Nov 09 and we're feeling fine, feeding, burping, not enough sleeping - that's us!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just thought I'd better create a new thread.

Raggie how about a trip to Burford?

It's a snow day here. DS1 has headed off to the park (of course I'm now here having kittens but I suppose you have to let them live as my grandmother always tells me).

DS2 went to bed at midnight woke at 1am for feed, woke at 4am for feed, woke at 6am for feed, woke at 8am for feed..... Where is the "I'm shattered" emoticon? - come on mn sort it out, surely that would be the most used emoticon ever.

BBL PND is not a failing on your part it's a medical condition. If you broke your arm no one would tell you to just snap it back together.
You will be fine in time but you need to give yourself a chance to let the meds kick in and allow your body to heal itself.
And even if you feel you are not coping, you are. You recognised there was a problem and sought help. That is coping with the situation in hand.
Soon the days will be longer, the sun will shine and warm your back and the leaves will appear on the trees and life will gradually take on a sense of normality. Until then we are here for you x

Hi everyone,

Just trying to catch up after a long time away - spent 2 weeks at my parents' over Christmas, and just recovering from the shock of having no-one on hand to help out! Sam and I are still in the lounge on the sofabed as bedroom FAR too cold now -room thermometer said 8degrees despite constant central heating... I suppose it is pretty cold outside!

BBL I am so sorry you are feeling so down. PND is, as others have said, a medical condition, not a failing AT ALL. If the antidepressants are fluoxetine, I have had those in the past and found that after about 2 weeks, I was feeling much, MUCH better. And please don't feel guilty about DH being off to help out - he's your husband and is there to support you when things go a bit ropey... I am so in awe of anyone with more than one child - seriously, I have no idea how anyone can cope with a baby and other children. I went two days without feeding the cat so goodness knows what I would do if we had another baby.... I really hope you manage to get a nap in today.

Sleepless poor you with the horrid D and V bug, and at feeling sad. Are you feeling any better now? Reflux is horrible. I am not sure if Sam has it, but he spends a long time hiccuping and posseting/vomitting after a feed, and seems to have a lot of wind/tummy ache. Whatever it is, it looks awful for him and makes me .

Anyway, I have lots of catching up to do. I hope you're all having good days... Not too snowy here...

its just started to snow here, didnt notice til i looked out and it is white.

BBL hope you feel ok again soon. im sending a hug x

Erika hope Bryn is ok now too. its not nice when they're sick. i think laugs is right about them turning their heads when sick, as Annabelle has been sick a couple of times in her moses basket and she has turned her head. (then screamed).

thoughts for everyone who is house-bound due to snow, cant be fun.

BBL well done for going to your gp to get some help. You are couragous woman as it is not easy to acknowledge that things don't feel right. I agree completely with scarlotti you clearly are coping, and recognising that you needed to see your gp is proof of that.

katster how horrible to have to sleep in another room! Can you get some kind of heater for the room, make it a bit warmer so you can be in there again? Last night was ridiculously cold. We are feeling it more, as, with the coldest year for like 15 years, we also have an enormous drop in the new hallway, and another large room to heat too!

erika how is Bryn today?

scarlotti don't be jealous as my ability to sit and do nothing. Its nothing to be proud of, it wastes too much time! Problem is, I am, like you, a 'doer' so, i spend a lot of time rushing around doing things, I start things and I have to see them through, i cannot for example start to tidy the kitchen and then leave it, or start to sort through a messy cupboard then leave it, i have to finish it no matter how long it takes. I start 'projects' like sorting the spice cupboard then it spills over the the other cupboards then I cannot stop until it is all done and it can be the middle of the night. I am like this at work, which meant before children I would stay at work til late as I could not go home if there was something that was unfinished. so, by the time i get to sit and relax and read a book, my head is so buzzy with things to think about, i need to sit an unwind, in silence preferably and my brain kinda switches off. That will have to change now! I also am very mentally busy, i think about nonsenseall constantly,and fast, so any time i get i think i just zone out. And reading, well it takes too long! I am going to try audio books as I think it is more about hearing the story and less about my brain trying to process information. I can also do it without using my hands! See, that was a brain waffle, right there!

BBL well done on seeing the doc and getting your tablets. I was on those for pnd after DS1 and they do help. You'll feel the benefits within a few weeks so hang in there.
I was like you and didn't understand why I had it given I'd had DD before and all was fine. It's just an imbalance within you and who knows why, can be hormonal, chemical etc. Each pg is different and so each post natal period is different.
You are not to blame in anyway, and there is NOTHING you could have done differently which would have stopped it happening.
My Mum had a hard time accepting I had pnd too, she's a real 'get on with it' type of person. Try and ignore her comments around snapping out of it, and just take care of yourself.

