May 2009: Brides and bibs

[EtherealFiByTheSea]

Here we go...

oh, EB'smom, i really, really feel for you. wish we were closer in distance to chat. are you seeing anyone- GP/counsellor or such? don't remember noting in your posts.

i wish I had good advice for you. except echoing what the others say in that it is vital you take care of yourself, give yourself a break. can you get help with the children so you can go out by yourself for a bit of 'me' time? I hope that doesn't sound trivial in the face of things but I do think it's important that you take care of yourself.

emmabemma - where abouts are you geographically? I think momi is absolutely right about ensuring you get a bit of time to yourself.

Right, both DSs in bed, DH in the bath so taking the opportunity to do a bit more MNing!

emmab remember you have the kids. It may seem like you have the short straw but you have beautiful DCs who you get to see every day, share all the nice (and not so nice!) moments with them, you get the love and have the family. It may seem like he is Mr Free, but believe me, he is worse off out of the 2 of you. A friend of mine, her DH left her at seven months preg with their second. She was filled with dread at being a single mum, but she is now settled with her 2 and she feels lucky that she has them. Whereas her ex only gets to see them for limited periods and misses out on the lovely times. She does have her wobbly moments, of course, but at the end of the day, its her ex that is missing out and it was his decision to do what he did. You're doing a great job.Its early days and you are still hurting. It will get better. Sorry for waffling on.

EmmaB I'm so sorry. I have seen your updates on fb and I'm glad you are back on here as I was thinking of you and how you are getting on. I really hope you work out the best thing for you. I can totally understand you wanting to go home. That's what I would do. I hope 'talking' on here helps.

Dandy loving the new name. Your DS is so beautiful. His skin is amazing. Almost as cute as mine .

Halloween We didn't do anything and didn't have any sweets in so we disappointed a few trick or treaters I must get more organised next year. In NZ we didn't T or T so I don't really think of it.

I am meeting with a teaching agenvy tomorrow to sign up for some supply work. I hope I can get away without doing much but I thought I should get my crb check etc organised so that I can work in Feb if needed. Hopefully when DH is busy I won't have to work much. It will be tight but not really worth it with 2 full time in childcare.

Ok, time to in law rant!

Aaaaaaarrrrgghggghaaaaarrgghhhhhhh. I can't stand my FIL! There have said it. He is the most difficult man. Now, in comparison to some ILs he is not an awful or malicious person, but I find him such hard work.

We were with them for 2 days and in all that time,he prob spent an hour in total with the DSs. He just goes off and does his own thing. We went to the park. DS1 was playing on the playground.Does he join in ?No he goes off to explore on his own. Does he try to persuade DS to come with him?No. He goes and takes photos of trains. We go to a museum which has stuff for kids to get involved in. Does he try and join in? No he goes off and looks at rows and rows of medals. Does he once offer to read DS1 a bedtime story? No. Not once.

He spouts shit about people who I've never met, who DH hasn't seen in years and years. Goes on and on about these people. He can tell you what their parents did for a living, what their offspring are doing. Can he remember things from his own son's childhood? No.

Does he ever express pride in his GCs? Does he ever express pride or even an interest in his son's life? Not really. No he just chats shit about the two elder sisters and other people who I've never met.

Why do we always have the same food when we visit? Why do we have to have every meal in the same manner?Why will they not ever entertain eating out? Why can they not get some new beds for the spare room so we don't have to sleep on beds that are like sleeping on a plank on wood? Why does everything have to switched off properly and then switched off at the mains aswell? Why does he travel 25 miles to buy a new pair of safety shoes (his shoe of choice for normal day to day wear) and then only wear one of said new pair because one of the old pair has not yet fully worn out, hence he is wears odd shoes?
This is only the tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on. They are not monsters by any stretch but gah, I need to vent. He does my head in.

Oh did I mention that he developed a habit of calling me mum.

Not just when the DCs were around, but in normal conversation?? I had to nip that in the bud pretty damn quick.

Will stop now. Can someone pass me some wine? Of course, the ILs don't drink........

I'm sorry LadyH, but you've made me laugh at some of your rant. I am totally with you on the use of the word "mum." I hate it when medical professionals use it and I think I would explode if FIL used it.

Here, have a cocktail.

I agree that Dandy's DC are very handsome children indeed. And I do like the new name.

Febes good luck tomorrow with the agency.

Right, back to the ironing.

S'ok llare I guess all ILs and parents have their own quirks. The mum thing was one of the worst. Its like once I had DS1, I ceased to have a name. I don't mind the medical profession calling me mum, but my bloody FIL should be able to remember my name!

Here is how the conversation went when I pulled him up on it

FIL: And hows mum?
Me: Now, GERALD, I've told you before don't call me mum
FIL: (looking panicky ) well what do I call you then?
Me: Um, how about MY NAME?

Not had chance to catch up but just seen on FB that sausage has been tagged in a photo, so you might be able to see the blushing pride (she looks beautiful and smiley and relaxed)

pmsl at headless's FIL rant.
Laughed even louder when I saw his name was Gerald. How perfect. (No offence to any other prospective Geralds out there )

I would have to restrain myself if a relative referred to me as 'mum'. I can just about bear it from MWs, doctors and teachers.

febes and llare thanks for the compliments. High praise from febes indeed

I must say I couldn't wish for better ILs - they are lovely people, but my FIL also has the habit of calling me "mum", and sometimes when the DCs aren't around which i find strange too. I call him by his name or "grandad" if the DCs are listening- I know some people call their ILs "mum" and "dad" but i can't bring myself to do that.

