Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

BBL in about a week you should begin to feel more like 'you' again- I'd echo Ninja, and everyone else- going on ads is no failing and illnesses of mind are as real and debilitating as illnesses of the body- you'd get painkillers for physical pain, what's the difference?
When I had depression several years ago the most amazing and capable woman I know (my grandmother) said that she had once taken her three young children out and then literally could not drive them home, she sat in the car unable to move for an hour, sobbing. I was amazed, I had thought she would never understand depression/ anxiety in a million years. She is the strongest person I know, yet had been 'there'- in the pits of anxiety/depression. She said that the doctor had given her a "simply marvellous drug- valium or something, it just made everything better!! Can you get some of that darling?" That was in the early 1950s , so the strains of motherhood haven't changed, but the drugs have improved

Scarlotti you are so wise, you said exactly what the health visitor said- she also said that I should make lists and be more systematic, and only try to do one thing a day as opposed to ten or more. But like you Laugs I am an Aries and the wanting to do 100 things at once comes a bit from that I think- as does the short temper! but I think I have to take more responsibility for that, count to ten more and go to bed much earlier.

I am going to cheer myself up and go to see Nowhere Boy at the cinema tomorrow, it's a Big Scream showing

Sassmonkey Hedy conks out the minute I put her in her snowsuit, amazing. Must be the snuggliness.

Erika I may try the singing when no one is around! Have you told your mum that her comments are unhelpful? Just remember what a strong goddess you are in that beautiful photo of you feeding her!

skorpion I've had days of just expressing, but it basically takes the entire day to get enough for him, and even then it never seems to be enough anyway. Are you using a pump? I have a manual one but am more efficient with my hand. I agree it's less painful though.

The thrush symptoms can vary I think. James had white patches/ deposits inside his mouth (mostly in lower lip and inside cheeks) example pics here. It took me a while to realise it wasn't milk. I think you can have it without the baby showing symptoms though. My whole nipple area went red and slightly raised, but that was a few days after the pain started. I have alternating burning and itching on surface of nipple, shooting pains inside the breast, and also pain after the feed and vasospasm, both of which are significant signs it could be thrush I think. All in all, pretty miserable! Hope you get sorted soon.

Wook thanks so much for your kind words. My mum also told me she'd had valium when my sister was born (she had a 14 month old and a newborn) and said she'd sat on the stairs and sobbed her eyes out listening to them both crying.

I'm going to just take each day as it comes right now. I've got a sleeping tablet to take tonight just so I get a good night's sleep and then face the next day, and the next as they come. I seem to go from feeling desperate and jittery, really anxious and scared, to feeling quite calm and ok. It is the DSs, all three of them, and DH and my friends at school which are keeping me going right now. I've never, ever felt quite like this before. I hope I feel better soon and can enjoy my boys again. Poor DH putting up with me. He's been a rock. I feel so incredibly guilty about this.

Thanks for listening to me everyone

Well it?s been a bit of a day .. Sorry I?ve not properly caught up on the posts and there is a lot to read! I?m glad it?s not just my baby that had a bad night last night, and a bad day today. We give him a top up of formula last thing at night, which was buying me a little sleep time before the feeding marathon begins in the early hours. The last 2 nights, It appears the formula or bottle (maybe both!) are giving him griping pains and this is causing lots of sleepless hours, not sure why its only happening now as we?re a few weeks down the line with the top-up. I fed the bottle last night(normlly DHs job but he's away) and he was extremely agitated after the feed. I couldn?t get any wind out of him and he just wanted to be put down and go to sleep. He was making lots of noises of discomfort. That was the beginning of a very long night. No wind came up until mid morning today. He also had 3 messy nappies in a row. He didn?t want to sleep all morning and it?s been touch and go with his naps this afternoon. I?m not feeding him his top up tonight and I?m hoping he will feel better for it. Also we're using infacol.

I feel a bit guilty, as I?ve put DS1 to bed at 6.30 tonight, an hour early! I?m so glad he can?t read the time yet. He has driven me bonkers today and I just needed the break. I?m hoping this doesn?t mean he?ll be getting up early in the morning

I'm off to try and catch up with the posts. I might be falling asleep very soon tonight!

Hello ladies.
Alfie thinks sleep is for the weak and the ninjakitten will not be defeated.

Venus he was 10lb 15oz at birth. He is indeed now in his 3-6mnts clothes and we have masses of unworn now too small outfits . I think I just grow big babies. My ds1 who is 12 is 5ft 10in with size 11 feet so have given up on the idea I might ever have a cute little newborn rather than a big old toddler.