Pav I am learning to let things be if I don't manage to finish them, at least until the next day or so. Problem is that until the job is finished it occupies my brain space. So at the moment, we have changed the DS' bedroom but DS1's toys still need to be moved through and all his old and current clothes need to be sorted through ready for DS2. There is also heaps of stuff in the fitted wardrobe in the new room that needs getting rid of ... can you see my to do list growing before your eyes!! All I think about at the moment is what order I should do these jobs in to get the best results.
I do wonder sometimes if I will ever just stop and think all the sorting type jobs are done. I envy DH who couldn't give a monkeys

DS1 was so looking forward to his play date that I managed to get the car out and take him. At least he won't be climbing the walls as much now when he comes home later.
Still snowing here. Laugs am with you in that am all snowed out too. Roll on normality where nurseries are open and it's warm enough to get out with your baby in the pram for a walk.

I'm sorry guys for going on about me. I'm just really frightened right now. I'm frightened of what's going on in my head and why I can't sleep. It's like being on hyper alert all the time. Please tell me it gets better. I've never had anything like this before. I was fine a week ago!

BBL Sorry to hear you've been feeling so rough and I'm pleased you've got to the docs. Hopefully you'll start sleeping better soon. I've never realised how important sleep is and how difficult it is to function without. Also am in awe of how people manage to cope with a baby and other kids. I've been having difficulty getting to sleep and have had also had concerns about PND as have had depression in the past but I seem to go through phases of feeling up and down. It's hard to know what's 'normal'.

I think Isaac has been going through some crazy growth spurt as he's continuing to put on weight at an astronomical rate. He's now 14lb7 which is pretty good going bearing in mind he was only little when born. He's also getting his first tooth so we've had lots of dribble and tears.

I'm still trying to establish a good bedtime routine, bath, dark room blah blah blah but he's having none of it. I even bought a bear called Prince Lionheart that makes womb noises! It relaxes him but it doesn't make him sleep. Will keep on at it.

I'm surprised how many of you have had depression / anxiety in the past. I've never had any before. I know what you mean about not knowing what is 'normal'. I still don't know if this is normal or not.

BBL, I have no experience with PND but it seems as you have a very understanding husband and also doctor.
Could breathing exercises help you to fall asleep? Like relaxation at the end of a yoga session where you focus on every single part of your body? And weeks ago someone had the advice of spending all day with the baby in bed and have lots of naps. Maybe this could be possible on the weekend? That your husband or someone else takes the older ones (or even Toby for a while?)
It's good that nowadays PND is "normal" and you don't have to hide your feelings. My mum thinks she had it but back then you were not supposed to feel low.

Do you all get the immunisation done at 8 weeks or is someone refusing or delaying? Paula is already 9 weeks (we have been away for two weeks), so she should already have got it but I am not too comfortable with getting it so early. And she doesn't seem 100% healthy at the moment. We are back to frequent vomitting, yesterday there was no poo at all and today it's pooing constantly and she didn't sleep well. But she doesn't seem to be unhappy at least.
And what about mercury/autism? Does this immunisation contain mercury? I couldn't find out. ok, off to an other nappy change

annabelles immys are at eight weeks, whih is fine. on a different note, not sure about H1N1 jab for ds. not sure how safe it is.

Becky biggest of big big hugs. Saying you need help, getting the tablets, and then the first days on them - they are the hardest bits. I swear it gets easier, and you're already doing so very well! Be proud of yourself for recognising the fact you're ill - because that's what it is. One in five people will suffer from depression at some point in their lives. And besides, "normal" is boring Be warned that the first few days on ADs can make you feel worse temporarily. But then the improvement is noticeable almost immediately.
Be sure to go to the doctors again if you don't feel they're helping. Sleeping - a tip a therapist of mine taught me once. Breathe out to twice the count you breathe in. EG; slowly count to three as you breathe in, then to six as you breathe out. You end up entirely focused on the numbers so drift off. I use it quite a lot. Am normally out within a couple of minutes. Hope that helps. x

Wook I feel like that sometimes, combination between my ME and anxiety. I hope you feel better soon. Have you tried doing into the car and just shouting / singing very loudly? Fab way to realise frustration.

Bryn seems to be a little better today, thanks to those of you who asked. Is holding onto his wind with a vengeance though.

Snowed in here, can't get out of the road, so will have to rebook his immunisations. Will have to be a nine week check...

