April 2009 - Episode 10 - Christmas time!! we can all drink wine, while children gurgle nursery rhymes, with logs in their nappies, and pee by the tree fun will be had by baby and me!!

[SantasNutts]

here we go then Merry Christmas One and all!! xxxxx

Nice description of motherhood there RR... someone should have told me before I embarked on this folly journey!

Good morning people

Puzzle and Springy I'm another one who photographs appallingly. I always manage to look like the fattest person in the picture, even on the rare occasions when I am not.

WFH I'd keep both pairs for fat and thin days but then my wardrobe is a festering pit of totally unwearable clothes so perhaps ebay would be better. Hope your computer gets sorted by the way.

BB congrats. I don't know which I'd be more jealous of, a hangover or pg. Or possibly just tonnes and tonnes of chocolate since I gave away the last chocolate in the house to poorly DS1 [altruism emoticon]

Boff oh no so sorry about the nanny and also the awful treadmill. If it makes you feel any better I've been having a week of "I'm wasting my life being a SAHM"-itis and thoroughly admire what you're doing.

Bicnod and Fei we have all been there. When I was in hospital with Edmund, the nurse caught me whispering angrily "just go to sleep go to sleep" and possibly heard my earlier outburst of "go to fucking sleep". I am still mortified when i think of it, but I guess we've all been there. We co-sleep. I don't mind it too much as the alternatives are just too too hard. And I know from DS1 that it does eventually get better.

Gui/Bech (you're my BECH mate you are.....) about a hundred years ago, I can't really get on with ring slings either and have all those problems. My friend who loves them tried to sort me out by carefully rethreading the sling so the fabric was neatly gathered, which helped a bit.

Oh bum that's Edmund awake. Feeling not motivated at all today

Morning. Believe me I am not pregnant and I didn't have sex! completely the opposite. DH slept on the sofa because of my alcofrolic fumed!

Bicnod. I cant really comment as while K is not a great sleeper he has never been routinely bad, but i third the co-sleep. It's the only thing that keeps me sane!! I am slightly bitter that the one night I didn't have K I was trollied, late in and slept for 4 hours

Ouch Boff - I've never known such troubles with nannies etc (although saying that I have never actually had one). Just a suggestion here and please don't take offense but is your job really worth the commute and the hassle of having all of this? Could you work from home and do freelance work here and there to keep your brain active. I know that might not be viable for many reasons but you haven't sounded happy about being back at work in these past few weeks...

Right we are off to a funeral today (wedding tomorrow), I only hope K doesn't do his new screaming (as in shouting) for attention followed by extreme giggles in the church! x have a good day xxx

Bicnod, I suggest doing whatever you need to in order to get some rest, which might be having a bit of a nightie day today and co-sleeping and bf on and off all night if necessary. You can reboot him later on into a better regime once you are rested.

BB I have been wondering that, as I actually make a loss going to work now, and they're all so unsettled over there because of office politics and government regime changes that it is not fun any more.

There is a lot of 'busy work', filling in the same information over and over again on loads of different forms, and what we call 'edu spam', which is doing lots of fussy little admin things for no apparent reason. And then we get told off for not doing loads of international quality research, which is supposed to be our bread and butter, but the reality is is our energies and creativity are totally dissipated by all the pointless repetitive stuff.

For example, yesterday we spent 20 minutes arguing about whether to have sandwiches at research seminars. I sat there and said, "Listen to us, we are arguing about frigging tuna sandwiches" and things like that, and instead of laughing about it with me like they used to they all started to have a go at me for "trivialising the conversation". TRIVIALISING, FFS!!!! IT'S TUNA FRIGGING SANDWICHES!!!!

I had a cry in a colleague's office yesterday as I was so utterly worn out with it all and wondering what to do next.

But it's all very well saying stay at home, but I have 8 degrees and a brain the size of a planet and there is nobody else around during the day apart from the silly yummy mummies, so I would go bonkers.

I don't know what to do.

Thank you so much for all your kind words ladies - you've made me cry . Bicnod = overtired and pveremotional.

I don't think co-sleeping would work for us as when O comes into our bed he gets really excited and even more awake. I think I'm going to have to start feeding him to sleep at night again if this carries on, even if only in the short term just to get some rest. Poor little monkey - MrsG I did the 'just go to fucking sleep' at 5 o'clock this morning

Anyway - I'm feeling slightly less desperate now. The sun is shining, it's a new day, maybe tonight will be better. I'm not going to dreamfeed him tonight - Fei I was thinking about what you said yesterday and I think maybe dreamfeeding him disturbs his sleep pattern and sets up this waking at 3am cycle - maybe if I don't dreamfeed him he'll wake at a different time and break the cycle...

[clutching at straws emoticon]

...anyway. Enough self-pity and wallowing. We're going swimming today which I seriously can't be arsed to do but I know I will enjoy once we get there and hopefully it wear O out a bit.

Maybe all this wakefulness is because he's just learned to roll the other way???

[more straws being clutched]

Right. Nuff about me.

Boff - arse arse and triple arse. That is seriously crap - what are you going to do? BB makes a good point that you haven't seemed very happy these last few months - are some drastic changes in order?

Boff - xposts - thanks for the virtual cake by the way...

Could you not work from home? perhaps independently? or would work consider allowing you to?

I could work evenings. This job has come up. Yes, it is for real.

Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy
(Job reference: 316199 ) Faculty of Education, Social Sciences and Law
School of Sociology and Social Policy (Full-time, fixed term 12 months from March 2010)

You will work on an ESRC funded study on the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy. The post will involve qualitative and quantitative data collection and analysis. It is based in Leeds, although some travel to other cities may be necessary.

