December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

Sorry for the long absence, been totally rushed off my feet lately! I seem to have far too much to do/go to at the moment and I am not a person who always responds well under pressure, I feel a bit flappy at the moment IYKWIM? Ah well!

Lenny the Bengal cat arrived this evening much to the children's delight! He is 16 months old, totally gorgeous and really good with them considering he's not used to children or lots of noise etc. BIL was originally bringing him last night and DD (who has been beside herself with excitement) was totally distraught when he phoned to say he wouldn't make it until today! The existing cats are wary and they're all making odd noises at each other but I'm hopefull they'll get along in time - it certainly has gone smoother so far than introducing new chickens did (touch wood) BIL is hoping to go travelling for a year in May so I guess we have him for at least 18 months (don't know that I'll give him back though)

BT FAB news! Congratulations! I do think lots of so called predictors are old wives tales but I was also really really unwell with DD compared to the mild nausea I had with the boys. OTOH the Chinese predictor said DS2 was a girl although the other 2 were right! When do you think you will have your first scan? With regard to gender specific toys - DD only really had the boy's old things and a few nice wooden or Lamaze bits I bought her until she was 1 but she absolutely loves girl's things. I definitely think they are pre-programmed to be more interested in certain things.

Skid, it does sound like you have had some conflicting advice about DSs eye but at least they are going to monitor him every 2 months. Will you see the same person at each appointment?

Clara, I don't watch loads of TV but I knew nothing of the SL hurricane until your FB post! I was a bit that it was not covered better here, DH knew nothing either and he watches loads of TV! How is everything with you now? Hope there was not too much damage in your house and things are starting to get sorted.

Buzzy, its interesting that pink is the first colour children recognise, it was DD's favourite colour (today it is purple) from around 20 months or so and also DS2s! DS1 was a bit older before he really spoke and knew colours and his favourite was definitely blue!

Clairey, I love your DSs Christmas list! Bless him DD says she wants a Tinkerbell film, a Tinkerbell costume and a ladybird umbrella She chose a Tinkerbell DVD to hire (must be something about the packaging that appeals to girls as she had no help from me!) from the library a few months back and has been slightly obsessed ever since. I have also bought her a lovely dolls house from ebay as she loves pretend play, I don't know where I'll hide it when it comes but can't wait to see her little face when she opens it!

Ambi and Arcadie - hi!

beckle - what you doing up this time of night? I'm 4 hours behind you and I'm thinking of going to bed soon! Nice to hear from you though. What is a bengal cat - not some sort of tiger??? I love that your dd is obsessed with Tinkerbell - dd2 is princess crazy - where did that come from?????

We're ok but no piped water yet. Apparently we may get some tomorrow but I am sure it will be short for ages. The school only open 8-12 and I have no idea when that will change. It's very depressing. I would like to go home early but we won't make a decision on that just yet.

Dh and I have decided to have a private scan - and we're having it tomorrow morning!

Clara, I hadn't realised how late it had got, I'd been doing some typing and wanted a cuppa to wind down before going to bed! Unsurprisingly I have been quite sleepy today and had a nice nap with DD this afternoon
A bengal cat is a hybrid cross between an Asian Leopard cat and a domestic feline, they are larger than ordinary cats and very playful! Lenny looks tabbyish but more spotty than stripey - some of them have real leopard-like spots. He's been great with the children so far though, putting up with prodding stroking from DD and playing with DS1 Unfortunately he is a great jumper/climber and likes to sleep on top of the kitchen cupboards so will need to try and kurb that habit although the cupboards are too high and I can't reach to get him down...
I really don't know where these obsessions come from with our LO's - I guess Disney and toy manufacturers etc know what they are doing! Mind you, I cannot believe how different girls are to boys - my boys (mostly) like to build stuff and play quite rough games but DD likes having teddy tea parties and things like that .
I can't imagine it is much fun where you are at the moment, was there a lot of damage in general to the island? Is coming home early possibly on the cards then? Must be hard, are the girls dealing with it all okay?

Ooh BT, good luck! x

Funnily I always thought my boys were really different in their likes and dislikes before DD came along - now I see far more similarities between them. Almost like boys and girls are given a basic base makeup upon which they build their personality, each is different but the root is the same - does that make any sense at all? (or am I waffling?!)