Sass poor you getting so ill with a week old baby. I feel a lot more able to cope now than I would have three weeks ago. I sympathise with the mastitis too. I had a really nasty bout before christmas. I never knew it could be that bad, I was shivering uncontrollably, my temp shot up and dp almost called an ambulance. Luckily dr came out and gave me ab's. Not nice at all. Hope you are all mended now.

Morning all and Happy New Year! I've had loads to catch up on as had to internet over Christmas .

Christmas was different this year, not only because of 2 dcs, but also we were staying with the inlaws. Mil drove me mad telling me how to look after my children. I could go on forever about things she said but it'll just get me worked up. However, just to give you a little taste of what she's like, one of her comments to me was "I must admit, I was a bit concerned when I noticed DS1 had been wearing the same shoes for 3 months". WTF??!! She was suggesting that we were neglecting ds1 and that his shoes didn't fit him properly! I have his feet measured regularly and really felt like slapping her And breathe.
Needless to say, we're all glad to be home and will not be spending that length of time in each other's company again!

BBL big hugs, be kind to yourself.

Ninja my stitches also split after 2 weeks. It was pretty disgusting as they literally burst open with a foul smelling pus (sorry tmi!). I really panicked but anti bi's cleared it up. Recovering from a cs is hard enough without that set back! I hope you're feeling better soon

Erika it's horrible when babies do the projectile vom thing. My ds did it quite alot and he was formula fed, so I don't think it's anything to do with yourbf. You know what's right for Bryn and ,like Pav said, there is no way you woudl sleep through it. Your senses will be heightened because you are worried about him.

Well, I had both dc's by myself for the first time on Monday. How stressful! Ds1 (2yo) is so demanding of attention it was really difficult. By the time dh got home, the house looked like a bomb had hit it, we were all still in our pyjamas and I was ready to collapse! i'm sure it'll get easier once we get into a routine (ha! routine!).

For those of you with 2 dcs or more, how do you manage to get out of the house? Which dc do you put in the car first etc?

Thanks Wook thats sweet of you

Laugs thanks for the information about thrush, sounds rather similar to how my nipples are feeling right now.

Bryn slept in his cot for the first time last night. He'd totally out grown his Moses basket. He now looks tiny!

Has anyone used beansprog.com? I just some feeding tops and bras - total bargain items, saved me a fortune

Snowed in again here..!!!

BBL how was your night last night? Hope you managed to get some more sleep
You are not alone, 1 in 10 women suffer pnd so it's far more common than people think.
Ask your hv also about any counselling on offer, it's free and I found it a great help when I wanted to come of the ad's.

lemontop we're about to start a routine here too. He's fallen into one of his own accord but stays up until 10 with us. Going to try and start having a bedtime from tonight so I might get my evenings free again.
Bless him with his first tooth - I remember with DS1 the teething stage came quite early and seemed to upset any routine we did have and make my happy boy miserable. Hugs to you.

Ursi Ioan is havaing his jabs at 9 weeks purely as the clinic the week before was full. It doesn't matter as the subsequent appointments will be scheduled from the first in terms of time.
These are really important immunisations. They cover the really awful diseases that are very dangerous to newborns so I'd think long and hard before refusing them.
The level of mercury iun jabs is less than in tuna - and we were allowed 2 portions of tuna a week when pg, so that's nothing to worry about.
If you're really against them go and speak to your hv or gp. the autism worry was to do with the MMR jab which comes at 12 months, this link has now been disproved so again you should get that jab. Many children are now getting measles as they didn't get that jab and it's making them very ill.
Measles can be fatal in very small children if it's a violent case.

Trikken we've been invited for H1N1 jab for DS(4) too. I'm going to go for it I think as it will help protect DS2 by stopping the most likely carrier in the family from bringing it in.
It's not a live virus and is based on the same base ingredients as the flu vaccine, which has been safely used for years. Personal decision obviously but I'd be terrified if DS2 caught it as there's no way he could fight it off.

Erika how is Bryn doing today? Have you tried the opposite to calm him if the swinging/rocking etc. isn't working? It might be over stimulation so one option is to find a white wall and just hold him looking at it. Ioan likes to nestle into the crook of my arm when I've got my whilte dressing gown on when he's over stimulated.
All he can see then is white, and I take him where there's no noise. Settles him quite quickly. Might be another trick to add to your arsenal!

