Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

Pav your dh is being very unreasonable. It must be driving you both mad being stuck at home. I know my dh and I would be at each other's throats if we spent every day together.

I know this sounds cheesy, but if you feel you have things to say and don't want it to end in an argument, why not try writing it down? Then dh can go and read it on his own without any distractions, just tell him about how you are feeling, not only about what he says/does, but about how having a newborn is affecting how you feel etc. Does that sound a bit ott? Just a thought xxx

BBL, Laugs I think it's about not having time to think or dwell. If our lives are busy and stimulated then we just have to keep going but the moment we stop we wonder whats wrong and find worries etc to fill the gaps. That's at least how I feel.
I have a love/hate relationship with deadlines but without them I would never get any work done. I almost need the pressure to extract the juice as it were.
I keep thinking about what contract I could take on next then remembering I have a baby. Have even been concidering retraining as not sure I want to be freelance/work away when I go back.

Tok sorry to hear your stitches went too, sounds far more dramatic than mine. Glad the ab's did the trick. And boo hiss to the mother in law. Mine's favourite saying is "well we never needed/had that when mine were small" as in a response to me saying "I need some bumpers for the cot" or "I need to get some muslin squares" etc...

Pav you and dh are just on top of each other at the moment and he's probibly fighting to keep a place and feel needed in your family. Is there something you both enjoy such as a game of cards or such like? Sometimes it's removing yourselves from the tension that helps more than discussing it.

laugs, scarlotti thanks for the thrush info, went to gp today and got it confirmed. What a pain! It's only me that seems to have it, so hopefully Lucy won't if I just stick to pumping.

laugs yes, I use a manual pump - tommee tippee one. DH picked up a Medela double electric thingy from the Horton for me last week but I do not get on with it - too much resemblance to a milked cow for my liking I basically have a routine of expressing after each feed, works out about six times in 24 hrs.

bbl I hope things are looking brighter after your sleep.

We're also snowed in! The village co-op's run out of stuff - people panic buying or maybe jus more people around to clear it out. The bin's not been picked up yet, no post delivered for two days. We managed to get out for a nice walk, so not complaining. Actually I could have winters like this every year, providing it would not mean the whole infrastructure collapsing...

laugs Have you tried warming the pump before expressing? For some reason it makes a difference for me if it's fresh and heated from the steriliser. Have also heard that dif. pumps work for dif. women and the La Leche League can lend out ones for you to try. Do others know if this is true?

wooks loving your GM's story about her parenting struggles in the 50's. It's just brilliant that she shared her experience with you.

pav at your DH. Lord, he's been putting you through it for the last few months. Is there any chance he will take up some voluntary work? It really is a great idea.

Right, those of you struggling with babies who won't sleep unless cuddled - I'm undertaking the following exercise for all of us. After talking with the HV I'm going to put him down awake to sleep. If he cries (which of course he will) I'll pick him up after half a minute or so, cuddle him until he stops then put him down. And repeat, repeat, repeat until he sleeps. Had a first go this afternoon and it did work. Eventually. Took quite a while though. Of course, the crucial aim is that he will get himself back off to sleep if he wakes in the night so I won't have to get up every hour and hold him for ages every time. And that it will be easier generally to get him to sleep. I expect it to take a while and be pretty exhausting at first though. Hence having the first go in the afternoon when I'm not too tired and the neighbours are awake ! I shall keep you informed of how it's going.

Oh, and re projectile vomiting, I'd like to report an impressive incident of projectile pooing. During a standard nappy change baby wiggles legs and "Wwhoosh", a stream of watery poo flies out from LOs arse, clears the changing mat, clears the changing table and lands Splat! on the small patch of laminate floor between the bedroom rug and the hall carpet. I stand there, clean nappy half opened in my hand, looking at the yellow mess over every surface with no idea where to start...

hiya all, eventful day. just got back from A&E. nothing to do with the kids Dh got punched in the nose from Bil and broke it. he was being an idiot dh told him so and bil then punched him. this was in front of me, mil,step-fil and the kids in the middle of town. blood everywhere, both kids screaming, mil screaming. bil went off and had to phone fil to come from work and pick us up and mil and step-fil walked the kids down to the hospital. so we were/are not best pleased. Fil came down and picked us up from A&E and took us home as dh couldnt drive. bil needs serious anger management. hope you've had a better day. x

Bloody hell, trikken! How is he going to make up for that one? Hope your dh recovers well, poor guy.

venus that's some aim! Before I got pg I swore that if ever I did have a child I would not devote any time to discussing baby poo... seems to be a subject of major research and many a conversation these days..... I got wee on my hand the other day while placing a fresh nappy under a bare bottom.