Scan went well, saw baby bouncing lots, heard heartbeat. Baby EDD is 8th June :)

Bookle - Lenny sounds gorgeous!

Oooh that's great BT. June seems such a long time away but I bet it will go fast. Are you still breastfeeding Daniel by the way or did you stop to get pregnant (not that you always need to - I am living proof of that!).

Beckle - that cat sounds brilliant. I would love to get a (normal) cat but dh is anti. He has agreed to a hamster but personally I think they can end up being more work than a cat.

FAB news BT

Lenny is gorgeous too, although I was woken at about 4 this morning when he managed to open my bedroom door and was perched ON TOP of it! He then proceeded to jump onto my wardrobe and settle down for a snooze... Did I mention he's a great climber/jumper?! I suspect he's mischief but love him already!

Clara, I think a cat can more work to begin with until they are happy to toilet outside but after that they just need feeding and a bit of fuss, they're great company and if you go away then a friend can just pop in and feed them. Hamsters are nice although children go through phases of playing with them so Syrians are often best (as they stay hand-tame even when not played with regularly). They are not much work though really, only cleaning once a week and checking food and water daily. Hamsters are nice pets to teach children responsibility but cats are more a part of the family

I agree - cats are wonderful pets. Neutered toms are generally very gentle and laid back. I've never had a kitten my cats have always been rescued cats, and I usualy end up with ones between 4mths and 1 year (I've had 4 in total over the years, only have 1 now). The younger they are the better especially if you have kids, there is the risk with a rescued cat that is older that they may not like children. Rescued charities are normally very good when it comes to ensuring cats are rehomed suitably.

BT - fab!

Clara, what's the latest on water? Sounds rather horrendous.

Clairey I do laugh at your DS' exploits. He sounds such a character, not to mention extremely bright.

I am a big cat fan from way back. There's something so comforting about listening to them purring. We have just handed back 2 fish we've looked after for 3 years and I can tell you I found them more of a faff than the cat!! But perhaps that's becuase fish don't give much back...anyway if I couldn't cope with cleaning a fish tank every few weeks I don't think I'd be much good with a hamster cage.

Bali was lovely but DD2 was a little madam on the plane coming back and threw a complete wobbly. One of the sort where they go "I DO want to be on the plane...I WANT to GET OFF the plane...I DON'T WANT to sleep...I want to hit Issy" and on and on in very wearying fashion much to the irritation of the whole plane and mortification of yours truly.

We seem to be plagued by nits at the moment. I'm getting very fed up with all the combing.

Buzzy - that sounds like DS on the plane to and from Spain! Glad you had a good time :)

FO - DS stopped BFing back in July.

I want a cat but no pets allowed

We went to the carnival last night. As expected ds was terrified but he did get into it a bit later. We didn't get home til nearly 10pm though and I had to wake dd up this morning. Hope she isn't being too evil at school today.

Have made the break from wc. We had a bit of a heart to heart and both admitted that we weren't really just friends. I think he wanted it to go in the direction of us having an affair, he said he loved both of us, cared a lot about me, didn't want to lose me etc. He does understand why I wouldn't be happy with that and said he does think I deserve more so we are having some distance for a bit, hopefully be able to be friends at some point If not at least I know I've done the right thing. But I am quite sad about it at the moment and am missing him a lot.

Saw scan pics on fb BT, very good!

Buzzy glad you enjoyed Bali but the plane journey sounds a nightmare! Boo to nits as well, we have escaped having them yet...

Beckle I was thinking ds wasn't very boyish until we were in sainsburys and he dragged me to the tv display to watch the grand prix

BT most of the cats I've had have been neutered toms, they are far more laid back and less highly strung than females IMO!