Laugs if he's not sleeping in the day and then too tired to sleep at night, can you take a few days to sort the daytime naps? If it means you sit on the sofa then so be it (get a good box set )
You might find that more sleep in the day makes him better rested for night sleep, and you can always fix the issue of where he sleeps next week. I tend to focus on one aspect to change at a time, knowing there's always the following week to sort any bad habit I might have inadvertantly created.

Venus disliking your baby at times is perfectly normal. I remember with DD, she didn't sleep that well and kept waking up so I'd find myself up rocking her off to sleep for hours during the night. Sometimes the rocking would become more vigorous as I stood there with clenched teeth willing the child to sleep.
I also had times where I'd put her back in her cot screaming, and go to the end of the garden so I could calm down - was a single parent so no DP to take a turn. Babies don't remember thankfully!

Sass I'd say a snowsuit is no different to a grobag or a fleece - if he'll sleep in it then go for it! No safety issues I can see other than overheating, but if it's undone and he has no other blankets then it will be fine. If you were on a long car trip he'd be in it for a good long while and you'd not think about it.

hobnob house bound here due to snow with a Ds1 that's climbing the walls too! Good that you got to keep your appointment at the hospital though and hope you're getting better.

skorpion those pains in your breast sound like what i had a few weeks back. Doc said it wasn't thrush but an early form of mastitis. I just fed a lot from that side and massaged the breast when I did. Cleared it up ok after a few days but keep an eye on it.

wook enjoy your film the other thing I thought for our lists (to make us feel we're achieving more) is to add on things like get baby dressed, have a shower. That way our list accurately reflects the whole day and not just the one extra job we managed to do.
I find it very difficult to resolve the me I am now with the career woman of 6 months ago who got lots of things done easily. You are not alone on this one.##

Fruit ha ha, we change the clock in DS1's bedroom sometimes to make bed time or wake up time nearer what we want then what he wants!!
Hope the winding is getting easier, did missing the top up help at all?

TOK good to see you again, sorry your mil was a pita! My DS1 can stay in one size of shoes for 6 months so I wonder what she'd have to say about that!!
For the car, I get DS2 (baby) into his seat and all strapped up, then get DS1 into his coat. Take both of them out to the car, car seat over crook of one arm and toddler holding my hand.
Go to toddler's side, put car seat on floor, strap toddler in, then go and put car seat in.
I've also been known to leave the baby in the car in his seat if I have to take DS1 in first, or back for a wee or something. I lock the car then.

Hope I've managed to catch up with everyone trying Erika's trick of using notepad while I read your posts!!

Going to start bedtime tonight as am sure he's unsettled in the evening as he's napping down here while we watch tv etc.
Snow has closed nursery and schools here so stuck indoors again with both DS', DD wants to head out with her friends so my back up has gone. DH working from home upstairs so can't even let DS1 run around in his room

Any suggestions for things to do with DS1 that are baby feeding friendly?

scarlotti I hope you're adding 'advise mums on mumsnet' to your to do list! Thanks for the suggestions re James' sleeping. Actually last night was MUCH better. He still fed 10, 12, 2, 5.30 and 8, but went straight to sleep after the 2 and 5.30 feeds rather than needing to be held for hours, which was the hard bit. It's amazing how grateful you can be for a bit of sleep - I kept waking up to check it was real!
Can you give DS1 some craft activity to do? DD managed to entertain herself for about two hours yesterday when I couldn't put James down by decorating an old cereal box for her daddy to take to work

bbl and fruitpastels hope you slept ok? fruit when DH had college two nights a week I would often put DD to bed an hour early and she never noticed and normally slept until the same time (she's 3). It does feel a bit manipulative but so worth it!

hobnob you must be going mad stuck in all the time! Is DD off nursery during your maternity leave? Do you have a Sure Start near you? Ours does a thing called Toddler Break which is for 1.5 hours twice a week.

I think I could manage that scarlotti, I need to be able to get out of the house! (when this snow eventually goes that is!)

We are trying to get Anya into a kind of bedtime routine too. I'd like to get her bathed every night as part of it, but she normally doesn't wake until after ds is in bed and we don't want to risk waking him. We have been putting her up into her moses basket around 8ish for the past 2 nights as I found she couldn't sleep properly in the living room with us. Too much stimulation. It has worked and, after a feed at half 12 last night, she slept til 7. The night before she fed at 11 and slept til 5, so not bad going really.

I put the older DCs in the car first, strap them down, get screaming baby next, strap him in, and then drive fast!!! Breath. Put on favourite CD really loud! Breath again!

