August 2008 - Things That Shout 'Mum' in the Night

[UndeadLentil]

Ta da ...

Frozen North makes me think of the Philip Pullman books... hope you have a lovely hol Sazz and a lovely lie-in tomorrow .

Ann sorry about your night and your keyboard. Is it just me or is there something rather Beckettian (or something) about the d being broken so dp becomes merely p? It must be really stressful that Seb is still waking did you try any changes after the other week (or was it just the other day - bleary)?

Well it all went tits up sleep wise, so no I couln't make any changes yet. No iea what was going on last night. P having lie in atm, so he better not complain about being tire later.

Seriously why not just wake him and say look I know you've worked all week but I've been up ALL NIGHT please hop up and take over and let me recover?

You've had such a tough time the last while.

Ah VG I just on't want to go there tbh. He was being all martyre etc. He in't get much more sleep than me anyway, because of Seb's wailing, sobbing etc.
An I just really nee a break from this crap.

I'm really sorry.

What's the situation on the night feeds now? Sorry I don't mean to interrogate but sometimes I am not here and come back and catch up quickly and often miss things. Are you still feeding during the night, is that why he is waking, or is it habit? Did you try a grobag? What size is Seb, I can send you one if you don't have?

Hmm still feeing at night. I'm so tire I can't face the thought of going col turkey on the night fees. I think he's waking from habit now - I think it's like Steaky sai at the time, he now expects me to come an give him a fee so he won't settle till I o. Although last night he wasn't settling full stop.
I on't have a grobag - not sure what size he is at all either actually he hasn't been measure since he was a couple of weeks ol. What sizes o grobags come in? Seb's on the small size for his age I think.

My post looks so silly with the missing letters.

Grobags come in months, FB me your address this morning and I will send you a 12-18mo one.

Between grobags and oranges there is a solution for Seb and sanity for you.

TBH it might be one of those ones where once you and p are "d"-ing one another again, dp actually has to take over for a couple of nights, if he will be calm rather than frustrated about it. Seb will most likely be cross if you either don't feed him, or offer him a cup/bottle, but dp might be able to get him to take it OR realise it's not worth it and go back to sleep? Doea he actually have his eyes open when he wakes or is he crying with his eyes closed?

Yes eyes are open, an he generally is either on all fours or staning up when I come in.
I just on't see P oing that. I really can't see that he will agree to it at all. But I think you're right about what Seb's reaction to it will be, so really not sure how to eal with it.

Perhaps then another thing to do - which is going to sound a bit heartless given that you are feeling sleepless and end-of-tethery - and also possibly unlikely - is for dp get to him with the cup/bottle before he gets into enough of a state / awake enough to have actually got up iyswim? I found that the nights I got into ds on the first few cries I could sort him quickly and put him back to sleep easily, whereas on the crazed nights where you desperately thought he might settle himself back, he was absolutely desolate by the time I got in. Having said that, when ds was going through his bad sleeping months he was younger - I'd say six to eleven months were the worst.

Anyway I got your FB msg so see if the grobag makes any difference, it's an easier thing to try.

off out.

Thanks a lot VG.
Hmm that iea woul be goo except it takes aaaages for p to wake up. So if anyone is going to get to Seb before he's really going for it, it has to be me.
I think that's why I lost it so baly last night - he han't even gone to be, but he in't come up an sort seb out so I coul have a break for a change.

wini, no massive advice for u as i am still struggling a bit (tho definitely not as bad as you).. one thing my dh does ( as u know he doesn't do much) but when i go to bed, he is in charge of wake ups til he goes to bed.. its not much and sometimes if T is really unhappy we both end up with her, but at least i know that if she starts moaning and dh is still up, he will tend to her as best he can.. its not much but may allow you to lie snuggled in your bed even if you are not asleep??hugs

wini I feel your pain. This probably isn't going to sound very helpful but unless you and (d)p agree on a way forward you are always going to be fed up and Seb could be picking up on your distress.
When Mansteak and I managed to work as a team DD was so much easier to settle. Equally when it was just me then I am only worried about her and not worried about her waking him or him getting in a strop etc etc etc.

Could you agree something like:

You go in to Seb first then DP takes over after half an hour or however long you agree. Then you take over again and so on.

That way you are working together and the burden doesn't just fall on one of you.
Does DP have any ideas about what to try? (assuming you have disproved his no-drink theory)

Hi

Ann the best thing I can tell you is this all shall pass. Try to nap when he naps so the nights will be easier on you. Your plan to stop night feeds is a good idea. You've already realized his wakes are more habit than need. It will get worse before it gets better so making yourself breath in to 10 and exhale to 10 during the crying spells will result in a natural calming effect for you. This is a hurdle and I am confident you will achieve it. It is nice when partners can help but it isn't required. We, as females and mothers, are naturally equipped with all that is required where our babies are concerned. Find your inner mother strength. Believe in yourself. WE all believe in you. (((hug)))

Ladies I am in a childless state of delirium. Dsis has taken the boys over to mum and dads, leaving dh and I free until tomorrow lunchtime . Night out tonight, shame AF is in town too! I am just going to have a loooonnnnggg lay in the bath

Played hockey this morning, we lost 7-0 ouch! To be fair, the opposition are top of the table . Still, you can't win em all!!

Hark, whats that I hear.....? SILENCE for the first time in about, ooohh 14 months

Sorry ann that must seem really rude to post when you are so knackered. Have you stopped bf at night?

Cece, you luck duck. Have a lovely time.

Ann, much sympathy from here too. It sounds to me as if p isn't being very kind. This is difficult for both of you, and working on a plan formed in daylight, as steaky said, sounds like the best plan.

Can you tell us exactly what you do when you go into Seb (lights on/off, talking/ no talking, staying in his room etc) to see if we can problem solve it a bit?

lucky

sorry. trying to blow bubbles here.

cavey ooh how lovely your dsis is doing so well isn;t she???? How kind to take the boys. have a good night out!!

ann i feel your pain - but i don;t think i have it as bad as you .

Where's that STICKYOURTONGUEOUT smiley?....CAPTAIN!

Thanks Albs, dsis is doing fantastic 6 months dry and her dd has her mummy back, and I have my lovely big sis back . It's all thanks to her moving back home with mum and dad, and I praise the Lord everyday for her recovery

Now then, where is that sticky tongue out emoticon

I was thinking about her this week after watching that Horizon programme cece.

So delighted for all of you that she is doing so well.

hmph. well. At least now I know how much P appreciates me!
Less said the better really, wont bore you with the details.

Can I go hide on an island somewhere?

cc good to hear about your sister.

There is room at the Aug 08 Devon commune if you want to escape for a bit Wini.

Boris Becker being interviewed by Piers Morgan.
I used to have a Boris crush. Not sure why seeing the old photos or the current Boris. Must have been those tiny white shorts they wore in the 80s.

cece that is such wonderful news about your sister. It must bring so much joy to your whole family to see her getting better.

Wini so sorry this is still so crap for you. We never had it quite so bad and I never quite reached the end of my tether though I kept thinking I was close to it - but sleep has improved a LOT since DD has been a) walking b) eating a good sized dinner and c) taking only one nap (early afternoon). So none of that is really anything you can force before DS is ready, but I hope it makes you feel that there could be light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime I'm sure others have actual advice - I just offer solidarity and virtual hugs. Just realised the time - hope you are already in bed and that tonight is better.