Buzzy, that plane journey doesn't sound fun, I did snigger at "I want to hit Issy" as thats the kind of thing Evie would say! She loves winding up her brothers, especially when she's bored! Nits don't sound good, I bet they are a nightmare to get out of your girl's hair?! I dread the day DD gets them, they are bad enough to pick out of short boys hair but longish thick curly hair

Clairey, probably a good thing to take a break from WC, if things were getting close between you then theres more chance you'd get hurt. Sorry you are missing him though, perhaps he will miss you enough to break it off with his gf, if not I hope you can be friends again in the future. I too giggle at your DS's antics, not sure I'd have giggled at the floor washing incident if I'd been you though! at the Grand Prix, funny how some boys love all things motoring - DS1 has always been obsessed with cars and motors (as is DH)

never have time to post these dyas but wanted to quickly say but well done clairey - I am very impressed at your noble and restrained behaviour re WC. I know it must be horrible atm but be very proud that you absolutely did the right thing, and he will either stay with gf but always think fondly about the good and noble woman he allowed to get away, or will decide it's you he really wants and leave gf (fingers crossed for latter)

nits here too buzzy, and yes much worse with long hair... glad you had a nice holidays though

clara - how are you doing? Also shocked at lack of media coverage here

beckle - amazing pics on fb - you should definitely go professional!

news here - DS2 has been teething FOREVER and is waking every 2 hours in the night (sigh), also slightly worried about DS1's language - I am already convinced he will be dyslexic as DH is (which means he has a 40-50% chance), and he has some early predictors (doesn't help that i am giving tutorials on it atm!) - and now am wondering if he qualifies as a 'late talker' - do all your DC use pronouns and tenses correctly(ish)? DS1 still says 'me am hungry' 'me am did go to playground' and stuff like that. Not sure if that is just the slower end of typical...

Skid & Beckle, thanks, but not sure I'd have him tbh. Or rather I would because I am gagging for it the temptation would be too strong but I would never trust him after he has shown me how willingly he would cheat on gf (and not just a drunken shag or whatever but he would quite happily have a full on affair with feelings involved with me) so ultimately me and him getting together wouldn't be the best thing.

Skid ds does speak properly but has since the beginning really (as in has never really used me instead of I etc). And everyone tells me how advanced his speech is so I am aware he isn't exactly normal! But looking at other boys around his age I think how your ds speaks sounds about right. Does he speak clearly? As in can other people understand him? I know a few who are still only understood by their mothers at 3...

I think having the knowledge you do though must make you hyper aware of any indicators, which is good but could also lead to you reading stuff into things that the rest of us wouldn't even pick up on iyswim.

Does he still go to nursery? What do they say?

wow clairey I am so impressed by your strength of character and also dismayed at the weakness of his! I think you are quite right not to trust him - what a git and his poor old gf. You deserve much better. Did you ever see that guy who was your friend's brother or something - the one whose photo we saw on facebook?

Thanks for the advice re DS1. He's not very clear although I think people can understand at least half of what he says. His vocabulary is pretty good I think but his grammar and pronunciation seem poor compared to his peers - but then maybe I am comparing him unfavourably to his big sister who was more like your DS.... his big sister whose teacher told me at parents evening "she's doing really well academically blah blah... HOWEVER, there have been some friendship issues.." Basically she bosses everyone around and tells them what to do and this has (understandably) got some people's backs up! The shame the shame

Skid - I was just about to say I wonder whether you are comparing ds1 to his sister when you said it yourself! On the whole and from what I have seen of friend's ds's girls do seem to speak clearer, earlier. I am sure there are exceptions (eg clairey's ds) but it doesn't sound like your ds is anything but normal for his age. Some children barely speak at all at this age.

FWIW dd2 speaks pretty well and a lot better than most of her (male) contemporaries (I don't know many girls of her age) but insists on using "her" instead of "she" eg "her did it to me" instead of "she did it to me" - I have no idea why! She also has a few other cutisms that I refuse to correct - spaghetti is basgetti and St Lucia is Belusha.

Clairey - I think you have the right idea with the WC, it always sounded a little like he was taking advantage of you (I hope you now don't get together because I will feel bad for saying that!). Hopefully another gorgeous man will be along soon. If I ever meet any single men when I am back in Cheltenham I will send him your way!!

hi clara! I saw on fb that you are coming back to the Uk in a couple ofweeks? How exciting. I get the impression that you have never been very keen on St. Lucia. And I'm sure it will be nice to settle down, get DDs into school and relax into a boring one-country lifestyle!

