May 2009: Brides and bibs

[EtherealFiByTheSea]

Here we go...

(not that i'm in any way criticising the sexy builder, you were CLASS.)

Am still giggling over the bit where he perked up a lot

sexy builder - having scanned through, my vote is definitely for grumpy

Day didn't get off to a great start. DH not meant to be back at work til tomorrow but got called in so I had to cancel meeting up with a friend and her 2DC as our dogs were being dropped back to us by the dog minder. However DH got back early afternoon and whilst DS and I went for a walk (DS slept and I had a sneaky Starbucks , DH put fresh bedding on our bed and the spare bed. I'm useless as I always struggle with the duvet but I do love fresh bedding . DH is definitely back in my good books!

momi - hope you're having a good evening. Forget about your nasty boss til tomorrow. FWIW, I think that's well out of order.

Jennster - shame your boss is leaving. Working closer in a branch you know could be good though. I'm still waiting to hear back on my proposal I put to my boss.

O does seem back to normal today but he's passed his bug on to 2 of his cousins

Hope everyone's having a good evening. DH has just ordered us Indian take away! Yum!

Ses My DH is te chief duvet cover putter oner too as I get in a right tangle over it.

So Grumpy admit it- we have you cornered!!!!!

dandy Hmmm I think you might be right. A sexybuilder with a fussy baby. Could also explain why sexybuilder left fairly early on.

momi about your boss. That was not on. Haven't got any advice to give (exept to keep the e-mail if it were ever needed as evidence), but I can give you my support

jenn Sorry to hear your boss is leaving. Hopefully your new boss will be very bit as nice as your old one.

ses A sneaky starbucks Just the thing I'd do! When we used to finish early at uni I was known to head into town for a bit of quiet time with a mag before heading home. No one knew.

And C was conceived in a similar secretive fashion, obviously I was deceiving ap at the time and not DH who was in on the whole thing of course. (I told ap that I had to work long shift, but in fact drove to a hotel to meet dh for some BD )

ses fresh bedding, indian takeaway?? Is your DH after something??? [hhmmm]

just had a quick scan back to check out Momi's employment problem, after seeing everyone's responses

Momi - agree with advice to keep email and check house insurance
-I would ask your DH or a friend to read it over and see what they think and how they would summarise it
-sometimes, particularly, when going through a low self-esteem patch, people react emotionally to things, and the letter may seem worse than what it actually is, because it's triggering feeling worthless. Regardless of what she wrote, it was very unprofessional. But still best to get an impartial opinion before you respond

• When responding, I would write that you were surprised by her comments and that you would appreciate it in future she could raise any issue she has with your conduct/performance in the correct and professional manner as set out in your contract/handbook. Perhaps suggest that you have an informal chat to discuss your coming back and the role and her expectations and how you may (or may not) meet them.

-Whatever you say, I would make the point you aren't happy with her email. You'll have a much stronger case later if you raise grievances you have as and when they arise.

Sorry, have to go now to put DD to bed
pesky kids getting in way of Mning

Lol Headless. You could be right!!

one last thing - when I say make point you aren't happy, don't use that phrase, just convey that impression. I would say call her and discuss over phone, but I think it's wise to have a written record. I would write saying further to her email, you would like a meeting to disucss things face to face (along lines of what I put above)

NB: From now on, keep a written record of all your conversations and meetings with this woman

Right, really am going now!

I really ought to post this in AIBU I guess but I shall post here mainly for ranting purposes.

As I said earlier, DS is 3 today. My MIL has been here all day, spoiling DS and generally making his day special. My step-mother came yesterday with some beautiful cupcakes, a present and a card. She also rang to sing to him this morning. My mother? She sent a card but has not rung to wish him a happy birthday. My brother (his only uncle) has not sent a card or a present and is unlikely to do so, even though I never forget his 3 childrens birthdays. I feel really sorry for DS. Of course he has no idea but he will in subsequent years. Even our neighbours have been in to wish him a happy birthday!

