December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

Hello lovelies, just a quick post to let you know Flynn Jago arrived on the 22nd, 8lb 7.5oz, got to have a natural, no intervention labour and delivery at the local maternity hospital, such a contrast to Kaesha's dramatic entrance to the world, with theatre,resuss etc!

Am very sore (forgot about this bit!) but feeling a bit better everyday, Flynn is feeding well and his big sister seems generally pretty happy that he's here! Though keeps asking when he's going to talk run about and be able to play hide and seek

I will probably fail miserably at keeping up with the thread again but I do read quite often even if I don't manage to post very much!

congratulations

Congrats Melly!!

Congratulations Melly

BT yes to treading carefully, before we did get too close considering we knew that we both fancied each other but we have now set boundaries. He was here with us all afternoon on friday and it was fine so hopefully we can be just friends.

Are you still in spain? Hope you are having/had a great time

Yes still in Spain, flying back tomorrow night. It has been lovely - very hot!

Pleased things are going well with your window cleaner At least he is being honest with you and you know what the situation is.
Any more bizarre offers from your ex-H?

Glad you've had a good time.

No further offers from H, but he is now saying he won't be able to have the dc much anymore because he has started doing a course with work and so will need his weekends to study. Bet he will still find time for the pub though.

Melly - congrats, love the name. Did you have him in Stroud maternity unit? I hope they're going to keep that place open....

Clairey - what a w**r thing for your ex H to say - like he's doing you a favour or something, not taking the dc's because he loves them and wants to spend time with them. If I was ever in the unfortunate position of not living with my dh and for some strange reason he got custody, I would make sure I saw the children at every opportunity I got - nothing else would matter.

BT - glad you are enjoying Spain. I have just had a weekend in Barbados. The weather was atrocious, very stormy and lots of rain, but we still had a brilliant time. We even went down in a submarine!

Cazzy - saw your fb comments about the child benefit. We are one of those families which will suffer as dh earns just over the threshold but I of course earn zilch. But I realise we are in a fortunate position that dh still has a job so I can't moan too much. It just annoys me the way they are doing it - and makes me feel, as a SAHM, literally worthless.

congrats Melly hope all is going well and you are breathing in that beautiful newborn smell

clairey - your ExH is beyond belief! I don't know how you manage to remain civil with him (if you do!) Do you think the DC will be OK with seeing less of him?

Glad things seem to be sorted with WC although it is still a dangerous situation, don;t you think? As in you haven't suddenly stopped fancying each other.... if he finished with his GF would you be interested?

Glad you had/are having nice holidays clara and BT

Off to see what cazzy has been saying about child benefit...

Clairey, full sympathies here for awful exHs! I wonder at what particular moment in life it dawns on them what they're missing out on?

What's with the child benefit? I take it its being cut or axed? Hasn't existed here for about 30 years...

Clara and BT, a little bit envious of your hols but we're having lovely Spring weather here so it doesn't feel so bad! Also looking forward to Bali in 4 weeks time . My brother and family have been on the Florida Keys this last week so not so far away from you Clara!

Beckle, DD1 is doing remarkably well. Helped that she visited her Nana (exH's mother) last week and enjoyed that. I'll let you know how the Gifted Ed Centre thing works out. Bengal cat Lenny sounds lovely!

DD2 had her first half day at her new childcare centre today and was OK mostly. Another half day on Thur and then full on from next week. Its going to be sad to say goodbye to her old centre and I hope I don't end up regretting moving her.

at Bali buzzy - wow!

Glad your DD1 is doing OK, and hope DD2's nursery transistion goes well

The Tories are cutting Child Benefit to families where one person earns more than £44,000. It is a bit wierd - you'd think they'd just say families who earn more than £XX - why does it matter if one person or two earns it? As clara says it's not nice for SAHMs. We are lucky (?) in that we're not affected

They are cutting child benefits for all high tax earners... but I am torn. I understand the need for the cuts and yes it should be the rich that suffers, but Tim earns more than 44K and I earn less than 44K but its not like we have shed loads left over the end of the month

Skid I barely talk to him tbh. Outwardly I'm all "hooray look it's daddy! yay" whilst inside I'm thinking fuck off and die you wanker (I'm a nice person really)

As for wc, yes still dangerous but worth a shot. Hopefully the limits we have imposed will help (eg quick hug/peck on cheek to say hello/bye is ok but hugging just because we can't keep our hands off each other want to isn't) Would I be interested? erm dunno...well yes obviously in a way, we get on so well and I think he is completely gorgeous but then again I wouldn't trust him now and there are things about him that are fine in a friend but would probably piss me off in a partner. Also he is quite set in his life and his gf has kind of had to accomodate that whereas I am a bit more selfish and would want someone to accomodate me as well (as a two way thing I mean, not that I want it all my way )

Er not that I've given it much thought, of course

Child benefit thing makes no sense to me, don't understand why it isn't based on household income. Seems v strange that a family with one person working and earning 44k would not get it yet a family with a joint income of 86k (if each earning 43k) still could.

I'm in agreement with the comments here about the CB cut, we will lose it as DH is just over the threshhold but I earn much, much less than him. Yet a couple on a combined income of £80K can still get it!!
There is a mechanism in place to means test it - it is called the Tax Credit system. But because Labour brought it in, Cameregg won't use. Bunch of vindictive, lazy c*s.

