Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

helips big hooray on the sleep front am not at all .... yeah right!

BBL great news on the jeans. Am back at my pre-preg weight but could do with losing some more so still a way to go, although at least my old clothes fit now.

pav annoying re the period. Maybe it's a one off as you've been irritated as it were by the coil going in?

Laugs glad James is ok and good on you for hanging in there with the bf. Take it a day at a time and see how you go. 8 weeks is a good stint already

Interview seemed to go well so am pleased with my performance, couldn't have done any more. Am now shattered! Maybe using my brain has worn me out!

hobnob sorry to hear you're having such trouble with Isla settling, it is so exhausting when they cry constantly (we have spells of that here) and when they are attached to you constantly. A routine may help a little as you and she will then know what to expect, although I guess if there are problems around feeding/reflux/mucous then it might be harder to instigate. What does your HV say? Any help at all?

Re blinds, if you have a recess then I personally think they look nicer in the recess, plus you'll block all the light out that way. Personal choice though!

oh scarlotti well done, fingers x for you. just a quickie got cakes in, am feeding and typing one fingered, meant to be looking up royal icing....any ideas how to make without using raw eggs?

oooooooh ffs .fairy cakes are ruined . i used plain instead of self raising and forgot the baking powder, and i forgot to put the milk in. i was watching them wondering they were taking so long to go golden, took them out after i remembered the milk (20 mins) and are burnt on the bottom and pale on top. disaster! that'll teach me to not take phone off the hook (not that i answered but it disrupted my flow!) or let dh go out when i want some me time as i did the mixing with one hand . Not sure if i will do them again, or make DH eat them all .

I was practicing making perfect cakes, and they are the worst i have ever made!

Laugs well done with carrying on the breastfeeding, it will get easier as time goes on. Hopefully you'll heal quickly and James will start to feed less but hats off for continuing when its been so tough.

scarlotti glad the interview went well, fingers crossed you get some good news in a few days! Did your dh cope alright with the kids?!

Hobnob Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time of it, hopefully Isla will settle into a routine soon so you can have more time for you. Is she not happy to suck on a dummy rather than on you? Can you take her out in the pram and once she is asleep leave her in there and put your feet up for a bit?

pav Oh no, unlucky getting a period so soon, not fair! Could it be a reaction to the coil rather than a period? At the mo we are using condoms and am unsure about contraception long term. I don't want to go on the pill as it has made me ill in the past but a bit nervous about the coil. Did it hurt to get fitted?

This was meant to be a quick post as i'm typing one handed, it's taken me forever!

Oh Pav how annoying, I say get dh to eat them

Well done Scarlotti. When do you find out?

Hobnob Poor you, that sounds unbelievably tiring. Does she not even sleep after she's fed? Can you get someone to help out on the days that DH is away? I agree it's probably a good time to try and get her to self-settle. I'm lucky () because DH goes to sleep on the sofa most nights, so at least for the feeds in the early hours (before he rocks up acting like it is his bed after all) I can put James down and allow him to grizzle a bit before he goes to sleep by himself. It doesn't normally turn into a cry and if it does I obviously pick him up, but I think it's quite good to let him calm himself if he can. I never did this with DD so I'm just learning it too. My instinct was to pick him straight away, but then I realised that he wasn't actually upset, just a bit whingey.

Pavlov Can you just cut the bottom off? I'd probably eat them anyway, but I am a pig . Speaking of which, we went to a cafe today and DD was asking for a cake. I said no and she said, "But I want a big fat tummy like yours" I did my best to turn a blind eye.

Claire I am not a very routine-y sort of person, but I think it's perfectly fine for him to have a late bedtime. If he's doing 6 hour sleeps, there's no harm in appreciating that those 6 hours are the ones you'd most like to be asleep too. There does come a point when you need a bit of space for you and DP in the evening, but if he's not hugely demanding of your attention at the moment, so you can actually relax between feeds, watch a bit of tv, read a book etc, then I'd choose to have him awake in the evening and asleep at night. Also, it's a lot more fun to have a content baby sitting on the sofa between mummy and daddy than a screaming baby in the bedroom who has to be seen to every ten minutes. Anything for an easy life, that's me

Oh and I'm not sure if I'm the only one who doesn't do a set bedtime routine? I know I was in a baby group I went to with DD. I don't see any reason not to do one, it's just I could never seem to squeeze it all in. Anyway, just wanted to say that it's not the end of the world if you don't. I don't do baths every night (am I really dirty? I don't think they need it every night and they really dry DD's skin), though I do read stories and make sure the TV's off a bit before bed. I think they pick up on the fact that it's evening anyway, from the change of pace. And the dark.

laugs i am pleased that things are good with James, and nothing to worry about but that the bf'ing is still causing you so much pain. You have done so brilliantly to get to here with the suffering you have endured, if you decide to change to bottles that is perfectly fine, you know that don't you ?