I had a better night's sleep last night, albeit chemically induced with a tablet, but I'm not going to take any more as I don't like the side effects (yucky taste in my mouth). DH tells me I got up to Toby in the night when he cried but I have no memory of this at all!!! I'm going to take each day as it comes right now. Try to relax as much as I can at bed time and think of ways to relax me better. Feel ok so far today, a bit shakey: doing the school run is a great tonic actually. Over Christmas when we were just at home all the time was just awful I think now looking back.

We are going to buy a new cot for Toby. He does look a bit big for his basket too.

I think the change from career women to mothers must have an effect on us to varying degrees, it is an interesting issue. When I was pregnant I was running around like a headless chicken, working really hard, working most evenings as well as bits in the day, coping with feeling like crap, nausea, etc, looking after the DSs so in effect much busier than I am now yet I was coping brilliantly. I was thriving on the stress. This is why I am so confused right now why I appear to be unravelling at the seams when life is less hectic? Babies are very hard, emotionally and physically, but intellectually there is nothing there really. Perhaps that is it? But on the other hand, I can't even read a book at the moment!

BBL I totally agree. I actually find a 'stressful' life much easier. I like deadlines, and the thrill (that's not the right word, but my brain has melted) of only just meeting them. I'm not good with days that stretch endlessly ahead of me and nothing specific that needs to be done (somehow housework never fits in that category for me). If a day doesn't have some kind of event in it, I feel a bit lost and foggy and like it might all collapse around me. I think that's why when I had DD I went into town pretty much every day for the first 2 months, and why now I feel like I have to take them to some kind of group every day. It's probably a bit mad, but it does help me I think. There's also a lot to be said for going out for a bit of fresh air when DH gets home in the evening. I haven't done that yet this time but think I will start. I remember it being really liberating last time.

Has anyone heard of the No Diet Diet? I got it free with a newspaper a couple of years ago. Being me, I only did the first week of it, but it was all about breaking habits and each day had a little challenge in it eg. go out for a walk or paint a picture or read a book you would never normally read: basically just do something that you wouldn't normally do. I'm not really bothered about dieting at the moment, but I think I might try it for adding an element of selfish interest to the day in a way that's not going to affect anyone else.

4 hours!! middnight to 4:45am, but i think he was fussing, fidgeting, looking at the book i put in his moses basket (starting him early ). And yes, he slept in his moses basket! We had left a blanket at a friend's, and she brought it back, and I swaddled him in it. I had thought i liked it before, but now realise, it is the only blanket he has slept in well while in his moses basket, bit young for favourites? clearly not! Then, at4:45am, he had a feed, a cough, was sick and coughed for a long time, then back to sleep, DD got up, he slept through, i kicked DH out of bed with her (probably about 7am?) and then slept for another hour, then Reuben woke and we fed/dozed til 10am! lovely!

On the other hand DH is being really off with me. He insulted me yesterday, and I keep telling him not to call me a nutcase/crazy/losing the plot/harpy/moaner or whatever, even in jest, and he called me a nutcase because I complained in half jest at him messing the kitchen up which was tidy. So. I told him to fuck off. Not clever, not my usual response but i had had enough of it and wanted him to see how upset it was making me. But, not surprisingly, he told me to fuck off back, and then went into a major one, calling me selfish andungrateful as he was cooking for us (but had actually taken over when I was already cooking). That was since yesterday and he is being very hostile but worse, he is being really grumpy with DD, not her fault. I just do not want another argument. I am sick of it. One part of me says to say sorry and make peace, but the other says if i do that, he will just continue to make comments that I do not like. He does not realise he does it, but he won't accept me asking him not to, he says I am too sensitive. Maybe so. Would not mind if he also said off the cuff comments about the nice things about me. Not feeling very loved. Sorry that was such a moan. I guess that is why he calls me a moaner/harpy.

Pavlov yeah on the sleep in the basket. Boo to the unreasonable comments and grumpyness from your DH. Even if you are too sensitive (which I don't think you are being) you are allowed to be you've just had a baby!