Clairey, speaking of which, your exH needs a good slap and a reminder that parenting is NOT optional and going down the pub is FFS Think you are being utterly amazing, and don't blame you one bit for your internal monologue

Back from Spain, glad to be home tbh. Though miss the nice weather!

at the 'fuck off and die you wanker'!!! I heartily agree btw. I think it is great you are able to keep up outward appearance of 'yay it's daddy'. My mum used to go on and on to me about what a bastard my dad was etc and it was really horrible for me and my brother - especially as she didn't even wait until they'd split up!

Hmmm, does sound like you're walking on very thin ice with the WC but hopefully feelings will subside and friendship will overcome lust!

I think the thing that annoys me most about the CB thing is that it really is hitting single parents hardest - a single parent earning £45,000 with 2 or 3 children will be struggling anyway without this. Makes me so the way the Tories make these despicable moral judgements in their legislation - if you're married then you can have a tax break, if you're a single parent then we'll take away your child benefit

Skid I am trying to avoid that but it is hard sometimes especially if dd is in one of her "my daddy is a superhero/amazing/wonderful" type moods. I just grit my teeth and tell myself it's fantasy especially as at other times she will be saying that he doesn't even know how to brush her hair, doesn't play with them, only feeds them mcdonalds and cocopops etc.

Glad you're pleased to be home BT

Clairey - it's a tough one. Do you remember my friend who escaped from her abusive h with her two children? Even though he was utterly horrible to his son, he (the son) still craved his attention and was over-the-moon if his daddy spoke to him or played with him. It's like the less attention they get, the more they want it. It's so sad. You're doing a great job.

There seems to be revolution fermenting over the CB annoucement - but I fear there is worse to come and this will soon all be forgotten once they really start making cuts.

Stranded - how is your friend getting on? I was thinking about her the other day. I hope she is settling in to her new life okay. Sadly children can have quite selective memories, I understand how hard is must be that her DS stills wants his daddy :(

BT (sorry can't call you karawhatsherface) - she's doing really well, although she still doesn't have a permanent job. But they all sound so much happier. He is still trying to get custody of the children and accusing her of child abduction so I think she is pretty focussed on fighting him. Luckily he handed their passports over to allow her to leave so I don't think she can be done for child abduction. But it's qute worrying still. I am hoping to see her in Florida in a few weeks time.

Hi stranded yes I was at Stroud, such a wonderful maternity unit, the care and attention was amazing, I feel very lucky to live in this corner of England.

I am breathing in that new baby smell all I can, especially as I know this is my last baby, he's already grown out of his newborn stuff at 2 weeks

clara - glad your friend is doing well. I'm sure you're right that they can't do her for abduction if he handed the passports over. She must be so proud of herself for getting away.

clairey - you are a saint. I couldn't bear seeing my exH feeding my DC crap and not even playing with them - let alone bigging him up to them Are you going to divorce him btw or just stay separated?

of the new baby smell melly! I bought DS2 shoes (well slippers) yesterday so he is officially not a little baby anymore He's only 7 months but loves 'walking' outside and umpteen pairs of soaking wet socks and cold feet later I thought I'd take the plunge... he even got one of those Clarks 'first shoes' photos taken

Clara I was also wondering how she was the other day, mst be even harder for her to hear her ds wanting him because he was actually abusive towards the dc too not just her Glad she is ok though.

Skid definitely divorce but waiting out the 2 years separation so it is cheaper and easier.

at growing up ds2, you'd better have another one soon

Ooh I have a date tomorrow. DD's best friend's uncle. Don't actually fancy him but hey, it gets me out! (Is that mean??)

On chicken pox wait again, they have to get it one of the times they are exposed surely??

ooh how exciting clairey - how did that come about? Did he just ask you out? Do you def not fancy him or could you be persuaded if he was amazing company? Be sure to come on and tell us all about it!

Definitely no more babies for me

Skid - how did your ds2 get to be 7 months already???? Surely he's only just been born!

Clairey - good for you. All dates are good whether yu fancy him or not - it's good practise if nothing else. I hope he's taking you somewhere nice.

When dd's friend's mum first found out I was single she said "oh I should set you up with BIL"

A couple of weeks ago (so nearly a year later) he was at school with her one day and she pointed me out to him telling him I was single. Then we walked part way home together and I spoke to him for about 5 seconds and then she sent me a text asking what I'd thought of him and saying that he thought I was nice and would like to take me out. So I just said ok thinking it would be a good experience if nothing else...

Am now friends with him on fb so you can have a look if you like (PB-my newest friend)
He is quite a bit older, and does look it imo and is a bit skinny for my liking but we might get on well.

Have just spent the afternoon with wc again though so that won't help my objectivity...

OK you have a few PBs as friends. Is he on a boat? If so, I can't see him!! I think that sounds quite promising anyway. Hang on you just said he was skinny and the guy on the boat isn't skinny... now I don't know who he is AND I feel like a crazy stalker!!!!!

Right just come and tell us all about it when you get back, ok?!

I'm sure no-one remembers this but I have a friend who got pg at the same time as me (with DS2) and then lost her baby. She has been struggling to get pg ever since and was booked into the fertility clinic and thought she'd never have another child (already has a DD) and today she told me she is 11 weeks pg!!! I am so so chuffed for her Funny how the whole world seems like a brighter place when something like this happens