BBL you're doing really well. Don't be hard on yourself. I haven't suffered from depression but have from anxiety and I agree the two are surprisingly common. Of my close friends, I'd say most of us have experienced one or other at some point in the past few years.

erika that advice on breathing and singing (not at same time) sounds good. Last night I was getting really upset when James wouldn't settle and I found singing to him really calmed me (didn't do much for him though ). It seems almost impossible to be angry/ sad/ hyperventilating while singing.

After a really sleepless night, he has slept only 2 hours all day. He's now been awake since 11.30am and just will not sleep. I know he's overtired, but I don't know what to do about it. I can only put him down for a few minutes before he screams.

Oh and pav I must be the exact opposite of you: I start loads of projects but rarely finish any of them . I only like the fun part of getting started, having grand plans etc, but no sticking power! Maybe it's because I am an Aries.

Katster nice to see you back . Hope your house warms up soon!

Ninja at your lovely big baby. I thought I'd got the monster infant of the group, but even he didn't get to 14lb 1oz until 6w 3d, and he's in the top 2%! Alfie must be top 0.02%! I take it you too have moved on to the 3-6 month babygrows - I didn't even manage to squeeze James into his 'going home' outfit once, he was certainly never Newborn sized and didn't hang around in the 0-3 month group long either. Some of those gift outfits were retired before they were ever worn .
I hope you heal up again quickly, it must be v frustrating for you. Esp the keeping the wound dry thing.

Fruit my baby is also left boob biased. He never roots round to the right and also mashes up that nipple much more painfully than the other one. Bless... Must be just one of those things. Maybe it's related to position in the womb? Baby James didn't really move for the last two months, so wouldn't be surprised if he ended up with a crick in his neck.

Wook I know how you feel. I'm also daydreaming about all the snowboarding holidays that I've had and desperately wondering if one will be possible next season with baby in tow.

Empathy to those struggling with lack of sleep. Horribly jealous of those getting big blocks of zees. Round here it's usually 2.5 hrs at the start of the night then maybe 1 or 1.5hrs for the next two blocks and all over by 6am. And in the day he doesn't really sleep except in the pram or on my lap so I can't catch up on my rest unless DH is around to mind him for me. Blergh. Have to say I don't like my son very much at 4am when, after half an hour of rocking him to sleep and gently placing him in the cot for the third time that night, he wakes up just as I get back into bed and close my eyes. I can't even look at him sometimes, I just have a bit of a cry, pick him up and try again. DH now gets up at 7am so that he can look after him for an hour somewhere between 7 and 9 so that I can shower and sleep before he goes to work but it's nowhere near enough. Desperate for my mum to come and visit again so she can help in the day,

BBL esp large doses of sympathy to you. Others have given great advice, hope some of it helps you.

You know when friendly strangers say something along the lines of, " ooh, treasure these months, they go by so quickly" does anyone else think "hmm, you've clearly forgotten what it's like to care for a newborn..."?
Not that they aren't lovely, but it ain't all dressing them up and dancing round the room.

scarlotti, pav and other readers. If you like well written thrillers (Girl in the Dragon Tattoo style) my top recommendation of the year is The Yiddish Policeman's Union. Can't remember the name of the author. It's a bit like Robert Harris's Arkangel in that there's a bit of alternative history set up, but the plotting and characters are just fabulous and better than Harris (though he is the king of plots). Got to say that I thought I'd have no time to read once the baby arrived, but actually it turns out to be the only way to keep myself awake during those long night feeds! Thank goodness we've a good library...

laugs had exactly the same yesterday with rosa re the overtiredness. today slept all morn but now grumpy and awake again. just got her a little chilled now...

bbl - glad you've got help and the others are right - that means youARE coping: you're dealing with a very difficult situation in the right way

oh, she's grumbling again...

laugs have you tried hugging him to sleep? When LO gets overtired that's what I have to do. Basically hold him like a human swaddling blanket. Hug in the arms esp and hold tight. If yours is anything like mine he'll wriggle like mad and scream blue murder for a couple/five minutes then fall blissfully asleep. Granted, you're then stuck with him in your arms, but even a small sleep like that could make it easier to get him to sleep normally afterwards.

at 'it ain't all dressing them up and dancing round the room'...

venus - my DH is the master of getting her to sleep with that trick but me not so good. must try harder to get past the screaming.

I tend to bounce Bryn to sleep. For bigger effect - when he's screaming from being over tired - I hold on to him and bounce up and down on the bed I have a helpful twitch in my leg, its almost as if its vibrating sometimes. I plonk him on my knee and he's out in seconds. Great for bringing up wind too!