Incidentally, does anybody else find their baby's bottom cute and irresistible? Lucy's still in the scrawny chicken stage rather than cute chubby buddah, but her bum is just asking for a gentle pat every time I see it Also, how strange is it that your own baby's poo or snot is not disgusting at all? Mind you, I haven't had the projectile vomiting yet, don't know how cute I would find that one...

pavlov I wish I had some good advice for you. Just hope you can sort this out with your dh, I know that if I had to it would probably end in tears.

thanks skorpion he seems ok nursing his nose, apart from sore and a bit headachey. we are all a bit shaken tho. any visions of bil being dd's godfather have now well and truely gone out the window. who does that to family??

sorry will reply to posts later but have so much to think about at the mo.

trikken so sorry to hear that. What a nightmare and how worrying in front of the kids.

scarlotti and others our situation was the same. We would try and get Isaac to bed but he would end up staying up with us till about 11/12 in the sling. This was ok but bearing in mind he's 14 weeks old now I've started thinking I really need to get him in a routine after the craziness of xmas etc. He's nowhere near sleeping through the night (am so jealous of others) but am doing my best.

I've read loads of books but I would recommend reading the no cry sleep solution night, .Last night combined with the prince lionheart womb noises (that I dissed yesterday)www.amazon.co.uk/Prince-Lionheart-Original-Slumber-Bear/dp/B0006M1B0K/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t he slept from 8pm-12am by getting himself to sleep and settled quickly later.

venus that's a noble campaign! And one I will be staging in a few weeks, so keep us posted on how you get on

pav I can really relate to how you are getting on with DH. Mine is not working at present and is doing a great job of providing food and keeping the house clean - but he's very sensitive about getting credit for all he does so I have to be permanently grateful - even though he never says he's grateful for all the baby care I do. He occasionally accuses me of being ungrateful or not doing much to help around the house, even though we have an agreed division of labour, and we've had a couple of nasty arguments (often fueled by tiredness). I think the men do feel left out of babydom when it's only us that can feed and sometimes settle them, so they get a bit tetchy. We too haven't had a sane conversation about the tensions because I don't think that's possible right now - emotions are too high. It would be useful though, and i will try to be the grown up one and initiate it! She says with a grimace...

Another night ofwaking up hourly for feeding. I think he had wind at one point, bless him, based on the grunting coming from the basket. Lord, those babies make so much noise!!!

Those of you who do formula top ups at night - at what point did you introduce them and did they affect your milk supply at all? I'm wondering if that might help extablish a schedule of sleeping in big chunks in the night rather than in the afternoon...

trikken sorry about the 'incident'. I hope you find some resolution soon, it must have been very upsetting.

thanks scarlotti, I think I will try the snowsuit tonight if things get tetchy.

Trikken your poor dh, hope he's on the mend soon.

Pav think your dh needs a reality check. Sounds to me like it might be him getting uptight as he isn't working and you're both on top of each other but he needs to vent elsewhere and not at you.

Venus Ds1 poo'd on the hv when he was little, projectile right across the living room! Good luck with the sleeping, it's the right advice and it will work after a few days - hang in there though as will feel tough.

Think we're going to have to do something similar soon, Ioan will drop off ok but wakes then after 45 mins and can't soothe himself back to sleep. Doesn't happen during the main night sleep thankfully (11 - 5) but as we're trying bedtime now from 7 we're going to have to crack it.
DH up there at the moment shushing. Think it's going to be a long evening but as in true mastermind style ... we've started so we'll finish!!
Sounds like he's gone back off - will be my turn in another 45 mins!!

scarlotti how old is Ioan? I'm wondering at what age we should start the self-soothing business.