Thanks also for advice on DS's language. Love the 'cuteisms' too - I remember DD used to say 'ladypop' for lollypop lady, and 'wetty' for wet which I just loved and tried to encourage by never ever saying the correct word, but sadly she stopped and now speaks like a (very strict) 55 year old headmistress

Ha ha to your strict 55 year old headmistress dd. My dd1 told her sister the other day that she "wasn't being respectful" when she was trying to pull her about the other day. I think they had just had an assembly on "respectfullness" at school!

Yup coming home in 4 weeks. I can't wait. This place is too small, too full of creepy crawlies and too hot.

Skid, FWIW my DD definitely doesn't use corrct pronouns or tenses a lot of the time. She is pretty clear and is understood 90% of the time - she's definitely much more of a chatterbox than DD1 who does have dyslexic/dyspraxic tendencies - but didn't let that get in the way of reading at age 4 as she compensated by having an exceptional memory (no phonic learning for her).

Clara - what's happening re flooding at the door?!!

100% agree with you clairey - although I think in your shoes I'd be very tempted to have a sh*g or 2 with him just for fun if he ever did leave gf - but I guess only if you felt you wouldn't develop other feelings for him since as you say it would be very difficult to trust him now.

Met DD2's german grandmother last weekend and another meet-up today before she leaves the country. Nice to meet her but rather strained with no common language. Will try to take a photo today though.

(visions of buzzy and dd2's German granny smiling, nodding and waving at each other across the kitchen table)

The rain was viscious today and once all the drains blocked with crap from the (unpaved) road above our house the water just came flooding down our driveway and through our guest cottage (get us!) and started coming into our main house. Me and my cleaner were luckily both at home and managed to keep it under control until thankfully the rain stopped. It still looks pretty dodgy out there - dh trying to make sure all drains are unblocked (mostly with silt) just in case. To be honest I feel drained (no pun intended) by it all and just want to go home. Watch this space.

In the short term I am going to order Dominos pizza for supper as can't be bothered to cook!

Hooray for you coming back stranded :)

FO - glad you are ok about your WC, I think you have done the right thing. I would not trust him tbh.

DrSkid - at your bossy DD! The nursery have commented that DS's language is very advanced - he is quite descriptive and talks a lot, but he still gets grammar a bit wrong, he will refer to girls as "he" instead of "she", and still says "me" instead of "I" - he'll say "me want choc-choc" but he'll also say "I hungry".

Buzzy - welcome to my world, I don't speak huge amounts of Spanish, DH speaks hardly any so it is a strain when we go over and see my dad's family as they are all gabbling away at each other and no-one is bothering to translate

Skid don't be too impressed by my strength of character, I haven't exactly been squeaky clean in all of this. I have always known he has a gf but I still let us get as close as we did, still cuddled up to him on the sofa, still invited him round etc. The difference I suppose is that I feel guilty about it.

Buzzy no chance of not developing feelings, already have really which is why we need the break.

Clara sounds awful, glad you stopped the water and fingers crossed there is no more.

Skid at bossy dd, my dd quite likes following people around so they'd probably get on well!

thanks for all the feedback on your DC's language. I think I have underestimated my DS after really listening to him this weekend (obviously a rare even ). I think he actually uses pronouns and tenses quite well but because he always says 'me' instead of 'I' it sort of sounds worse than it is. He uses she/he/him/her etc correctly and does mark his tenses just not quite correctly ('me did go' and 'me will see it') - just sounds bad because of the 'me'

BT - that is brilliant the nursery has said his language is so good after you the HV being slightly concerned about his language a year ago. Just goes to show how we shouldn't worry or listen to HVs [should take my own advice emotion]

clara - eek, poor you (although not so poor you at guest cottage (!!) AND cleaner!) - must be pretty scary. Is it possible to come home even earlier or is there too much to do?

clairey - I am still impressed - I know you probably shouldn't have cuddled up on the sofa but at the end of the day it is HIS responsibility to act respectfully towards his gf so he is the one who should feel bad if anyone does. Have you heard from him recently? How are you feeling?

Went to a birthday party with DD yesterday - and watched on mortified as she ordered everyone around "open the parcel now, the music has stopped, open it now, that's it, good boy" where did she come from??

god I am sooo far behind and I am quite confused about who is who with all these name changes!

anyway evie is very excited about her upcoming party (although she doesn't have enough friends from nursery so I have to make up numbers from else where). she is getting her sister's balance bike