I am with you with the bathing. I do not bath Reuben daily, probably once a week? Not even that sometimes...does that make me dirtier than you? Or Reuben dirtier than James ? . Like you, no point unless you really like it as part of the bedtme routine, which lots of people do. for me, its one more thing to do with him and DD before her bedtime which i can do without. But he does like it so i should do it more often. And i do not use product, just water. Apart from once, i used some stuff in a blue and white bottle for babies (can't remember what it is called), for a few bubbles, and that was mostly for DDs benefit . We don't really have an evening routine either. I will go through the motions of changing him 'ready for bed' at about 7:30pm with DD, and then at 11pm or so, when it is bedtime i will change his nappy and put on his grobag, if not before (he has it on now), but that is it. He gets stories with DD at 7:15pm. I am like you, i like to just go with it, but not sure how well that will work out with 2!

hobnob you poor thing. You must be exhausted. Have a very unMN .

fruit well done on surviving 5 days without your DH! I can just about cope with an afternoon on my own without burning the house down, and DD was not even here!

Ursi when does your DH go away for his boys weekend? Or was that the weekend just gone?

longwayaway was it your DH going skiiing next week? Can't remember...some friends are going next week too, to switzerland i think, but can't remember. We are thinking of it next year as DD will be 4.5 so a good age.

Aw man, I can't take this. I've been sat in this chair feeding her all day. when I've had to stop to cook tea or hoover up after the plumber, she has screamed. She is SOOOO tired. So am I. But whenever I put her down she just screams and farts. And screams. And doesn't stop. It's getting to the point where I just want to leave her because holding her doesn't help things. And she is so heavy my back is broken from jigging her up and down. And she's too rigid for massage. And I've tried bathing her when she's like this before and she stops as soon as she hears the bath taps, is all smiles and joy and more farts until I get her dressed again and we're back to square 1.

laugs, I don't do a set routine yet either. I have been known to miss the time to change Lucy out of her day clothes on occasion - following the 'let sleeping babies lie' rule. Slummy mummy that I am... She doesn't have a bath every day. To be honest I sometimes catch myself with no time for it when she doesn't sleep well in the day and finally goes off in the evening. I would like to do a routine of bath, story, feed when she's older, though.

oh, hobnob, I feel so sorry for you, poor thing. Poor Isla, too. Does she go in a sling - would it be more comfortable for you to carry her? Have the gp or hv been any help at all? Would taking her out for a drive or a walk outside help (I know not doable tonight, but during the day)? It is heartbreaking when they suffer. Big hug, xx.

laugs, pavlov I've started taking Lucy in with me when I have a bath. Don't use any product either. DH passes her to me, she sits on my thighs with her legs resting on my chest and her head on my knees. She seems to like it and I only got weed on once

Thanks Skorpion. A sling or a walk in the pram do usually settle her during the day (whan DD1 isn't napping) but it's the evenings which are getting me. I want to go to bed. Without feeling like a dummy. And feeling guilty because DH is trying to calm her down and has a 4am taxi booked to the airport.

Usually I'm ok about cosleeping when feeding is resembling normal. But when it has been relentless during the day I'm physically averse to it at night. It's weird, I never would have thought it of myself.

hobnob I really feel for you... I may be suggesting really obvious things that you've tried already but try rubbing her tummy in clockwise circles with a fair bit of pressure or lying her down, holding her legs and pushing them up to bend with her knees on her chest and circling her legs outwards, this can help get farts out, though by the sounds of things she might not need help with that!!

hobnob I hope it all calmed down and you got some sleep without being a human dummy. Perfectly reasonable that you don't want to be used like that all day and night!

pavlov, skorpion we use a little bit of shampoo on James' hair as it gets very greasy. He has a lot of hair - in fact, a mullet . He likes baths too, so I should do it more. It's usually just a dunk in while DD is in the bath, or slightly longer with DH. It's a lot easier than lugging out the baby bath, and friendlier too

Last night was AWFUL. James was feeding for a loooong time on the right side (very sore), I was expressing from the left - and then I dropped the pot of all the milk I'd expressed that evening! He came off looking for more milk, so I had to offer the cracked left side which had been nearly drained of milk anyway - cue another 2 hours of feeding from two sore nipples and waking every two hours in the night...
Skorpion are you still expressing or is Lucy back on the breast now? I feel like I need a Plan and am thinking of doing what you did and offering expressed milk with a top-up of formula. Did you feel like your supply remained ok?

