December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

Mine both brush their own teeth They'll be the ones with fillings at a young age then. Although tbh dd brushes hers very well and ds is getting better.

BT yes he still likes pink, but is getting more boyish now, maybe the haircut has changed his leanings

Hello lovely ladies just poking my head in to say hello and hope you're doing ok, I'm due to pop out second baba anytime now, am totally rubbish at keeping up with threads but will try harder (hmm me thinks I'm being overly optimistic as about to have 2 people to look after rather than 1 ) ah well I can but dream of being organised.

Hi Melly, do let us know when he or she arrives! I love it that we still stay in touch.

Re toothbrushing my approach has been similar to the offer them vegetables 20 times philosophy. DD2 is now quite keen on toothbrushing but I don't make a big deal out of it, and it certainly doesn't get done every night. BT you sound like a star for not giving him sugar etc - I'm sure he will be fine for a while yet.

Well done skid on the toilet training front. DD2 is no-where near this yet and I think I'm going to leave it now til its summer here. I'm moving her to a different nursery in October which will be stressful enough.

You'll never guess but DD1's father turned up out of the blue yesterday Apparently back in the country for 1 week (why????? not telling me) and wants to take DD1 up to his Mum's house for 4 days from tomorrow. I could hardly say no but am very worried its going to put all our hard work back a month. Sigh.

Buzzy - whhhhaaat? How bizarre - he'd only just left hadn't he? And flying from the UK to NZ is quite a feat....do you know why he came back? I hope it doesn't affect your dd's emotions too much and she doesn't think he'll keep coming back.

Hi Mellymooks - good luck with the new baby! I found the 2nd much easier to deal with (eg I actially put her down for quite long periods of time) but looking after two was quite a shock! Having said that, it's great now that they play together and I am so glad we decided to have another.

We're on hurricane watch here, although luckily so far they have all missed us by quite a way. We had some very wierd weather yesterday while hurricane Earl was passing to the north but not stormy. Otherwise the dd's start school again this week with two mornings of "orientation" (or "orange station" as dd2 calls it), then full time next week. I am looking forward to them going back (and dd1 starting reception) but dreading the first few days as I know there will be plenty of screaming clinging tears.

Buzzy, can't believe he just turned up like that.

Good to see you melly, keep us up to date.

Well done on the potty training skid and at the dry nights. Both dc still in night nappies here, think ds will get it before dd...esp as he is properly dry in the day before her

Lol at orange station Clara . Hurricane watch must be a bit scary.

Am having a goodbye summer bbq tomorrow afternoon, hope people turn up unlike the shambles that was my birthday. Asked people to reply and only about half have

Yes he only left on 27 July. The only thing I can imagine is a death in his family. I must admit it has quite unsettled me too - we were just getting into a routine.

How was the BBQ clairey? Any sign of hurricanes Clara?

I went to a dinner tonight of all the mums in my neighbourhood who had babies in Dec 2007. Its called "PIN" group here - kind of like ante-natal groups but organised by your home visitor after your baby is born if that makes sense. Anyway it was nice to catch up with them. Its funny though I think I know more about some of you guys than I do them even though we're basically a group formed for the same purpose and we can actually talk face to face. Unfortunately I could only get a babysitter for 1 hour so just had a glass of wine and left :(

Sounds like a good setup buzzy, shame you couldn't stay long. I'm the same, go into more detail/personal stuff on here than in RL, only people on here know the details of what happened with h for example. In rl I'm more likely to just get on with it but on here I feel more able to whinge talk freely.

BBQ was good thanks, house got trashed though! Think there were 16 kids here aged between 9 and 2 and at one point all except the very youngest were piled into the bunkbeds. Luckily they stayed out of my room!

Glad the bbq went well Clairey - I remember seeing your post about your birthday

Buzzy - no hurricanes yet (they are all going north of us, but sucking away all our air so it is crazy heat here again) - but just saw NZ had an earthquake today? Did you feel it? The dd's get earthquake drill at school as we are on a fault line but luckily so far there haven't been any that I have even felt since living here.

OK I am in celebration mode - LAST DAY OF THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. Thank f**k. The girls had orientation on Wed and thurs this week and it seemed to go ok. Dd1 had a little cry on her first day but was fine on her 2nd day (it helps that she knows most of the children in her class). dd2 went in ok then cried and threw herself on the floor until she realised I wasn't coming to get her.2nd day she clung to me and had to be prised off me but was apparently fine after about 5 minutes of screaming (she is a total drama queen).