You will have, or be about to complete, a postgraduate qualification in the social sciences or relevant subject and some appropriate research experience. You will be mainly responsible for access and fieldwork. Good interviewing, communication and organisational skills are essential as is the ability to work independently and as part of a team. Experience of interviewing and conducting surveys is essential, as is prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry.

It is anticipated that interviews will take place on December 14 2009 Salary: Grade 7 (£29,704 - £35,469 p.a)
The appointment will be made at £31,513 p.a or below since there are funding limitations which dictate the level at which the appointment can start. Apply using: Application form, CV and Equal Opportunities Monitoring form Download an application form: (pdf version) | (Word version) Informal enquiries:
Dr Teela Sanders [email protected]
Send completed applications to:
Anne Prendergast, email [email protected]

or by post to:

Anne Prendergast,
Social Science Building,
The University of Leeds,
LS2 9JT.

Closing date: 27 November 2009 Job description and person specification Anticipated interview date: 14 December 2009

Boff, my only query would be: do you have prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry?
Otherwise, it seems perfect.
More than I get paid, by a looooong chalk.
Im off on the school run, sending support and sympathy to all as I dash.
One day I will catch up.

mwa, mwa (cross-channel kisses to all)

I don't have experience but I could borrow DH's gold lame thong (Don't ask. Really, don't ask).

I'm asking!

I WANT THAT JOB!!! it has me written allllllll over it

Rudolph, Valentine's Day 2005.
Nutts, I will write you a reference.

Boff, speaking as a very lucky mum with a challenging and satisfying part-time job 30 mins away - surely there must be something that you can get your teeth into that's easier to fit into family life. You've always had so much on your plate and seemed to somehow keep on top of it all but it just sounds unworkable! I'm amazed and impressed you've kept it up so long

Bicnod, hope today has been easier. I've sat by the cot holding a dummy in and saying "for fuck's sake shut up" more than once . You are human and you're doing a wonderful job. Do whatever it takes to get a bit of sleep and sod the routine. Many hugs.

Evening,
I cannot possibly catch up. I have two piles of papers to mark. But I wanted to say

• Bicnod, you are not crap, you are doing your best in a bad situation. If co-sleeping isn't an option, then feed him back to sleep at least until you have caught up on lost sleep. There is always time for routine, sleep training, CC or whatever once you have the stamina to do that, but first you need to get a bit more rested.

I have also cursed and hissed at a non-sleeping baby, and felt awful afterwards. Hope the swimming helped you get a change of scenery.

-Boff, I am not very clued up on UK academia, but is there any way you could carry on doing research from home to keep your brain working, but without the stress of commuting, etc.? Then as long as you kept publishing you might not perish if you slipped out of the teaching system for a year or two. Is there any hope of a post nearer to your home over the next few years? If you tried to cultivate links and working contacts?
You have had such shit luck with your nannies it is unbelievable and you need a break. (and a chocolate olive, but I am still working on the master parcel ).

Everyone else, I am not ignoring you, I am lurking and reading, but am just so damn short of time that I can't do a proper catch-up post.

The real problems start when they are old enough to understand and remember and talk and you still swear in their presence

Think I'm about to get shouted at on the ironing nappies thread. May have lost patience and posted in anger....

Am home alone tonight and in fact all weekend as DP is working in London until Monday. It's a bit shit, really, and someone made a prank call to me earlier which kind of shook me up a bit, so am feeling a bit miserable.

Bicnod I feel your pain - and I second feeding back to sleep. If it's teeth, then he needs all the comfort you can give, and you need all the sleep you can get, and if that is achieved through feeding, then do it. I always did with DS1 and it never affected his sleep outside of teething times, and am doing it with Orbit at the moment.

Boff I have no useful advice but it sounds like you're worn to rags you poor thing. What does Mr Boff think?

Am going to post now before I lose it all, as my brain is definitely not working at full tilt this evening.

WFH, are you drinking wine and pissing about on facebook like me? . I have requested to join the FW group if nobody minds, initials LC. Can't remember who's the boss.

Prank caller? That's really creepy. The fact that it's probably random I imagine doesn't make you feel a whole lot better. Are you OK?

I've just capped myself up.

I'm drinking tea and watching Have I Got News For You and reading the Environment Agency report on reusable nappies. Multi tasking, that's me!

Phone call wasn't very nice, but I've convinced myself it was a wrong number. I hope.

Quiet in here tonight, innit?

It's a nightmare shifting academic posts. It's so damn competitive and there's so much politics involved with everything. I used to work at the local elite university and was very successful, but I was thoroughly backstabbed by a nasty little group of cliquey and mean minded men, and so flounced off to another one. I have been looking for a job back at the first university again in a different department, but it will take me years, and it's not helped by the lack of publications at the moment as a result of too much teaching and admin, and also being knackered. Sorry, this is all quite technical and peculiar to academe.

Fear not, Boff, I know what you mean. Have a sister and two SILs in academe (one of whom has just been awarded tenure....sadly her husband - same field, same university) wasn't ) so have picked up quite a lot of knowledge.

Sounds like a difficult one - what does Mr Boff say?

Mr Boff says my work is very important as it changes the world for the better.

He slept! It required an 11pm settle and a 3.30am feed but he settled within 30 minutes of the feed and then slept through until 7.30am

I feel so much better - I reckon I got about 7 hours all in last night (spliced in the middle but 7 hours nonetheless) so less zombie and more human this morning.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support yesterday - sometimes I wonder how I'd cope without this thread. You can all have a for being so wonderful.

So I'm going to try and avoid feeding him tonight as don't want to get back into night feeds on a regular basis but will give in if it's not working... path of least resistance seems very appealing right now.

Boff - any epiphanies in the night?