Oh, and I don't change James out of his day clothes for bed - I stick a Grobag on top of his sleepsuit, then put on fresh clothes in the morning.

Oh Laugs, there's nothing more frustrating than spending all that time expressing only to drop it on the floor.
Hope it gets easier for you soon and you manage to catch up on your sleep too.

We've moved to a formula bottle at 10pm now as it seems to buy an extra hours sleep. Ioan now wakes at 4am, although I think last night I put him back down before he was fully satisfied and then he harrumphed for a while - I really should learn my lesson as I don't get any more sleep that way!

He's also started to space out his feeds more which I'm finding confusing. Just as I had worked out his rough routine during the day, he goes and changes it!

aw laugs* how upsetting! I have spilt an oz before, the bag tipped over, and I was horrified just watching it slip away, it must have been devestating for the whole lot to go. I don't always change the dayclothes either if i am honest. I try to, but only as to go through the motions with DD (helps her settle if she thinks he is too) but not always so you are not alone honestly!

hobnob you poor love, your poor little one, how hard for you both. It is ok to leave her if you feel like that, for 5-10 mins. In might help if you do that occasionally in fact, just to give you some 'aaaaah' time. Honestly i remember that with DD who was like it every evening for a few weeks (not the same i know). As long as you know she is safe in her moses basket/cot/bouncy chair, shut the door, and go into another room far away so you cannot hear her. Put the kettle on, make a drink, take a few sips and go back (i would say drink the whole thing but likely you will not be entirely relaxed!).

Reuben has been fussing since yesterday. Is there a 9wk growth spurt? He wants to be held all the time, has done several poos, which seem ok but i was using pampers which have a green lining so really hard to be sure! He cries in distress when i put him down, and wants to feed feed feed. Although last night he just wanted me to lie him down and play with him and he was fine! He slept from 11:30pm til 3:45am, and has been fussing ever since. He is now flaked on the bed, after I left him to cry as I needed a cup of coffee but it was not his normal tired cry, it was an upset cry and he keeps waking from the sleep, it is not a relaxed sleep. I am wondering if he has a slight tummy ache? . I might try some of the tips too!

DH kindly offered to get up with him this morning at 4:30am. How lovely of him eh? Until I said 'you do know it is 4:30am and he rolled over and said nothing more! Then he got up at 6am (but it was actually 6:30am) but could not settle him and in fact he cried harder after being stuffed int the rocker. DD was lovely though, she came and stood at the top of her stairs and said 'is everything ok down there?' all concerned!

So, there are a few tired bunnies on here today!

I shall be posting some long due photos of Reuben and Bella on facebook today, so keep an eye out!

laugs how frustrating! I managed to once throw away 90ml of my milk thinking it was old formula...
As for expressing, I found it brilliant: healed OK, although it took three weeks at least. In that time I did not put her to the breast (apart from a couple of times when I couldn't resist having watched a lovely video of a suckling baby on the net - and boy, did I suffer for my impatience). If you just express the pressure on the nipple is nowhere near as bad as the baby so it doesn't hurt as much. I also found wearing breast shells helped - creating space between the nipple and the pad/bra. Started using kamillosan as well. And for the supply - I get huge these days (my right one keeps attacking Lucy full in the face ) and manage to squirt the stuff all over the place if I'm not careful
I found that it took me half an hour to feed her a bottle and then another half an hour to express which is much shorter to how long it took her to feed. Have started to mostly put her on now, with expressing maybe twice in the day, and it does not hurt as much at all. Just a bit sometimes, but giving it a break and expressing instead helps. I always have at least one bottle in the fridge if I need it. As for formula - I felt really bad giving it the first couple of times. But it did do a good job filling her up and letting me sort of 'manage' my supply with the pump. And the sight of a full baby happily falling asleep made it worth it.

Sorry it's such a mammoth post. I really believe that this has helped me a lot - I would have stopped ages ago. I hope you can work out a plan to get you through the rough patch. Good luck!

Anyone's baby love having their bums changed? Reuben gets very excited as soon as the poppers are started on his sleepsuit! It usually stops him from crying if upset, he wiggles and chats and is calm and smiley afterwards...i knew he liked it, but this time it was so obvious...til DH turned him over for some 'tummy time' then he got upset..

oh hobnob, you poor thing. I don't think I can suggest anything revolutionary that hasn't already been said but am thinking of you and wishing you had a good night.