Hi Clara, yes a pretty serious earthquake very close to Christchurch which rivals Wellington as NZ's largest city so pretty extensive damage. About 600km from me so didn't feel it (4.30am too). Pretty scary though - in Wellington we always expecting we might get an earthquake and we do get lots of little one but this is on very different scale.

glad you weren;t affected buzzy. I was near the epicentre of a 7.2 earthquake in Mexico once - very very scary

clara - I'm sooo with you on rejoicing the last day of the holidays although I am maybe a tiny bit as well. Think DD will be fine on Monday as she already has loads of friends although my entire family have a wager on me crying . at your drama queen DD2 - she sounds so like my DD!

glad BBQ went well clairey - our bunk beds often have 6+ children on them too!

Well potty training has taken a bit of an unexpected turn - DS seems to be holding poo in - for 2 or 3 days! Is this normal??? Why is he doing it? Have I traumatised him??

Oh and he has a severe squint in both eyes and might need an operation my poor little baby. He needs more tests first and might be long sighted which might mean he can try glasses first but from extensive googling (I know, I know) I reckon it's going to be an op

skid :( about the squint

Buzzy a friend is in Christchurch and says it was quite scary. Did you feel anything?

ohh and about the poo - dd1 and Evie did this...with dd1 I bribed with chocolste buttons; evie just worked it out.

Hello all!

Have just got back from my hols in Brid (we were in a Park Resorts Caravan at Skipsea Sands, about 20 mins away). And I had NOOOOO internet on my phone, bloody 3!!!

We had a good time but glad to be home! We were very lucky with the weather, windy and showery Saturday, Sunday and Monday but rest of week was gorgeous. Evening entertainment was a bit naff but to be expected. Uber posh caravan was fab! We had a king size bed which was handy as DS slept with us most night - didn't like the narrow single beds, fell out twice :(

DShad a lovely time swimming, going to the beach and running around like a loon around our caravan with his big brother (who mostly had fun apart from a few strops and sulks). And he did well in the evening entertainment.

Buzzy - at dd1's dad just turning up! How frustrating for you, it does seem very odd. LOvely for dd1, but I imagine it will unsettle her again :( Did his sister not know, or do you not keep in that close contact with her?
Deffo going to go back to the keep offering the toothbrush thing, sometimes he will do it sometimes not.
We are going to start potty training in October, once we come back from our holiday in Spain to see my dad.

Saw about the Earthquake in NZ, glad you weren't affected Buzzy. Clara -fingers crossed those hurricanes stay away!!

Skid - holding in poo seems to be a very common thing with children at this age, particularly boys (why?). It is happening to at least two friends on mine. One is convinced it is a control issue. Another that her son had a bout of constipation and is now afraid to poo because it previously hurt.

I remember one of my friends feeding her son prune juice when he was this sort of age - not sure if it helped or not!

Buzzy - glad you were not affected by the quake, I am just off to have a look at the news about it, how scary for Christchurch.

BT - glad you had a good holiday and the weather behaved itself!

about ds' eyes skid.

Was surprisingly unemotional about dd starting school, probably in part due to H insisting on coming along and annoying me.

He has now decided he wants to get back togetehr and has been pestering me every day to agree, even though I told him it wasn't going to happen. Monday's deal was "I'll agree to more babies", yesterday's "we can go to Ikea"

Was v blunt with him in the end so hopefully he will now leave me alone.

at your H's tactics clairey! Which tempted you most? Glad you told him where to go...

Day 2 of back at work, nanny with DS's, DD at school - I am loving it!!! Only work mornings so don't miss them too much but Oh to drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot, to have adult conversations, to use my withered brain, love it!!!

Thanks for advice re poo - think he's getting better slowly...

Skid I think it says a lot that although I have always wanted more babies I wasn't even tempted. Or maybe for a nanosecond where I thought it would be nice for all my babies to have the same dad and be a 'proper family' but then I saw sense!

A bit of work. still can't figure out what I want to do...[waster]

don't be too clairey - yesterday DS2 starved himself from 5.30 am until when I got home at lunchtime . The poor nanny was at her wit's end. Then he fed constantly all afternoon and all night. Poor little mite, I thought it was all going too well. He's so happy whne I'm with him, but my neighbour told me she could hear him crying all morning [maternal guilt x1000 emotion]

Re having another baby - my (same)neighbour is not with her son's dad but they are thinking about having another because they like the idea of both having the same father, they both want another and are both single. The mum is a bit in turmoil about how the baby might be conceived though - turkey baster vs. traditional!! Could that be an option??

Are you still looking at courses? I wonder if it's worth just getting any job to give you more of an idea of what you do/don't like? My DH worked in a bank for 2 years and it was so awful he decided to become an academic!!