AIBU in being a bit irritated with my mother and brother? My mother never bothers with my birthday but I'm in my 30s and don't care. My DS is little and lovely and DOES care!

Oooh yes, good advice Dandy.

llare yanbu.. but if your M & bruv are like this with everyone then I suppose it's no surprise.. if it makes you feel any better dh's mum always forgets birthdays, needs reminding and still her cards very often arrive late. We have to phone her on the birthdays or she'd miss wishing ds etc happy birthday

so still no idea who sexy builder was then.. could still be a lurker you know!!!

llare My dcs are used to getting just a b'day card on the day because their gps live far away. Neither set of gp phones on the day, but they always get a b'day present at some point. They're used to it and it doesn't upset them, because they know they haven't been forgotten. As for your db, I have a feeling that he's probably like my dh and db and terrible at remembering other people's b'days. My db counts on his dp to remember and dh counts on me. My first reaction was YANBU, but then we have the same thing going on here and I don't mind.

dandy brilliant advice

Told DH about the whole sexybuilder mystery and he thinks that I get upto some absolutely pointless things on tinternet. Well, I said, better than sitting on my own watching telly

Llare - YANBU
Even a card with some money in would be ok IMO. All families tend to vary though. I always get my DBs and SIL a present whereas DH's family don't do this for his DBs, DSisters and other halves. They do always do something for nieces and nephews though.

Thanks all. I'm just ranting really. I guess I could ring her and tell her how his day went.

Grr

Salem my DH thinks our internet activities are hilarious. I dare not tell anyone else.

DS1 has discovered that if he tells us that he is poorly he gets extra attention at bedtime. Little monkey. He told me he was poorly because he ate the teddy earlier. I hope he didn't!

My old friend from school is visiting tomorrow. She is pregnant with twins(!) and has come to find out what life with 2 boys is like. Ha ha ha ha! I hope we don't put her off...

llare YANBU - I would be upset if I was in your position and at your ds's attention seeking
Momino looks like others have given sound advice... good luck

re saus's hen do, it was fun wasn't it- maybe we should plan a virtual Xmas party?

Have spoken to my mother. She told me that his birthday is tomorrow. I told her it was today. She told me it is definitely on the 28th. She did the same thing with my due date: she tried to convince me that I was wrong by 6 weeks! She didn't ask anything about his day and told me three times about a night out she is having on Thursday. I wish I could adopt my work colleague as my mother, she's ace and has far more to do with us than my own mother.

Oh I'd love to know who sexybuilder is.

Once again, the wisdom of Mumsnet amazes me, you lovely lovely ladies. ......sound advice Dandy take a bow......dunno why I'm so efusive this evening I'm not drinking. Perhaps it's me feeling optimistic about going back to work. I don't think I realised how down I was about going back.

porn shoes They're not my usual style....

Jenn I love the shoes, but I think I'd struggle to walk in them these days. I really need some high-heel walking practice. How do you feel about a 10 hour day? Sounds quite tough but great to get 20 hours over in 2 days. Much better than spreading work over 3 days. When are you going back?

Perhaps your name should be VampyJenn?

oooo I like the shoes

ooo likey likey shoes... I too struggle with heels these days... lots of lovelies in my wardrobe that i just don't wear these days...

re Jenn's shoes! I'd break my ankles wearing them! Very glam!

Momi - your line manager is a prize be-atch. I second what everyone else has said, keep notes of everything.

Llare - re your Mum!! Fancy trying to convince you that you don't know your own son's birthday! (at least you don't get home made cards like from my MIL2B. Actually, I suppose she is at least thinking of us...)

Visited an old friend today with her 2 week old baby who is so tiny - but she weighed the same as M did... blimey... can't remember M being that little anymore...

Zombie - yaaay lets have an xmas party!

Who the hell was sexybuilder? Sheesh, I don't even know and I snogged him! ... etc etc.... fnar....

Right, I have to go and finish packing.. off to my parents tomorrow, in preparation for The Big Day. Eek. I hope to come in and wave hello over the next few days.... wish me luck!

good luck- how exciting!