Day/Night clothes? What are they? Another 'go with their routine' mummy here! We have a bath every 2-3 days, depending what we're up to/if Rosa has fallen asleep early. My friend who's into the Gina routine just seems to be worrying all the time about her not sleeping/feeding/pooing at the 'right times'...sounds crazy to me, but then I do feel fortunate to have a fairly chilled out baby. She has her days but on the whole we've been lucky.

scarlotti I so know what you mean about learning the lesson of not putting them down too early. Everytime I've gone against my better judgement, about anything - delaying feeding when friend wants to get going, putting down too early in night, trying to keep awake for visitors ...anything, I have always cursed myself. I resolved to just go with what I thought was the right thing to do at the time for her, and it has paid off so much. Still sometimes guilty of deluding myself in the night 'oh, she's dropped off! Back in the cot!' cue crying 2 mins later and back out of the cot onto the boob...!

hobnob, I hope things have improved for you overnight. The good times with wee ones are great, but the bad days are AWFUL.

I don't bathe the baby every day, but that's because DS 1 had bad eczema at this age (and still gets it from time to time) and the daily baths I was diligently giving him were making it WORSE. I had to switch to Burt's Bees nappy cream and Lush Dream Cream and only bathe him every few days to give his poor skin a chance to recover. No sign of eczema with this one, but I suppose that I learnt to be lazy with my first! I also confess that I only bother to change his clothes when he's thrown up on them recently or I notice he's a bit whiffy (again, a legacy from DS 1's infancy when he would copiously vomit on five outfits a day...)

So - erm - do I win the lazy mummy prize?!

I find that at the newborn age, it's best to go with the flow; at their current age, it's a good idea to just pop them down for a nap every ninety minutes to two hours after they last woke; however, in a few months' time I expect Arthur will have adopted a strict schedule just like his older brother and object just as violently to me messing with it as his brother does. I always thought prior to having children that I'd be an easy-going unscheduled sort of mother, but then I found that my one year old became a hell-child if his lunch or his nap were even fifteen minutes late (and among toddlers, he doesn't seem that unusual). I am now the sort of mother who turns down invitations if they clash with the Sacred Naptime.

Going back a few pages, I am very envious of anyone who can climb back into their old pre-pregnancy kit. I don't know why I didn't get the bounce-back-immediately genes, and I think I am going to put in a formal complaint about it, dammit.

Hello all,

Laugs am so sorry about the milk, i remember when Charlotte didn't drink any and I'd have to tip it away. It broke my heart. I hope you're relaxing about BF..you've done amazingly well so far, cracked nipples and all. You should be so proud of yourself. Lots would have given up. I really miss it and if i could i would go back to it but selfishly so. Charlotte is better off on formula and throws up very very infrequently when I forget to put any thickener in her milk..

Hobnob I hope the bad days are over..i re read DD1's diary all the time and i had so many bad days like that..still do with Charlotte but she's far more content than DD1 ever was. Here's hoping for a decent night.

Scarlotti glad the pump arrived and masses of luck for the job!! hooray.

PAv we're having a 9 week spurt..i think there is one you know..(I think the dreaded GF says so )

Tamlin am with you..no one messes with naptime..i have a hellish child in my hands otherwise.

Does anyone find they spend ages getting their lo's to bed at 7-8pm?? I have to rock her for ages and getting quite bored of it. We do have a routine but not set in stone and i have to bathe her because she loves it and kicks so hard I'm sure it tires her out and gets her ready to sleep (sometimes too early to finish her milk )..I had a blissful week of good sleep during the night only for her to catch DD's cold..sigh..

Went to the gyno today to get checked out..very very invasive and I've started to bleed..also got a coil put in. My first time so lets see how it goes.

hi all,

sleep going well here, seems like both my kids love their sleep at the moment which is really nice for mummy!

Just had a nightmare with ds, went for Annabelle's 8 week check at 11 weeks and she was perfectly good, smiley and a happy baby, whilst ds ran round screaming and throwing things in the dr's direction. he even smacked her bum which i was very shocked at as he doesnt normally do that. The dr said not to worry about it. I was embarrassed at his behaviour but more embarrassed that I couldnt control him. am going to have to up my game some how, dont want any more of that behaviour and especially not in public.

Trikken, your ds smacked Annabelle or the doctor?!

If it's any comfort, my DS 1 was a nightmare at about that stage, and I got told repeatedly by other mothers that a lot of them act up when the baby is seven weeks old or so and they realize that he or she isn't going anywhere - and is here for good.