Crikey Trikken thats awful, Can't believe you bil would do that to your dh. Are they brothers? Even if they are it's still no excuse, and in front of the children too, not on. Hope your dh is ok and not too shaken up.

pav and sass I've found that tensions have been high at times with dh both when ds was born and now with Millie. There's nothing like having a new baby in the house and lack of sleep to cause a few rows, it happens to everyone I know with newborns. It's a tough time I guess for the men too, although I'd never admit that to dh!

dh has been out on the piss all day, he is due home shortly so god knows what state he will be in. Can't trust him to look after Millie when he's pissed so looks like I'll be on the late shift, great. I'm bloody knackered too, sob! I would love a day of jollying, or even just 1 hour! It's alright for the men, they still carry on as normal whilst being a mum is a 24/7 job!

sass he's 8.5 weeks. It's not going too well at the moment, he slept for 45 mins and we've been up 4 times already since. Now I can hear him screaming down the monitor despite dh shushing in the background.
Might have to go up and see if he wants feeding in a minute although he's not due a feed - am wondering if he's used to snacking in the evening as before now he'd have been dozing on my lap on and off until I went to bed at 10.
It's going to be a long evening but we can't turn back now we've started [repeats to self to stop back tracking as hates to hear him crying]

trikken your poor DH. Bad enough at the best of times, but by your own BIL! nasty physically and emotionally. I hope he's ok.

I don't have brain space, as usual, to make a useful post this evening, but on venus' theme I just had to tell you about Isla's poo tonight. She's had a very unsettled couple of days with belly trouble, and her bum exploded several times whilst sitting on my knee earlier on. Not unusual. We started using reusable nappies at new year to try to contain these epics, with great success. I got up to take her upstairs to get changed and great dribbles of poo came filtering out of her tights, down my trousers, onto my socks and all over the carpet in a trail leding to her room. It was gross. It also had big black bits in it which aren't a good sign so I've left a message for the HV. Her gut is being really annoyed by something I'm eating still

Now I'm off to do a pav and space out on the sofa whilst Isla feeds/sleeps/burps/squirms/gurns until 1-2am. All thoughts of self-soothing are, as they say on Glasgow, 'oot the wandy' until we get these tummy issues sorted . Back to being a human dummy for me...

Trikken hope you're ok!..poor your DH. What will happen now with BIL..?

Thanks to tips re sleeping and self soothing. Am pretty tired of bouncing up and down to get Char to sleep..

Pav you poor thing..am pretty at your dh too..but as helips says, there is nothing like a baby to get tensions mounting. Plus helips I totally feel your pain..DH going skiing on sat, on a jolly skiing with the boys in two weeks..they can take time out and I am SO ...furthermore, he won't even sleep. He will just get drunk with the rest of the reprobates. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

skorpian I love my baby's bottom..she has marathon poop sessions once a day when you just have to leave her and watch real time this tubey poo come out..its hilarious..

Am desperately trying to catch up with everything here - there's an awful lot, and I'm still a bit foggy from lack of sleep! I'm loving all the book talk.

Ninja - have you tried any Elizabeth Jane Howard? I love her 'Light Years' quartet about the Cazalet family during WWII - they're a nice series to just sink into...

Pavlov, we've got a lot of Orson Scott Card - my husband likes his geopolitical fantasy (the 'Shadow of' series). His military sister got him started on it, apparently all of West Point was addicted to 'Ender's Game' at one point.

Erika, it really sounds to me as if Bryn might have reflux - DS 1 had it, gagging, arching, projectile vomiting and all. I asked the doc if switching to formula would help, and he said no, not at all; apparently breastmilk only takes an hour or two to digest, while formula takes up to eight hours. If your baby keeps being sick, they'll manage to digest more if he's still on breastmilk. Also, apparently you also have to keep switching around to find a formula which won't aggravate things, which sounded like a lot of faff to me (and quite pricey).

BBL, I'm so glad you got some help, and I hope that the medication helps to balance things for you again so you can SLEEP.

Scarlotti - you too!