Back from my week in Australia, it was lovely! Although DD2 did fall off a chair at a cafe and crack her head on the table leg - cue trip to local A&E to get inch long cut "glued" shut and no more swimming in the pool She was incredibly brave though - helped by the fact that she couldn't see the cut or the rather large amount of blood. On the other hand I almost fainted - TG my mum was there to hold DD with a cold compress to her head while I lay my head on the table for 5 mins until the faintness passed

Rather surreal to have been away while all this drama has been happening in NZ. It was only on the news in Oz for 1 night while here its still front page a week later. Those poor people in Chch. I have a cousin who lives there who's normally on FB every day but no posts so I'm guessing no connection. Apparently there are now only 11 streets without water...

Cazzy, are the BP meds helping?

Skid - nasty neighbour for making you feel guilty. I'm sure he didn't cry all morning. What did the nanny say? Sorry to hear about DS' eyes too.

Go clairey! We made a random stop at the Brisbane IKEA but only had 30 mins. Did make me feel nostalgic. No IKEA in NZ!!

BT, we had pretty good weather too. Not as good as some other years but fab compared to NZ winter! Had a very 3 bedroom lux apartment with amazing beach view at bargain price as its supposedly low season. No I haven't had a huge amount of contact with his sister as yet but will see her in 2 weeks when its school hols here (end of Term 3) so may find out more then. Don't think it was a family death as surely DD1 would have known.

Poor DD2 Buzzy! Hope she is okay, it is frightening when stuff like that happens!

Skid - yeah I really don't think your neighbour helped!! Need to give the Nanny and your ds2 some time. I'ms sure she has experience with these kind of situations. Not quite sure what else your neighhbour expected you to do

Clairey - at your ex H's bizarre offers - so you weren't even a little bit tempted then? I bet it times like these remind you that you did the right thing!

oh gosh buzzy your poor DD - I reckon I would have been similar with the fainting! Hope your friend is OK - must be horrid coming back to all that

BT and buzzy - to be fair to my neighbour, she is quite a good friend and she didn't tell me unprovoked - we were talking about it (the nanny had obviously told me he wasn't happy) and she said it. TBH I would rather know . Anyway he was a lot better yesterday so hopefully we are over the worst of it

Is anyone else's DC being a little trying atm? My DS1 is constantly whining/crying/tantrumming - he's driving me insane

Eek buzzy, scary stuff. DD is very proud of her scar from where she cut her head open though!

Half days at achool very annoying, nearly forgot to pick dd up yesterday, looked at the clock and it was 12.59-luckily we only live over the road!

Skid I saw a job I thought about applying for (council, PT) but everyone put me off. Job centre advisor told me I was overqualified and it was the wrong hours etc to benefit me financially. H said "how can you think about working when ds isn't even at preschool?", friend told me childcare was going to be a nightmare and that I wouldn't find anyone that would be willing to do school/preschool runs. And then my mum said she thought it wouldbe too much for me to juggle on my own and that I should wait til ds is at school. Also said that because of the timing they'd get loads of applications from mums whose dc are all at school and who don't have my childcare 'issues'. Plus it was a short deadline which apparently usually means they already have an internal candidate and are advertising it as a formality.

So I basically felt really unsupported and like it would all be too difficult

I'm surprised by the childcare thing - here there are loads of childminders who do school runs (charge about £4/hour). Sorry everyone was so negative about it , maybe next time you should just go for it and see what happens? Or do you think it was a case of everyone saying what you were really feeling - i.e. you don't feel you/DS are quite ready for you to be away from him? How do you feel about the job now? Do you wish you had applied? If so, I guess you just keep looking?

FO - sorry you felt unsupportive :(

I think to be honest that its a problem you will face - being overqualified, but you will probably find that the ones you aren't overqualified will be full time and require full time childcare :(

If you ever fancy getting into what I do then message me on FB and I'll tell you about it, at the moment Arise are still looking for ACPs, but they won't be for much longer as they don't run training courses over the Xmas period. I'll give you an honest assessment of whether it is worth your while or not.

Clairey, oh I hope you weren't too dispirited by all that negativity! As Skid says, what do YOU feel you'd like to do? There is quite a body of research that suggests that children in single parent households where one parent works can often have better academic outcomes than in equivalent families where the parent does not work (of course this is over the whole life of the child not at a specific point in time). I think the theory is that single parents who work teach their children coping strategies or something like that. Anyway my point is not to let H make you feel guilty about wanting to return to work if you want to. And IME you can always find childcare if you think creatively enough. I now have a 16 girl from a local secondary pick up DD1(8) from school and bring her home and stay with her until I get home. I'm not suggesting you do similar for a 2yo but there are lots of people out there in similar situations and support networks are around if you look for them.
The Job Centre person's point about financial advantages seems pretty important though. Did she suggest what WOULD be an advantageous number of hours to work?