Just had a peak at the photos from saus's wedding. She looks gorgeous! And the cake.........!!!! Hope she saves us some!
Also love the fact her bridemaid is in orange. Very halloweeny. Looks like she had a fantastic day.

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Saus!!

LadyH Hope you don't mind, but I've just deleted your comment on my FB photo (even though it made me laugh) because you called me Dandy. I don't what other FB friends knowing what my MN name is - I have one good friend who I definitely know is a MNetter, and she knows I use the site, but she doesn't know my name and i want to keep it that way if poss. I do use the site a lot so she may have come across my posting name before. So just in case she sees Dandy and puts two and two together ...

Anyway, in answer to your question - yes, I did get it from Sainsburys

Oh, and btw, I slipped up myself a coupld of days ago and referred to Sausage's DD by name on this thread. I don't think she tends to do that so I don't think it's my place to 'out' her children's name. Because of that I asked MN to delete my post, and they did.

Oh christ sorry dandy. I didn't think!

Sausage Does indeed look gorgeous. So does the cake ...

When DH and I got engaged, he was amused to discover that I didn't have a dream dress in mind, but I did have a dream wedding cake. One that I'd spotted some time before and thought, if ever get married, that'll be my wedding cake. I took him to see it and he agreed. We got many compliments on the cake

Headless Don't worry, honestly, easily done

Its for a similar reason that I think I may stay as Headless so be more careful on FB.

And I must also mention that my little pumpkin slept from 7 till 7 last night. Worn out by trick or treating I think! First time he has ever done that, and long may it continue .

Headless my FIL is a Gerald too. He has his quirks (clicking fingers at H thing) but not as infuriating as yours! Oh and they don't drink either. Has to be reminded to open wine on Christmas day

spangle glad I'm not the only one to suffer the effects of a Gerald!

DH has let H drink beer tonight H was desperate to get at DH's glass so he let him have a little taste. Fortunately he didn't like it. I think DH may be taking this BLW thing too far!

Don't let the Gerald's find out, spangle!

Oh, doesn't Sausage look lovely? I actually drooled when I saw the cake. Fabulous. I wonder where they've gone on honeymoon?

I don't think my FIL calls me anything at all. I really don't remember him ever saying my name. I shall be watching out for it now.

Smug boast: both boys in bed by 6.30pm. I hardly know what to do with myself so I've done some ironing, some pilates and polished off the birthday cake.

DS said something funny today. He was questioning me about breastfeeding. He has totally forgotten that he he used to do it and only stopped a few months ago. Anyway, I jokingly asked him if he wanted to try some expressed milk and he actually rolled his eyes and said "no mummy, I'm weaned you know" and sauntered off! It is amazing what they pick up.

Right. Back to the ironing and x factor.

Dandy and Headless there is some sort of legal drama on BBC1 at 9pm. No idea what it is like...

LOL at your DS llare!

Just clocked the BBC1 thing. Have you seen what the story line is? Not sure I could watch it.

Think I will join you with the X Factor. Can't believe Twit and Twat are through again!

llare Lol at your DS. How grown up of him!

Dandy I'd wondered before why there was a deleted post of yours on here a few days a go.

Going to have a look at sausage's wedding pics in a min.

headless Your FIL and his shoes really made me laugh. Can't believe anyone would actually do that!

Aaw, sausage is looking really beautiful. And that cake looks incredibly yummy. Mmmmm chocolate.

I'm a rubbish farmer btw. I keep letting my strawberries wither away.

Evening all!

Just seen the wedding photos, gorgeous! Hope saus had a fab day.

Emmab'smum - I'm so sorry to hear what's been going on. Everyone has made great points already. Now really is the time to think of what is best for you and the children.

llare - lol at your DS! They come out with some great things sometimes, don't they.

FIL stories - I think you've heard how incredibly lazy my FIL is, most of my stories are based around how he is completely unable to do anything for himself. An annoying one - butter on toast, he's so lazy that he can't even spread butter to anywhere near the edges of the toast, he just puts a splodge in the middle of the slice and that's it. It's a really stupid thing to be annoyed with, I know, but these things all add up, don't they? He's really patronising as well, every time he sees me he says (in a really surprised voice) 'you're doing a good job with those girls', gah!

I'm sure there's more namechecking to be done, but you've talked so much that I'm getting confused. May come back to bits later!

My day yesterday was fab. Great to see my friends, lovely treatments at the sanctuary, really chilled out day, and guess what? Proper COCKTAILS in the evening, I had two very good (and quite large!) margaritas! It's exhausting doing not a lot though, still feel tired today. DH and the girls were fine, I'd left 6 bottles for A, but she only had three, but slept really well last night. I'd taken my breast pump with me toavoid engorgement because of not feeding, but just could not get enough out with the pump to feel comfortable. I ended up standing in the shower at the Sanctuary for about half an hour, hand expressing under the hot water as it was the only way I could get more comfortable. A didn't wake until 3am for a feed, OMG I was grateful (and had been sleeping in a puddle!)

Dandy (I think it was) - I know I could bypass the HV and go to the GP, but I'm not ready for that. I think I need to talk through everything first and try to unravel various issues I have before talking to a GP. I'm not sure which of our GPS to talk to either, I can't imagine talking to any of them. And I think I'm slightly in denial. Anyway, HV is coming round to see me here tomorrow morning; DD1 is at the childminder so it'll be a bit easier, hopefully.