Laugs sorry to hear about the anxiety. I have been known to sing the most bizzare things! It resets the intake of oxygen vs. carbon dioxide - plus its relaxing.

Bryn is also refusing to sleep today. Incredably grouchy he is too!

erika and laugs bizarre singing here too. current fave songs are 'Get Rid Of The Poopoo (yeah)' and 'You're The Chunky Monkey' for changing and feeding times respectively...

HI all,

bbl well done for taking the first steps on the road to feeling better. It might be two steps forward and one step back for a while, but keep talking to your DH and us so you know you aren't alone and keep the faith that there is a light at the end of the confusing darkness. I have had such days of despair since Tristan was born, I'm keeping an eye on it myself.

ninja hang in there with the stitches - I lost one and had them get infected within a week of Tristan's birth (along with mastitis), I know it's uncomfortable and worrying.

venus - your night is EXACTLY what my last night was like. I was so frustrated, I just kept thinking that I must not produce enough milk to get him to sleep for more than 1.5 hours, and that I should introduce formula, but by the light of day, I feel a bit more hopeful that it's just a phase.

I have another blocked duct and super painful right nipple - which he's not latching onto or feeding off very well right now. Maybe Tristan is another 'left boob' sorta guy. But is one boob enough to keep him going and growing??

So we've noticed that Tristan sleeps brilliantly in his snowsuit - we've never mastered swaddling and thinks it's because he feels snug in it. Is there anything to say that we couldn't puthim in his moses basket in his snowsuit (undone for ventilation) for sleeps?? Any safety issues there?

Have I mentioned that I have the longest baby ever?! He was 60 cm at birth and now that he's unfurled he just amazes us with his length. He hangs off the end of my nursing chair and I have to perch on the edge of the sofa to do the rugby hold for nursing. Crazy. :-)

Re: books, I'm a fellow book lover and like many of the ones you listed ninja. I would add... A Fine Balance, What I Loved, The Poisonwood Bible and Life of Pi. All good reads. Loved the Dragon Tatoo series as well.

My, it's so good to hear others having the same problems as me. Irrational lashing out, sleep deprivation symptoms and pukey babies. You're like family

Still piles of snow up here. I had a busy morning with my 6 week check and physio to get to, DD not at nursery (again! poor thing) and heavy snow. DH managed to get to work though. It's so nice having him out of the house. Cabin fever doesn't begin to describe us after DD1 being home for 12 weeks with no alternative childcare and DH being home 5 out of the past 6 weeks, and being snow/ice bound for 3 of those! MIL came up trumps in her 4x4 to take me to my appointments and babysit. The physio was a long one for incontinence issues. I have no sensation of when my bladder is full after trauma from the forceps and then I get a sudden urge to go when I hear water. It involved an internal while I did pelvic floors to assess tenderness & effectiveness. All very informative, if not a bit weird.

Isla seems to have DD1's cold so is pukey and gurgly today. Can't remember if I mentioned yet that she was laughing at DH the other night. It was magical. I've always wanted a giggly baby .

Another left-boober here! I had been wondering about just feeding from the left and expressing from right as it hurts more, but since he's feeding every hour at the moment that's not possible any more anyway.

He's slept for 2.5 hrs since 5am! Help. Poor DD has had no attention all day and has been very patient. I am dreading tonight now. In desperation I've just used the 4oz EBM I had saved for tonight to try and get a bit of sleep - and he's still awake. Venus he normally sleeps if we hold him, but won't sleep any way today.

How do those with babies who need to be held get any sleep?! I also have the problem that DH sleeps badly, so while I had little naps between feeds last night, DH was awake from 1am-5am, even the bits when I was on duty. This makes me feel bad about waking him tonight.

sass I think (and hope!) that the constant feeding won't mean you don't have enough because the more he feeds the more milk gets produced - so it may be that he's feeding more to stimulate your supply but it shouldn't be that he doesn't get enough. It's hard though isn't it? I would have cracked open the formula last night if we'd had any.

sorry if i missed anything - it took me 3 hours to write that post

laugs have you tried expressing milk? I've pretty much given up putting Lucy on the boob for now as am just too sore still. I give her about 90ml of ebm topped up with up to 60ml of formula at each feed. I need to give my boobs time to heal and expressing doesn't seem to do much damage. Still trying to hold on believing I can turn this around.

Can I ask what the symptoms of thrush are? Sorry if it's been done to death. I can't see anything in Lucy's mouth but I get these sharp pains in my breasts - no engorgement though. The right one is lumpy and harder even after pumping.