BBL no apparantly not. I have to consider his feelings at all times. I am sick of his grumpiness. I want him to get a bloody job. Not for the money as I have figured we won't b getting amy, and our finances (or lack of) are based on that for next couple months. I just want him out of my hair. I want to stop having a bloody grumpy moody man around. He does loads, but clearly he is not happy doing it. And if i say he is not treating me right, he will say 'did i not bring you toast in bed? make you a coffee? give you a lie in? make dinner?' but i don't want any of that if its with this attitude and to have it chucked back at me in an argument. I want him to speak nicely to me, and if I say that he says 'you don't talk nicely to me'

Anyway much more importantly. How did you sleep last night? Did the sleeping tablet work at all? I hope you had a little more sleep than you have been getting at least.

pavlov did you say he used to do marketing for a charity (or did I make that up?). Maybe he could offer his services on a voluntary basis to a charity that couldn't normally afford marketing, just one day a week, to keep his hand in and get out of the house? It's understandable you're both getting fed up with him being out of work. Obviously if I made his old job up that isn't very helpful!

My DH also feels free to make negative comments in jest. I wouldn't mind a few positive ones either - even in jest!

laugs he has a pr/marketing degree, and worked for a charity/voluntary sector doing admin/coordinating volunteers, so you were right, about both, but not together, good on you for the memory i am impressed.

We have talked about voluntary work, and also about him taking any work that comes along, for a day a week even, bring in £50 a week, better than a kick up the arse, he will feel he is contributing something, gets him out of the house, and then some voluntary work til he gets a full time job. The other alternative is him going back to college to do something. I really do not care right now, just something to get him back on track would be nice. Problem is, i am being grumpy back, and because I have just had a baby, he has turned it around to being me/hormones blah blah, he said last week 'your behaviour is not right, i think you need to see someone' because i got upset in an argument? only took him 4 weeks to pull that one on me. But its only the first week into the new year, I don't want to go steaming in there with the 'harpy' thing already. I will live up to my reputation next week.

Its hard though isn't it, the negative comments, especially now, when we are already feeling sensitive, have had bodily changes, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, a new baby to test our abilities. I know its how he is, but it would also be nice to get the odd arm around me, squeeze and say something to make me feel good, for no apparant reason, not to cheer me up after an argument, or if he thinks i feel he is not supportive, but for no reason, like the sarcy comments (which i often think are more serious than they come out)

bbl glad you managed to get a good nights sleep last night, hope the ad's kick in soon and that you start to feel better.

ursi I am taking Millie for her injections tomorrow (dreading it) and she will be 10 weeks on Sunday (where doed the time go?!) It will be 2 weeks late because of Christmas and Nrw Year but it doesn't matter. If I remember correctly I was always late having ds' done too!

Lots of snow here still. Was meant to be visiting a friend a half an hours drive away but had to cancel. I was really looking forward to it too as haven't seen her for ages and she has just found out she is pregnant again so was looking forward to a good old gossip, oh well.
(whispers) Millie has been sleeping through the night for the past week, from about 11.00pmish to around 6am, but I still feel tired! Mind you, ds was up at 5.15am this morning but is having a nap now so I am putting my feet up! Millie has slept all morning and is over due a feed but can't be arsed to wake her! She'll wake when she is hungry!

Oh, she's just woken, better run! Hope everyone else is ok, pav your dh is out of order, hope he realises this soon and makes it up to you...

Damn, half of my post is missing! hate it when that happens, will try to post later though as millie now on boob and im typing one handed!

I'm sure charities would be biting his hand off at the moment if he were to volunteer. It'd also give him something to focus on. Maybe he's feeling a bit redundant around the house now you are at home too? Or he could do OU and then wouldn't have to wait til September to start?

Our DHs share the same birthday, I wonder if they're similar? I don't think mine will ever be the super sensitive type. He reckons it's what he does, not what he says, that counts ie anyone can say they love you, only someone who does love you will act like they do. But words still count to me. I don't think he'll ever change though!

helips well done on Mille sleeping through Anyone told you recently what a lovely name that is ? . DH won't make it up to me, he does not think he has done anything wrong. The only way this will be sorted is to 'talk' about it, which will mean an argument. He is sulking as he is pee'd off i told him to fuck off. Its ok for him to say 'fuck you', as he did last week, and it was absolutely not ok for me to be upset about that, not at all, he was justified, but apparantly that was different (FWIW, i never usually tell DH to fuck off, or say fuck you or anything like that. If it is ever said, it means I am really bloody upset/pissed off).

I feel the hugs folks, thank you for being so kind when the chips are down.
Big hugs to you BBL...You're in my thoughts. I hope the dark days are over soon.

Laugs why is feeding so painful..is it the boob or the nipple? can u have mastitis or something like that. Get it checked out would be the first step. please don't cry or you'll get me started again...

Is anyone's baby not sleeping in the eves? She just doesn't sleep between 6 and 11!????WHY???