Yesterday, our village was effectively snowed-in, so the village cafe was mobbed by mothers of crazed toddlers who were desperate to get out of the house and away from their husbands shouting 'I'm trying to WORK here!' while secretly playing WoW in their studies. It was a loooong day. In the evening, DH decided that after a hard day of pwning - I mean, procurement analysis - he might brave the blizzard and head for the local pub. It turned out that he was not the only husband to have this genius idea and they were all carousing away until past midnight because hey, this was the GREAT FROST, snow predicted to stay for days...

...and this morning, it was clear and sunny, a snowplow has been through the village ensuring that all the roads out are meticulously snow-free, and the rail line is also free. DH went sadly off on the train, ale seeping out of every pore, clutching his coffee mug and his head, and has apparently been suffering all day. Heh. He's staying in tonight, and doing the dishes.

Tamlin lol at your dh and his sore head!
My dh has been to buy some boots so he can yomp through the snow to work tomorrow To be honest, it will be easier without him here as then DS1 can run about upstairs to his hearts content.

Am secretly hoping nursery and school will be open so they all go away for a bit!!

Well, bedtime has been a semi success (going to focus on the positive). He went down and slept for 45 mins (a sleep cycle here) then cried on and off for about 45 mins with me and Dh taking it in turns to go up and soothe. He's now been asleep for 50 mins or more and I'm about to head up and do a ebm feed and pump for tomorrow night.
Venus doing something similar to you in that when he wakes crying am picking him up to soothe, but I use a dummy too. Figure if I can get the routine going first, I can address the dummy use later on.
He's strange in that during the night he goes in and out of sleep cycles with no problem so it's just naps and early evening that we have to tackle.

Oh, and I could eat his bum with a side portion of cream

tamlin oh i have not read the shadow series. i have read 'Wyrms' and 3 of the 4 books from the Enders Trilogy. I loved Speaker for the Dead, got a bit lost by Children of the Mind. I read it about 5-6 years ago, and then when my mum was ill, she lived in London/Kent so we spent every other weekend travelling up and down from Devon, and sometimes more than that so we listened to it all on Audio Book. I got a bit lost/bored at around the same point there too, but i loved listening to it on audio. I laughed at your DH, poor man serves him right!

Thanks all for the support regarding DH. I do agree, he is lost i think, but i really do not know what else to do for him. He can change it if he wants to. I can't change it for him. However, things were better this afternoon after he went out to visit a friend then x-boxed all afternoon. Alright for some but i let him, and I cooked two lasagne with the intention of freezing most of it. I also went out this afternoon to a new softplay place just opened here with the children. He had space, and he has gone out tonight, told me he loved me. We are getting on top of each other, and I am definitely resenting him being here all the time, making mess, being in my space. I sort of feel 'i am meant to be here, i am on ML, you should be out there working, i have earnt this place on the sofa', that is really childish and I try to not think that way, its not a competition and I am so lucky that he is able to be around this much, to be there for DD, and to allow me to sleep more than others, and to cook as otherwise DD and I would eat pasta and pesto everyday

Reuben is really smiling, and he is really really ticklish! I was wiggling his legs holding his feet and massaging the soles at the same time, he had been staring into space and he grinned a huge grin, i did it again and he grinned again, 4 times he did it! Oh i love him very much. He also seems really content around DD. She was singing to him for about 20 mins and he was just staring at her, then occasionally wiggling his arms and legs. when I sang as demanded by DD, he carried on looking at her, as she moved, so did his eyes. It was lovely to see!

We are still in the grip of ice and snow. The schools are closed tomorrow as well now so that's day three.
An old friend drove me to parenting class with the hv's today. Was really nice to get out and meet other mums. She also took me out for lunch after.
It's very special of her because her and her dh are desperate for a baby but she is infertile and awaiting treatment.

Was told by hv today that the first 3mnths are just survival with a new baby then to think about routine when they get to about 5mnths so don't feel too bad about our topsy turvey wake times.

Hope all are well x

Another night of 2-3 hours sleep here. Thought I was going mad at 5.30am. Feel better now albeit very, very dozey. Crumbs what is this PND lark? It's hell! Please tell me it will get better soon.

