the UK and I was still in Austria not even being able to come over for the weekend.

erika, certainly a tough decision, but as someone said, maybe there is a third option, getting a good therapy and continue bf. And if not, it is more important for Bryn to have a happy mum! Breastmilk can't give them everything they need.

Preggo, your dad is really being unreasonable. You should try to make it clear that you want him to be a good grandfather but not under those circumstances. I don't know your situation but mediation would certainly be a good thing to try. Being loved by a big family is a good thing for a child but certainly not if your dad is only causing problems for you.

claire, that's a good idea. I might look into that as well. As it seems, it is hard for me to go back to work in a way that would suit me, so maybe it would just be better to learn something new which could help me in the future.

Ok, I think I wanted to comment on other things too but Paula clearly disagrees. I'll try later

preggo in that case you've done all you can so try not to let it bring you down. Not sure what else to suggest. x

there was someone asking for the flushable liners in washable nappies (sorry, forgot who and can't find the post)
we have the same problem here. when the nappies get really dirty I wash them occasionally with 90° (I know 60 would be enough). I had first 2 different ones from thewashablenappycompany, the thicker ones are like paper and so the poo doesn't stick at all and Paula was dirty everywhere in the nappy area. the thinner ones looked as if they couldn't hold anything too heavy or too wet but did actually. But they were rather small and so the nappy gets really dirty. Now I'm trying green baby ones. They are thin and large and I think, so far the best option but still not perfect.

preggo Your father is a tosser. Sorry to be blunt, but he is being selfish, and sounds like he is used to getting his own way, if he is trying the same kind of thing with your sister too. You have to do what is right for you and your new family. If this means asking him to back off for a while then that has to be the case. Have you considered putting everything you think down in writing? What a horrible position to have to be in.

maman sorry your little one has chicken pox, what a pain having to take time off work, but at least you get some more time with him!

went to weekly weigh in DD2 only put on 3oz this week, 1 oz last week, now on 2nd percentile, still only 9 7 at 11 weeks, was 7 10 at birth so now have to go see the doctor..not sure what good that will do..she is very contented so can't be starving..maybe time to move to the bottle..for her and me..

DD1 didn't end up with chicken pox..had a dire week where she screamed all nite, high temp..took to unhelpful doc who told me it was a cold...anyway hopefully things improving slept better last nite and nursery didn't send her home today..hurrah..

sorry no time to read all post just to have a me moan...

cant rememebr who said re DD/DS only going to bed at 9pm same here, for interest what time do they start they day?