Morning all. Good start to the day here. DH back at work (boo!)so have the 2 kids by myself again but I have managed to get up, washed, dressed and had my breakfast and both dcs are still sound asleep . Surely it'll all be downhill from here. Oh spoke too soon, I hear tears...

Oh Becky, sorry things aren't getting any easier. Didn't someone say that the ADs take a few days to kick in and you can feel worse before it gets better? Hang in there. We are all here for you if you want to talk about it.

Trikken how horrible for DH. I hope he's not too shaken and feeling better today.

Tamlin I loved your description of the men in the pub and the women and kids running wild in the cafe.

Scarlotti and Venus how did your nights go in the end? We are nowhere near routine stage, but then James is a lot younger - 5 weeks today. It'll be great to know what works by the time we get there!

Ninja what would you retrain as? I'm vaguely thinking of looking for different work too. After a horrendous 6 months last year (work-wise) I'm not sure I can afford to freelance with 2 sets of nursery fees to pay for, so it's probably either a proper job or nothing for a while. Anyone not going back to work?

Morning all

another snow day here, school and nursery closed so all 3 dc's at home but DH has managed to get into work so the day will be less stressful as the dc's can do what they want as no DH to disturb. I reckon my DH was the only one actually working from home, rather than sending the odd email and dossing
So have told DD she can have her friends here today as they've been to the other houses - they're all around 15 so have also said DS1 (4) will probably want to play in the snow if they're out and she's fine with that. I will be cool mum and provide chips and snacks we have in the freezer from xmas (think spring rolls etc.) which will do my self esteem no end of good!!

Bedtime seemed to work out ok in the end, after about an hour of unsettled time. Think he's just used to being awake at that time so was a bit miffed at being in bed. Hopefully tonight will be easier. I did enjoy having some time again just being me, and not with a baby on my lap!

Ninja you're right about the survival comment and routines. We are only doing one now as he's pretty much fallen into one of his own accord. It's only the bedtime bit that I'm shaping, and that's just to make it easier with the other dc's. I think for your first baby, going with the flow for as long as feels right is definitely the best way to keep your sanity.

BBL sorry your sleep isn't right yet, hang on in there as the ad's will help but they do take a few weeks to build up in your system. In the meantime just try and relax as much as possible - easier said than done with 3 dc's I know.

Pav glad things are on the mend with DH. Fwiw, I def feel as though I'm the only one allowed to be home as I've saved like mad to get this ML. DH should be at work and not under my feet. The last 2 days I've found hard as he was working from home - men have this inate ability to make the mood of the house change by their behaviour ... or even just their presence! My DH is great too with helping out .. but on his terms!
You can't be responsible for his mood or his job situation or change it, only he can do that but do try and remember that's the reason for his outbursts and NOT that you're anything less than the wonderful woman we all know and love

Right, DS2 just fallen asleep, that's my cue to go shower!

Our house is miserably cold today - it's not very well insulated, and draughts are just whistling in all over the place. You KNOW it's cold when your little nudist toddler strips off his clothes defiantly, and then decides that actually, he'd like them all back on right away. The baby's all right, he's wrapped up in a million blankets, but I'm frozen and rather resenting having to pull up my jerseys to feed him!

I was always told that you survive the first twelve weeks, and then worry about a routine, as until then, predicting what the baby's doing is like trying to predict the weather. I'm not sure this is entirely true, as Arthur seems to have slipped into a routine of his own accord. He eats every three hours, he naps an hour and a half after he wakes up, and provided DS 1 doesn't jump on him while he's napping, he just gets on with it. Evenings are still very dicey, though. He hasn't screamed all evening for the past two nights, so I'm desperately hoping that the colicky phase is passing... Last night he just beamed and cooed at me, eyes half-slitted with tiredness, until he went to sleep at 10 pm - then he woke at 2 am to feed, and then not again until 7 am. I can't BELIEVE how much better he's sleeping than his brother was at this age, and I am going to savour it - right up until the four month sleep regression.

Question - what is everyone doing for overnight nappies? I've abandoned cloth at night because he just soaks through, no matter what boosters I use - but he's also leaking out of the disposables unless I change him in the middle of the night... I'd really rather not, as it wakes him up properly.